Anyone have any good jokes? I'd like a good laugh right about now. T
Replies
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Intrinsicat wrote: »A duck walks into a bar and someone yells "Hey! Your pants are down!"
It's a horrible joke but I love it.
How stupid will I feel when I finally get it? Hmmmm.....2 -
DetroitDarin wrote: »What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
LOL!0 -
I went to the worst zoo in the world. There was only one exhibit with a dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu.7
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jhmomofmany wrote: »I went to the worst zoo in the world. There was only one exhibit with a dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu.
Im useing that haha2 -
What did the snail say when it got on the turtle's back?
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Be sure to tip the waitstaff on the way out.1 -
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
One less drunken Irishman0 -
A polar bear walks into the bar, and the bartender says "what'll you have"
the Polar Bear says "I'll have a Gin...............and tonic"
The bartender say "sure, but I have to ask. Whats with the big pause?"
And the Polar Bear says "I don't know....just always had em"5 -
Two snakes are slithering along.
Snake #1..."Hey, are we poisonous?"
Snake #2..."I don't think so."
Snake #1..."Oh good, 'cause I just bit my tongue."3 -
These are my two very favorite jokes.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.3 -
jhmomofmany wrote: »I went to the worst zoo in the world. There was only one exhibit with a dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu.
What do you get if you cross a shih tzu with a bull dog....1 -
Okay, let me see if I can add a few...here are three classics from a favorite movie of mine. (Can you guess which movie?)
1. Michael: "I know a man with a wooden leg named 'Smith"
Jane: "What's the name of his other leg?"
(it took me most of my life until I actually understood that joke!!!!!)
2. Person A: I've got a cousin who works in a watch factory.
Person B: What does he do?
Person A: He sits around all day and makes faces!
3. A man walks up to a woman's door and knocks. She answers, and the man says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I just ran over your cat. I'd be willing to replace it." The woman says, "That's all very well and good, but how are you at catching mice?"
Here are some others:
1. What do you call a former vice president doing mathematics to a rock music beat?
Al-gore-rhythm
2. A shapeshifting canine kept getting stuck in someone's clothes-washing machine. His new nickname?
"Wash-n-werewolf."
3. A kid was home sick from school and fell behind in her classwork. Just in case, the doctor recommended the kid stay home for another day or two, so the mom went to go get the assignments from the teacher. Upon returning home, she said, "Honey, here's your makeup work. If you're feeling better, get started on it." The little girl goes to the bathroom, and is in there for quite some time. Her mother knocks on the door, saying, "Are you okay?" The girl answers, "I'm fine."
Mom: "Then why are you taking so long?" (opens the door, horrified to see the girl's face covered in her mother's eyeshadow, mascara, etc) "What the heck did you do that for?!"
Kid: "Well, you said it was 'makeup' homework."1 -
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
The wedding was terrible...
But the reception was AWESOME!3 -
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What was Bruce Lee's favourite drink?
WATAAAAAA!!!!0
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