Is it really "just one day"?
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Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.2
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I figure if my "just one day" is as frequent as two or three days a month -- and my definition of "just one day" is eating at maintenance or slightly above -- then I'll be fine. I have an average calorie deficit of 4200-6300 calories a week, which is a monthly deficit of 16800-25200. An extra 1000-2000 calories in the month is not going to set me back at all. If anything, it'll help keep me from losing at an unhealthy rate.
Of course, my "just one day" isn't even once a month. My birthday, a couple days for Thanksgiving, maybe the Fourth of July, and one or two big milestone celebrations. I don't see the harm in that.3 -
I've had 4 "it's just one day" in the past 2 weeks and I'm 2.6 lb above my weight 30 days ago. That tells me that 4 of them in 2 weeks is too danged frequent.4
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I've had 4 "it's just one day" in the past 2 weeks and I'm 2.6 lb above my weight 30 days ago. That tells me that 4 of them in 2 weeks is too danged frequent.
That's twice a week...how much of an overeat was it? Twice a week would definitely show up as a gain for me, even if a relatively small one, like yours, but not if it were something like one peanut butter cup or a very small slice of pie. At least judging on past experience. I try just not to go there nowadays and like I said above, to literally keep it to "just" one or two very very special days.
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I've had 4 "it's just one day" in the past 2 weeks and I'm 2.6 lb above my weight 30 days ago. That tells me that 4 of them in 2 weeks is too danged frequent.
Yeah, but is it fat weight or water weight? I don't stress about water weight. I know even on cheat days doesn't put me at a surplus of 3500 calories so there is no way it's fat gain.
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I have not read the entire thread, but here is my two cents anyway.
In my experience, "it's just one day" is a perfectly fine way to view holidays, birthdays, celebrations, etc., as long as you make each one last just one day.
Let's say your weight loss goal is 1 lb per week, so you're eating a 500 calorie per day deficit and a 3,500 calorie deficit per week. There are about 4 weeks in a month, so you would expect to lose roughly 4 pounds each month. Even if you had a day like this once a month (which is pretty often, IMO), you would maybe wipe out your deficit for one week, making you lose 3 pounds that month instead of 4.
Boo-hoo.
Unless you eat 3,500 calories or more over your TDEE, you would still be in a deficit for the week, albeit a smaller one. So then maybe you'd lose 3.5 pounds that month instead of 4. And if you try to get in more exercise that week to compensate for some of those calories, that's even better.
My point is - it's really not that big of a deal in the long run, and people worry way too much about things like holidays, going out to eat on a date night, eating cake and ice cream at a birthday party, going to a wedding, etc.
So, yes - enjoy Thanksgiving. Enjoy Christmas. Enjoy New Year's. You can go back to your normal deficit the next day, and you will be just fine. This is how you learn to have healthy eating habits while still living life, just like everyone else does.3 -
I don't usually use the "it's just one day" idea if it's going to be a regular thing as described/asked in the OP - say, once a month or something like that. If it were, I'd have to be working that into my calorie goals for the week ahead or the month ahead or whatever and still tracking. That would mean I wasn't off-plan at all.
For me I do think I'll eat more on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those really ARE special days.
I had this discussion with my husband at one point. His mother constantly wants to do "let's eat!!!" celebrations. For. Every. Frickin'. Thing. Mother's Day. Father's Day. Every single birthday (seriously, every one). If it's a combined birthday for two people (adults, BTW! Because grownups would cry if they didn't get a cake...WTF), then TWO cakes. Because if it were just one cake then each celebrant wouldn't feel special. And then she needs to do more-than-one birthday celebrations. This year for EACH of my two sons she insisted on a cake the week before because she wouldn't see (each) of them on the day, then a big dinner out with giant goodies, then one with my brother-in-law and niece/nephew because otherwise they'd "miss out." She tried for some extra celebration then for my other son, I can't remember why and I put my foot down and said "He has had ENOUGH birthday-ing, (MIL)."
I said to my husband some time at the beginning of this year: "I don't want to hear 'but this is a special day' any more. We have our 'special day' eat-a-thons about every two darned weeks, it's just stupid, we wonder why we're all so fat?" That was a crude way to put it but come on. And we both got down to counting calories, and he has lost 100 pounds and I have lost 50. We had both just finally had enough, and enough of the emotional "if you don't eat the cake I bought I'll just burst into tears...and let's do it again next week, along with a giant dinner out"-a-thons. Just enough. (ETA: I'm not blaming all our weight gain on get-togethers. Obviously, we were overeating pretty regularly. Just following the theme of the thread and my input.)
Today my husband and I eat within our calorie goals for all those many "special days" that my mother-in-law would fall into a depression over if she didn't get to celebrate them (I mean really...it is silly...the woman's in her 70s). She still drops onto her giant plate of calories like a wolf on a dead dear in utter excitement; we don't, we eat pretty much as we would at home. Problem solved.
But...for two days a year, literally? Just Christmas Day, and just Thanksgiving? Yes, I will probably eat at maintenance. I still want to track just to keep my streak going. I'm funny that way.
Oh man, this is ironic because we got invited to MILs for cupcakes & pizza for....wait for it.....my ONE year olds birthday. Any reason to celebrate with food. I told her that's fine and am going to show up with a packed dinner for myself. No ducks given.3 -
Intentional_Me wrote: »I don't usually use the "it's just one day" idea if it's going to be a regular thing as described/asked in the OP - say, once a month or something like that. If it were, I'd have to be working that into my calorie goals for the week ahead or the month ahead or whatever and still tracking. That would mean I wasn't off-plan at all.
For me I do think I'll eat more on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those really ARE special days.
I had this discussion with my husband at one point. His mother constantly wants to do "let's eat!!!" celebrations. For. Every. Frickin'. Thing. Mother's Day. Father's Day. Every single birthday (seriously, every one). If it's a combined birthday for two people (adults, BTW! Because grownups would cry if they didn't get a cake...WTF), then TWO cakes. Because if it were just one cake then each celebrant wouldn't feel special. And then she needs to do more-than-one birthday celebrations. This year for EACH of my two sons she insisted on a cake the week before because she wouldn't see (each) of them on the day, then a big dinner out with giant goodies, then one with my brother-in-law and niece/nephew because otherwise they'd "miss out." She tried for some extra celebration then for my other son, I can't remember why and I put my foot down and said "He has had ENOUGH birthday-ing, (MIL)."
I said to my husband some time at the beginning of this year: "I don't want to hear 'but this is a special day' any more. We have our 'special day' eat-a-thons about every two darned weeks, it's just stupid, we wonder why we're all so fat?" That was a crude way to put it but come on. And we both got down to counting calories, and he has lost 100 pounds and I have lost 50. We had both just finally had enough, and enough of the emotional "if you don't eat the cake I bought I'll just burst into tears...and let's do it again next week, along with a giant dinner out"-a-thons. Just enough. (ETA: I'm not blaming all our weight gain on get-togethers. Obviously, we were overeating pretty regularly. Just following the theme of the thread and my input.)
Today my husband and I eat within our calorie goals for all those many "special days" that my mother-in-law would fall into a depression over if she didn't get to celebrate them (I mean really...it is silly...the woman's in her 70s). She still drops onto her giant plate of calories like a wolf on a dead dear in utter excitement; we don't, we eat pretty much as we would at home. Problem solved.
But...for two days a year, literally? Just Christmas Day, and just Thanksgiving? Yes, I will probably eat at maintenance. I still want to track just to keep my streak going. I'm funny that way.
Oh man, this is ironic because we got invited to MILs for cupcakes & pizza for....wait for it.....my ONE year olds birthday. Any reason to celebrate with food. I told her that's fine and am going to show up with a packed dinner for myself. No ducks given.
Ha ha, do we have the same in-laws?
Betty? Betty, is that you???? Just kidding.
Good on you for calmly stating how this is all going to go down. Sounds very reasonable and polite to me.3 -
@LAWoman72 I'm sorry for your situation with your MIL, but both of your posts made me giggle
I love your writing style!
Betty, betty :laugh:
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Yeah. idk I ate bad (fast food and probably at maintenance or a bit over?) a full week from mid october to mid nov and I lost 9lbs. lol. Also, I am near sedentary.
If you were at maintenance or a bit over you wouldn't have lost 9 Lbs....
I did. I know what maintenance is. Unless you think I am burning like 3000 calories a day and I don't even exercise? I don't work either. I ate an entire not small at all pizza between two days plus sides plus tacos and other junk that week.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Yeah. idk I ate bad (fast food and probably at maintenance or a bit over?) a full week from mid october to mid nov and I lost 9lbs. lol. Also, I am near sedentary.
If you were at maintenance or a bit over you wouldn't have lost 9 Lbs....
I did. I know what maintenance is. Unless you think I am burning like 3000 calories a day and I don't even exercise? I don't work either. I ate an entire not small at all pizza between two days plus sides plus tacos and other junk that week.
You didn't lose fat without a calorie deficit. Either you weren't eating as much as you thought, or you weren't absorbing a lot of the calories you ate, or you lost a bunch of water weight.4 -
Verity1111 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Yeah. idk I ate bad (fast food and probably at maintenance or a bit over?) a full week from mid october to mid nov and I lost 9lbs. lol. Also, I am near sedentary.
If you were at maintenance or a bit over you wouldn't have lost 9 Lbs....
I did. I know what maintenance is. Unless you think I am burning like 3000 calories a day and I don't even exercise? I don't work either. I ate an entire not small at all pizza between two days plus sides plus tacos and other junk that week.
The point I'm getting at is that you ate that way during a week out of four or five...overall you weren't in a surplus or maintenance...the way you phrased it made it sound like you were in a surplus or maintenance for all of mid Oct to mid Nov...and you weren't...you were overall in a deficit which is what matters, not the minutia of a day here and there.4 -
MissTattoo wrote: »Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.
Aren't there 365 days in a year?
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WinoGelato wrote: »MissTattoo wrote: »Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.
Aren't there 365 days in a year?
ha ha ha I think I started to type 52 weeks and decided to do 365 days instead and my brain was like *kitten* you. lol7 -
If it is a special day, event, or celebration, then usually, it's just for one meal/day.
For me, Thanksgiving and Christmas are special and occur once a year. Same for my birthday.
For family birthdays - it's THEIR special day, so I don't feel the need to indulge. Same for a work holiday potluck. I also do NOT waste my time (calories) on treats that aren't homemade. I can pick up a pumpkin pie at the grocery store, I don't want to bother wasting calories over eating it publicly with co-workers.
I'd say you are "allowed" as many 'just one day's' as you want. As long as you maintain a calorie deficit or are okay with your weight loss goals slowing down. You know yourself best. Would a 'just one day' turn into a week, month, etc?
HTH!3 -
WinoGelato wrote: »MissTattoo wrote: »Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.
Aren't there 365 days in a year?
i noticed that too, but then i was like, maybe everyone experiences time differently. it's all arbitrary man.6 -
jessiferrrb wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »MissTattoo wrote: »Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.
Aren't there 365 days in a year?
i noticed that too, but then i was like, maybe everyone experiences time differently. it's all arbitrary man.
Indeed...
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Thanks all for your input. In addition to posting on MFP, I also asked a few friends that are into fitness/nutrition to get their thoughts.
One good piece of advice I got was to only allow yourself to splurge if you have met the goal(s) you've set for yourself. For example, if I splurge on Thanksgiving and decide the next time I'm going to splurge will be Christmas, set a goal between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This could be whatever you want e.g. a certain weight, body fat %, lifting X weight on bench press, etc. If you reach your goal, you are allowed to splurge on Christmas. If you didn't reach your goal, then you can't go over your calorie limit that day.
I've never tried this before, but I think it could be a good way to hold yourself accountable and not fall off the wagon because of one cheat meal. So, the day after Christmas, this forces you to get back on track because you have another goal you need to reach before your next splurge day.
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I've had 4 "it's just one day" in the past 2 weeks and I'm 2.6 lb above my weight 30 days ago. That tells me that 4 of them in 2 weeks is too danged frequent.
I think this is where people need to be a little careful, particularly in the weight loss phase. When I was actively losing weight I kept the "it's just one day" to actual occasions...legit holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, etc...also my birthday...this is a handful of occasions that are pretty meaningless in the bigger picture. If people are having "it's just one day" days multiple times per week then it's not really "just one day"...
In maintenance I have a bit more latitude and we get together with friends two to three times per month for dinner parties and whatnot and weekends in general are more lax than week days...but even then, I'm not going nuts and I keep things reasonable. I also compensate for many things by eating a bit lighter during the day if I know we're going to a dinner party or out to eat or whatever...after a big indulgence I usually eat lighter the next day just naturally.
As to the OP, it really depends...ultimately weight management comes down to your net position over time.0 -
For me, those days come 7-10 times per year. Three family birthdays (where it's usually only one meal), Thanksgiving (whole day), Christmas Eve (dinner only) and Christmas (iffy - Christmas Eve usually blunts our appetites), then a couple of random celebratory events.
The more dangerous thing for us is vacations. Some in the family love to do 'food experiences', so the calories can really stack up. Vacation time is generally two weeks out of the year.
Personally, I know I'll end up needing to cut some after vacations. Almost never after holidays - the sustained eating doesn't last long enough. Plus, I don't eat as much even in screw-it mode as I used to.0 -
MissTattoo wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »MissTattoo wrote: »Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.
Aren't there 365 days in a year?
ha ha ha I think I started to type 52 weeks and decided to do 365 days instead and my brain was like *kitten* you. lol
So what you're saying is...you DON'T live on Venus.
P.s. what does "kitten" mean? I keep seeing that...0 -
Christine_72 wrote: »@LAWoman72 I'm sorry for your situation with your MIL, but both of your posts made me giggle I love your writing style!
Betty, betty :laugh:
Ha ha, thanks.
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Family birthdays are usually just one meal at a restaurant. I eat at maintenance most days, so it isn't too hard to divide my calories for the day to it. Everyone has kids that like chains, making things even easier for me. Single events aren't hard to plan for for the same reason.
My sister's birthday, mine, Christmas Eve, Day, and Thanksgiving are all bets off. 5 out of 365 ain't too bad.0 -
MissTattoo wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »MissTattoo wrote: »Log everything you can. There are 352 days in a year. Going over 1 or 2 days isn't going to ruin your progress for the rest of the year. I look at my weekly numbers. As long as I can stay at a 3500 calorie deficit, I don't stress much.
Aren't there 365 days in a year?
ha ha ha I think I started to type 52 weeks and decided to do 365 days instead and my brain was like *kitten* you. lol
So what you're saying is...you DON'T live on Venus.
P.s. what does "kitten" mean? I keep seeing that...
It's a swear word filter. Type a post with the F word in it and it will get changed to 'kitten' after you post it.2 -
(P.S. Ann, I sent you a message a couple of weeks ago... if you have time, would you mind taking a look? I was after some advice... Thanks!)
@SueSueDio - I'm very sorry, but there's nothing in my MFP in-box from you, and I don't normally delete things (and I strive to answer any/all reasonable & friendly inquiries, which I'm sure yours was). I tried to PM you to say this, and got an MFP "there was a problem with your request" error when I sent the message. Not sure what to do?!?
Everyone else: Sorry for the temporary thread hijack - I hope you'll understand why I posted this here under the circumstances. Apologies!1 -
(P.S. Ann, I sent you a message a couple of weeks ago... if you have time, would you mind taking a look? I was after some advice... Thanks!)
@SueSueDio - I'm very sorry, but there's nothing in my MFP in-box from you, and I don't normally delete things (and I strive to answer any/all reasonable & friendly inquiries, which I'm sure yours was). I tried to PM you to say this, and got an MFP "there was a problem with your request" error when I sent the message. Not sure what to do?!?
Everyone else: Sorry for the temporary thread hijack - I hope you'll understand why I posted this here under the circumstances. Apologies!
@AnnPT77 Weird...! I just sent another one, didn't get an error message so hopefully it went through this time!
We apologise for the interruption (it was just one day! ) and now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion... 3 -
It's up to you, really, and how you handle the aftermath (or beforemath). Some people can do it every other day and be okay, other people will barely take any days off dieting for their own valid reasons. Where I personally fall is that this "one day" is fine whenever it comes and as often as it comes as long as I know exactly what I'm doing and it's not out of control.
- In the holiday season I take "planned gains" where I allow myself to gain up to what would take me no more than one month to re-lose.
- When I've gone a long time without breaking my deficit and something sudden comes up I shrug it off as "one day" and don't make up for it as long as it doesn't happen more than 1-2 times a month.
- When I have a stressful project and need to keep focused and fueled I take a strict maintenance break.
- When there is something like a family wedding (this tends to mean about 1-3 get togethers every couple of weeks for a good while leading up to the wedding, then congratulations and more social visits later) I just balance my calories accordingly eating less and exercising more during the days that don't have any social obligations.
- If a friend I haven't seen in years visits from abroad, we get together 2-4 times a week. I just make sure my dieting strategy during that time involves alternate day fasting.
- For random outings and gatherings, random birthdays or parties I bank in advance, follow by a fast day, or have smaller other meals (or none at all) that day, however I feel like doing it. Often accompanied by increased activity if possible.
For me it's not a question of how often, but rather a question of what rate of yearly weight loss would make me happy without hindering me socially? Once I got the answer to that I knew exactly how strict or how lenient some days can be for me. I have decided that 40 ±10 pounds a year (a moving target that will get closer to the lower end as I get smaller) is a good comfortable target, so I balance my days accordingly. It doesn't matter how often my "one days" come as long as my overall loss is within that target. It's actually much easier than it looks, because I have about as many days where I'm undereating as I do overeating, yet many of us tend to shrug those off as "no big deal, extra credit", but higher days feel like a bigger deal and we tend to spotlight them more for some (understandable) reason.
Between overeating, undereating, and 2 family weddings this year I have lost 42 pounds since February (my "year" starts in February because that's when most of the celebrations end for me), so even with my planned December gain I'm well within schedule this year and could just maintain till next February if I choose and still be happy, I don't feel like I need it yet though.5 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I've had 4 "it's just one day" in the past 2 weeks and I'm 2.6 lb above my weight 30 days ago. That tells me that 4 of them in 2 weeks is too danged frequent.
I think this is where people need to be a little careful, particularly in the weight loss phase. When I was actively losing weight I kept the "it's just one day" to actual occasions...legit holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, etc...also my birthday...this is a handful of occasions that are pretty meaningless in the bigger picture. If people are having "it's just one day" days multiple times per week then it's not really "just one day"...
Here are a couple "legit" things I'm thinking about:
1) DH and I have 5 "legit holidays" within 3 wks in December, so it can happen -- both bdays, anniversary, xmas & new years. I make a concerted effort to maintain, but celebrating wholeheartedly is genuinely important to me, too.
2) Families that don't all live together spread the celebrations over time and space. I.e. celebrate with wife's family on "x" and husband's on "y."
3) Divorce further spreads out celebrations. We used to have "big happy family celebrations" when the kids were small. Maybe age has made everyone more honest. No one can really stand having my divorced parents at the same table (although individually they are lovely people and their spouses are more so). I'd honestly rather cook two separate meals and host 2 different events.
Obviously no one is holding a gun to my head insisting I load up my plate at each celebration, and I can moderate it, but it is not "just one meal" or even "just one day" and I cannot honestly say the celebration is "legit" with some family but not with others.
Boy, this is starting to sound whiney. Sorry. I'm thinking about it because I'm menu planning for the week my brother's family will be staying with us starting Sunday. It's a lot of meals for a lot of people. It always turns into a IDGAF blowout with my brother. I'm also in week 12 of a cut and feeling deficit weary. Its a small deficit, so it feels lame to admit that. My goal is to stay in the deficit 2 more weeks then maintain through December. I'm several pounds heavier now than heading into the holidays last year, so I'm more mindful. I appreciate amusedmonkey's post, too. Thanks.3 -
(P.S. Ann, I sent you a message a couple of weeks ago... if you have time, would you mind taking a look? I was after some advice... Thanks!)
@SueSueDio - I'm very sorry, but there's nothing in my MFP in-box from you, and I don't normally delete things (and I strive to answer any/all reasonable & friendly inquiries, which I'm sure yours was). I tried to PM you to say this, and got an MFP "there was a problem with your request" error when I sent the message. Not sure what to do?!?
Everyone else: Sorry for the temporary thread hijack - I hope you'll understand why I posted this here under the circumstances. Apologies!
@AnnPT77 Weird...! I just sent another one, didn't get an error message so hopefully it went through this time!
We apologise for the interruption (it was just one day! ) and now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion...
@SueSueDio: Still nothing. Sorry. Try friend request first if you like.0 -
Not to butt in you guys. But the not getting messages and recipients not receiving them has happened to me a few times. Becoming 'Friends' resolved the issue.1
This discussion has been closed.
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