Do you get told you don't need to lose weight?

Colorscheme
Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
edited July 2016 in Health and Weight Loss
Background: I have high blood pressure and heart problems due to a rare condition I acquired in my early 20s. I have to take b/p pills [ACE inhibitor] and the max dose of beta blockers. And I have a leaky valve, but it's not serious yet. I also have an ICM implanted in my chest to watch for arrythmias. So because of all this, I see a cardiologist every 3 months just to keep an eye on things

Anyways, I told one of my friends I wanted to lose weight because at my last cardio appt a week ago, my weight was 164 lbs which is a couple of pounds overweight according to bmi. My friend, quiet frankly, is one of those body positive, HAES kind of person and she's obese at the age of 18.

I just said to her that I have heart and bp problems so I think losing weight will help a bit because I'll be putting my body under less strain and maybe it'll help my blood pressure and fatigue. [I already eat a low sodium diet]

And I get it because if you looked at me, you would just think I'm a little busty and didn't need to lose weight, but I have quite a lot of body fat and would like to get down to my pre preg weight of 125 lbs.

So I'm curious....have you been told by others you don't need to lose weight? how did you handle it?
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Replies

  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    I don't get told that because I never bring up my weight or diet with people, so basically not asking for opinions. Someone would have to outright say it on their own, and anyone who knows me wouldn't think to be so blunt as to say something that personal.

    You know what's best for you, and i'm sure your doctor would support your decision.

    Yeah, normally I don't talk about anything diet or exercise related to people, but both her and I are really into fashion/clothing/sewing and I told her that I bought a skirt but it doesn't fit over my thighs and that I hope to fit into it once I lose some weight.
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
    @carmkizzle Haha, if someone said "are you losing weight, you weren't fat" I'd just smile and say thanks :) Which is probably what you did.

    @Colorscheme, now you have the perfect goal garment to try on every week! Aside from that, knowing myself and how my preference is very lean, I've just learned never to bring anything weight or size related up.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    @carmkizzle Haha, if someone said "are you losing weight, you weren't fat" I'd just smile and say thanks :) Which is probably what you did.

    @Colorscheme, now you have the perfect goal garment to try on every week! Aside from that, knowing myself and how my preference is very lean, I've just learned never to bring anything weight or size related up.

    Yeah, I'm using it as motivation! Plus I have a small frame [my wrist is less than 6 inches around] and look best when I look lean. I know my friend wasn't trying to be hurtful and I agree with her that everyone should be confident no matter the size.
  • carmkizzle
    carmkizzle Posts: 211 Member
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    @carmkizzle Haha, if someone said "are you losing weight, you weren't fat" I'd just smile and say thanks :) Which is probably what you did.

    @Colorscheme, now you have the perfect goal garment to try on every week! Aside from that, knowing myself and how my preference is very lean, I've just learned never to bring anything weight or size related up.

    That's exactly what I say :o

  • abitofbliss
    abitofbliss Posts: 198 Member
    All the time! It's more motivation for me to get to my goal so I can think the same thing :)
  • abitofbliss
    abitofbliss Posts: 198 Member
    StaciMarie1974 wrote: »

    And keep in mind that getting healthier is awesome but not everyone is going to celebrate it with you.

    This is awesome. I posted a similar thread about negative comments and this is definitely a good way to think about it. Thanks!
  • abitofbliss
    abitofbliss Posts: 198 Member
    AmberBlamberMamber wrote: »
    If people say that to me, I just say "You haven't seen me naked" and either make it awkward enough for them to shut up, or funny enough that we move on

    HAHAHAA! I say the same thing.
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
    @Colorscheme Just out of curiosity, but why didn't you just tell her according to your bmi, you're over weight and want to be healthy? The reason I ask is because you said she is obese, and maybe she doesn't understand bmi and how it can and does affect health, which applies to everyone. Now that's body positive. However, your condition doesn't, so the idea will be discarded. Just a thought that occurred to me for some reason.
  • abitofbliss
    abitofbliss Posts: 198 Member
    AmberBlamberMamber wrote: »
    abitofbliss wrote: »

    HAHAHAA! I say the same thing.

    Sometimes though, they have... and they say so. So I say "well not today!" And I move on.

    I'm not doing this for anyone else. I'm doing it for ME.

    Haha - Heard that, the worst: "You haven't seen me naked" - "You're right, show me". Middle fingers up!
  • AmberBlamberMamber
    AmberBlamberMamber Posts: 66 Member
    abitofbliss wrote: »

    Haha - Heard that, the worst: "You haven't seen me naked" - "You're right, show me". Middle fingers up!

    Ah yes. The ever so classy "show me" hahaha
  • AmberBlamberMamber
    AmberBlamberMamber Posts: 66 Member
    PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »
    I would take someone upnon that. Not get completely butt naked, but whip out the spare tire and the back boobs, maybe a little thigh action like "you sure I couldn't stand to lose a few more?"

    Hahaha, "whip out" omg.



  • kermax39
    kermax39 Posts: 149 Member
    edited July 2016
    I get this, or I get told I hide it well, or .......but youv got the height to carry it. Im basically still 2 stone overweight maybe 3 if I believed what bmi tells me I should be. I think my weights deceiving to others because im tall and the fat is evenly distributed rather than having obvious problem areas......All I know is im nowhere near what weight I want to be so ill keep going till I feel comfortable with my weight.
  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
    I get it a lot now (still about 10lbs overweight) a group of girls at work are losing weight for some reason or other if we are discussing it I frequently get comments that I don't need to lose any weight (they don't know I have lost 5st already) I just smile or say thanks and then carry on doing what I do, its not for anyone else I'm doing it for me. They are entitled to their opinion but they need to realise I will ignore it lol!
  • rachellynn89
    rachellynn89 Posts: 13 Member
    All time time... but then I also have other people asking me when I'm due. So, there's that.

    Like others have said, consider the source. They're probably just comparing you to themselves.
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    My BMI only ever got up to 25 at my heaviest, and although I never announced I was losing weight or spoke about it, when people around me noticed I got a lot of questions and exclamations about how I wasn't fat. I was 18-19 at the time so it used to get to me. I don't think it would now. You have to be comfortable in your own skin, and for me that's between 19-21 BMI.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I normally do not because I don't talk about weight stuff. However, at the beginner of this year I was talking to a coworker/friend about trying to lose the last 10 pounds. She said that she was trying to do the same (she lost around 50 pounds a couple of years ago too.) We both looked at each other, said "you don't look like you need to lose that much" and then laughed because both of us agreed that the 10 pounds were all "under the clothes" pounds and not visible to anybody else.
  • 5K85
    5K85 Posts: 98 Member
    Nope, never
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Colorscheme wrote: »
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    I don't get told that because I never bring up my weight or diet with people, so basically not asking for opinions. Someone would have to outright say it on their own, and anyone who knows me wouldn't think to be so blunt as to say something that personal.

    You know what's best for you, and i'm sure your doctor would support your decision.

    Yeah, normally I don't talk about anything diet or exercise related to people, but both her and I are really into fashion/clothing/sewing and I told her that I bought a skirt but it doesn't fit over my thighs and that I hope to fit into it once I lose some weight.

    Thanks for sharing the context. In general, I'm especially cautious about discussing losing weight with someone heavier than me, but the circumstances under which you did it make sense.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    I actually get this all the time, whether they know I'm actively losing weight or not. I just always change the subject when it comes to that. I'm 5'9", so my weight is fortunately distributed well, even when I was overweight. That being said, my body fat percentage is higher than what I desire. If they're a bit more knowledgeable with fitness, I often just say that I'm in the middle of a recomposition and they typically understand.

    Essentially, once the conversation ends, they're going to stop caring about my weight or body because it doesn't pertain to them, so I don't let it bother me.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    @Colorscheme Just out of curiosity, but why didn't you just tell her according to your bmi, you're over weight and want to be healthy? The reason I ask is because you said she is obese, and maybe she doesn't understand bmi and how it can and does affect health, which applies to everyone. Now that's body positive. However, your condition doesn't, so the idea will be discarded. Just a thought that occurred to me for some reason.

    I ended up saying I take bp meds and beta blockers and am a few pounds overweight, and losing weight should help me feel better a bit.

    You're right and maybe her perception of health is skewed a bit.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    edited July 2016
    jemhh wrote: »
    I normally do not because I don't talk about weight stuff. However, at the beginner of this year I was talking to a coworker/friend about trying to lose the last 10 pounds. She said that she was trying to do the same (she lost around 50 pounds a couple of years ago too.) We both looked at each other, said "you don't look like you need to lose that much" and then laughed because both of us agreed that the 10 pounds were all "under the clothes" pounds and not visible to anybody else.
    Ugh.. It's easy to hide the 10 pounds under clothes but not in a bikini. I want to be comfortable at the pool!
  • Soy_K
    Soy_K Posts: 246 Member
    It's your body and only you know what feels good and healthy to you. Whether it's that you feel great and happy when you're little chunkier or when you're a bit thinner - I think it's a very personal choice and ultimately your business (not someone else's). They don't live in your body! Unless dealing with disordered eating/serious body image issues I think you should do what you want to do with your body to make yourself feel healthy and confident.

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