Shame - does it hinder or help you lose or gain weight?

I think of that as being ashamed, and don't see that as a big deal. Feeling shame is something more, something that to me tends to be debilitating, not empowering--it spurs me to feel hopeless and worthless and to wallow, not to action.

I had a realization when I saw a photo of myself and was embarrassed by how fat I'd become. Became motivated and determined to lose weight and did. That wasn't shame. Shame was back when I used to hate myself and think I was worthless.

7elizamae wrote: »

I wonder if we are all using the same definition of "shame" here. Many of you seem to use shame as a verb -- people humiliating or harassing someone. I think of "shame" as a a noun -- the sobering realization of my own shortcomings and mistakes.

If I remember correctly, the original context of this thread was regarding the appropriateness of shaming another person in an attempt to make them want to lose weight. It came up in a separate thread about the fat acceptance movement, which tends to decry "fat shaming", and the OP here began this discussion so as not to derail the other thread.

100df wrote: »

JaneSnowe wrote: »

7elizamae wrote: »

I wonder if we are all using the same definition of "shame" here. Many of you seem to use shame as a verb -- people humiliating or harassing someone. I think of "shame" as a a noun -- the sobering realization of my own shortcomings and mistakes.

If I remember correctly, the original context of this thread was regarding the appropriateness of shaming another person in an attempt to make them want to lose weight. It came up in a separate thread about the fat acceptance movement, which tends to decry "fat shaming", and the OP here began this discussion so as not to derail the other thread.

Yes that was where I was coming from with the thread but I appreciate all the discussion around both the verb and noun definition.

It is interesting how people react differently.

Not surprising to me. Shame is used by some to manipulate others, sometimes in very unhealthy ways. I lost a loved one, he was shamed to death. That wasn't the outcome his father imagined, when he used shame to manipulate his son.

I think shame can help keep people slimmer at a societal level. Some societies have a very low tolerance for and accommodation of surplus fat, and I suspect that does impact how much people weigh. It is just one factor, but I think it would be a factor.

I remember shopping in a Paris boutique when I had a BMI of about 22, and over hearing the sales girls sniggering about how fat I was. And I had to take the largest size on offer. Same thing in Japan: if you are big you literally don't fit into seats or toilet cubicles, etc.

It has a negative impact .. no matter how you put it!