RANT OVER UNHEALTHY PEOPLE JUDGING YOU
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"F*** you, fatty" is a helpful phrase in that situation.1
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A chilly "when I want advice, I'll ask for it" tends to shut them down. If that doesn't work, then "Let's make a deal. If you get to lecture me about this, then I get to lecture you about (insert their worst habit here)."0
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ChrisM8971 wrote: »
Ummm not sure this is something I should admit but it is a skill many of us men learn when we get married :happy:
ETA Spelling
This can backfire, Chris. When I ask my husband "would you like to (insert naughty act here) or are you in the mood for a (insert naughty service here)" and he's tuning me out.... Yeah, this actually happens. I feel rather peeved when I have to start removing articles of clothing and draping them over his head to get his attention.
You could be missing out on some action by not hearing your wife!
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this used to irriate me a lot, but I have learned over the years and grating and frustrating instances, that people will comment on your body and eating habits no matter what, esp. if you're female. I learned to recognise it's them having been taught by the larger society and culture to make assumptions and have standards for others as personal as how you lose weight, and they just haven't learned otherwise. After I realized that, I don't get angry anymore. It feels good because I'm able to move on❤️ took me a while to learn this though, after multiple many many stressful instances0
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People just started commenting about my weight loss. With a BMI of 23 I am definitely not super skinny but I did get a lot smaller and want to lose even more. They say things like: Don't lose anymore, you already lost to much and don't look good anymore when you are so skinny. Well, I don't tell people, don't get any fatter, you are fat enough. I think it's nobody's business how fat or small you are or get. So they should keep their mouth shut.1
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This happened last night but, i didn't have your technique----it was b4 reading this. Even my DH gave me same advice you just told OP.
Thinking it has to work better than trying to defend my life choices...and really ppl who aren't yet willing to put their health first, not all, but some, can be very critical.
Hoping i can practice your "art" the next time it's needed.ChrisM8971 wrote: »There is a technique that you should perfect that I call "The art of listening without listening" and it is the ability to nod, make sympathetic noises and generally agree while not taking the slightest notice of what the other person is actually saying.
I always think its worth trying
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Can I just say massive props to you for running 10 miles. I can do 5 before I'm ready to keel over. And they are 5 very slow miles that get slower with each passing mile.
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People are funny. When I was overweight, people that had bad health habits (very inactive, often starving themselves or eating low nutrient food) but were thinner than me used to give unsolicited advice all the time. Most of their advice was based on pop science (ie *kitten*). I always thought that people would stop pointing out my "unhealthy" habits when I lost weight. And then.... it got worse. Every time I drink a diet soda or god forbid a sugar free monster people act like that is countering everything else I do....
People point out how "toxic" my artificial sweeteners are and tell me all about the "chemicals" in my protein powder or that I should lift less (because I am female), or run less (because of my joints).
Now I just find it funny. Some days I am feeling particularly feisty and I will comment on the lack of scientific evidence to substantiate their claims (I do epidemiologic research on things like diabetes, cancer, obesity, nutrition, etc), but otherwise I have realized people aren't doing this because of me, but due to them.
I hashed this out with a friend who became particularly belittling about my lifestyle and it came down to the fact that she was insecure about her weight and my habits made her feel guilty (we were roommates at the time, so she was exposed to what I ate and did each day).
While I don't think this is the case for everyone, a lot of people project their insecurity on others. A lot of people don't even mean to, but it is far easier to think that someone's habits are "obsessive" or "extreme" or "unhealthy" than to look in the mirror and say why don't I have that "commitment", "determination", "motivation" etc. Or why is that not my priority?
People do this all the time. Someone achieves something and it was easy for them or they didn't have a real job or real obstacles.
While I think it is extremely frustrating, I would try to find like-minded people and understand that others may be jealous, insecure, or misinformed. Why else would they feel the need to comment on your habits?3 -
Yes! "Food nutrition health and fitness" are the new "politics, religion and money". Taboo topics and you must proceed with caution!GuitarJerry wrote: »I don't ever talk about health, nutrition, or exercise. Even when others talk about the soup diet they're on, I just clam up. I just do my own thing. I can't be bothered with others prying. I was told once that I was too skinny and that I should start eating more. Uh, I'm not too skinny. Lol. What a weird thing to say to me.
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People commenting negatively on my good habits definitely don't make me furious. I am doing what is right for me and I have studied up on it. If I am in a perverse mood I will ask them for the studies they have read that support that belief because all my reading has indicated the exact opposite. But that is just me humoring myself, normally I just ignore it.0
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This.bluefox9er wrote: »Seriously?
I couldn't care less what people think of me. I have a marathon coming up in 6 weeks and started a new job with a big company.
The last thing I could care about right now is what people think of me.
I often give them the DILLIGAF look.
I often have people telling me that eating Oreos and icecream will make me fat.
Ha. Okay, buddy... My 85lb loss tells a different story.
Eff them. Ignore them. Use that built up rage to workout harder.
And in the end, you are closer to your goal.
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Perhaps you are giving others far too much credit for the control they exert over your emotional state. No one makes you "furious" - they dont throw you to the floor and do something to you - you do that to yourself by the way you interpret their comments. Apparently you see their comments as derogatory. You can choose not to react that way - a cool, icy stare can speak volumes. Seriously, if you feel fury over those kinds of comments, you must be absolutely out of control when something worse comes along!1
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FitnessLover001 wrote: »Does anyone else get FURIOUS at people who judge you for eating healthy??? And watching what you eat?? Or tell you that you're "too obsessive" over exercise and eating healthy and should "enjoy your life??"" I'm like BACK UP, I take pride in my work in the gym and kitchen and DO ENJOY EATING HEALTHY. Sorry I don't want fries with that???!?!
Like today I was told running long distances was terrible for you and I would have to have knee surgery and leg surgery when I got older and was basically belittled because I like running ten miles instead of being told, "Wow look at you go!" Like excuse me people, I love love LOVE being healthy and no I may not eat the entire serving of cake that is put on my plate, but that means I'm "too obsessive" and "worry about my weight too much" ?!?!?!?
People can just piss you off, ya know?
I feel ya! I've been told I was too skinny...I've been told I don't eat enough by some, I've been told I eat too often and obsess over what I do eat by others and that I'm obsessive about my working out! You know what I say when somebody negatively comments about my own personal healthy habits that make me happy?
"I don't recall asking for your opinion or comment on my healthy choices, just like you didn't ask me to comment on your unhealthy ones!"
I've been able to say this exactly 4 times and it was AWESOME!1 -
Goodness, who are these people that are commenting on y'alls weight??1
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OP's post is from over two years ago, she probably doesn't need advice or props.
How do people pull up these threads?5 -
I used to care, then I became a mom and the judgement went up like 10 fold. Now, I have no *kitten* left to give
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lemurcat12 wrote: »OP's post is from over two years ago, she probably doesn't need advice or props.
How do people pull up these threads?
Probably the search feature. On a lot of forums you're encouraged to search for previous discussions and, if they exist, contribute to them rather than start a new one.3 -
A relative recently asked what I was doing to lose weight and I told her I stopped eating ALL the food and started moving more. Another relative replied "See, I like to eat so I know that won't work for me". I just told her "Yeah, me too" and left it at that. Um, I think we ALL enjoy food and like to eat. It's always one excuse after another, which is why I don't discuss what I'm doing or try to give anyone advice. And if someone did ask for advice, I don't necessarily care if they take it - it's not my life.
Thankfully, though, I've been mostly getting comments like "YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, GIRL" . 1
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