Date decided I was too fat after getting naked

I'm wondering if he got "some" before telling you that.
In either case-what an *kitten*!
Good thing he showed you who he is before you wasted anymore time with him!
You are beautiful and worthy of a man who loves everything about you!
My man (married 42 years) has loved me wholeheartedly in all my physical states!

Whew! Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

I am so sorry this happened to you. That is my nightmare right there, and one of the reasons I don't even bother to date right now. How kind of him to be so helpful by pointing out the various parts that meet with his approval. I would think, statistically speaking, that the chances of 2 guys in a row being that clueless and mean are quite low. And if your profile photo is any indication of the shape you're in, you look great! Good luck with the new guy!

Agreed. Bullet dodged.

Keep in mind that while he saw one small thing that he didn't like, he also showed off one HUGE thing that YOU didn't (and shouldn't!) like - his shallow personality!

*Edit because I'm not through being angry: If he ever contacts you again, hit him where it hurts. Tell him that if he can make an exception for your "fat" stomach, you can make an exception for his small d*%&.

How nice. You thought you were dating a person, and he thought he was dating a collection of body parts. He thought he was falling in love with "you" - really? So he fell in love with your boobs and butt, but the love did not extend to your gut? (Sorry, not making fun of your bod, it just rhymed nicely). What a guy!!! What a catch!!! I think the truly terrible part is telling you he was falling in love with you, but you were too fat for him - just plan old cruel, and I think, intentionally cruel. Please don't think if you lost weight he would then love all of you - he wouldn't. He would find something else to criticize, and then something else, and it would go on and on. Truly, you are lucky he left, but I feel sorry for the next poor woman he dates. I looked at your pictures, you are as cute as a bug, so give yourself a hug and be thankful that he wasn't your husband.

Wow I'm sorry you heard that. BTDT. Not to threadjack but share my story - best male friend for years and we crossed the line during a weekend trip (we took trips as friends sometimes) and has sex. Several times over 2 days. We're in our 40s and there was some ED but not every time. Immediately to him sex means relationship so he's calling every day. Then 2 weeks later he dumps me in an email because it was a mistake and didn't want to ruin our friendship. Two years later I find out (as my wounds healed and I gradually spoke to him again) that my weight was an issue and he wasn't attracted to me that way. So I was OK with being friends as we had a lot in common. During those two years, not knowing weight was the issue, I went from 230 to 175. He compliments how I look and he's dating a very thin woman who is probably also bipolar because he finally can't take it. So we still hang out as friends due to common interests and suddenly he wants to date citing our compatibility. I said I thought he wasn't attracted to me and he says sometimes things change. Yeah, I'm stable, fun and responsible and he just ended a relationship 6 months prior with an unstable woman. I said sure but haven't slept with him and know I need to end it. I know his tastes didn't change - he decided he could settle for me (lights off, maybe?) because we are 90% compatible and I think I also decided he was very compatible. But I think I deserve more than settling. I know that once sex is in the picture, the first time ED is an issue (he's not overweight) I'll assume it's that he can't get it up for ME, not that he can't get it up. I'll worry every time I eat something high calorie or if I gain weight (which I have - that's why I'm here again) that he won't be attracted to me. And I don't want a relationship like that.

We are attracted to what we are attracted to. I don't blame anyone for not being attracted to someone carrying any amount of extra weight just like some prefer blondes or straight teeth or men with hair vs. bald. And I think it's important to not gain a huge amount of weight after marrying someone and creating a physical bait-and-switch. BUT having sex and THEN telling me was the careless part. That guy knew your shape before he saw you naked. That was mean and careless of your feelings and THAT is why he is a *kitten*, not because he has a physical preference. We were attractive enough to get that far but not attractive enough to continue? No way.

I have to say, he is lucky that you let him get away with all limbs attached after a douche maneuver like that.

I am REALLY glad that he did that now, so that you could get as far away from him as possible, NO ONE deserves to be treated like that.

I am REALLY sad that he did that because I 10000% understand what it's like to have someone you're trying to build a relationship with say a super harsh comment about your body. I was told I wasn't womanly and that I didn't have curves, that my body looked like a box (this was at my thinnest weight when I was super self-loathing and didn't think I was thin at all, now I was a box on top of it! These people are just plain ol buttholes!)

Those comments stick with a person for a while, if you let them. Remember, self-love is the way that you will get past this. I have spent a number of years working through my body image issues, teaching myself how to speak more positively about myself and to not compare myself to others. It takes practice and repetition but eventually the self-love masks all those lame moments where we and others say mean things about our physical image.

You're a beautiful person, don't let this creep steal your power

daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »

This is embarrassing.

A couple of weeks ago a guy I'd been dating decided after seeing me naked got the first time that I'm too fat, and he doesn't find me attractive anymore. He did (helpfully) provide a list of the parts of me that ARE attractive (basically everything but my torso). His comments are really messing with my head, especially since I'm not happy with my body and already losing weight. (I've been on MFP for two years now.)

I spend so much time trying to convince myself that having this extra weight doesn't nullify my other good qualities, but he straight up told me it did. He told me he was falling in love with me and that everything else about me was perfect and unique, but he didn't think he could ever be attracted to me again because of the fat.

This has lead to a lot of my friends and relatives remarking, "You're not even that fat."

Annnddddd I'm *kitten* things up with a new guy because I'm all worried about it now. What if he does the same thing?

I'm working out a ton right now.

So, yeah.

That bold part was a lie. If he loved you, he would love everything about you. You deserve better. He's a shallow jerk. Seriously.