Feeling unattractive?
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Yep I'm ugly, but it doesn't really matter. Lots of others things more important2
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nothing is more important than looks. Outlook, anyway. Outlook on life; outlook on love; outlook on fitness.
I am pretty cute sometimes. But my body still causes me convulsions when I see it. I think there's no way a woman would or could ever be actually turned on by seeing it. It's stupid of me, and makes a lover into a liar - my thoughts make her a liar when she says she thinks I'm hot.
I am broken but I am not beaten. As my body takes shape - more importantly, as my mind gets more-fit - everything else won't matter so much.
But...after I'm done worrying about my looks, I'll probably think my car sucks.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Send him revealing selfies.bearbugbear wrote: »Rejected by my husband most days...yep I feel unattractive right now.
Tried that, nothing.0 -
bearbugbear wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Send him revealing selfies.bearbugbear wrote: »Rejected by my husband most days...yep I feel unattractive right now.
Tried that, nothing.
Do you believe his unresponsiveness has nothing to do with you? Do you suspect he has is own issues which you cannot heal? That kinda thing?3 -
He said he's not attracted to me, never has been. Confidence at an all time low. Anyway, sorry for getting personal, the thread just hit a nerve!0
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Okay Bear. What are your options now? Lay them out and pick one and hang on tightly. Don't lose yourself. When you start to believe you're unattractive because a spouse says so you will have a literal emotional grave to dig-out-of. At least you will if you're like me. I am still 3' down. But I've progressed 3' 7
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Was this the same husband that was asexual?0
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DetroitDarin wrote: »Okay Bear. What are your options now? Lay them out and pick one and hang on tightly. Don't lose yourself. When you start to believe you're unattractive because a spouse says so you will have a literal emotional grave to dig-out-of. At least you will if you're like me. I am still 3' down. But I've progressed 3'
Did you experience something similar? I hope you are ok.0 -
I think I'm reasonably attractive but beginning to think I may be the only one with that opinion..... lol1
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I don't think I'm unattractive, but I do think I'm undateable. In other words, I'm not ugly, but I'm not handsome enough to be seen with in public. 0
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bearbugbear wrote: »
Yeah I can't imagine. Have you tried marriage counseling? Even if he's asexual, he's not psycho. He could make an effort to make you feel loved.3 -
When you grow up seeing/hearing nothing but criticism by family members....of themselves, you, perfect strangers.....you get real comfortable with the idea that even if you were a supermodel, you'd never be good enough.
I know that. Taught to feel shame for being overweight by one parent who was caught in that same cycle herself, and litterally told no woman would ever want me repeatedly by the other parent in some incredibly ill thought out attempt at motivating me to change, so I was kind of destined to not have a high opinion of myself lol2 -
Almost never.0
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FrothyGibblets wrote: »When you grow up seeing/hearing nothing but criticism by family members....of themselves, you, perfect strangers.....you get real comfortable with the idea that even if you were a supermodel, you'd never be good enough.
I know that. Taught to feel shame for being overweight by one parent who was caught in that same cycle herself, and litterally told no woman would ever want me repeatedly by the other parent in some incredibly ill thought out attempt at motivating me to change, so I was kind of destined to not have a high opinion of myself lol
People sure do suck sometimes, don't they? Family is suppose to be the one thing you can turn to. Noticed I said "suppose to"? Frustrating at times!0 -
Bear I experienced something like that for sure.
But I have never been better.
I live in Germany; she lives in Michigan. I still struggle with my petty desire to 'make her PAY!' for hurting me/rejecting me for years on end.
But I have never been better.
I went through anti-depressants, more weight gain and less self-security. Being away from her is the biggest aide to finding my self worth because for me, because of our past, she is toxic; she is my kryptonite. Now - understand I love her still and I truthfully, as much as I possibly can strive to wish and pray for her to have only the best things in life and to find true happiness. But some days I pray a giant cartoon boxing glove pops out of a box and punches her in her big stupid head.
But I have never been better.
Your kids will likely be done no favors living around and learning from a parent or parents who are in misery. My kids - my daughter - she has no idea what romance and love and displays of those things look like. She should have learned them watching me and her mom. As-is I am playing catch up with her - striving to show her things like random-flowers...last-second vacations and stuff. I want to her to have a baseline of the kinds of things that speak love to her - because I was so lost to myself when i was with her mom, I was unable.
But I have never been better.
Leaving destroyed me. Killed me. What killed me worse, however - and you may have to come to this point but I hope you do not - was accepting she rejects me and I am not pleasing to her. Was believing I was less-than, and she was 'more-than', and it was my fault for being so ugly and fat.
But I have never been better. And I will keep telling myself that every day. In fact, that is now my default answer when anyone asks me how I'm doing. I will refuse to speak negativity to myself or about myself. Plenty of others do that for me
In case nobody said so today, bear, you are beautiful.14 -
This thread makes me sad. There's beauty in everyone and everything...ok maybe not a serial killer but I trust there are none posting here.
Screw the naysayers we are all attractive and worthy and super awesome.5 -
There was a time when I hit rock bottom but that's because I was surrounded by idiots who had unrealistic expectations of women. it was my weakness that led me to ruin my self esteem.
I still have my moments, Im not skinny or perfect but I have a good partner who loves me and always makes me feel great about myself.4 -
I'm so sorry you've experienced something similar, it's an awful situation to be in. Your daughter sounds lucky to have you. I have always been very affectionate with my children and with everyone around me but I guess it has been damaged by the rejection and my low self confidence. I have been making a huge effort to be in photos with my children and keep doing fun, spontaneous and silly things with them since I realised I was so subdued.
Thanks for the kind words, it's very nice of you to say.1 -
People sure do suck sometimes, don't they? Family is suppose to be the one thing you can turn to. Noticed I said "suppose to"? Frustrating at times!
Funny thing is as time has gone on I'm much closer with my family and we seem to have an understanding of who we all are, instead of being at odds with each other all the time. The scars of the past still remain of course.
One thing I do think, is we create our own circles to turn to, be it friends, partners, fitness app forums, where ever.
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I've never said this to another man, but "Well done, Frothy" Good post. 1
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Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.0
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PlaydohPants wrote: »
regular killers are beautiful3 -
I'm cute. Not pretty, sexy or attractive; cute. This is not a terrible thing but there comes an age where "cute" doesn't really work anymore. I'm going to go from cute straight to "old" and I'm not terribly thrilled with this. Luckily I've age fairly well so far and I won't GAF by the time I'm actually old.3
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JessicaJS23 wrote: »I hated myself until i was an adult. Now that im in my 30s i *kitten* love me. You couldnt pay me to be anyone else .It helps that i think im good looking. Im deffinatly not every womans cup of tea but im aging better than 90% of people my age. So now its MY TIME to love me and love being me. Dont waste your time feeling bad. Yes there is ALWAYS someone better looking but so what? For every person you see who is so good looking they make you feel bad about yourself there are 5 that look at you and it makes them feel bad. You dont have to be a perfect 10 to be sexy.
My mom always told me that her 30's were the best. She said you develop a idgaf attitude and finally feel comfortable in your own skin. I never really thought she made any sense until I hit 30. I finally feel pretty much what she described and it's great.
This. I couldn't agree more!!1 -
Yes.
I suffer from social anxiety, dispite how confident I seem on here.
I feel your pain.2 -
born_of_fire74 wrote: »I'm cute. Not pretty, sexy or attractive; cute. This is not a terrible thing but there comes an age where "cute" doesn't really work anymore. I'm going to go from cute straight to "old" and I'm not terribly thrilled with this. Luckily I've age fairly well so far and I won't GAF by the time I'm actually old.
I can relate to this. I have never felt particularly pretty, and I'm certainly not "sexy" but I've always been told I am "cute." I honestly try not to focus on it though, I try to be kind to people, and the type of person people want around because I can make them happy, regardless of my physical appearance. I know at some point "cute" will stop being a thing, and my features will not magically become more attractive, so I just focus on being as good of a person as I can.1 -
I do.. all the time.. And when people tell me I look beautiful/sexy/pretty I think they're lying to make me feel better.
So I decided I was gonna be fine with not being beautiful or sexy or pretty, Cause i'm gonna be bloody strong instead and now I am kinda strong although there's always room for improvement.
I find that working out makes me feel better about myself, I find self confidence in being fit2 -
PlaydohPants wrote: »
multiple murderer...get it right2
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