Ashamed about my judgment

A high percentage of people gain the weight back my father in law did because they don't address the issue that caused the problem. And any one that goes on a almost liquid dit for a mouth would loss vast amounts of wight.the best thing to do is look at it this why hard work pays off and you want forget what it took to get there.so you will want to keep it off so you don't have to do the work again. In my opinion that is

The check she wrote was quite large, and most of us would take several years of extraordinarily more difficult than weight loss patience to save that much money. My married and well-paid daughter had a surgical procedure to promote weight loss. I think it was a lap band. It was just a check for her, leftover cash. I have never contemplated surgical intervention for myself. In July I saw her, about a year after her procedure, and 6 months into my journey. She's not losing as fast as I. Just because money can be spent is no guarantee that it will be spent well. As you yourself say, the first check she wrote turns out to have been wasted money. Life is several years in sequence and with your neighbor's lack of self-discipline the second check is likely to prove wasted money also. Your mind is far more powerful than her check-book. Use it.

Use it as inspiration. Motivate yourself. Even if it seems easy for others, we don't know their struggles. I'm sure her journey hasn't been easy. Enjoy yours!

I lost my weight the old fashioned sweat and calorie way, but at the same time, I don't believe the operation route is easy either. I know a couple of women who had it. One gained it all back and more, as so long in deprivation meant she couldn't sustain it. The other has lost her weight but at the expense of pleasure of food, and stomach/toilet issues.

You neighbour might look as if she has it easy, but from what I've seen of people living it, writing a cheque isn't as easy a road as outsiders looking in think. They just rarely mention the difficult bits of it, because they've spent so much money and justifying that is key for their success. There are also so many things that can go wrong with operations and infections.

I've lost my weight and am now living a whole new lifestyle. We all choose our own paths to weight loss. None of them are easy. As someone else wrote, you do you. If she's so overweight, and you only have 40lbs to lose, the stakes aren't equal. I'd probably have been secretly jealous of you when I was huge. Swings and roundabouts. I don't get jealous now. I'm master of my own destiny in weight loss and so are you. If you're ready for your journey, you'll find the motivation. Why not try some workout plans and include your neighbour. This is tough for her too, but just in different ways that it's tough for those of us who change our lifestyle to do it.

Good luck, and I hope you can work it out.

WLS is not all rainbows and sunshine. Although she is happy with her weight loss now, some permanent changes have happened to her body with permanent side effects and different kinds of restriction. She just chose a different hard even if she doesn't feel it yet. Keep on doing what you are doing and know that both routes require habit modifications, the only difference is that these modifications are mechanically forced in case WLS and you don't have a choice not to make them because not following the recommendations would make you very uncomfortable. In the long run, after you both lose the weight you need to lose, she is left with possible persistent health side effects like bile reflux and malnutrition and possible transient side effects like bowel obstruction while you will be free of these oddities. Don't envy her or think that she chose the easy way out, she just chose a different way out that carries its own challenges.

I can relate to this 100%! My middle sister had WLS nearly 2 years ago and I have watched as she has been able to lose a massive amount of weight. She is a breast cancer survivor whose body had been pummeled by chemo and various other drugs. Her body just became completely unperceptive to any efforts she made to lose the weight she gained through her treatment. Her doctor recommended the surgery as a drastic step to get her to lose weight and reduce her chance for a cancer recurrence. The sister side of me completely supports this. It was the right choice for her. I know in my brain that this has not been easy for her. BUT. I started my WL efforts nearly a year ago and had lost over 40 pounds, recently regained a few pounds and am getting ready to tackle the last 50 pounds I need to lose. During my WL, not a single person ever noticed the changes I was trying. Everyone raved about my sister and how fabulous she looks. She does. She has beautiful collar bones, she can share clothes with her daughters, she moves easier, she is a skinny, blonde haired, blue eyed, sparkly girl. I stand next to her and disappear. I feel disappointed in myself and how I look - despite the GREAT accomplishment of weight loss I have achieved. I have moments that I try to avoid being photographed with her because I don't want to be the fat sister. I feel completely inferior next to her. It is really difficult to stay focused on my own accomplishments, but, I continue to try. I continue to try and see the great things I accomplish the "old fashioned way" and try to keep in mind that I would not want to spend the rest of my life only eating maybe a half cup of food every meal or not be able to sit down with a couple glasses of wine. I try to remind myself that I still can have the joy of food (in moderation of course) whereas she really can't. It's definitely not easy at all though.

Thanks for stating this thread. I try to talk to others about how I feel and people just don't seem to get it. It is comforting to know I am not the only one that struggles with feeling this way. All the comments here have been extremely helpful and encouraging! Take care and keep fighting your way down the scale.

But here you are taking a very hard look at your own attitude and making some difficult admissions. Not everyone is able to do that. That is a great starting place!

JenniferNoll wrote: »

It's unfair to be resentful of those who have WSL. It is not an easy way out. I will be having a gastric sleeve done in a couple of months after spending 30 of my 40 years on a perpetual diet. I have gained/lost the same 20 or so pounds for those 30 years. I have exercised consistently and have endurance that freaks out my personal trainer.

Working for so hard, for so long without results is soul-sucking and miserable. I'm not talking about 25 pounds I need to lose. It's closer to 100. I'm on the smaller end of people who elect to have this surgery, but within a 6 month period, it was suggested by my ob/gyn due to my increased risk of breast cancer. It was suggested by my PCP due to my blood pressure and sleep apnea. It was suggested by my GI doctor because I have fatty liver syndrome and much of the weight I carry currently was gained while on prednisone. Weight gained on prednisone is exceptionally hard to lose.

The point is that these surgeries are not made lightly. There is a lengthy process leading up to the surgery to prove that the patient will be able to be compliant with doctors' orders. Then the surgery itself is painful, requires a hospital stays, and has a sometimes lengthy recovery period. After that, the patient has to start out with clear liquids, no more than 4 ounces at a time. It is many weeks before the patient is able to have "real" food, with restrictions. No bread, no soft drinks, no pasta, no drinking through a straw.

Then there are the psychological issues that follow. Some people go nuts with the attention they receive. Some people leave their spouses because they are suddenly aware of other options. Some people gain back the weight because they never deal with the underlying issues that led to their weight gain in the first place.

These are people who are struggling day to day just like any other dieter, and must continue the struggle every day for the rest of their lives. They just do it in a different way.

Yes, if you read carefully through you'll see that people are struggling with feelings they know are unfair or unhelpful. Most of these posts are trying to be both honest and kind which is a difficult combination sometimes.

I too have a friend who I semi-resented. She started taking phentermine and dropping weight ....as I worked on meal planning, weighing every spec and walking on my lunch breaks. Im not sure I was resentful she is my best friend- but maybe more eye rolling and shaking my head. I scoffed at her choices as opposed to patting my back that Im doing it on my own. Slower, but longer lasting.
Certainly my cheers for her weekly weight loss updates each Monday AM weren't deeply heartfelt as I thought of it as cheating in a way... taking the easy way out.
But then I came around and realized my thoughts were just poison to myself and her choices are hers and mine are mine. So I genuinely wished her all the luck and kept on trucking.

I also have a friend who had WLS- lost and regained- and dont envy her at all. That is NOT the easy way out and never a choice I would want to have to make; for vanity or health.

Your journey is yours. Letting the success of others steal your joy is only going to set you back. Jealousy or resentment only changes your mood and your outlook on the process. Save your energy for yourself.