Feeling unattractive?

_birdie__ wrote: »

LiftingLady5 wrote: »

_birdie__ wrote: »

LiftingLady5 wrote: »

_birdie__ wrote: »

mkolie wrote: »

No one is unattractive. It's the heart that matters.

what about that one serial killer that cooked babies and ate them?


eta: albert fish, werewolf of wysteria, the original boogeyman

They have unattractive hearts and are therefore unattractive

"no one is unattractive" is what the man said

then he said the heart thing

idk idk

i still think he might be saying albert fish is attractive

Yes but I think we can read into it because he said no one is unattractive it... is the heart that matters...THEREFORE....the heart is what the attractiveness is being gauged upon. I believe he was going on the presumption that MOST people have good hearts and would therefore be attractive people. Which, you and I know is WRONG. People generally suck, so we know that lots of people have no hearts or ugly hearts.... which would make them, according to this guys logic...unattractive people. So he contradicted himself with his original statement.

i would say most people have locked up their hearts
or they rusted out
molded over
got infected and then sepsis set in

so their hearts just limp around in this premature geriatric emotional state
hardened and sickly and unable to love

but maybe they were attractive hearts at one point in time
like pink and beating strong and moved to tears when they witnessed animal abuse or felt empathy

i guess young people with their unbroken hearts are just generally more attractive than old people

You may be on to something. But I believe that is still a choice. We can choose to love and be open to love or we can choose to let our past mishaps to dominate and miss out of something beautiful and magical.

I have good days and bad days; sometimes I look in the mirror, and am amazed at how far I've come in the last two years (80 lbs lost). Then on other days, usually depending on circumstances, or other people's moods, I look at myself, and I just hate what I see, can't find anything to be happy with. Fortunately, the good days now outweigh the bad days.

Iscah13 wrote: »

Some days I look in the mirror and wink and think " ok I can work with this " and then the next day I can look in the mirror and want to grab a paper bag to hide in. On paper bag days I usually end up with pizza and feel better.

I share the same feeling with my self image. I skip the pizza even though I really want it lol. I think the mirror is a liar! you look damn day in and day out in my eyes. im learning that others see us for what we look like as we see ourselves for the person we used to be..

brianbgboy wrote: »

Iscah13 wrote: »

Some days I look in the mirror and wink and think " ok I can work with this " and then the next day I can look in the mirror and want to grab a paper bag to hide in. On paper bag days I usually end up with pizza and feel better.

I share the same feeling with my self image. I skip the pizza even though I really want it lol. I think the mirror is a liar! you look damn day in and day out in my eyes. im learning that others see us for what we look like as we see ourselves for the person we used to be..

It's our stupid brains that lie and try to convince us what we see in the mirror isn't real.

_Sugar_interrupted wrote: »

I never feel attractive TBH. I come off like I do, and plenty of people think I'm totally full of myself, but I struggle with insecurity pretty bad most days.

We are all guilty of self deprecating... despite compliments (which I am really bad at taking), attention from partners, or even strangers. Some days you just feel like a pile of crap. And that's ok, you're allowed to have an ugly day- we all are.

Don't let it make or break you, OP. It's really minuscule in the grand scheme of things- there's far more to life- feeling pretty is low on the totem pole.

Well said, Sugar!

I used to. But I picked up some new clothes, got rid of any that were unflattering, bought a flat iron, and some nice high end makeup... (and some indulgent shoes) and I no longer have that problem. Yes, it took a while to pay that off my credit card, but I get hella mileage off it all.

There's days where I think I look ok or maybe cute. And then I'll find some damn flaw that will completely cancel out that good feeling. It's a daily struggle. Years of not feeling like I'll ever be enough has exhausted me. I often wonder why anyone would want to be with me. It's lame and I hate it.

melmelw03 wrote: »

There's days where I think I look ok or maybe cute. And then I'll find some damn flaw that will completely cancel out that good feeling. It's a daily struggle. Years of not feeling like I'll ever be enough has exhausted me. I often wonder why anyone would want to be with me. It's lame and I hate it.

I feel the same way a lot. like im damaged goods after 20 years of marriage. im changing it now and moving forward with my life! you too are a beautiful woman and im sure you have a lot to offer some lucky man! you shouldn't have to feel like your not enough, you should be overwhelmed with love!

Olay! XD

I think women in particular are taught from an early age that being pretty (and thin) is the most important thing. If you don't feel you fit the norm then your confidence takes a beating.
But being attractive is totally objective. What one person finds attractive in another will differ from another person. And it's tied up in mannerisms/personality/build and a million intangible different things. So stop worrying if you fit Cosmo or VS's representation of what attractive is because it's utter superficial bs designed to make us insecure so we buy more stuff.