Anyone have any good jokes? I'd like a good laugh right about now. T
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Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.2 -
Sorry, I'm kind of new to this community thing on FP. What does the whole "flagging" mean. How does it happen?0
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P.s. There are some pretty good jokes on here though.0
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Flagged Content, Reported Posts, & Warning Points This will explain flags and how to use them.1
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How do you blindfold an Oriental person?
With dental floss1 -
Pat and Mick sitting on the stairs of their local church
Pat says "I did"
Mick says " you didn't"
Pat - "I'm tellin ya, I did"
Mick - "And I'm tellin ya, ye didn't"
Pat - "I fookin did!"
Mick - "Ya fookin didn't!"
Suddenly the priest comes running out the church and shouts "what's all this swearing about, and on the church steps??"
"Father" says Mick "will you tell Pat that there is no such thing as a 2 foot tall nun!"
"What??" Says the priest "of course not! I have never heard the like!"
"Ha" shouts Mick, turning to Pat, "I told ya, you were shagging a penguin!"3 -
If an athlete gets athletes foot what does an astronaut get?
Missile Toe!
What shakes and lies at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck.4 -
Hahaha! another flag the butthurt is strong on this flagger. Flag this one too lolCutaway_Collar wrote: »Dude, that picture is offensive. They look like random women or friends in a bar and some obnoxious weed made a joke out of that.
There are people here who may look like that. They already feel like *kitten* and they don't need to see fat jokes over and over.
I think you are a funny guy but this one time, it's poor judgement.
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Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...7 -
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During a boozy night out I met a stunning redhead who invited me back to her apartment. She took off her dress and sat on the bed gazing seductively at me and whispered "f*** me with 8 inches and make me bleed"
So I f***** her twice with my 4 incher and punched her in the nose3 -
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Eye-matey!2 -
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Not Sally!0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Dude, that picture is offensive. They look like random women or friends in a bar and some obnoxious weed made a joke out of that.
There are people here who may look like that. They already feel like *kitten* and they don't need to see fat jokes over and over.
I think you are a funny guy but this one time, it's poor judgement.
Thank you, cutaway.1 -
This one is so lame but I love this: termite walks into a bar and asks, "where's the bar tender? "
You get it?! Heh!1 -
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A guy walks into a bar, the peanuts say to him " Your looking good". The Slot machine calls him a "idiot".
The guy asks the bar tender "What's all that about". The bar tender replies "Sorry about that, the peanuts are complimentary and the slot machine is out of order".5 -
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.3
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?4
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Q: How do mathematicians scold their children?
A: “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times …”2
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