Make me laugh

Dar_Line86
Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
edited November 13 in Chit-Chat
It's been a long week who doesn't need a good laugh?? Tell me a joke, a funny story, anything. I'll start...

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
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Replies

  • kate141987
    kate141987 Posts: 513 Member
    oabgqv7x4vut.jpeg
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    kate141987 wrote: »
    Ok this is rubbish but it's all I can think of top of my head
    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef haha

    I'm getting outa here before you fling that coconut at me lol

    I love it!
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    kate141987 wrote: »
    oabgqv7x4vut.jpeg

    I love it even more!
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    Why does a chicken coupe have two doors?

    Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    What is the difference between a booger and broccoli?

    A Kid will eat a booger
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    Riffraft1960 wrote: »
    Why does a chicken coupe have two doors?

    Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan

    HA!
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    Riffraft1960 wrote: »
    What is the difference between a booger and broccoli?

    A Kid will eat a booger

    Gross lol
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

    It's ok, he woke up before the teacher noticed.
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

    One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    You know, the rotation of the earth really makes my day.

    hopefully that's enough groaners to cheer you up a bit.
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    Remembered a few more.

    Did you hear the rumor about butter?

    I would tell you, but I don't want to spread it around
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    What you you get when you cross a rhinoceros and an elephant?

    elephino (hell if I know)
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    What do you call a rabbit who was raised in a house all its life?

    An in-grown hare
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    BTW in case you didn't know, the shovel was a ground breaking invention.
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    Past, present and future walked into a bar.

    It was tense
  • gainerpal
    gainerpal Posts: 43 Member
    edited July 2016
    CnE4YpkWcAEFBye.jpg
  • lenoresdream
    lenoresdream Posts: 522 Member
    This thread is great!
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    Riffraft1960 wrote: »
    Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

    It's ok, he woke up before the teacher noticed.

    Bahaha!
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    gainerpal wrote: »
    CnE4YpkWcAEFBye.jpg

    Yaaaassss! Lol
  • donnyg08
    donnyg08 Posts: 20 Member
    Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?

    A: Meet Patty. ha ha
  • donnyg08
    donnyg08 Posts: 20 Member
    What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker tomato?
    "You better ketchup!"
  • 1stplace4health
    1stplace4health Posts: 523 Member
    Husband: For 50th wedding anniversary we can go upstairs and make love.
    Wife: Ok, but we can't do both.
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    donnyg08 wrote: »
    What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker tomato?
    "You better ketchup!"

    Ha!!
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    1stplace4health wrote: »
    Husband: For 50th wedding anniversary we can go upstairs and make love.
    Wife: Ok, but we can't do both.

    Literally LOL!
  • Justn83
    Justn83 Posts: 5,226 Member
    What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?

















    The taste! They taste different :)
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    edited July 2016
    Justn83 wrote: »
    What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?

















    The taste! They taste different :)

    Eeeew! :smiley:
  • Justn83
    Justn83 Posts: 5,226 Member
    edited July 2016
    Make ME laugh :)
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