Why do i keep doing this to myself!

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  • Heather_b1986
    Heather_b1986 Posts: 125 Member
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    Yeah I am trying to treat food as fuel too still a work in progress but being more mindful of what will give me energy for the day as opposed to just stuffing my face with whatever
  • Heather_b1986
    Heather_b1986 Posts: 125 Member
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    I feel a lot better I was close to tears earlier I was so frustrated with myself, tomorrow is a new day, id appreciate any support to get me through this I've never added any friends on this before ( usually just read the forums) but I think I need all the help I can get so please feel free to add :)
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    pinkchick wrote: »
    Yeah I am trying to treat food as fuel too still a work in progress but being more mindful of what will give me energy for the day as opposed to just stuffing my face with whatever

    I experienced a lot of these things when I first started too. It took a while to change my own mindset, but that made an unbelievable difference. Consider reading a book or two on emotional eating by Geneen Roth.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    @ryry_ - makes a very valid point about eating maintenance.
  • Heather_b1986
    Heather_b1986 Posts: 125 Member
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    @nutmegoreo Thanks i suspect what I read will be all too familiar! understanding why will def help, I just need to get through this phase and keep going I don't want to be fat all my life I'm determined
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    @pinkchick I sent you a friend request. I'm pescatarian so my food choices may not help you any since I eat 90% vegetarian/vegan meals. But I'm pretty active in trying to support and comment on just about every friends post with the exception of food diary because I don't even look at folks diary unless they ask.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    pinkchick wrote: »
    @nutmegoreo Thanks i suspect what I read will be all too familiar! understanding why will def help, I just need to get through this phase and keep going I don't want to be fat all my life I'm determined

    You are welcome. I remember that battle all too well. It was a challenge, and sometimes I had to just trust that the end result would be worth going through it all.
  • Heather_b1986
    Heather_b1986 Posts: 125 Member
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    @johunt615 thank you, you're right I doubt out food choices would be the same haha veggies are a struggle for me but im willing to learn and any help is welcome :)
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    @pinkchick HA my kids felt the same so I put cheese and ranch dressing on veggies when they were little. My son is a very fit vegan and my daughter a marathoner who only eats lean chicken as her only meat with a ton of veggies. Boathouse yogurt classic ranch or cheese. Try it you might like it:).
  • francescacoscia16
    francescacoscia16 Posts: 20 Member
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    courtneyfabulous wrote: »
    Hmm it worries me that you're using terms like "being good" and "giving in" and that you're comfort eating & eating when not hungry...

    The thing that took me a long time to learn (but was also very nice to learn too) was that weight loss isn't about being "good" or "bad"... it's about being in a caloric deficit. You either are in a caloric deficit and are losing weight, or you're eating at maintenance calories and staying the same weight, or you're eating in a caloric surplus and gaining weight.

    That's it.

    If you can manage to take the emotion out of it it's so much easier! And if you just eat the correct amount of calories weight loss just happens- wether you eat candy bars or oatmeal.

    I wish I knew all this the first time I lost weight. That time I was avoiding sugar and dairy and chocolate and alcohol and red meat and nuts and packaged foods... even salt! it was overly restrictive and when I would go off plan I would eat candy & macaroni & cheese in large quantities because I missed it so much... of course it's best for health to mostly eat healthy foods, but now I'm easily and consistently losing weight this time around while having a little bit of the foods I like in moderation along with healthy foods and within my daily calorie goal.

    It really is just math. If you log and measure everything, rather than trying to be "good" (or feeling like you're being "bad" when you mess up), you can pretty much live a normal life and eat what you want and the weight still comes off. Just try to hit that daily calorie goal or get as close as you can. I find this relieves a lot of stress for me and keeps things simple. I hope it does for you too!


    THIS^^^
    Honestly, I couldn't have said it better. That's how I lost all the weight I lost. I didn't rule out any kind of food, just tried to "fit" it in my calorie goal. I don't know if it's still valid in the long run - lately, for example, I've been bingeing which is something that I never did, and failing miserably - but rather than depending on the "diet", I think it's a consequence of boredom, in my case.
    Treats are good, no food whatsoever should be ruled out of your diet - just keep it in your calorie goal.
  • owieprone
    owieprone Posts: 217 Member
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    (apology edit - sorry, this is massive!)

    ooh separated at birth! Same issues, stress eating, mindless eating, little- no-motivation, binge eating, no willpower, lots of self recrimination, embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

    I have Mal de debarquement... i'm basically forever drunk or forever on a very bad sea crossing. Sadly, it's not as fun as it sounds. I have to eat little and often to keep my energy relatively stable, if i eat too much i over do the exercise, if i eat too little i then binge to try get the energy back (it doesn't work like that, once i've lost energy only sleep works.. not great at 10 am at work). If i don't eat (or drink! i have to carry water with me at all times) i get very grumpy as my symptoms get worse and i feel starving or dying of thirst, not a bit peckish - proper i've not eating in 5 days starving. My symptoms will escalate and i am a danger to myself and others. And i'm lucky, i have a very mild version of this, i can work, shop (unfortunately), watch telly, and sometimes i can even walk in a straight line.

    On the plus(?) side, I'm my town's version of early bono, never take my shades off. Maybe, more like judge dredd? I certainly have the demeanour.

    the MdDs is not the cause of my eating problems, i am a fussy eater and a binge eater, it's just a 'reason' or issue i have to deal with alongside being seemingly unable to fully control my eating. I sabotage my healthy eating, i don't know why. Cos i'm not good looking enough to be thin, i'm not worthy of being thin, i'm lazy, i'm already fat so who cares, i'm fit so being fat too doesn't really matter (i am fit, but binging robs me of the benefits), i'll work it off in a sport, i've been for a walk... you probably know the rest. I can't even say what my real issue is, i'll probably never know, but i do keep trying to sort myself out.

    Best thing i've done is pick an eating regime and that's it for life (5:2 is out for me, MdDs does react well to 600 calories a day). You know what you shouldn't eat and what you can't stop eating when you have it around, get rid of it, find an alternative. Processed carbs are the cause of my bread baby, i've gone low (processed) carb, because i find bread addictive. Tatties and rice are a rare food in my house. I've found alternatives that are tastier, healthy and take the same time to make, or are generally available at restaurants as sides. I managed to stay on this for years before falling right under the wheels of the wagon this year, i dunno why i did but here i am, flump shaped. Today is day 1 back eating properly.

    There are foods i can't do without, either psychologically or physically, i'm not sure which, but i can manage those urges without resorting to binging. There are foods i have to cut down slowly, just eat less of each time (cheese! babybels are my saviour) and other things i have to just stop (bread, sweets). Work out what you need to stop eating and how best to do it for you, find alternatives to introduce at the same time so you're not 'done out'. Cheat meal is one course, once a fortnight; not once a week, it makes looking forward to it so much better and knowing it's so far away but so close helps me out alot. I do miss out my cheat meal once in a while, by having food at MILs, who's food is soo good i forget it's healthy... i should employ her as my chef (also free food, can't say no).

    it takes abit of researching/googling/youtubing/pinteresting and fiddling around with recipes, and annoyingly some cooking (i hate cooking, which also doesn't help). But worth the time and effort eventually. I swear some of the stuff i've found as alternatives tastes soo much better than the original craving, when i finally have the original food it's so disappointing it puts me off it for good. It's a slow process and i've fallen off the wagon loads, but i keep trying cos my symptoms get so much better when i stick to it. You'd think that would be motivation enough.

    Find a different stress buster, a different emotional crutch. My main crutch is sports, i do 6. I love sports, and the kit, and the eejits who do them with me. Yep, sometimes having an addictive personality is a good thing, just as long as you know a good chiropractor when it goes wrong.

    Hope sharing my uselessness at controlling my eating is helpful, if nothing else, you know you're definately not alone.

    Good luck. Get ready, set, keep trying.

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