I'm an alcoholic, and starting tomorrow I'm not letting myself drink
Replies
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yellownickel wrote: »Thank you all for your kind words. It really and truly means a lot. Up until a few minutes ago, my husband was the only one that knew. I don't think my 12-year-old son even knows -- I wait to start drinking every night until he's asleep, even if that means I'm up until 3am.
I have to say, I feel a little less shaken already. The kindness of strangers really is something.
And @itsalifestylenotadiet , I'm sorry about your kitty. I'll be thinking about you. I sent you a request, but right now that's not important.
You truly got this I believe, you took the first step and acknowledged you have a problem and for that I am very proud of you even though you are a stranger. It really makes my heart swell when there is a problem and it's acknowledged. Hard work and determination will get you there. I don't have a friend request from you but I will send you one.
Thank you, my grandkids and daughter are devastated. We don't even know what happened to her but she is at peace now and buried with her funeral pending.
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Alatariel75 wrote: »RosemaryBronte wrote: »Several members of my family gave up alcoholism by going to Alcoholics Anonymous. They say that the support and encouragement they get from their AS group has transformed their lives as well as enabling them to live free from alcohol.
We have a good friend who drank a fair bit but never had it interfere with his life, but when he decided to quit, he started AA. He reckons it's the best thing he's done. Maybe give it a try?
My plan this week, and probably today, is to go find a group. Thank you both, I'm nervous about it but have heard amazing things. So we'll see5 -
Good to hear you are going to check out a meeting. In the interest of public information here are other groups.
http://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-articles/if-not-aa-then-what-alternatives-to-12-step-groups/
Do you have a plan on what you will do when the craving hits tonight? It might be a long night.1 -
Well done for taking such a huge step! You can do this. It's a long road with ups and downs but we all believe in you. Take it one day at a time and remember we're all here for support. Feel free to add me if you want to chat.1
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Well done to you.
I was never addicted, but I have given up alcohol more for the benefit to my mental health. People still find it unusual that I don't drink alcohol. It's a socially acceptable poison3 -
Well I'd love to help but I'm in the same boat as you, drink every evening in moderation.
Maybe I should try to give up? I've only managed a day here and there before.0 -
Congrats to you - if you want this, you'll have it. I quit drinking roughly 5 months ago, I quit smoking too - smoked for over 20 years, and surprisingly I miss the alcohol, not the smoking. I'm surprised at myself as I do crave and think about the beer quite often. Turns out perhaps I had more of an issue than I thought I did...I drank every day - probably average 3 a day, so I was well on my way getting there. I never thought of it as a problem until I quit. I didn't have withdrawal symptoms, however with the way my mind is now, I'm glad it happened when it did. I've now found drinking non-alcoholic beer helps - and it's low in calories so helps with the weight situation too.
My point is, one day at a time, one right decision at a time. Feel free to add me if you'd like....you can do this0 -
If you would like to add me for support feel free! I am a drug and alcohol treatment specialist at a male state prison. No judgment from me!2
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I drink on occasion but lots of people in my family are alcoholics. I've seen 2 of my uncles die from cirrhosis and it is the worst, most painful, disgusting thing to see, and it takes FOREVER for everything to finally shut down and them to die. Basically they lie there all swollen and yellow and incoherent but still know they're going to die. Think that was enough to make me not want to drink that much. Sounds gross but maybe if you look up some of those images it'll help you too? Sorry if I threw the gross card but it's all I got.3
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Good for you for seeing what you need to do. My husband is an alcoholic and hasn't had a drink in 20 years. He's also a nurse and sees a lot of patients who go in for surgery and have terrible troubles with DT for the couple of days they are without alcohol--it can be quite a health risk, so support from a doctor and a group like AA is a great idea!1
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I wish you luck on this difficult journey, just remember you CAN do it!1
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yellownickel wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »RosemaryBronte wrote: »Several members of my family gave up alcoholism by going to Alcoholics Anonymous. They say that the support and encouragement they get from their AS group has transformed their lives as well as enabling them to live free from alcohol.
We have a good friend who drank a fair bit but never had it interfere with his life, but when he decided to quit, he started AA. He reckons it's the best thing he's done. Maybe give it a try?
My plan this week, and probably today, is to go find a group. Thank you both, I'm nervous about it but have heard amazing things. So we'll see
Good luck. And give AA a try.
I've been sober over 4 years now, and I went to AA a LOT in the first year. (Although it sounds like I was in worse shape than you, haha.) It is great to be able to talk frankly with other people going through the same meat grinder as you are.
My only advice is, don't be put off by the zealots. Don't be put off by the God talk (if you're not religious, as I am not.) You'll know who they are - "You have to dive into the steps 1000%" - "you have to stop seeing ALL of your old friends" -"you have to get a sponsor RIGHT AWAY." - "half-measures availed us nothing" - etc.
Just use it as a therapy session. You'll make some good friends. Talking through the cravings & the hole it leaves in your life when you quit is simply AMAZING - no other way to put it.
Also, on of the biggest benefits for me was quitting the booze helped me lose the dreaded "stubborn last 10 pounds" - it was a breakthrough that made it all worth it!
Good luck!7 -
Great job facing up to your problem with booze! Do join AA - a friend of mine has been off the drink for 2 years now and he's much better for it. Not sure he could've done it without AA.3
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You can do it!!!1
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One day at a time! I love my wine and know that's some of my weight issue. I am working on cutting back. I know you can do this. Stay strong and focus on you and your health2
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ODAT! 28 years without a drink. Life is amazing.6
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Good for you. I have a lot of friends that are in recovery and not. Because its hard not to drink alone I "haven't drunk with them since I was 19". I will not drink with you too. Alcoholism is a terrible disease that steals your job, friends, family members and eventually your life. Children of alcoholics have twice the probability of becoming one. I'm glad that you started recovery young. You can do this. Consider AA and finding a sponsor who you can call if you have a problem. Talk to your doctor. He may refer you for counseling so that you determine why you drink. You got this girl!2
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Sober since Election Day 1989. All the clichés are true.
One day at a time.
I did not drink yesterday and I will not drink today.
The Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Best wishes on your journey.5 -
My last drink was on January 8th, 1993. I went through a formal treatment program for addiction, and they required me to attend AA which I did for a year or so. The main thing you'll get out of AA is a place where you can be accountable to yourself and to others for your ongoing sobriety. 90% of what you'll here there is the kind of BS that MrBungle mentions. Bear in mind that AA was developed in the 1930s by and for "hopeless alcoholics" who had exhausted every other possibility. The steps aren't magic, whether or not someone follows them doesn't seem to be a good predictor of success, and in my opinion you don't really need a sponsor to quit successfully. I would however suggest reconsidering your social life -- if you have drinking friends, hanging out with them may not be the healthiest choice since drinking friends are often threatened by one of their own going sober because they know they may have problems too. I stayed away from bars for a few years, and if I went to a party I came late, left early, and made sure I had my own transportation in case I started feeling uncomfortable. Some people can't use mouthwash because it reminds them of their drink of choice. You really need to know yourself.
There will also likely be some pressure (at least in some groups) to label yourself an "alcoholic". That's an AA label; there's no such diagnostic category in the DSM-5. People are substance abusers, or are substance dependent (and not being able to quit is one of the key signs of dependency). Not everyone who is an abuser becomes dependent but everyone who's dependent started out as an abuser). The key is, you can get the advantage of the support provided by AA without buying into the BS associated with it -- and no one should force you to call yourself an alcoholic. AA groups are different; if you don't like what you're hearing, try another one. Some groups are more fanatical and rigid than others, treating the Big Book as though it were the Bible and Bill W. its prophet.
The other thing I'd caution you about is considering a relapse as failure; last statistic I heard was the average number of tries to break an addiction is seven. Relapse isn't a failure, it's a normal part of the recovery process -- just as occasional days when you eat more than you intended are not failures, either.
Could I drink now in a controlled fashion? Maybe, maybe not -- but I don't intend finding out whether I can or not. The price is just way too high, and I frankly prefer a life without alcohol. A few years ago I did start using wine and other alcohol in cooking, but when I buy it I'll just get a small amount so I don't have a relapse in the making in my cabinet. But again, I can do this now 23.5 years later because I know myself and my limitations.
Here are a couple of alternatives to AA you might want to investigate; both I think have a good track record:
http://www.hamsnetwork.org
http://www.smartrecovery.org14 -
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You are very courageous and amazing for being so public about your drinking. I do wish you luck on your journey.1
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Good to hear you are going to check out a meeting. In the interest of public information here are other groups.
http://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-articles/if-not-aa-then-what-alternatives-to-12-step-groups/
Do you have a plan on what you will do when the craving hits tonight? It might be a long night.
Thank you! My plan for tonight is to go for a walk as soon as I start craving. I got rid of all the booze in the house, and will focus on drinking lots of fizzy water with fruit in it (which I love). And my husband is staying home from work tonight (he works graveyard) to help me.9 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »yellownickel wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »RosemaryBronte wrote: »Several members of my family gave up alcoholism by going to Alcoholics Anonymous. They say that the support and encouragement they get from their AS group has transformed their lives as well as enabling them to live free from alcohol.
We have a good friend who drank a fair bit but never had it interfere with his life, but when he decided to quit, he started AA. He reckons it's the best thing he's done. Maybe give it a try?
My plan this week, and probably today, is to go find a group. Thank you both, I'm nervous about it but have heard amazing things. So we'll see
Good luck. And give AA a try.
I've been sober over 4 years now, and I went to AA a LOT in the first year. (Although it sounds like I was in worse shape than you, haha.) It is great to be able to talk frankly with other people going through the same meat grinder as you are.
My only advice is, don't be put off by the zealots. Don't be put off by the God talk (if you're not religious, as I am not.) You'll know who they are - "You have to dive into the steps 1000%" - "you have to stop seeing ALL of your old friends" -"you have to get a sponsor RIGHT AWAY." - "half-measures availed us nothing" - etc.
Just use it as a therapy session. You'll make some good friends. Talking through the cravings & the hole it leaves in your life when you quit is simply AMAZING - no other way to put it.
Also, on of the biggest benefits for me was quitting the booze helped me lose the dreaded "stubborn last 10 pounds" - it was a breakthrough that made it all worth it!
Good luck!
THANK YOU! All your insights are greatly appreciated0 -
My last drink was on January 8th, 1993. I went through a formal treatment program for addiction, and they required me to attend AA which I did for a year or so. The main thing you'll get out of AA is a place where you can be accountable to yourself and to others for your ongoing sobriety. 90% of what you'll here there is the kind of BS that MrBungle mentions. Bear in mind that AA was developed in the 1930s by and for "hopeless alcoholics" who had exhausted every other possibility. The steps aren't magic, whether or not someone follows them doesn't seem to be a good predictor of success, and in my opinion you don't really need a sponsor to quit successfully. I would however suggest reconsidering your social life -- if you have drinking friends, hanging out with them may not be the healthiest choice since drinking friends are often threatened by one of their own going sober because they know they may have problems too. I stayed away from bars for a few years, and if I went to a party I came late, left early, and made sure I had my own transportation in case I started feeling uncomfortable. Some people can't use mouthwash because it reminds them of their drink of choice. You really need to know yourself.
There will also likely be some pressure (at least in some groups) to label yourself an "alcoholic". That's an AA label; there's no such diagnostic category in the DSM-5. People are substance abusers, or are substance dependent (and not being able to quit is one of the key signs of dependency). Not everyone who is an abuser becomes dependent but everyone who's dependent started out as an abuser). The key is, you can get the advantage of the support provided by AA without buying into the BS associated with it -- and no one should force you to call yourself an alcoholic. AA groups are different; if you don't like what you're hearing, try another one. Some groups are more fanatical and rigid than others, treating the Big Book as though it were the Bible and Bill W. its prophet.
The other thing I'd caution you about is considering a relapse as failure; last statistic I heard was the average number of tries to break an addiction is seven. Relapse isn't a failure, it's a normal part of the recovery process -- just as occasional days when you eat more than you intended are not failures, either.
Could I drink now in a controlled fashion? Maybe, maybe not -- but I don't intend finding out whether I can or not. The price is just way too high, and I frankly prefer a life without alcohol. A few years ago I did start using wine and other alcohol in cooking, but when I buy it I'll just get a small amount so I don't have a relapse in the making in my cabinet. But again, I can do this now 23.5 years later because I know myself and my limitations.
Here are a couple of alternatives to AA you might want to investigate; both I think have a good track record:
http://www.hamsnetwork.org
http://www.smartrecovery.org
You're absolutely amazing, thank you for all of your words, help and insight. It truly means a lot!3 -
You can do this. My boyfriend drank almost everyday too. Couldn't quit but one day he decided he was ready.. He quit without AA or anything and has been sober for 3 years. You got this!!!2
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Could I drink now in a controlled fashion? Maybe, maybe not -- but I don't intend finding out whether I can or not. The price is just way too high, and I frankly prefer a life without alcohol.
This is truth, right here.
I'm not gonna lie...I missed it - a lot - for the first year or so. But your brain kind of rewires itself & after a while, being sober was its own kind of "buzz".
I still enjoy the same things, I'm still the same smartass I was before. And I was worried about that. "My god, what am I going to do for fun??" Also, I really worried that my wife wouldn't find me "fun" anymore (we've been together since we were 23 and we have been partners in partying crime for 20 years.) But our relationship is better than ever! She still has a glass of wine occasionally, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I still have the same friends. While I don't go to every happy hour, I don't turn down party invitations either. Like vingogly said, I arrive late & leave early - once people start getting buzzed it gets really boring anyway.
If this sounds encouraging, then don't hesitate to find a support group. You'll wish you did it years ago.
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You got this!!!! Keep going!!!!2
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I am a recovering alcoholic and have 18 months of continuous sobriety right now and have a cumulative 13 years of sobriety since 2001. I am one out of millions who can personally prove that AA is a great way of life and that sobriety through the 12 steps with a sponsor has turned me into a happy, joyous, and free woman!!!
You have my complete support and I am happy to help you with your journey if you need!
Go to www.aa.org for meeting schedules and more information
I am available through others forms of social media also God bless you and keep you!!!3 -
Oh, and 1 more thing: withdrawal from alcohol is a very serious health risk. Not trying to instill any fear, but there are people who have died from detoxing on their own without medical supervision, so please be careful2
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You may need to wean yourself off the beer. DT'S are not pleasant and can be dangerous and unsafe. Just saying.....1
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