A Fat, Ugly Bride-to-be

Options
12346»

Replies

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Options
    cherrypeach1 wrote: »
    A Fat, Ugly Bride-to-be

    Seek professional help for your mental health first.

  • ShinySkyShaymin1994
    ShinySkyShaymin1994 Posts: 105 Member
    Options
    CherryPeach your look BEATIFUL! All I can say is that it's all mental I used to be like that I used to be 370 lbs I have Autism and I lost 143 lbs! it's very hard to love yourself when things keep facing your way trust me I used to hate being Autistic but I later learned to love myself for who I am not what I was diagnosed with and I just view it as another obstacle that stands in my way that I will break down because I want to be an inspiration to the weight loss and Autism Communities! You can do anything you set your mind to! You have a lucky man your going to marry anyone would be lucky to have a beautiful woman like you
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    Options
    cherrypeach1 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    I'd work on the self esteem issues before any weight loss goals if I was you, or you've got a very miserable next 50 years to look forward to!

    I totally agree...the first 35 years have already been pretty miserable, no need to add anymore years to the tally. Sigh.

    You suggest working on my self-esteem before working on my weight loss. Do you think working out and eating right would hinder my ability to work on my self-esteem? I would think that eating right and exercising would help me to feel better about myself, which would in turn help with my self-esteem issues. Or are you more saying that my focus should be on self-esteem with weight loss being a secondary goal? To me they seem to go hand-in-hand.

    There's a push-up challenge kicking off to do 2100 push-ups in a month. That's a big number but not too big. One of my new friends started doing the push-up challenge last month and she began by pooh-poohing her abilities and now near the end she says she feels badass for being able to do it. Maybe getting yourself involved in a fitness challenge of some sort can help you overcome some self-doubt.
  • Kingvjackson
    Kingvjackson Posts: 17 Member
    edited June 2016
    Options
    Don't have to work out 5 or 6 times a week 4 is enough start at 4 days and than if u can go to five days. Most important is a healthy low calorie diet for weight loss. Cardio to burn extra calories and create a higher calorie deficit. Also get a min of 8 hours of sleep . sleeping is very important for your body to recover from working out. You can do it!!!!!!!! Experiment. See what works for u. :-)
  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 668 Member
    Options
    First off, stop this *kitten* right now. You would never say those horrible things to a friend or sister would you??
    I looked at your profile photo and you have a beautiful smile.
    Obviously, someone thinks you're beautiful because he's asked you to marry him.
    Anybody can pick themselves apart if they want to, but you can also decide to start taking care of yourself through a healthy diet and exercise.
    Not just to prepare for a wedding, for for a long healthy life with the man you love.
    No matter what age you are on your wedding day, God willing you will look at the photos 20 or 30 years from now and think you looked beautiful.
    Be kind to yourself.
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,146 Member
    Options
    I read your post and I wanted to look at my wedding pictures too until I realized that had very few of them and only taken at the church.

    I see in those pictures a very young and very small bride barely 5 feet and less than a 100lbs, totally unaware of what life had already prepared for her but happy to be forever with the love of her life.

    A lace mantilla was covering her short hair and in her hand she was holding a crystal rosary, both “borrowed” from her mother in law. She wasn’t wearing a white wedding dress because she couldn’t afford one, just a simple pale gray dress and jacket that she paid for herself. She had no formal or fancy wedding ceremony or a party either because her father couldn’t afford it; just a very small group of family members, courtesy of her in laws. The bride’s mother had died almost three years before, when she was barely 19 years old and in her eyes and in her father’s eyes pomp and ceremony were totally out of place. That was the thinking back then.

    That was me. I was 22 years old. Today I am 72 years old, and in April my husband and I celebrated fifty years of marriage. So what is more important?

    You are beautiful and you will get to wear a white dress for your wedding, and you will enjoy looking at your wedding pictures. And I hope that you and your man get to spend the next fifty years together and be as happy as I am with mine.
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    cherrypeach1 wrote: »
    I'm officially engaged. At 35 years old...it's about freakin' time. I'm happy to be engaged to a wonderful man, BUT, I'm dreading the wedding process. Why? Because I'm old, fat and ugly. I'm not looking forward to taking engagement/wedding photos. I'm not looking forward to buying a size 14 wedding dress (I'm 5'10")--so I can look like a cow wrapped up in lace. I'm not looking forward to looking back at my wedding photos and remembering how terrible I looked during what should be the happiest time in my life. I wish I would have gotten married when I was in my twenties--i.e.: 30 lbs lighter and loads prettier.

    I was talking to my friend today and she was asking me about engagement photos and I told her I didn't want to have any memories of looking like this because I'm fat, old and ugly. And her response to that was: "You're not old."

    In other words, I am fat and I am ugly.

    I can't do much about the ugly...but I (theoretically) can do something about the fat--not for the wedding, but for myself. I'm so tired of feeling ashamed of my appearance. I'm so tired of feeling miserable everyday because I can't stand the reflection in the mirror.

    Things I plan to do starting today:
    1. Learn to love myself for who I am--regardless of my appearance
    2. Work on having a more positive attitude
    3. Weigh/track everything I eat and stay at or under my calorie goal
    4. Exercise 5-6x per week (running, weights, yoga)
    5. Stay consistent and don't listen to the excuses my mind makes to fall off track

    Any other feedback will be greatly appreciated.

    Fat, disfigured, whatever, I can honestly tell you that if you are marrying someone you love and doing it for all the right reasons, your wedding day will be one of the most amazing, memorable, and fondly looked back upon days of your life.

    I think your first two goals need to be prioritized more than exercising. I think you should add therapy to your list.
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    cherrypeach1 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    I'd work on the self esteem issues before any weight loss goals if I was you, or you've got a very miserable next 50 years to look forward to!

    I totally agree...the first 35 years have already been pretty miserable, no need to add anymore years to the tally. Sigh.

    You suggest working on my self-esteem before working on my weight loss. Do you think working out and eating right would hinder my ability to work on my self-esteem? I would think that eating right and exercising would help me to feel better about myself, which would in turn help with my self-esteem issues. Or are you more saying that my focus should be on self-esteem with weight loss being a secondary goal? To me they seem to go hand-in-hand.

    Losing 30lbs won't make you suddenly happy...

    Yes! Whatever this person said was dead on!
  • ccheiden
    ccheiden Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    What an amazing community.

    In response to op: I get it, it sucks being uncomfortable and dreading *kitten* like this. The best part is that you came on here and let it out. Now enjoy the fun in self-improvement and remember you only have right now.

Categories