This is why people gain weight, and why losing it is so hard.
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I would like to see a listing of the food you ate that tallied 4500 calories.
I just cannot fathom that many calories in a day.
@Resistive Off topic but, if you ask, you get. I'm a 5'5" woman, this was a deliberate day off from my food plan (but not logging) so if you ignore my fitbit adjustment that's all food I scarfed, and I skipped lunch
The_Enginerd wrote: »
Inb4 guy says this doesn't count because of "crap" food.
Ah well I never get anything right0 -
I get ya OP... It's is not easy and yes quite frankly it does suck. I'm still wrapping my head around the idea of "this is my life, I will have to eat well majority of the time". .... Sadly I was not born in a family of skinny people but tubbys that love food and want others to feel love from the food we make. I'm no where near maintenance so I don't even bother looking at what that will look like for me. Just takin' it day by day, best of luck! Know you are not alone
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Wow what a frustrating thread... such good advice throughout only to be poo poohed or dismissed by those who clearly think that loving food and/or being a volume eater is such a unique thing that no one else could possibly relate. Y'all stopped short of saying that everyone else has it easier, but that was certainly the undertone I read.19
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So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.
So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.
I hear you brother - this is essentially why I work out. So I can eat the foods I love!
The funny thing about working out and staying in shape is that is does not appear to be efficient. Our lives are wrapped around convenience and efficiency, but we often end up adding more time by working non-physical jobs, then spending time at a gym to keep in shape.
Start a progressive lifting program. This burns more calories and will make your output far more efficient.
Hang in there - kale and turkey bacon are not acceptable trade offs for longer life.3 -
dannijordan30 wrote: »Wow I could never imagine eating 4500 I would explode haha I even struggle eating 2000!
I think the timeframe in which you eat them and the composition of the food would make serious difference in your ability to eat that much. Like I probably could not complete a 4500 meal in one sitting, but I could eat/drink 4500 in one 24 hour period. I don't think there would be any problem as long as I paced myself.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Wow what a frustrating thread... such good advice throughout only to be poo poohed or dismissed by those who clearly think that loving food and/or being a volume eater is such a unique thing that no one else could possibly relate. Y'all stopped short of saying that everyone else has it easier, but that was certainly the undertone I read.
This
A million times over
We get it
We've all been there
You are no different from anyone else
No we don't love food any less
No it isn't easier for other people
No the world, your genetics, your health is not conspiring to make you and keep you fat. That is your choice. Every single mouthful, every moment of inactivity is your choice
Is it easy to change? Hell no
It is worth it? Most of the time
Do you still pig out or laze around? Occasionally
Does the change feel permanent? Nope takes effort and focus even after 2 and a half years
When you're a healthy weight and happy in your body is life better? Yup ..no two ways about it, it's easier to be in shape than out of it. Moving, walking, enjoying yourself, health niggles, hormone levels, even a lot of serious health conditions are improved by being a healthy weight.
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So before I get into what I'm about to say, I'd like to thank everyone who was constructive towards me while I was having a low moment.
A lot of you gave some great advice, even though I am pretty well versed in weight loss and knew a lot of it already. But here's the thing, I didn't ask for advice. There was no question in my original post. I was just making conversation about how difficult it is going to be to eat a reasonable amount of food once I get to my goal weight. Obviously, I have a problem when it comes to food. For a lot of you its just a thing you do 3ish times a day so you will continue to have energy and live. For me, its almost ceremonious. Eating is not just something I do to survive, its something I thoroughly enjoy. Meal time is something I look forward to for reasons other than hunger. Telling me to just eat healthier/lower calorie/more nutritious/whatever foods is like telling a cocaine addict that he should just smoke pot instead and everything will be alright. It's not a matter of knowing what to do, because God knows I know exactly what to do, its a matter of being able to do it. I'm only on day 12 and I've been doing well so far. There is no reason for me to believe I cant continue what I'm doing for many months. It's after that that concerns me, and once again, its not that I can't, its that I'm having to chose between something I enjoy, and something I need to be healthy. There's no answer, no way to fix it. I didn't ask anyone to help me solve the problem. I was just making conversation about how it sucks.
Also, to the guy who couldn't figure out how I ate 4500 (a rounded number) calories in a day, book this out:
Breakfast - A.M. Sausage Crunchwrap from Taco Bell
Lunch - 5 Krystals and a Chili Chese Fry from Krystal
Afternoon Snack - King Size Kit-Kat and 16oz Red Bull
Dinner - Cajun Chicken Pasta from Chili's
Throughout the day (including at meals)- About 80oz of Coke
If you are thinking about saying "well surely you don't eat the same thing ever day", no, but similar. And I did drink about the same amount of coke every day and eat a candy bar (sometimes a Mounds or a Twix) and a Red Bull every day.
Again, I'm not asking you for help, I'm just making conversation about how much it F#*$&%@ sucks.
So this thread was a gigantic waste of everyones time then.
What a shame.
Either the OP's intent should be respected, and those should stop telling him how to eat, OR
the forum gets to use the OP's situation as their pet project to educate the "lurkers" (which would imply that it was not a "gigantic waste of everyones [sic] time").
You can't have it both ways.8 -
dannijordan30 wrote: »Wow I could never imagine eating 4500 I would explode haha I even struggle eating 2000!
I am with you. At 1450 cals max and sometimes not even reaching that number, I am already stuffed. I would puke and be sick for days if I ate that much.1 -
I can relate a lot to your situation. I'm 5' 6", I was 210 lbs, and had a 40" waist. I'm 40 years old now. I lost 65 lbs by managing my calories and 30 min on an exercise bike 6 days a week. Down to a 30" waist. Took about 18 months to do that. I've since put on 15 lbs of muscle so at 160 lbs now (which took way longer than losing weight). I've kept that weight off of 3 or 4 years now. Food I liked was as you described, fried, cheese, sauce, etc. I didn't cut anything out completely, but I cut way back on portions and frequency. Loaded up on good stuff - I think that's the key. Find ways of substituting good stuff in the foods you like for the bad while sacrificing as little flavor as possible. Ground turkey has a lot less fat and calories than ground beef. Fish is a great lower calorie protein source as well. Also, my cravings for all those "bad" foods actually diminished a lot. When you eat too much of the salt, fat, sugar, etc., you crave it so much more, it's like a flavor addiction. When you eat less of it and less often you seem to crave it less. At least that is how it has been for me and several other people I know that have done the same.2
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dannijordan30 wrote: »Wow I could never imagine eating 4500 I would explode haha I even struggle eating 2000!
I am with you. At 1450 cals max and sometimes not even reaching that number, I am already stuffed. I would puke and be sick for days if I ate that much.
The thread was really not about how much someone cannot eat without puking. And what does it add to the thread anyway? Someone else might eat 1450 calories and puke, but who cares. I have been eating around 1800 calories for the past year and a half. Obviously everyone is different . Really if you have nothing positive to say then why add a comment that is pointless and useless.4 -
I'm not saying that I can't eat 1900 calories every day, I'm just saying that, and no offense and its nothing personal, nothing on that list looks very good to me at all. I mean I am willing to eat all of those things, I'm not a picky eater, but its not what I want. I find happiness in food that taste good, things that are fried, things that have a lot of cheese and/or creamy sauces, I like soda. That's where its so hard. I'm not saying I can't do it, I'm upset because I know I'm not going to be happy doing it.
@jdb3388 Hey! Have you thought about attending healthy eating cookery classes?
Also, if you like fried stuff, what about buying one of those low fat fryers? They only require one spoonful of oil and can be used for many different dishes... you could use rapessed oil... Try buying light cheeses, Leerdammer and many other brands have lighter versions... as well of low calories sauces.
But to be honest, you could get used to anything. I used to take my coffee with two or three teaspoons of sugar + full fat milk instead of water. I started cutting down and now I can drink black coffee without milk or sugar and it tastes nice to me...2 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »I have always counted calories daily, but I've read that some people say weekly is the way to go. Do any of you guys kinda not really worry about daily and concentrate on weekly? Eating heavy one day and light on another day to make up for it?
This is exactly what I do. I will probably eat 3500 calories today but balance it out over the week. And I'm in a deficit.
I tried something very similar to that once, but it didn't work out because I was still in a deficit. There were days where I would eat less than 500 calories some days in order to eat what I wanted other days. It came out to about 7K surplus for the week overall. So it is worth repeating this point: something that works for you might not work for those of us who have bigger appetites. For some of us, this plan doesn't help eliminate both hunger and weight, which is really the problem OP expects to encounter (and a problem I'm already encountering as I get closer and closer to goal).
Here is how that works for someone like me: I'm hungry all the time anyway, whether eating 500 or 1,500 or 2,500 calories... so no difference on most days. On some days, though, I can eat as much as I want and am not hungry. So then it is a matter of figuring out how often to have a day where I can eat as much as I want and still lose weight, and how much I can eat on other days. So figure 10K calories is what it takes to satisfy me in a day. If I do that once every 10 days, I can still keep an average deficit of 250 calories per day (1/2 lb. per week loss on average) as long as I eat 500 calories the other 9 days. For 9 days, I'm hungry no matter what, but at least once every 10 days, I am not hungry because I can finally eat. Of course this is a terrible idea and I'm not suggesting it. I just want to illustrate why those last few lbs. are so hard to lose for those of us with big appetites and a decreased RMR. Your weekly average idea is a daunting suggestion that is probably great for those with mediocre appetites, but not so great for others.
Well, it doesn't work for you because you didn't maintain a deficit. I guess I'm lost on the point here?
Aiming for a weekly deficit works if you remain in a deficit. You can have an equal distribution of that deficit across every day or you can vary your deficit each day (a surplus of 800 calories above goal can be balanced by 4 other days being 200 calories under your goal). But just because you say you're going to eat low on two days and then don't bother sticking to a weekly deficit, of course that's not going to work.
There are lots of different strategies to help people stay in a deficit. All of them are valid, but not all will work for every person.
Which is why it is repeated over and over again on these boards to find what works and helps you hit your calorie goal.2 -
cmriverside wrote: »LiminalAscendance wrote: »Again, I'm not asking you for help, I'm just making conversation about how much it F#*$&%@ sucks.
Yeah, quite often the responses here are meant to illuminate the hordes that are scrambling aimlessly in ignorance, and aren't really attempting to address the OP.
Don't take it personally.
God forbid we try to help when the post is made in the forum "general weight loss help". It's not like this is the motivation section...
This. If it was posted in the Motivation/Support thread maybe you would have gotten the responses you wanted. The Help thread is usually for people looking for help. And is often frequented by lurkers who are not the OP and also looking for help.
FYI, OP I enjoy my food too. I don't just eat because I'm hungry - food is one of the great joys of life. But I have taken the last couple of years and learned how to structure my diet so that I don't have to think too much, I don't have to spend too much, I definitely LOVE what I eat, and I'm at the correct calorie level too. With all due respect, if all you're eating is a lot of fast food, candy, and soda, experimenting a little with food will get you to a diet that is WAY more yummy and with WAY less calories. You aren't prioritizing delicious food, you're prioritizing convenience.
Sorry I couldn't commiserate, but best of luck.
I wasn't going to respond to this when I read the first paragraph, but since the second one was so ridiculous I'll go ahead and hit both.
I understand there are lurkers, and I understand that the people who were trying to help maybe weren't talking to me but just everyone in general, and I respect that. I even appreciate it, because we can all always stand to learn something new. It's the people who were being pricks that I'd like to give a big "F#&$ YOU!" to.
Now about this deal of prioritizing convenience over delicious food, you couldn't possibly be more wrong. You don't get to decide what is delicious to me, or anyone else, in the same way I don't get to decide on that for you. I eat a lot of different kinds of food, from cheap fast food, to standard sit-down style restaurants, to homecooked meals, to 5 star cuisine, and I'll tell you right now, I'll take a greasy plate of french fries smothered in cheese and chili and bacon and ranch dressing over a pretty piece of steak or chicken or fish and greens any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. I don't care about convenience. I enjoy cooking, which is another thing that everyone in this topic seems to think just doesn't happen when people eat a bunch of bad food. I can make a 2000 calorie dish as well or better than any restaurant can.
Your choice.
Continue to eat like you have been ~~>> remain the over weight man you have been.
Eat better 80% of the time ~~>> lose weight - finally. After years of struggle.
It is so worth it to make these changes. Is it a perfect world (according to jdb) ~~>>No.
No one here really has any say in this. It's your life. Stay big. Your choice. ::shrug::
I disagree. Continue like he has been and he will be an overweight corpse long before his time.
For the OP, you're in your 20's. Have you ever seen anyone age 60 that eats like you? Most likely not since they've been dead 10+ years. Clean up your habits food and exercise wise while you're young.
Best of luck.4 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Wow what a frustrating thread... such good advice throughout only to be poo poohed or dismissed by those who clearly think that loving food and/or being a volume eater is such a unique thing that no one else could possibly relate. Y'all stopped short of saying that everyone else has it easier, but that was certainly the undertone I read.
This
A million times over
We get it
We've all been there
You are no different from anyone else
No we don't love food any less
No it isn't easier for other people
No the world, your genetics, your health is not conspiring to make you and keep you fat. That is your choice. Every single mouthful, every moment of inactivity is your choice
Is it easy to change? Hell no
It is worth it? Most of the time
Do you still pig out or laze around? Occasionally
Does the change feel permanent? Nope takes effort and focus even after 2 and a half years
When you're a healthy weight and happy in your body is life better? Yup ..no two ways about it, it's easier to be in shape than out of it. Moving, walking, enjoying yourself, health niggles, hormone levels, even a lot of serious health conditions are improved by being a healthy weight.
Then why don't you get the F#&$ off of my thread instead of continuing to come back for 10 pages worth of posts just to complain. Most of us are having a conversation and a few of yall are just acting like @**holes.
I think you need a friend.
7 -
It doesn't suck. YOU have an attachment to food that you clearly don't want to give up. I get it. I do. That is why Keto works for me. Sugar in all it's forms just makes me want more, and so I binge. Going very low carb I get to enjoy cheese, meat, cream, oils, and not feel like I'm missing out.So before I get into what I'm about to say, I'd like to thank everyone who was constructive towards me while I was having a low moment.
A lot of you gave some great advice, even though I am pretty well versed in weight loss and knew a lot of it already. But here's the thing, I didn't ask for advice. There was no question in my original post. I was just making conversation about how difficult it is going to be to eat a reasonable amount of food once I get to my goal weight. Obviously, I have a problem when it comes to food. For a lot of you its just a thing you do 3ish times a day so you will continue to have energy and live. For me, its almost ceremonious. Eating is not just something I do to survive, its something I thoroughly enjoy. Meal time is something I look forward to for reasons other than hunger. Telling me to just eat healthier/lower calorie/more nutritious/whatever foods is like telling a cocaine addict that he should just smoke pot instead and everything will be alright. It's not a matter of knowing what to do, because God knows I know exactly what to do, its a matter of being able to do it. I'm only on day 12 and I've been doing well so far. There is no reason for me to believe I cant continue what I'm doing for many months. It's after that that concerns me, and once again, its not that I can't, its that I'm having to chose between something I enjoy, and something I need to be healthy. There's no answer, no way to fix it. I didn't ask anyone to help me solve the problem. I was just making conversation about how it sucks.
Also, to the guy who couldn't figure out how I ate 4500 (a rounded number) calories in a day, book this out:
Breakfast - A.M. Sausage Crunchwrap from Taco Bell
Lunch - 5 Krystals and a Chili Chese Fry from Krystal
Afternoon Snack - King Size Kit-Kat and 16oz Red Bull
Dinner - Cajun Chicken Pasta from Chili's
Throughout the day (including at meals)- About 80oz of Coke
If you are thinking about saying "well surely you don't eat the same thing ever day", no, but similar. And I did drink about the same amount of coke every day and eat a candy bar (sometimes a Mounds or a Twix) and a Red Bull every day.
Again, I'm not asking you for help, I'm just making conversation about how much it F#*$&%@ sucks.
If anyone beforehand hasn't suggested you see someone for help with this obsession and adulation of food, then I highly recommend it.
It took me severely injuring myself from simply picking my son up from his crib to wake up and see how big I'd gotten. Ovarian cysts, everything in my body was begging me to change.
This is NOT just a few months. This is YOUR LIFE. ENTIRELY.
3 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Wow what a frustrating thread... such good advice throughout only to be poo poohed or dismissed by those who clearly think that loving food and/or being a volume eater is such a unique thing that no one else could possibly relate. Y'all stopped short of saying that everyone else has it easier, but that was certainly the undertone I read.
This
A million times over
We get it
We've all been there
You are no different from anyone else
No we don't love food any less
No it isn't easier for other people
No the world, your genetics, your health is not conspiring to make you and keep you fat. That is your choice. Every single mouthful, every moment of inactivity is your choice
Is it easy to change? Hell no
It is worth it? Most of the time
Do you still pig out or laze around? Occasionally
Does the change feel permanent? Nope takes effort and focus even after 2 and a half years
When you're a healthy weight and happy in your body is life better? Yup ..no two ways about it, it's easier to be in shape than out of it. Moving, walking, enjoying yourself, health niggles, hormone levels, even a lot of serious health conditions are improved by being a healthy weight.
Then why don't you get the F#&$ off of my thread instead of continuing to come back for 10 pages worth of posts just to complain. Most of us are having a conversation and a few of yall are just acting like @**holes.
If you're not ready, you're not ready. I had dozens of false starts and now I'm 25lb down. Just have to wait till you are. Not a criticism, change is freaking scary. But @Sued0nim and @WinoGelato are some of the people I've found consistently helpful. As I've seen before, pick your hard.9 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »I have always counted calories daily, but I've read that some people say weekly is the way to go. Do any of you guys kinda not really worry about daily and concentrate on weekly? Eating heavy one day and light on another day to make up for it?
This is exactly what I do. I will probably eat 3500 calories today but balance it out over the week. And I'm in a deficit.
I tried something very similar to that once, but it didn't work out because I was still in a deficit. There were days where I would eat less than 500 calories some days in order to eat what I wanted other days. It came out to about 7K surplus for the week overall. So it is worth repeating this point: something that works for you might not work for those of us who have bigger appetites. For some of us, this plan doesn't help eliminate both hunger and weight, which is really the problem OP expects to encounter (and a problem I'm already encountering as I get closer and closer to goal).
Here is how that works for someone like me: I'm hungry all the time anyway, whether eating 500 or 1,500 or 2,500 calories... so no difference on most days. On some days, though, I can eat as much as I want and am not hungry. So then it is a matter of figuring out how often to have a day where I can eat as much as I want and still lose weight, and how much I can eat on other days. So figure 10K calories is what it takes to satisfy me in a day. If I do that once every 10 days, I can still keep an average deficit of 250 calories per day (1/2 lb. per week loss on average) as long as I eat 500 calories the other 9 days. For 9 days, I'm hungry no matter what, but at least once every 10 days, I am not hungry because I can finally eat. Of course this is a terrible idea and I'm not suggesting it. I just want to illustrate why those last few lbs. are so hard to lose for those of us with big appetites and a decreased RMR. Your weekly average idea is a daunting suggestion that is probably great for those with mediocre appetites, but not so great for others.
Well, it doesn't work for you because you didn't maintain a deficit. I guess I'm lost on the point here?
Aiming for a weekly deficit works if you remain in a deficit. You can have an equal distribution of that deficit across every day or you can vary your deficit each day (a surplus of 800 calories above goal can be balanced by 4 other days being 200 calories under your goal). But just because you say you're going to eat low on two days and then don't bother sticking to a weekly deficit, of course that's not going to work.
There are lots of different strategies to help people stay in a deficit. All of them are valid, but not all will work for every person.
Which is why it is repeated over and over again on these boards to find what works and helps you hit your calorie goal.
The point was that there is no mathematical way for some of us to have both a deficit (daily, weekly, etc.) and to not be hungry. For people who can be satisfied with 800 calories over, that might work. For some of us, though, the number of calories it takes to really be satisfied is too many to balance out over a week's time.2 -
stevencloser wrote: »2 and 3) Healthy BMI is a range for a reason. A really broad range. 30 to 55 pounds wide from short to tall people. You think he actually looks skinny as hell 45 pounds before someone who is exactly the same height as him would be considererd too skinny by BMI?
To your second question, yes. Picture competitive shot putter/discus thrower. Imagine them shedding weight to get to 190 pounds at 6'1. Suffice it to say, muscle is coming off. They'll look wrong and unhealthy. Maybe you don't like "skinny" as a descriptor for it. I don't know of a better word.
To your first point, BMI damn well better be a broad range. It compares a 2-dimensional property with a 3-dimensional property. In other words, it pretends taller people aren't also broader in order to maintain proportion (in terms of frame not in terms of fat).
And since we're way off topic and neither of us is convincing the other, I'm done.0 -
I have had exactly the same thoughts over the years as I was trying to lose weight. I'm older and dealing with joint pain that keeps me from doing things I used to really enjoy. My overeating is deeply rooted from childhood -- associated with friends and family and socializing. Also food has been my buddy when I am stressed or bored. Over the years I have eliminated most of my "go to" foods because I just don't desire them anymore. My tastes have changed because my eating habits have slowly morphed to healthy choices. Soda used to be a mainstay, now I can't drink it. Don't underestimate the benefits of changing your eating habits now while you're young.4
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I'm somewhat in the same boat OP. I sincerely miss eating a sleeve of chips ahoy and a giant glass of milk...every night. Sometimes thinking of never doing that again makes me sad, angry and resentful. Walking by the damn things at work 8x a day pisses me off...a lot.
For *me, I've not settled on a final goal weight at all. For now I'm just losing until it sucks too much. Then I'll maintain there for a while and decide again. I think that point will be around 180-ish. Still fat. But not as fat as 248. Shrug. I'm not chasing perfection.3
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