Self sabotage! Why??

Options
nvigliotte
nvigliotte Posts: 6 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Can't lose last 2lbs. Every time I get to 1lb from my goal I sabotage myself and eat a lot and go back to being 2lbs away from my goal. Why do I do this? It's almost like I won't let myself be happy. Don't deserve it.
«1

Replies

  • nvigliotte
    nvigliotte Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    Well I guess no it shouldn't make a difference in how I look or feel so I guess I shouldn't be unhappy. It's just that I was trucking right along in my weight loss feeling good and motivated to reach my goal. Then I got to 2lbs to my goal and I just.. stopped. And I mean it's been months. I've been trying to lose 2lbs for months. I know it's silly I just wanted to reach that goal I set for myself and I feel like I'm constantly failing. I'm starting to lose the happiness and appreciation I felt for coming this far.
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    Options
    I sometimes deliberately sabotage myself, so I may understand -- to a point. :) That one or two pounds is likely not about how you look but about how you feel about yourself. How much have you lost? Can you celebrate that? :smile:
  • Raptor2763
    Raptor2763 Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    sounds like the thermostat needs to be re-set to the lower weight. this is where persistence is key
  • nvigliotte
    nvigliotte Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    I guess, I don't understand the mindset of being in maintenance. I can't grasp it. What I mean by that I think is I don't understand being in a mindset where you are satisfied with your body. I've never been there.
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    Options
    nvigliotte wrote: »
    I guess, I don't understand the mindset of being in maintenance. I can't grasp it. What I mean by that I think is I don't understand being in a mindset where you are satisfied with your body. I've never been there.

    Ah! That explains it! I understand that completely! Hee-hee! I once stood in a women's clothing store and argued with the saleslady that I could not possibly find anything in the department she recommended that would fit me. Well, I did. And it wasn't their larger clothes either!

    You'll get used to it, then you be celebrating it! :wink:
  • nvigliotte
    nvigliotte Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    Being ashamed of my body has become part of my identity. The idea of suddenly liking it is sort of unsettling. Like, won't that make me conceited? Won't that make me like the people I always made fun of? Wont that make me less relatable?
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    edited June 2016
    Options
    nvigliotte wrote: »
    I guess, I don't understand the mindset of being in maintenance. I can't grasp it. What I mean by that I think is I don't understand being in a mindset where you are satisfied with your body. I've never been there.

    New clothing did it for me!! Go shopping and buy something amazing!!
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Options
    This isn't really sabotage. This is just human nature. We ALL go through this where we have good days and bad days. I'm going through a bad week myself but I've done this before and I just keep my thumb on it and keep on and don't let it get out of control.

  • Jecka987
    Jecka987 Posts: 47 Member
    Options
    I don't think it really applies in this situation (cause one pound either way ain't a huge deal) but if you are interested in self-sabotage there is an excellent book called Thinking Fast and Slow about different brain systems; your rational human brain vs your instinctive, limbic or reptilian brain. Your rational brain is where you set goals, have a coherent sense of identity etc. Your limbic brain keeps you alive, makes you breath, has your fight or flight response and only responds to pleasure v pain decisions. These two systems are actually quite disconnected. What this means in this scenario is when you set the rational goal "Lose weight" and then see cake your limbic systems sees pleasure and goes for it i.e. self-sabotage is the results of an inbuilt part of your operating system. One thing other neuroscience study has shown to help align your limbic system with your rational system is to visualise the pleasure experience of meeting a goal. E.g. when you think about losing weight, what will that feel like, what's a situation that will be really different once you have. For me it's being confident and happy with my friends at the beach. Then you need to visualise that you are there, on that beach, feeling awesome, having a great time, sand under toes, smell of salt, the whole deal. You limbic system can only understand experience, not words, so saying "I'll feel great" to your self won't help, but visualising and therefore experiencing the pleasure response will help align your limbic system to the goal. You can do this daily, or in times when you're reaching for the cake to help redirect your thinking.

    This is something that helps me, in weight loss but with lots of other goals too.
  • kportmanshark
    kportmanshark Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    My final pounds were really hard also. It's like I got close enough where I was a little more casual about the dieting and that slowed things way down. I also started getting hungrier. Those last pounds can be a struggle. You'll get through it.
  • angella_jacobs93
    angella_jacobs93 Posts: 54 Member
    Options
    I have been 15 lbs away form my goal weight for about 6 months. It is frustrating and there is no good excuse for me other than I have also sabotaged myself when I started to feel satisfied by how far I have come. Go back to basics and eat whole foods at your calorie deficit until you drop the last two lbs! Mindful eating and sticking with your workout plan is key. I need to take my own advice!
  • ARGriffy
    ARGriffy Posts: 1,002 Member
    Options
    I totally get this! I was 2lbs away from goal for aaages (a year) sometimes more, but never less! I would work hard, see a scale change, then reward myself but taking a step off the gas and not get any closer! The question is. .. If you were honestly that bothered, wouldnt you continue it? Deep down do you know it actually makes no difference that 1lb so I would make a decision : allow you self to stick at it and get there, or accept your goal is 1lb higher and give yourself a break!!!
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Options
    you do realize that your body weight fluctuate +/- five pounds a day right?
  • Big5BigChange
    Big5BigChange Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    Really interesting Jecka987. Thanks for the summary.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Options
    I have been loosing and gaining the same last 5 pounds for a year.. I think I am at goal.. like @ndj1979 it is the always fluctuating scale..
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Options
    I've got a few lbs left to lose as well. My problem is that I don't want it bad enough. I know what I need to do, but i have no desire to reduce my calories or give up dessert etc etc to get there.

    Maybe change your goal weight to 5lbs less than you are now, unless of course it puts you in the underweight category. Then when you get there the fluctuations will go up and down and around your current goal weight.

Categories