Feeling Uncomfortable in the Gym
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Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?1 -
A) I wonder if you took a tour of the gym before you joined to see if it was a place you'd be comfortable in.
No one is paying attention to you
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And I get that no one was paying attention to me. They were all focused on their workout I'm sure. The problem was that I was paying too much attention to myself. I wasn't comfortable with MYSELF. Thanks for the reply.2
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And I get that no one was paying attention to me. They were all focused on their workout I'm sure. The problem was that I was paying too much attention to myself. I wasn't comfortable with MYSELF. Thanks for the reply.
I think I misinterpreted your original post slightly. Just do whatever you are comfortable with. Self confidence takes time and effort to build up but you'll achieve your goals if you stick with it
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Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
oh no! Is that against the rules too?2 -
Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
I do rows in the rack, but only because I am literally the ONLY person who ever uses the rack for anything. It's weird (at least at the time of morning that I go).
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Congrats on losing 110 pounds, that's amazing!! You should be very proud. Try not to be so hard on yourself... you absolutely do belong in a gym. The thing is, those girls taking selfies aren't always so secure either. Sometimes they look at each other the same way you describe, wishing they could be fitter, flatter stomach, whatever. (And then some of them still go photo edit their own pics before they throw them on social media!!) Everyone's journey is so different and it's hard, but you just have to focus on your own and do your thing. You are a beautiful girl. I do find some gyms to be friendlier than others. I love studio classes where it is a bit of a community feel and a social aspect. You meet new people and have others supporting each other's goals. I feel like the focus is less on appearance and more on performance. Hang in there and be proud of what you have accomplished, not down about where you are at. We are all a work in progress.
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@trigden1991 Thank you so much. I'm working on my self confidence daily. Trying to learn how to look at myself and see my progress instead of how far I have to go.
Again, thank you! 2 -
deluxmary2000 wrote: »Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
I do rows in the rack, but only because I am literally the ONLY person who ever uses the rack for anything. It's weird (at least at the time of morning that I go).
I have seen many do them there and usually nobody is waiting. My gym is small and you can't do them out in empty floor space because there isn't much available.2 -
Don't let yourself be intimidated by what other people look like. You are there for one reason that's to workout not socialize. Most people feel the same way about that. I've gone to the gym off and on for years. Sometimes my belly is flat some times it sticks out but I am busy working out and that's all I think about.2
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deluxmary2000 wrote: »Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
I do rows in the rack, but only because I am literally the ONLY person who ever uses the rack for anything. It's weird (at least at the time of morning that I go).deluxmary2000 wrote: »Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
I do rows in the rack, but only because I am literally the ONLY person who ever uses the rack for anything. It's weird (at least at the time of morning that I go).
I have seen many do them there and usually nobody is waiting. My gym is small and you can't do them out in empty floor space because there isn't much available.
ahhhh weird. I workout in my basement, didn't know if there was something I was missing - the gyms I've worked out at usually had popular racks. I would have imagined stares0 -
deluxmary2000 wrote: »Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
I do rows in the rack, but only because I am literally the ONLY person who ever uses the rack for anything. It's weird (at least at the time of morning that I go).deluxmary2000 wrote: »Congratulations on your weight loss! That's awesome. I say give it another try. Those barely dressed women, if taking selfies, are really more worried about how they look than what you're doing. You can do it! I started at the gym at over 300lbs. I've lost 113 so far and I'm a very self-conscious person so it took courage to start on the cardio and in the past 5 months going into the weight room with the buff dudes.
I have a little something to tell you.....the other day this girl wearing the same shorty shorts you're talking about comes in the weight room. Picks up the 10lbs dumbbells, she's doing her thing...while I stand in the rack beside her doing a bentover barbell row of 100lbs! She may be pretty and skinny but I got some muscles under my skin! I felt awesome. You will too!!! Give it another shot!!
Wait, why were you doing rows in the rack?
I do rows in the rack, but only because I am literally the ONLY person who ever uses the rack for anything. It's weird (at least at the time of morning that I go).
I have seen many do them there and usually nobody is waiting. My gym is small and you can't do them out in empty floor space because there isn't much available.
ahhhh weird. I workout in my basement, didn't know if there was something I was missing - the gyms I've worked out at usually had popular racks. I would have imagined stares
People do them in the rack and my gym, not all the time, but if the rack is open they do. I do mainly because that is where the barbells are, I mean I could move them, but then the rack is useless. We only have one extra barbell. My gym is rarely crowded though.1 -
I didn't worry too much at the regular gym, but I found this climbing gym so intimidating! There are great looking guys with no shirts on, and because there is so much waiting around people are for sure watching you and I have been the heaviest girl I've seen there so far (2 months of going) so I know how scary it can be. There is nothing quite as nerve wracking as having to climb something while these amazing, fit climbers all watch you, haha. however , eventually you have to decide you want to do it and ignore those things in your head that talk you out of it.4
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rynshermy, I think the best thing you could do would be to plan out and write down your routine for what you are going to do at the gym. That way when you show up you can get right to it and execute your plan. With a tangible goal in mind you should have less time to second guess or doubt your reasons for being there as you focus on getting it done.
As a first workout it could be using a cardio machine for a set amount of time and then some weighted carries around the track. Just make it simple and write it down, that way you can focus on your goals and not worry about the other people. Plus you will look like you are on a mission, know what you are doing, and belong there.2 -
My son is in similar situation. He goes to gym to help himself lose weight and get fit. He sees the same things, but whats worse is comments and looks from the "beautiful" people. He says screw them and I agree. Do it for you2
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You already accomplished the hardest step, getting started. You walked in. You got to the gym. Now keep going. I promise that you are not the only one feeling uncomfortable. I started off like that. I would go, run for 15-minutes and leave because every time I started to attempt a machine or step foot in the weight room, I would feel awkward and like everyone was watching me walk around cluelessly. As I've gotten more and more into fitness, I realized that all along I had nothing to worry about. Those people who are unintentionally making you feel "lesser than" are focusing on none other than their gym session. They are in the zone, getting their daily routine done as efficiently as possible. I always thought they were somehow judging me, felt as if they were side-eyeing the light weights that I started off with, but once you are able to look past that and get over that feeling you, too, will succeed. Focus on YOU. I know everyone is going to say it, but it's really important. Who cares about anyone else. Get a routine to follow, plug in the headphones and zone out. Think of the gym as a sort of therapy where nothing else matters.
As for the minimal clothes, I used to wonder that too, but then I realized it really is more comfortable (for me personally) to wear a tank and short-shorts. I like to see the muscles moving in whatever part I'm working, so that's what I opt to wear (although I never got enough confidence to wear a sports bra and shorts unless I'm doing at-home circuits). I still haven't been able to fathom how people keep their hair down though. I broke my pony-tie mid-work out once and got frustrated the remainder of the time keeping my hair out of my face or wiping it from my sweaty shoulders.2 -
I used to work out in a sports bra, I was the only one at my gym who ever did, but I didn't feel self-conscious about it.
When my abs get back to where they were before my baby you BET I'll be rocking the sports bra at all times! I worked hard for it and I will have earned the right to be proud of how my body looks. I'll happily show it off, so that other moms can know it's attainable, and know they can do it, too!4 -
heatherheyns wrote: »I didn't worry too much at the regular gym, but I found this climbing gym so intimidating! There are great looking guys with no shirts on, and because there is so much waiting around people are for sure watching you and I have been the heaviest girl I've seen there so far (2 months of going) so I know how scary it can be. There is nothing quite as nerve wracking as having to climb something while these amazing, fit climbers all watch you, haha. however , eventually you have to decide you want to do it and ignore those things in your head that talk you out of it.
How do you think they got that fit?
Many of the fit people in gyms were also once that fat person walking in for the first time and being intimidated by all the fit people around them (who were also once the fat person walking in for the first time, and so on). People with that kind of body put in a lot of work to get there, and the vast majority of them understand where the newbies are at since they were there themselves at some point.
I see plenty of obese people in the gym. My usual thought isn't judging or mocking them, it's "Good for you, get some!". I have nothing but respect for anybody who's willing to put in the work to improve their body/health.6
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