poor body image (jealous over smaller/petite/more delicate women), hard to keep motivated
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fitdaisygrrl wrote: »I think body image for every woman is an issue.
I agree.
You work with what you have, tune out the noise (Madison Avenue) and live your life. Time is flying by - so get out there, laugh & live!!
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »Little petite girls... always have the advantage? Until it comes to... Reaching stuff on the top shelf of the grocery store *Excuse me, ma'am, I don't know you but can you hand me that peanut butter*, changing our own tires (I bet you've never once had to stand on the lug wrench handle and jump up and down to get the lug nuts loose.), chopping firewood (*Put your muscles behind it, girl!* 'I did...', rearranging the living room, (I need a furniture dolly just to move stuff to vacuum.)
Sure, we might have the 'little petite advantage' of being seen as desirable to others, but when it comes to the real stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that REALLY matters in life? Believe me, you big strong girls will survive the zombie apocalypse, and we'll just be corpses at the door.
But you guys can charm big strong men into doing all of that stuff for you
*ahem* You bat your eyes at me, I can pretty much guarantee you could charm me too...
Most of my cousins are thin/smaller. I hated being average when we were growing up. Once we got older and I put on too much weight, I hated they were average. But when something needs to be done in the family, they know I'm the reliable one who can get stuff done, furniture moved, landscaping done in a reasonable time, instead of tiring out and basically wilting. By your pic, you are gorgeous. It may not change your mind coming from someone else, but I'm pretty confident saying others are not looking at you thinking the same thoughts you have.1 -
I'm 5'4" but at 215-220 I don't look "petite", "small", or "delicate" and, I wasn't having any luck getting big strong men to do things for me either. But then I hit on an idea, and started watching old (like 1940s and 50s) movies with movie stars whose body types and personalities I thought favored mine. I notice, some of these women, would not be seen as "cute" normally if you ran into them on the street either. But (think Katherine Hepburn) they found a way to carry and present themselves to others as the most glamorous things on two feet. That has helped me a lot, as my frame is changing (50 pounds down so far but much more to go), and I am getting closer to cute.4
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While maybe not to the same extent, guys face similar issues. I'm 5'7" and envy the "tall" guys. I'm just short and stocky. But...that's how God made me and I can't control that. What I can control is being the best me I can be, and my weight is in my control.
Being short does have its advantages though. I can sit comfortably in the coach section of airplanes. Being short, I tend to have better balance than many taller people I know. I can own a Miata (which I do) and fit in it comfortably.
As many here have said, don't compare yourself to others. The grass only looks greener on the other side. Everyone has their own different weeds. Oh...and you look great in your pictures except when you look like a seal.1 -
See, I just don't get the big deal of being able to reach something on a high shelf when you can ask someone to do it, or get a step stool, or get something long to push it towards you. I do work out but I have no interest in power lifting or competitive sports (nothing wrong with those who do... it's just not my cup of tea.).
Someone had asked me if other people have made rude comments about my size... I have had a few comments from men (nasty comments about being mannish or looking like a tree) and of course my family was a neverending source of comments that, in retrospect, I really do not think were meant to be hurtful... they just don't have a filter. A lot of comments about how women of my size were naturally less graceful, should not wear certain types of clothes because someone with our frame would look "slutty" (short skirts, etc.), don't even consider entering that junior beauty pageant (this was in junior high) because you would be in competition with all the little petite cute girls (their words).
It feels therapeutic to put this all out there... I have never spoken to anyone so openly about my feelings about this before. thanks to all of you.0 -
Sister, you just have to learn to love yourself for who you are and not for how you perceive people see you. When I look at your photo I see a voluptuous with a great smile and what I would imagine is a warm heart. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you can bet there are tons of guys wanting to behold you. Love yourself.1
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Two Words: Gabby Reese. 6' 3" tall YOU are as gorgeous as she is!
I agree with pretty much everyone else. Comparison is a negative thing we can all live without. From your picture you are absolutely gorgeous, my friend. I'm 5'0' and probably weigh more than you.....I'd love to have your body...wanna trade?Embrace your whole being. You do not look like a moose by no means.
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@PrincessTinyheart it makes me really sad to hear/read you say those words. I am 6'2" and luckily accepted my height after high school. I've always had a lot of attention from men and women who think I'm beautiful. I'm sure you have too, you haven't been able to accept the compliments because you don't love yourself. You can be the most perfect specimen in the world, but if you aren't happy within, it doesn't matter. Try to pick out something you love about your inner beauty and outer beauty and say out loud every day..."I love my...." Words of affirmation to yourself will help!0
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »See, I just don't get the big deal of being able to reach something on a high shelf when you can ask someone to do it, or get a step stool, or get something long to push it towards you.
When it's an everyday struggle, it becomes a big deal. Believe me. It's beyond annoying. Even just reaching for cereal on top of the fridge is not something easily done. Everyday simple tasks just aren't simple when you have to pull out and unfold a step ladder, get said item down, try not to fall down on your way down, put the item on the counter, fold the ladder back up and put it away and then by then you've forgotten wth you were doing2 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »A lot of comments about how women of my size were **naturally less graceful**, should not wear certain types of clothes because someone with our frame would look "slutty" (short skirts, etc.), **don't even consider entering that junior beauty pageant (this was in junior high) because you would be in competition with all the little petite cute girls (their words)**.
I understand that your family didn't mean to be mean, but as someone whose mother said -- EVERY time I was walking out the door -- "you're not going to wear THAT, are you!?!?" (yikes!) it can have a negative effect and probably was really really hurtful to you. I added emphasis because those words may have become a deep part of your current image of yourself. Would you be able, now, to build a different, more realistic positive image of the truly beautiful woman that you have become? Good on you for being open to all this input!
--Amateur psychologist, signing off now.1 -
As everyone else has already expressed, the grass is always greener.........I'm one of those 'delicate petites' - and I ended up climbing the shelves of my grocery store a few days ago to get what I wanted - this happens all of the time, and it drives me nuts! I don't feel particularly graceful or lucky when I'm scaling the shelves at the stores I shop at I feel like a &$^# fool - but there's nothing I can do to change it. Point is - at some point we have to accept the genes we've been dealt, and move on.3
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »See, I just don't get the big deal of being able to reach something on a high shelf when you can ask someone to do it, or get a step stool, or get something long to push it towards you. I do work out but I have no interest in power lifting or competitive sports (nothing wrong with those who do... it's just not my cup of tea.).
Someone had asked me if other people have made rude comments about my size... I have had a few comments from men (nasty comments about being mannish or looking like a tree) and of course my family was a neverending source of comments that, in retrospect, I really do not think were meant to be hurtful... they just don't have a filter. A lot of comments about how women of my size were naturally less graceful, should not wear certain types of clothes because someone with our frame would look "slutty" (short skirts, etc.), don't even consider entering that junior beauty pageant (this was in junior high) because you would be in competition with all the little petite cute girls (their words).
It feels therapeutic to put this all out there... I have never spoken to anyone so openly about my feelings about this before. thanks to all of you.
I think your problem isn't your body. It's your mind, yes? You have let other people take their own insecurity and make it your problem. Men who make rude comments about tall ladies? The problem there is not tall ladies, believe me on that.
I'm tall, and can honestly say that while I have wished I were an inch taller on occasion, I've never wished to be short. Yes I have gotten angry looks and comments from men, especially when I wear heels, but that says something about them, not me. The only guys I have seriously dated were my height, so most of the time I look taller than them when we go out.
If you are pinging someone else's insecurity simply by being tall, they have issues. Stop letting those issues become yours.
On the short skirts, I agree in a way, different body types look sexy in different things - short ladies can wear miniskirts and look professional, I can't, sure. I look more sexy than professional in miniskirt, there's just more leg below the hemline. But I can wear the plungingest necklines as tall and almost flat chested lady, and look professional. I have shirts that I wear to work that most women would look sexy in, to the point of being unprofessional. They don't look remotely inappropriate on me, just good. That kind of stuff, no whining allowed, there are way more good looks for tall women than short, more things are made to look good on taller women. You have the advantage, be gracious.
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This thread is just sad.8
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I'm 5'3" - I love being short
I cuddle in to my husband's chest at the perfect height
His arms cradle me in the best way. I admit, when I need something off the top shelf at the store, I bat my green eyes and men help me out
One downfall that I can think of is that at a concert once, I was on the floor in General Admission and I got stuck between 2 tall guys, both of which smelled like they hadn't showered in decades. I love live music but this was not a good time for me.
That being said, I don't mind being short at all. When I reach for things at home with tongs, hubby laughs, tickles me and kisses my neck.
I'm very good with this0 -
The way you look is only one aspect of who you are. It is difficult in our society to believe that it isn't all consuming and the most important thing. Work on your belief system. Is it really everything? That leads to being sad A LOT.0
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I am a big hulking amazon girl! I love it! Broad shoulders and hips make for nice curves, plus I can pick up heavy things and open my own jars. My daughter is built just like me, and she's a ballerina. When they have to move the bars, she picks up one end and hoists it over her shoulder like a construction worker while two other girls struggle together to lift the other end. It's great to be strong and healthy, the tiny girls just look weak in comparison!
I think it's safe to say that losing weight isn't going to improve your body image issues - you are already gorgeous and your picture is lovely and your weight is not the reason you have a poor body image.
I think the key here is being happy with the cards you have been dealt. There are a lot of advantages to the build we have and they far outweigh the disadvantages, but only if you choose to see them, embrace them, and accept them. Life is short. How many years have you already spent being unhappy with something completely out of your realm of control? Do what you can to lose weight if you want, but don't fret about the way you are made.3 -
I am 5'10" and at my highest weight I was tipping 400 pounds. No one would have (or did) ever guessed that I weighed even close to that amount. Not because I didn't look like it, but because I didn't act like it. My perception of myself has always affected everyone else's perception of me. Confidence is a very powerful thing.
Edited for autocorrect1 -
You are definitely not alone! We all go through this. I'm 5'5 and relatively in shape (I have some BF to lose) but still fight "teeny person envy." Powerlifting has helped me a TON...now I focus more on what my body can DO as opposed to simply how it LOOKS.0
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Im the same way. I use to change my hair all the time and now im at a point where, It doesnt matter what color my hair is. Im a fat girl. Maybe if I were thinner.....so here I am.0
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I wish I had the desire to lift weights... I really do... but I want to do stuff that little delicate girls do... I wanted to be a cheerleader in school but never even tried out because I would have been the biggest girl there and that thought terrified me. I wasn't thin enough to be a model
I really start to wonder if the idea of past lives isn't such an outlandish concept, what with so many people wanting to be in different bodies than they have. I always thought it would be fun to be smaller because there are so many more fashion options for small women... they can wear anything and get away with it. Men long to cuddle and protect and cherish them.0
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