poor body image (jealous over smaller/petite/more delicate women), hard to keep motivated

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  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
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    ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »
    Little petite girls... always have the advantage? Until it comes to... Reaching stuff on the top shelf of the grocery store *Excuse me, ma'am, I don't know you but can you hand me that peanut butter*, changing our own tires (I bet you've never once had to stand on the lug wrench handle and jump up and down to get the lug nuts loose.), chopping firewood (*Put your muscles behind it, girl!* 'I did...', rearranging the living room, (I need a furniture dolly just to move stuff to vacuum.)
    Sure, we might have the 'little petite advantage' of being seen as desirable to others, but when it comes to the real stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that REALLY matters in life? Believe me, you big strong girls will survive the zombie apocalypse, and we'll just be corpses at the door.

    But you guys can charm big strong men into doing all of that stuff for you :)

  • TravisJHunt
    TravisJHunt Posts: 533 Member
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    I think we all want what we can't have. You look gorgeous in your photo and should be proud that you live an active lifestyle. Remember, skinny doesn't mean healthy. My wife's bigger than yourself, similar body type and I love her to death. I don't think skinny girls have an advantage, they just have a different group of people who like that body style. I've got zero interest in a girl whose body resembles that of a young teenage boy. Not that there is anything wrong with being skinny, I just don't like the look. I prefer curves and I know many men/women who feel the same way. So just think of it as you are just different, not advantaged or disadvantaged, just different. Keep being active and try not to put so much stock on the body type, its more about healthiness! I'd much rather be stocky and alive than skinny and dead!
  • HealthierRayne
    HealthierRayne Posts: 268 Member
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    I am not sure what advantage petite women have over us. I say us because I am a 5'11" amazonian myself. I wear size 12 shoes and have always had shoulders hips and a butt that could knock over a toddler if I am not careful.

    Yes, they are smaller and might have an easier time finding long enough pants (although they tend to have to hem them, so we have the same struggle as these other ladies just on opposite ends of the spectrum) but that doesn't mean any one of them is better than you for any reason.

    Are you the only one who has put yourself down like this? Or have other people made rude and judgmental comments about your stature? Maybe you should consider where those comments are coming from, a lot of people are insecure and project that onto others in hopes of making themselves feel better - and they don't realize the consequences it has.

    I think that losing the weight is important if it will improve your overall health. I also think that, given your comments it would be vital to also work on your self love. It's very strange but in my personal situation I am much more accepting of my body now at 248lbs then when I was 148lbs all because of the work I have put into my self esteem and self acceptance.
  • JessicaMcB
    JessicaMcB Posts: 1,503 Member
    edited June 2016
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    I can relate to your feelings OP as I'm 5'9" and even when I was as low as 125 I wasn't "delicate", I'm straight as a ruler at that weight but I still look like I could pull the plow iykwim. Really all you can do is become the best version of yourself though, there's no point in wishing to be shorter and smaller boned given that neither surgery nor a deficit the size of Texas can give you either. Embrace being able to reach all the top shelves without assistance ;)
  • karahm78
    karahm78 Posts: 505 Member
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    MissDeeDee78 wrote: »
    Be unique, be different, be exotic, be you!

    YESSSS!!!!!

  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    There is something beautiful in all body types. You can't change your skeleton, you can just be in the best shape for the body you have. While some people do like the petite look for women, there are a lot of people that really like a taller woman that isn't petite.
    I had a girlfriend that was 5'10" 188 pounds and ran marathons. When she got dressed up she had men drooling. I suspect she is similar to you. She was strong, she wasn't fat, but she wasn't thin, but she was happy with herself and was absolutely gorgeous.
    My suspicion is you will get more graceful as you practice dancing more. Size has less to do with looking clumsy than lack of practice. Dance sounds like a great exercise for you.
    No matter how we are built, our religion, nationality, family, social status, or what our skin tone there are always going to be people that don't like us because of it and it isn't anything we can do about it. It is bad enough dealing with those people, we shouldn't do it to ourselves
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
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    WickedPineapple wrote: »
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    (I could go on and on about the negative crap disguised as "realistic helpful advice" from my family, but I won't... it's mostly just hearing things like "little petite girls will always have the advantage so just learn to accept it"... yeah, mental poison to be sure, but it sticks with you)

    I'm really curious... what advantages to being petite are they talking about? Getting hit in the face by elbows or run into because people just don't see you? Having to jump onto counters to get things out of cabinets? Top shelves being a complete mystery (I mean, who knows what's up there)? Having to jump to get into a work truck (and having to kind of slide to get back out)? People singing you the Lollipop Guild song and/or calling you a munchkin? Don't get me wrong, I like being short. I'm adorable. But I'll never be "hot" with legs that go on for miles. These days I'm mostly concerned about having to shop in the kids section...

    Self-esteem is more internal than external in my opinion. Work on your outside of course, but work on your inside view of yourself too. Be kind to yourself and avoid these kinds of conversations with your family.

    PS - "Little petite girls"? It sounds like they don't have much respect for petite women anyway.

    I should have clarified a bit... they were referring to dating and relationships. I think that there was/is always an assumption in their mind that petite = more attractive and appealing to men.

  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    I should have clarified a bit... they were referring to dating and relationships. I think that there was/is always an assumption in their mind that petite = more attractive and appealing to men.

    Luckily, not all men like the same type of woman. Sounds like something your family needs to learn! :)
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
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    ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »
    Little petite girls... always have the advantage? Until it comes to... Reaching stuff on the top shelf of the grocery store *Excuse me, ma'am, I don't know you but can you hand me that peanut butter*, changing our own tires (I bet you've never once had to stand on the lug wrench handle and jump up and down to get the lug nuts loose.), chopping firewood (*Put your muscles behind it, girl!* 'I did...', rearranging the living room, (I need a furniture dolly just to move stuff to vacuum.)
    Sure, we might have the 'little petite advantage' of being seen as desirable to others, but when it comes to the real stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that REALLY matters in life? Believe me, you big strong girls will survive the zombie apocalypse, and we'll just be corpses at the door.

    Exactly.

    I can haul a full bale of peat moss to my garden, or carry around an air conditioner and haul it upstairs by myself, even though the box says "team lift." I would HATE to be weak and small and dependent on other people to get stuff done.

    I dance too, so I know what you mean...maybe try a different dance idiom? I never looked right doing belly dance because my hips and butt are not big enough relative to the rest of my body. I love Latin dance, particularly standard salsa and bachata. I'm old and I am an Amazon, but I dance well and I am fun, so I never have a problem finding leads. Tiny girls might have an advantage over me as performers, but that is about it. When I go out dancing, I see lots of cute, petite girls sitting on the sidelines...while all of the guys are dancing with me.

  • mom2my4boys
    mom2my4boys Posts: 148 Member
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    I struggle with the same jealousy of petite women. I'm 5'5 and 175lbs with a lowish (who really knows?1?) bodyfat. I have an hourglass shape and it's great but i'm never going to be a petite woman. After 4 kids (including twins) and 100+lb loss, my hips aren't going to get much smaller than 40" no matter how low I get my bodyfat and i've had these DD's since about age 12. I'm working on loving my body for what it can do. I can run a sub30min 5k, i can lift heavy stuff. Maybe you could look for motivation this way? Just know your not alone <3
  • walking2running
    walking2running Posts: 140 Member
    edited June 2016
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    I'd love to be taller, and have a higher TDEE as a result LOL...that's all that comes to mind as an "average" sized woman.

    There are people who are actually jealous of you.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    it took a long time for me to love who i am. to stop listening to the outside chatter and embrace my height. my size. i think working on eating right working out, helped a lot. being an amazon is not a bad thing. xena, wonder woman, those are my idols. stop listening to those around you and embrace who you are! you are gorgeous! add me if you want support
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
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    mom2my4boys wrote: »
    I struggle with the same jealousy of petite women. I'm 5'5 and 175lbs with a lowish (who really knows?1?) bodyfat. I have an hourglass shape and it's great but i'm never going to be a petite woman. After 4 kids (including twins) and 100+lb loss, my hips aren't going to get much smaller than 40" no matter how low I get my bodyfat and i've had these DD's since about age 12. I'm working on loving my body for what it can do. I can run a sub30min 5k, i can lift heavy stuff. Maybe you could look for motivation this way? Just know your not alone <3

    I've never been an athletic or competitive person. I don't like sports and don't have the motivation to lift heavy stuff (although I can do it if necessary - I just don't see it as empowering when I can just get a dolly or wheelbarrow instead :) ). It's just not important to me. But I'm glad there are a lot of other people that feel empowered by it!

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