I'm an alcoholic, and starting tomorrow I'm not letting myself drink

vingogly wrote: »

My last drink was on January 8th, 1993. I went through a formal treatment program for addiction, and they required me to attend AA which I did for a year or so. The main thing you'll get out of AA is a place where you can be accountable to yourself and to others for your ongoing sobriety. 90% of what you'll here there is the kind of BS that MrBungle mentions. Bear in mind that AA was developed in the 1930s by and for "hopeless alcoholics" who had exhausted every other possibility. The steps aren't magic, whether or not someone follows them doesn't seem to be a good predictor of success, and in my opinion you don't really need a sponsor to quit successfully. I would however suggest reconsidering your social life -- if you have drinking friends, hanging out with them may not be the healthiest choice since drinking friends are often threatened by one of their own going sober because they know they may have problems too. I stayed away from bars for a few years, and if I went to a party I came late, left early, and made sure I had my own transportation in case I started feeling uncomfortable. Some people can't use mouthwash because it reminds them of their drink of choice. You really need to know yourself.

There will also likely be some pressure (at least in some groups) to label yourself an "alcoholic". That's an AA label; there's no such diagnostic category in the DSM-5. People are substance abusers, or are substance dependent (and not being able to quit is one of the key signs of dependency). Not everyone who is an abuser becomes dependent but everyone who's dependent started out as an abuser). The key is, you can get the advantage of the support provided by AA without buying into the BS associated with it -- and no one should force you to call yourself an alcoholic. AA groups are different; if you don't like what you're hearing, try another one. Some groups are more fanatical and rigid than others, treating the Big Book as though it were the Bible and Bill W. its prophet.

The other thing I'd caution you about is considering a relapse as failure; last statistic I heard was the average number of tries to break an addiction is seven. Relapse isn't a failure, it's a normal part of the recovery process -- just as occasional days when you eat more than you intended are not failures, either.

Could I drink now in a controlled fashion? Maybe, maybe not -- but I don't intend finding out whether I can or not. The price is just way too high, and I frankly prefer a life without alcohol. A few years ago I did start using wine and other alcohol in cooking, but when I buy it I'll just get a small amount so I don't have a relapse in the making in my cabinet. But again, I can do this now 23.5 years later because I know myself and my limitations.

Here are a couple of alternatives to AA you might want to investigate; both I think have a good track record:

http://www.hamsnetwork.org
http://www.smartrecovery.org