How long did it take you to fully get over your first heartbreak?

bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »

I got my heart broken three years ago, and I still am not over it. He made me so happy, and I have never met anyone I thought was more perfect for me. I still cry regularly about it, and although I've dated others, no one can compare. At this point, do you think it is worth even dating? Do you think that although I think he is perfect for me, I can find someone else someday who I think is equally as perfect (or more)? Should I just accept that he was my true love and try and have a happy life of being single?

What would you guys do, and how long did it take to get over your first love? Did you feel the same way I did, that you would never find anyone as amazing? Getting back together or reaching out to him is not an option, he hates me.

Thanks for your input!

Oh, honey. I haven't read any of the other responses to you yet. I had to stop and answer.

I wish you did not feel this way. You seriously need to let this man who hates you go. You do not need to be imprisoned by someone who hates you. There are so many really great men out there, and you are presently (apparently) restricting yourself, avoiding happiness. You are worth so much more than that. Do you really hate yourself that much?!

I hope someone here gave you some good advice. I am certainly not relationship expert. I don't have any words of wisdom.

Since you asked, however, yes, I've had my heart broken a few times, but I managed to move on. My first heart break was when my first boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver. I admit it: I still think of him, still love him. But he does not dominate my life.

My second heartbreak was when my first husband was killed in a plane accident. We had two children, and I set out to rear them alone, after dating soon became disdainful to me. And yes, I still love him, but I eventually moved on.

I remaried ten years after he was gone. My present husband and I have been married 29 years, and I could not be happier with anyone else. He is so good to me. He loves me and makes sure I never forget that. Bluntly, I have a serious illness -- one that may force me to live a long time with it, that makes me sick almost daily -- and he just stays on, encourages me, loves me. We are both now retired, living 24/7 in the same little house, and we are doing well in that way.

Now, why would you deny yourself similar happiness?