advice from men please
Misscarpainter
Posts: 10 Member
in Chit-Chat
how do i tell my b/f that i love him? should i even tell him at all, or should i wait for him to say it first?? and if i say it first, what if he doesnt say it back? do any of you guys have any advice please?
Normally im a rush into a relationship and think about it later kind of girl, and ive paid deeply for making those mistakes in the past..
but not this time, ive really taken my time, moved slowly and got to know this man, i love him, and i just want him to know that.. how do i tell him?
Normally im a rush into a relationship and think about it later kind of girl, and ive paid deeply for making those mistakes in the past..
but not this time, ive really taken my time, moved slowly and got to know this man, i love him, and i just want him to know that.. how do i tell him?
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Way long time ago she stood on her tippy toes and kissed me. It wasn't my idea. I was neither experienced, suave, nor sophisticated at courting a lass. I'm still not. I was not then, and I am not now, unique in that respect. You may have to take some initiative. If he's not good with that, get away from him.4
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Oral is the best way. Just tell him!4
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look in his eyes and tell him. If he loves you too, you'll know. You probably already do know. Life is too short to hold back from telling someone how you feel. Tell everyone whom you love that you love them as often as possible. (when necessary, use words)13
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Personally i think you should tell him...
- you've waited and not rushed in, which is great...
- however if you are saying i love him but only if he says he loves me, or i love him but he needs to say it first...then to be honest that sounds like a condition or a game.
- guys don't like this game playing either
Just be you, say how you feel.
And just to let you in on a little secret...guys are just as nervous about saying it too soon and scaring off the person they like...7 -
What's the rush? Let it happen naturally. If you're asking these kind of questions of yourself, it's not time yet. And if you think you need to say three words to "seal the deal", you're not looking at relationships the right way: the best ones start in friendship and gradually build to the point where you don't even have to say those three words because you both just know it.12
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Men don't play the games over telling you that we love you.
If you love him then tell him. He may already love you back and just simply hasn't thought about telling you yet.1 -
When you are really in love, you'll know when to say it. If you doubt whether he will say it back, then it's not time.5
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Worst thing was telling someone I loved them, and getting no response.
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How many days have you known each other? And does your boyfriend know that he's got a girlfriend?11
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Worst thing was telling someone I loved them, and getting no response.
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More than likely your already showing each other if you love the other one.
When it's real I think you know it before it's spoken.
Also.. I'm really a man7 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »Way long time ago she stood on her tippy toes and kissed me. It wasn't my idea. I was neither experienced, suave, nor sophisticated at courting a lass. I'm still not. I was not then, and I am not now, unique in that respect. You may have to take some initiative. If he's not good with that, get away from him.
Sounds like you're something of an introvert, then, Jerome. Nothing wrong with that at all, especially since most people (including the women) still think it's the guys who should take initiative always, and not all men are cut out to be what society thinks men should be. I think both genders should be free to say whatever's on their mind, regardless of who speaks their mind first. Why should it matter? If one person says "I love you first," and the other feels similarly, where's the problem? If a girl takes the initiative and is the one to kiss a guy first, and he's more than okay with it, and simply kisses her right back, where's the issue?
To Misscarpainter: I'm a female, but as I recall hearing, men find confidence sexy. If you have the confidence to tell him what you feel, and are up front about it, he'll likely be the sort to appreciate it. My mom took the initiative with my dad, because she's like that, and unlike many men of his time, he found that intriguing.
But I'm with Jerome on this one. Take the initiative.3 -
I'm with everyone else, give him oral. He'll just know..7
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Ian_Davies wrote: »Personally i think you should tell him...
- you've waited and not rushed in, which is great...
- however if you are saying i love him but only if he says he loves me, or i love him but he needs to say it first...then to be honest that sounds like a condition or a game.
- guys don't like this game playing either
Just be you, say how you feel.
And just to let you in on a little secret...guys are just as nervous about saying it too soon and scaring off the person they like...
I like how you think, Ian.
I'm okay with a guy saying it first, but the idea that the guy should always, only say it first, lest the girl be perceived as 'too masculine,' too 'take-charge,' has never sat well with me. Not solely because I'm a feminist, but because I think the words "I love you" should be an equal opportunity phrase, both ways.
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Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »Oral is the best way. Just tell him!
The first part of this is solid advice.
I don't understand how the second part is related though.2 -
How many minutes have you two been dating?1
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I was once dating a girl and she said to me: "I love you."
At least that what it sounded like at the time.
I soon realized that she had muttered: " I loathe you."
.... that's kinda different.
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Motorsheen wrote: »I was once dating a girl and she said to me: "I love you."
At least that what it sounded like at the time.
I soon realized that she had muttered: " I loathe you."
.... that's kinda different.
I think the second is more exciting!!!
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Motorsheen wrote: »How many minutes have you two been dating?Motorsheen wrote: »How many minutes have you two been dating?Motorsheen wrote: »How many minutes have you two been dating?
262800.288 minutes and counting0 -
Women always over-think this communication thing, always wanting to figure out "what's he really mean," etc. Guys are simple creatures and we prefer direct and clear communication. If you feel it and want to say it, then say it. And whatever he does or doesn't say in return, just take it at face value. There is no secret code to decipher.7
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MarkusDarwath wrote: »Women always over-think this communication thing, always wanting to figure out "what's he really mean," etc. Guys are simple creatures and we prefer direct and clear communication. If you feel it and want to say it, then say it. And whatever he does or doesn't say in return, just take it at face value. There is no secret code to decipher.
This. I think men, myself in particular, don't understand subtlety. Hints, implication, etc. go right over our heads. Just tell him. If he returns it great, if he doesn't at least you know where he is.3 -
Get me out of 15 year old please1
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If you don't know how to tell someone you love them you probably don't love them. If you are with someone who might be startled to find out you love them you are with somebody emotionally immature.
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To clarify - Love isn't a moment in time. Love isn't some threshold. Emotionally intelligent people recognize love long before it's spoken - because the spoken admission of the feeling is NOT the feeling. The feeling is manifest in day to day living and being beside the object of the love. If I'm ever shocked or surprised by a woman confessing love a couple things would have happened: Firstly, I'd kick myself for my lack of awareness. Secondly I'd be immediately suspicious because If I hadn't felt the love or seen the love I'd assume the love wasn't there. When love exists between a man and a woman - within their relationship, it's easily known; it's felt because the love-feeling permeates every aspect of the connection they share.10
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To the OP. Forcryingoutloud.... Don't tell him anything or he will RUN!1
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Oral is the best way. ....
Honestly. We're simple. Don't hint, don't drop clues. Just flat out tell him.0
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