Is this a gym or a high school?
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I always disrupt others to find out when they are going to leave.
But when someone does that to me, I go full Lex Luthor
Ah the double standard.
OP, don't be anti-social. Gym is also a social scene. Don't treat it like you are training for the hunger games. Lighten up.
PP, please try to get this through your head: OP can be anti-social if she chooses. It's her choice. The gym is exactly what she chooses for it to be FOR HER. She has no obligation whatsoever to lighten up, particularly when a random dude on the internet tells her to.
Women are under no obligation whatsoever to smile and chat whenever random @ssclowns want them to.
You get me :-) Telling someone to lighten up & be social at the gym would be the same as telling the social ones to be quiet & just workout. Yet people would have a fit if anyone did that. So why the double standard.1 -
Some people see the gym as a social activity. Not me, but some do.0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Blimey, where do we go from here? Exchange a series of messages and duel it out for the social justice warrior award? I politely decline.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That makes sense. Good answer, because I was preparing to go into heavy artillery modeCutaway_Collar wrote: »
Just curious. Why would you say that?
Men express interest in women in some form. Some buggers chase them down the yogurt aisle and ask them out. Isn't that how the cookie crumbles?!
Because first off I'm in a relationship with an amazing Woman already. If I was single I would have 0 interest in dating anyone that goes to my gym.
Well, in general, a lot of men express their interest in women, which is fair game. But many women act like they are God's gift to men and throw these guys around (OMG I am wayyyy out of his league). I thought this was another of those threads.
Are you serious with this? Do you live in some weird throwback to a previous decade?
Women are not obligated to let you down easy or provide a reason that they don't want to date you or anyone else. Neither are men, for that matter. "No" is a complete sentence and perfectly sufficient for when a stranger propositions you. OP didn't say a single word about being out of anyone's league, I don't know what you're projecting exactly but I think it says a lot more about you than about "women". Sigh.
The OP disclosed she was a lesbian late in the thread and it didn't appear like the gentleman in question was stalking her. It sounded like someone was interested in someone and that is normal. It doesn't warrant such a squeamish reaction.
Otherwise, I am all for it. I support gender equality. Global warming awareness and everything that is in vogue.
YOU"RE MISSING THE POINT.
It doesn't matter if she likes men- or women- cats dogs or no one. It's not relevant. Her sexual preferences and relationship status isn't' relevant.
She doesn't NEED to be in a relationship for her "no thank you" to be an answer for you to respect. That's not a matter of feminism- that's a matter of she's not interested- her reason for why isn't relevant to you and she does not owe you her time- she doesn't owe you a smile- she doesn't owe you ANYTHING by merely occupying the same space as you.
So don't tell her to smile. Don't ask her to be automatically friendly.
Do you tell men to smile? do you generally give men a hard time for being stuck up for being quite and not engaging?
no- you just assume they are there doing what they are doing.
It's the half the fricking point of what's wrong with our patriarchal society.
Not that's not feminism. That's being a polite human being and not assuming a woman owes you any time of day.
As for chatting at the gym.
Some people do.
Some people do not.
I chat at the gym. But only people who are interested in talking. I see the same hard working people and I lift with them- People who are power lifters have more "down time" than many other lifters- because they are resting between heavy sets- and they ask for spots. So there is a certain commradery between lifters that's frequently noted- I have seen it at EVER gym I've ever been to.
You don't have to participate in that- you can chose not to.
But I'd also like to point out that just because you aren't chatty doesn't mean people who ARE chatty- aren't hard workers. A. it's none of your business and B. sometimes- yes we are hard workers- we also just like chatting with people who have a common interest.
Couldn't agree more with the first half of your post. I can't stand that people think you are obligated to engage them & when you choose not to you owe them some type of explanation. No is enough end of story. The whole reason I can't stand this dude in the first place is because he told me I should be smiling & happy. That's the best way to make me your enemy.
As for the last part of your post A. I never said what anyone does in the gym is my business nor do I care. I just said I don't care to be a part of the chit chat myself. People can spend the whole day in the gym talking for all I care. Just don't bother me.
B. Never said people who talk in the gym aren't hard workers either.
If I did you will have to go back to my original post & show me where I said either of those things
That's exactly my point- it's not relvant to either side- and I wasn't talking about you specifically-considering you didn't imply that was the case- I was merely addressing the more underlying current that constantly goes on with comments of "I'M only there to work hard not chit chat"
the converse of that being people who chit chat aren't working hard.
Like people who give people crap about wearing make up the gym- the inference is "I'm working hard and therefore better than you because you have make up on"
I find that unspoken attitude of "I'm better than you because I do this while you're doing that"- to be off putting.
So- not about you- not saying you said it- merely addressing the 4 pages of back and forth regarding that.
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[/quote]
That's exactly my point- it's not relvant to either side- and I wasn't talking about you specifically-considering you didn't imply that was the case- I was merely addressing the more underlying current that constantly goes on with comments of "I'M only there to work hard not chit chat"
the converse of that being people who chit chat aren't working hard.
Like people who give people crap about wearing make up the gym- the inference is "I'm working hard and therefore better than you because you have make up on"
I find that unspoken attitude of "I'm better than you because I do this while you're doing that"- to be off putting.
So- not about you- not saying you said it- merely addressing the 4 pages of back and forth regarding that.
[/quote]
Ok I can totally understand that.0 -
For a lot of these people the gym is an outlet.. for some it is their only "happy" place. So I don't judge the people who are in there for 2 hours talking etc, they see their friends, maybe learn new things from others and have a good time. I know plenty of people at my gym go for a 60 min workout and hangout for another hour just because they love it there. You see the same people every day there, couldn't hurt to get to know their name and have a little chat, I chat for total 10 min max in between my sets and it makes the gym a pleasant place to be..
Think your missing the point. Nothing wrong with socialising. Do you send a mate over to guys at the gym to find out why they arent talking to you?
Not for nothing - but does anyone know that that's really what happened? That the one guy asked him to find out? Or was it just asking - in passing - if he knew?
From the OP:The other day one of the only people who I will talk to comes up to me & tells me that this other guy at the gym asked him why I don't like him & wont talk to him.
For all anyone knows, the two guys could have simply been talking, and the one mentions that he tried to say something to OP, but she ignored him. Which, of course, could have been that she didn't realize he was talking to her, or she really did flat-out ignore him, or she could have nodded or said hello and kept going - any nuber of things. And then the 2nd guy simply mentioned the conversation the two of them had to OP.
Realistically, if you (not you Jake - general "you") tried talking to someone, but (s)he blew you off, wouldn't you wonder why? And, in doing so, maybe casually ask/mention it to someone that knows the two of you? My point - in case it wasn't obvious enough - is that we don't know if the one guy actually sent the other over to find out, or if it was just a passing comment and the 2nd guy took it upon himself to say something to OP.1 -
Haha this is why I avoid eye contact with everyone!!!! I'm there to work not chat lol1
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Blimey, where do we go from here? Exchange a series of messages and duel it out for the social justice warrior award? I politely decline.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That makes sense. Good answer, because I was preparing to go into heavy artillery modeCutaway_Collar wrote: »
Just curious. Why would you say that?
Men express interest in women in some form. Some buggers chase them down the yogurt aisle and ask them out. Isn't that how the cookie crumbles?!
Because first off I'm in a relationship with an amazing Woman already. If I was single I would have 0 interest in dating anyone that goes to my gym.
Well, in general, a lot of men express their interest in women, which is fair game. But many women act like they are God's gift to men and throw these guys around (OMG I am wayyyy out of his league). I thought this was another of those threads.
Are you serious with this? Do you live in some weird throwback to a previous decade?
Women are not obligated to let you down easy or provide a reason that they don't want to date you or anyone else. Neither are men, for that matter. "No" is a complete sentence and perfectly sufficient for when a stranger propositions you. OP didn't say a single word about being out of anyone's league, I don't know what you're projecting exactly but I think it says a lot more about you than about "women". Sigh.
The OP disclosed she was a lesbian late in the thread and it didn't appear like the gentleman in question was stalking her. It sounded like someone was interested in someone and that is normal. It doesn't warrant such a squeamish reaction.
Otherwise, I am all for it. I support gender equality. Global warming awareness and everything that is in vogue.
YOU"RE MISSING THE POINT.
It doesn't matter if she likes men- or women- cats dogs or no one. It's not relevant. Her sexual preferences and relationship status isn't' relevant.
She doesn't NEED to be in a relationship for her "no thank you" to be an answer for you to respect. That's not a matter of feminism- that's a matter of she's not interested- her reason for why isn't relevant to you and she does not owe you her time- she doesn't owe you a smile- she doesn't owe you ANYTHING by merely occupying the same space as you.
So don't tell her to smile. Don't ask her to be automatically friendly.
Do you tell men to smile? do you generally give men a hard time for being stuck up for being quite and not engaging?
no- you just assume they are there doing what they are doing.
It's the half the fricking point of what's wrong with our patriarchal society.
Not that's not feminism. That's being a polite human being and not assuming a woman owes you any time of day.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YAAAAAAASSSSSS.2 -
gemmamgreen wrote: »Haha this is why I avoid eye contact with everyone!!!! I'm there to work not chat lol
And only like 3 posts after yours @JoRocka lol0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Blimey, where do we go from here? Exchange a series of messages and duel it out for the social justice warrior award? I politely decline.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That makes sense. Good answer, because I was preparing to go into heavy artillery modeCutaway_Collar wrote: »
Just curious. Why would you say that?
Men express interest in women in some form. Some buggers chase them down the yogurt aisle and ask them out. Isn't that how the cookie crumbles?!
Because first off I'm in a relationship with an amazing Woman already. If I was single I would have 0 interest in dating anyone that goes to my gym.
Well, in general, a lot of men express their interest in women, which is fair game. But many women act like they are God's gift to men and throw these guys around (OMG I am wayyyy out of his league). I thought this was another of those threads.
Are you serious with this? Do you live in some weird throwback to a previous decade?
Women are not obligated to let you down easy or provide a reason that they don't want to date you or anyone else. Neither are men, for that matter. "No" is a complete sentence and perfectly sufficient for when a stranger propositions you. OP didn't say a single word about being out of anyone's league, I don't know what you're projecting exactly but I think it says a lot more about you than about "women". Sigh.
The OP disclosed she was a lesbian late in the thread and it didn't appear like the gentleman in question was stalking her. It sounded like someone was interested in someone and that is normal. It doesn't warrant such a squeamish reaction.
Otherwise, I am all for it. I support gender equality. Global warming awareness and everything that is in vogue.
YOU"RE MISSING THE POINT.
It doesn't matter if she likes men- or women- cats dogs or no one. It's not relevant. Her sexual preferences and relationship status isn't' relevant.
She doesn't NEED to be in a relationship for her "no thank you" to be an answer for you to respect. That's not a matter of feminism- that's a matter of she's not interested- her reason for why isn't relevant to you and she does not owe you her time- she doesn't owe you a smile- she doesn't owe you ANYTHING by merely occupying the same space as you.
So don't tell her to smile. Don't ask her to be automatically friendly.
Do you tell men to smile? do you generally give men a hard time for being stuck up for being quite and not engaging?
no- you just assume they are there doing what they are doing.
It's the half the fricking point of what's wrong with our patriarchal society.
Not that's not feminism. That's being a polite human being and not assuming a woman owes you any time of day.
As for chatting at the gym.
Some people do.
Some people do not.
I chat at the gym. But only people who are interested in talking. I see the same hard working people and I lift with them- People who are power lifters have more "down time" than many other lifters- because they are resting between heavy sets- and they ask for spots. So there is a certain commradery between lifters that's frequently noted- I have seen it at EVER gym I've ever been to.
You don't have to participate in that- you can chose not to.
But I'd also like to point out that just because you aren't chatty doesn't mean people who ARE chatty- aren't hard workers. A. it's none of your business and B. sometimes- yes we are hard workers- we also just like chatting with people who have a common interest.
Thank God for you @JoRocka b/c I was about to lose it, but you already shut it down.
I get so freaking sick and tired of men who feel like women owe them something. It's enough to drive you batty. He tried to engage her, she rebuffed him. The End. At least, that should have been the end.2 -
i honestly don't get the guy's problem. he's hitting his social macros from other sources by the sounds of it, so this just looks like to me like pure greed. maybe he's on some huge ego bulk and the op's 'depriving' him of his gainz
i don't think i've ever met an extravert who was able to get their head around the idea that people-free time isn't a whim for an introvert, it's a mental-health need. it's a perennial fight, and imo women who are introverted fight two different layers of entitlement a lot of the time.0 -
canadianlbs wrote: »i honestly don't get the guy's problem. he's hitting his social macros from other sources by the sounds of it, so this just looks like to me like pure greed. maybe he's on some huge ego bulk and the op's 'depriving' him of his gainz
i don't think i've ever met an extravert who was able to get their head around the idea that people-free time isn't a whim for an introvert, it's a mental-health need. it's a perennial fight, and imo women who are introverted fight two different layers of entitlement a lot of the time.
You are so right & it really is mentally draining.1 -
that's what gyms are. a pick up place. some look so fine, they cannot sweat. funny. I hate gyms, always have.0
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That's really not what gyms are...3
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Maybe an all girl gym? When I had a membership, it was to one ... was cool. And they had all the stuff other gyms had except guys and the smell. Maybe all girl gyms are better maintained?0
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melaniedscott wrote: »Maybe an all girl gym? When I had a membership, it was to one ... was cool. And they had all the stuff other gyms had except guys and the smell. Maybe all girl gyms are better maintained?
lol I definitely wouldn't mind a less smelly gym lol0 -
KANGOOJUMPS wrote: »that's what gyms are. a pick up place. some look so fine, they cannot sweat. funny. I hate gyms, always have.
No, it's really not. The people at my gym are there to workout. Are you talking about the gyms in the movies or something?3 -
But what about the person who was the go between? That's even weirder than the question-asker! Who would do THAT??2
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so here's the trick i found to avoid gym conversations. I dress like a slob with baggy sweats and a hoodie and wear huge over ear headphones. even if they do try to talk to me i don't notice lol1
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