When you're "not fat but not skinny"...what does that even mean

Blondieeee26
Blondieeee26 Posts: 12 Member
edited December 4 in Health and Weight Loss
Seems to be a favorite unsolicited comment, that people love to throw at you for no reason. Considering "average" in America is a size 16 5'4" 160lb woman... I'm way below that and 5 inches taller. So what is considered skinny then?
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Replies

  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited November 2016
    In between.. normal, perfect, maybe? Heck who knows? This stuff is totally irrelevant to anything in the realm of reality. Trying to put yourself in a range, in some sort of "norm" for the sake of "they" is ridiculous..

  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
    TR0berts wrote: »
    Not fat, but not skinny? Sounds pretty darned close to "just right," IMO. Almost like Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

    agreed! I would never take it as a put down, unless of course you would like to be considered skinny. But also agree with singingflutelady, some people use skinny as a derogatory term these days. Bottom line I could not and would not care what anyone thinks of me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but anything I do is for myself to make myself happy.

  • crzycatlady1
    crzycatlady1 Posts: 1,930 Member
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight

    This is how I would take it too. After I lost my extra weight my mom started calling me skinny all the time and it drove me nuts, because it's a word that has negative connotations attached to it. No, I'm not skinny, I'm now a healthy weight thank you very much. A little pet peeve of mine :p
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,185 Member
    I consider skinny an insult. The average woman is overweight, so I don't really want to be average. I want to be slender but not skinny. My daughter who is very underweight is "skinny". People make derogatory comments about her weight all the time. It really hurts her feelings. She is not underweight intentionally and has tried for years to gain. Being skinny isn't something that I think one should aspire to be.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    edited November 2016
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..

    That's exactly what I picture in my mind when I hear "skinny" also. Underweight and overfat (BF%), with low muscle mass. IMO it's a pejorative term and an insult.

    As to the OP, who cares what anybody else thinks? Most people have a distorted view of the body according to their own perceptions, and our society is so full of obese people that normal weight people seem "skinny" to many nowadays. If you're at a healthy weight/BF% and like what you see in the mirror, it doesn't matter what other people think or say. Especially considering that the comments may not always be coming from the best place (jealousy/envy, cattiness, etc.)
  • DoreenaV1975
    DoreenaV1975 Posts: 567 Member
    I get told I'm "too skinny" all the time...and usually by people who are fat. So I get really irritated that I can't respond w/ "Yeah? well you're too fat". God forbid I point out they're overweight, but it's perfectly okay for them to point out the opposite fact about me! It's definitely a double-standard when society has made it acceptable to be "skinny-shamed". And for the record I'm not "too skinny" I'm just much more "skinny" then I once was.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    edited November 2016
    Do you want to be "skinny"? Are you healthy? Do YOU like the way you look?

    If the answer is yes to the 2nd two questions than you are good to go.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    I would take it to mean not skinny as in not skin and bones or ultra lean, but also not carrying too much extra fat either. Likely in the healthy BMI range and probably also in the healthy BF% range, though probably in the upper 20's rather than lower 20's or < 20%. (for women)

  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..

    I would think that if I heard it about a man, but I think of ultra lean women as skinny. Like I would call most popular female fitness instructors skinny even though they have their little muscle bulges.
  • JDixon852019
    JDixon852019 Posts: 312 Member
    DoreenaV1975 wrote: »
    I get told I'm "too skinny" all the time...and usually by people who are fat. So I get really irritated that I can't respond w/ "Yeah? well you're too fat". God forbid I point out they're overweight, but it's perfectly okay for them to point out the opposite fact about me! It's definitely a double-standard when society has made it acceptable to be "skinny-shamed". And for the record I'm not "too skinny" I'm just much more "skinny" then I once was.

    I flat out tell them they are being incredibly rude and it is not ok.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Blondieeee26 wrote: »
    Seems to be a favorite unsolicited comment, that people love to throw at you for no reason. Considering "average" in America is a size 16 5'4" 160lb woman... I'm way below that and 5 inches taller. So what is considered skinny then?

    No one has ever told me I was fat or said that comment either. I don't really hang out with those who make unsolicited body comments I guess.
    When I was called skinny in the past it was not really the same as saying you look good or you look healthy. It was meant negatively and it has been that way IME at least 40 years. People have been skinny shaming as long as any other body shaming I'd say.
    I'd guess when they say you aren't fat but not skinny that they are trying to say you look like a good weight to them with your frame size or that you don't have very defined muscles. You'd have to ask them to explain.

    I think of skinny as being toward the lower side of the healthy bmi or slightly underweight. For 5'4" I'd picture "skinny" at 115lbs or less. I don't picture a skinny person as having much body fat but not really athletic looking just more boney and thin. I'd probably describe 115-130 as the weight most people that height look pretty healthy at. 130-145 can look healthy too but might be a bit much if someone legitimately has a small frame size or low muscle tone.

    Ultimately you have to decide for yourself what weight you feel and look your best at and ignore other people.
  • robininfl
    robininfl Posts: 1,137 Member
    I think it's shorthand for "but not TOO skinny" by the standards of whoever is saying it.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..

    I would think that if I heard it about a man, but I think of ultra lean women as skinny. Like I would call most popular female fitness instructors skinny even though they have their little muscle bulges.

    Maybe it's generational...if I called my wife or her trainer or any of my other fitness lady friends "skinny", it would likely be the last word out of my mouth. IDK...athletic fitness bodies and 6 pack abs just doesn't seem to fit with "skinny"...
  • AngelinaB_
    AngelinaB_ Posts: 563 Member
    edited November 2016
    Blondieeee26 wrote: »
    Seems to be a favorite unsolicited comment, that people love to throw at you for no reason. Considering "average" in America is a size 16 5'4" 160lb woman... I'm way below that and 5 inches taller. So what is considered skinny then?

    I know exactly what you mean... the tone "well you are certainly not skinny" throw as the backhanded compliment of the year to somebody which looks like is in good shape.

    I think you should reply back: "I don't want to lose weight at all. I don't think I am fat at all. As a matter of fact I am perfectly happy with my weight and the way I look". I might be a nice innocent comment but seems to me you didn't like it because of the tone it was told, right?

    I try not to comment on anybody's weight even if they lose weight because sometimes they might not take it in a good way, specially on younger people. It's better that way.
  • PixelPuff
    PixelPuff Posts: 902 Member
    edited November 2016
    jrulo16 wrote: »
    DoreenaV1975 wrote: »
    I get told I'm "too skinny" all the time...and usually by people who are fat. So I get really irritated that I can't respond w/ "Yeah? well you're too fat". God forbid I point out they're overweight, but it's perfectly okay for them to point out the opposite fact about me! It's definitely a double-standard when society has made it acceptable to be "skinny-shamed". And for the record I'm not "too skinny" I'm just much more "skinny" then I once was.

    I flat out tell them they are being incredibly rude and it is not ok.

    I need to start talking up at work and saying this stuff 'flat out', too.

    I ended up snapping on a male coworker (who is incredibly overweight obese and nearing double my age) who keeps commenting on me. Told me I was 'showing bone' (my collarbones were starting to show), when I was in the upper range of healthy for my height.. Last week came up behind me to wrap his hand around my wrist and began commenting. I have extreeeemely small hands (think kids' gloves, even when I was overweight), and I don't like being touched either way. Totally inappropriate.

    I have another older (nearly elder) coworker who makes comments literally every time he sees me. Goes out of his way to do it if he sees I am going for food at my lunch or something. Always comments that I can't possibly actually be eating... Etc etc. Agh.
  • SusanMFindlay
    SusanMFindlay Posts: 1,804 Member
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight

    Unfortunately, "skinny" seems to have become a thing to aspire to (likely due to impossibly photoshopped bodies in the media). Personally, I don't see any difference between the words "fat" and "skinny". They can both be used descriptively or perjoratively (and those who use them as insults are usually not very nice people).

    I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
  • AngelinaB_
    AngelinaB_ Posts: 563 Member
    PixelPuff wrote: »

    I need to start talking up at work and saying this stuff 'flat out', too.

    I ended up snapping on a male coworker (who is incredibly overweight obese and nearing double my age) who keeps commenting on me. Told me I was 'showing bone' (my collarbones were starting to show), when I was in the upper range of healthy for my height.. Last week came up behind me to wrap his hand around my wrist and began commenting. I have extreeeemely small hands (think kids' gloves, even when I was overweight), and I don't like being touched either way. Totally inappropriate.

    I have another older (nearly elder) coworker who makes comments literally every time he sees me. Goes out of his way to do it if he sees I am going for food at my lunch or something. Always comments that I can't possibly actually be eating... Etc etc. Agh.

    Yes time to shut them... How annoying, and creepy.

    Who touches anybody at work these days? :o
  • Colt1835
    Colt1835 Posts: 447 Member
    VintageFeline wrote: »
    SusanMFindlay wrote: »
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight

    I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.

    I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.

    Speak for yourself. I like to have an idea of what other people think of my figure. I find it interesting that so many people have told me that I need to stop losing weight. It's always people who have a much higher body fat % than I do. I just tell tem I'll stop losing weight when I stop being a disgusting fat body. That's pretty much like indirectly insulting them, since they have more fat than me. It leaves 'em speechless every time.
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
    Colt1835 wrote: »
    VintageFeline wrote: »
    SusanMFindlay wrote: »
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight

    I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.

    I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.

    Speak for yourself. I like to have an idea of what other people think of my figure. I find it interesting that so many people have told me that I need to stop losing weight. It's always people who have a much higher body fat % than I do. I just tell tem I'll stop losing weight when I stop being a disgusting fat body. That's pretty much like indirectly insulting them, since they have more fat than me. It leaves 'em speechless every time.

    That's..........kind of hateful. But you do you boo.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    VintageFeline wrote: »
    SusanMFindlay wrote: »
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight

    I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.

    I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.

    I'm with you. It doesn't really bother me that much when intended positively (whatever words are chosen) but it does seem socially inappropriate.

    Skinny to me does seem like a negative word, but I know people who use it positively (oh, you are such a skinny minny said as a compliment).
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