We broke up because...
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It was too difficult to make eye contact with her when she wore those glasses.0
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He was too focused on trivial matters!0
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She left lipstick stains everywhere...and I do mean everywhere
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We ran out of her flavored lube...0
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he would only make out with my flavored lube0
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She always came home already lubed! 0
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.0
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Her love notes were always empty0
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She didn't understand that she left me speechless!0
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never talked to me, and i need verbal input darnit!!0
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He kept eating all my Nachos0
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she didnt understand my affinity for eating her nachos~0
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All he ever wanted was nachos0
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She said that Taco Bell nachos were better than mine!
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she caught me feeding the dog the food she cooked for me when he refused to eat it0
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His Dog was more complimentary than he was!0
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She ignored me aallll the time0
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she never let me past second base0
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He could never make a Home Run!0
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she said I wasn't swinging with a big enough bat 0
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she wouldn't try on the cat woman costume I bought her0
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He came home with Cat Scratch fever0
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she never came home!0
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He drugged me so I'd forget the way!0
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I caught her flashing the neighbor.0
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