Feeling unattractive?

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Replies

  • diffusechris
    diffusechris Posts: 32 Member
    People feel unattractive all the time I am lucky that I have a face for radio, and while not the best looking or with the biggest muscles. My sense of humour gets me through, it took a long time for me to realise this and not focus on the outward so much. Yes I moisturise and spray Hugo boss on for work, but being a nice person is by far the most attractive quality anyone can have. X

    Ps I am not saying I am a nice person but I do try - until ppl piss me off lol
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I struggled with BDD when I was younger. And it really had an impact on my life. I relate to the others here that decided after a certain age to embrace themselves as they are. I have a healthy functioning body. I realize this even more after a severe medical injury that changed my life (not a good thing). I have a lot to be thankful for. And a lot I can do. So, I do what I want, I enjoy life. Because life is short and you only get one. This is the life I have and I am going to live it. I'm not going to waste it. And I see the positive influence it has had on my daughters. Also a good book is Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.
  • memickee
    memickee Posts: 250 Member
    Meh, I still feel like the fat girl with the big nose. Probably always will, but when I am down to a good weight I feel better about myself.
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    4-5 years ago I was insecure pretty much all the time, even when I was in good shape. Now that I have my BF of nearly 3 years who has reinforced from the start that I'm beautiful no matter what, I've relaxed into my own body a lot. Even when I'm heavier than I'd like (like right now) I still feel cute. My ex was emotionally and verbally abusive and I think that's a huge reason why I was insecure all the time, so I'm happy to have someone supportive now.

    Also finding clothes that I like and that look well, no matter my shape or weight, helps a lot with this. You could be in great shape and wear the wrong size clothes and still look funky.

    My last go around with MFP was focused not so much on my weight and what I saw in the mirror, and that's also helped a ton. Weight is just a number.
  • jonnucke
    jonnucke Posts: 62 Member
    Rejected by my husband most days...yep I feel unattractive right now.

    I am in the same boat, but reversed. She says shes just not interested anymore in anyone...
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
    jonnucke wrote: »
    Rejected by my husband most days...yep I feel unattractive right now.

    I am in the same boat, but reversed. She says shes just not interested anymore in anyone...

    I'm sorry you're in a similar position, that's exactly what my husband says. I hope things get better for you.
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
    _birdie__ wrote: »
    yep i dont think it will ever change

    i'm ok with that though

    like ive lived so long irl as an un pretty girl i wouldn't know how to be any other way
    but you are not an unpretty girl! not at all!
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
    _birdie__ wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    _birdie__ wrote: »
    yep i dont think it will ever change

    i'm ok with that though

    like ive lived so long irl as an un pretty girl i wouldn't know how to be any other way

    whoa. wait. what?

    I just saw this. "Un-pretty" ??

    ....No way, just the opposite; seriously.



    you know i've lost about 85 pounds now and logically i see it but i was fat for my whole life and really fat for like the past 6/7 years so i dont feel it

    irl still have like that 'keep your head down and don't talk to anyone' kinda thing that fat kids have
    ive lost over 250lbs now and I am the same way! the fat mentality never seems to go away!

  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
    I never think of myself as attractive. long time of living obese has mad me this way. now days it seems most woman are intimidated by me, so ive been told a few times. ive lost a lot of weight and added a lot of muscle but since im 6'6" and tatted up I get judged a lot. don't really care either. ill find someone that fits the bill one day!
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    nope. i'm hot.
  • memickee
    memickee Posts: 250 Member
    @brianbgboy Tattoos are hot; especially sleeves. :wink:
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I never think of myself as attractive. long time of living obese has mad me this way. now days it seems most woman are intimidated by me, so ive been told a few times. ive lost a lot of weight and added a lot of muscle but since im 6'6" and tatted up I get judged a lot. don't really care either. ill find someone that fits the bill one day!

    I think you look incredible (and hot!) well done on such a remarkable weight loss, you're a real inspiration.
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
    memickee wrote: »
    @brianbgboy Tattoos are hot; especially sleeves. :wink:
    well thanks! ill take that with a BIG smile!! @memickee

  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I never think of myself as attractive. long time of living obese has mad me this way. now days it seems most woman are intimidated by me, so ive been told a few times. ive lost a lot of weight and added a lot of muscle but since im 6'6" and tatted up I get judged a lot. don't really care either. ill find someone that fits the bill one day!

    I think you look incredible (and hot!) well done on such a remarkable weight loss, you're a real inspiration.
    wow! thanks @bearbugbear I truly appreciate that! I never get compliments ever.. your cute yourself too! ;)

  • mkolie
    mkolie Posts: 16 Member
    No one is unattractive. It's the heart that matters.
  • _birdie__
    _birdie__ Posts: 308 Member
    edited September 2016
    mkolie wrote: »
    No one is unattractive. It's the heart that matters.

    what about that one serial killer that cooked babies and ate them?


    eta: albert fish, werewolf of wysteria, the original boogeyman
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  • _birdie__
    _birdie__ Posts: 308 Member
    _birdie__ wrote: »
    mkolie wrote: »
    No one is unattractive. It's the heart that matters.

    what about that one serial killer that cooked babies and ate them?


    eta: albert fish, werewolf of wysteria, the original boogeyman

    They have unattractive hearts and are therefore unattractive

    "no one is unattractive" is what the man said

    then he said the heart thing

    idk idk

    i still think he might be saying albert fish is attractive
  • Unknown
    edited September 2016
    This content has been removed.
  • _birdie__
    _birdie__ Posts: 308 Member
    _birdie__ wrote: »
    _birdie__ wrote: »
    mkolie wrote: »
    No one is unattractive. It's the heart that matters.

    what about that one serial killer that cooked babies and ate them?


    eta: albert fish, werewolf of wysteria, the original boogeyman

    They have unattractive hearts and are therefore unattractive

    "no one is unattractive" is what the man said

    then he said the heart thing

    idk idk

    i still think he might be saying albert fish is attractive

    Yes but I think we can read into it because he said no one is unattractive it... is the heart that matters...THEREFORE....the heart is what the attractiveness is being gauged upon. I believe he was going on the presumption that MOST people have good hearts and would therefore be attractive people. Which, you and I know is WRONG. People generally suck, so we know that lots of people have no hearts or ugly hearts.... which would make them, according to this guys logic...unattractive people. So he contradicted himself with his original statement.

    i would say most people have locked up their hearts
    or they rusted out
    molded over
    got infected and then sepsis set in

    so their hearts just limp around in this premature geriatric emotional state
    hardened and sickly and unable to love

    but maybe they were attractive hearts at one point in time
    like pink and beating strong and moved to tears when they witnessed animal abuse or felt empathy

    i guess young people with their unbroken hearts are just generally more attractive than old people
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    mkolie wrote: »
    No one is unattractive. It's the heart that matters.

    just remember....


    Beauty is only skin deep

    but Ugly goes clean to the bone.
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  • shrinkpositively
    shrinkpositively Posts: 11 Member
    edited September 2016
    Villae81 wrote: »
    vyxsahf27fc7.gif

    lol Love this.

    Usually, I feel attractive in my own eyes. I have my own body insecurity, especially being the fat girl my entire life, but I've gotten more comfortable with myself over the past few years. Body positivity helps a lot, but I'm still working on it. I try not to compare myself to others, and when I catch myself doing it, I just think about my positives and what makes me happy about myself, and what kind of person I want to be. Comparison really is the thief of joy and will *kitten* you up every time. It's also nice to be able to appreciate other types of beauty without feeling the need to diminish your own. I don't think most people are taught how to do that very well.

    You're beautiful. It's unfortunate that society encourages such low self-esteem and/or confidence. I read something along the lines of, "Loving yourself has become a revolutionary act." I really think that's true, especially if you don't fit society's definition of attractive. But you have to work on that for your own happiness.
  • thenananator
    thenananator Posts: 273 Member
    Makes my heart hurt! Unattractive by whose standards? Oh My GAWD! Girl, look in the mirror and love who you are. F-EM. I mean LOVE what you see. I was in the grocery recently and some d-head behind me line made a comment about the size of me ars......I turned to him, extended my hand and said "yes, I have a huge *kitten* and you are ignorant as F- but glad to meet you" . Shut him fast. Anyway, you have one life, hell, one day really --- so love the hell out of yourself and rock whatever look you have.!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I don't feel attractive or unattractive. That is for others to determine. I like the way I look. My wife likes the way I look. I'm confident enough. I doubt anyone is rating me on some kind of masterlist.
  • Sharsou
    Sharsou Posts: 8,849 Member
    Rejected by my husband most days...yep I feel unattractive right now.

    The real beauty lies within you.. Don't let anyone decide if you are worth something or not!!
  • Sharsou
    Sharsou Posts: 8,849 Member
    Anyone feel unattractive no matter how hard you try

    Are you kidding me!!! No way B)
  • lexi3500
    lexi3500 Posts: 346 Member
    I think myself Pretty but not really I don't know what I think myself anyways
  • girl_inflames
    girl_inflames Posts: 374 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    Was this the same husband that was asexual?

    Yes. We're still together because I love him. We have a family together too. Still, my confidence is shot!

    Asexual people can't really help what they are. I know a couple who are married but the husband is asexual. She has partners/boyfriends. It works out for them pretty well.