I give up. Seriously ...can't do this.

Fuzzipeg · November 2016

I think if possible I would try another doctor. OK so as far as she is concerned you are ok. You sound as if you need a supportive doctor who will run a raft of blood tests, if only to prove to you she is right. Hormonal balances change at menopause, if all is well you should be able to loose weight like anyone else.

It concerns me, you say you can't eat much because you get full so fast, do you also get indigestion, re-flux or other digestive issues? It could be worth taking this information to your doctor instead of just saying about your weight. These symptoms can all be linked and sorted.

shadowfax_c11 · November 2016

Menopause isn't your problem. Your Dr says you are in a healthy weight range. Therefore you don't need to lose weight.

You are not 25 years old. You are not going to have the body of someone who is. That said it sounds like instead of losing weight what you need to be doing is building muscle.

Your friend was significantly over weight. So why would her loss be a competition for you? You have totally different bodies. Be happy for your friend. You do you.

snickerscharlie · November 2016

I think you're doing really well, OP. And yes, we all have times when we get discouraged.

Please keep going and in a few months when you reach goal weight, you will look back at this thread and be so glad you kept at it.

3474449k · November 2016

jackiedruga wrote: »

I'm 52, and while not seriously overweight (5'3, 134) Menopause has not been kind to me. 3 years ago, I went from a mobile moving about job to my dream career of being a writer full time. During this time I entered menopause., stopped moving about and gained a lot of weight, especially that damn back and tummy fat. I carry a tire around my middle.

I'm healthy, the doc says I fall into the normal weight range, just need to exercise and lose the tummy.

I can't do this. I weigh my food, watch my calorie intake, walk every day now for two hours. 3x a week I exercise (Sit ups, dance, etc) I never consume more than 1100 cals a day and average 1050. I rarely do sweets, ever, hate candy, avoid cheese, and drink black coffee and water (I don't log these).

I eat very little because I get full so fast. In this third MFP round 35 days later, I have lost 7 pounds but only 1.5 inches. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I see no change. I buy big clothes to cover everything.

What is making this worse for me is my friend, same age 52 started MFP 18 months ago, but since January, she has lost 65 pounds (240-169). She doesn't exercise, works part time, ends her night with a high cal sweet treat and accredits her weight loss to fat free dressing and not exercising to avoid muscle weight gain. She shares her food diary with me as motivation. I couldn't possibly consume what she does. The last week alone, her snacks were as much as my daily intake, yet she still lost 3 pounds. She's defying all logic to me.

I know it's not a competition, but it's hard to go to dinner with someone who eats a whole steak, potato, salad with ranch and desert and boasts weight loss while i have grilled fish and a salad and fight to keep from gaining.

I just wanna say screw it and quit and buy bigger clothes.

Sorry for the long rant, this is the most discouraged I have felt in so long. I got a text she lost more weight, while I skipped most of Thanksgiving dinner to stay under calories.

Any advice or am I just overreacting and emotional. Damn menopause.

Things I've noticed that hinder weight loss:
1. People give up too much good fat: Several people I know have plateaued and when they add a little good fat to their diet they start losing again. I use olive oil to cook my eggs, 1 tbsp of peanut butter on toast regularly, buy full fat yogurt and 4% cottage cheese.
2. Eat too few calories: This causes your metabolism to slow down to conserve the calories. 1100 calories is too few for the amount of exercise you do. I stay at 1200 if I don't exercise and 1300 to 1400 if I do. I lose 2 lbs a week religiously. You need to eat more to lose weight.
3. Make your diet too strict: I am careful and mostly eat healthy, but occasionally I'll give up some of my healthy calories for an ice cream cone or a piece of pie. I just walk extra to make sure I don't gain. On Thanksgiving I went over on my calories and just went right back to being good. Two days later I had lost a pound.

Good luck. I can only tell you that if you keep trying it will show up. If your 2 hours of walking everyday becomes hard to do, please don't give up the walking altogether. There's nothing better you can do for yourself.

sympha01 · November 2016

brandiuntz wrote: »

You've made excellent progress. Why would you quit when you've done so well?

This. OP, you said you know it's not a competition. Keep repeating that to yourself until you actually believe it.

Have you ever heard the expression "Comparison is the thief of joy"? Because it is.

Also, for whatever it's worth, as a former very obese person I'll just throw this out there. It used to make me pretty mad when I was still fat and my comparatively "skinny" friends (anyone with <20 vanity pounds to lose -- because when you have >50, >100, >150 lbs to lose anyone who wants to lose that much is "skinny" to you) would compare themselves and their progress to mine. Maybe it looked "easy" to them from the outside, but it bloody well wasn't easy by a long shot. And that kind of thinking always made me suspect people were, on some level, judging that I somehow didn't "deserve" to lose the weight because I wasn't making myself miserable enough.

It is not necessary to make yourself (or other people) miserable to work towards a healthy weight over a reasonable amount of time.

3474449k · November 2016

deannalfisher wrote: »

Noel_57 wrote: »

Increasing your calories to somehow "boost" weight loss is not scientific.

nope, not scientific, but there is anecdotal evidence - personally, I think its because I ate a lot more than I thought so when I started logging it was eye opening - but working with a dietician helped too

Yes there is evidence. If you lower your calories too much, your metabolism slows down. You're right about the ancedotal evidence. I've seen it often. Also if you cut out too much fat you will have problems

JustMissTracy · November 2016

Grey_1 wrote: »

Alatariel75 wrote: »

You're overreacting.

7lbs in 35 days is more than a lb a week - that's excellent progress. 1.5 inches is a bloody decent loss in that time. When you're at a healthy weight, it comes off slower - many people at that weight would be looking at a 0.5lb loss a week.

Your friend is losing faster and can eat more because she is bigger and has a higher TDEE. It's easier and faster losing weight when you have a lot to lose - you're already at a healthy weight. And you said it - it's not a competition.

Stop comparing yourself to your friend - it's apples and oranges and it's clearly getting to you.

My first 8-10lbs came off pretty quickly, maybe 2 months once I got serious. The last lousy 4-6lbs took much longer. That was measuring, eating 1500-1800 calories a day with a 2400 or so TDEE (Total daily energy expenditure) and it got a little depressing to be honest. But I've since settled in, am extremely active at 57 years old and just finished replying to a thread of my own thanking folks here for their support

Stay with it, modify your program with advice gotten here, as needed, and try to not be so hard on yourself. You're likely doing better than you think and are just operating under some unrealistic expectations.

This!

lynn_glenmont · November 2016

jackiedruga wrote: »

I use a food scale, I am very meticulous about weighing items. The only time I don't weigh is when I consume,let's say a single serving of popcorn, I'll scan it.

Are you sure that the things you are scanning are really a single serving? If you're talking about a microwave bag of popcorn, the small ones are probably labeled as a single serving (usually about 100 calories), but the larger bags are labeled as multiple servings. Scanning, however, will generally only log a single serving.

MelodyandBarbells · November 2016

Since you're at a healthy weight, you should consider resistance training because it will increase the chances that you'll be a bit more satisfied with the visual indicators of your progress. Can you tell where you lost the seven pounds? Check out this awesome thread, by the way:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1161603/so-you-want-a-nice-stomach/p1

tiptoethruthetulips · November 2016

jackiedruga wrote: »

I'm 52, and while not seriously overweight (5'3, 134)

So at 5'3 and 134 you are not actually overweight, BMI is 23.7.

Apart from being impatient to lose more quicly (1lb per week at your lowish weight is excellent) - what is your actual goal weight or size? Is it possible you have unrealistic expectations? What do you see yourself as when you look in the mirror at your current weight?

Machka9 · November 2016

jackiedruga wrote: »

I can't do this. I weigh my food, watch my calorie intake, walk every day now for two hours. 3x a week I exercise (Sit ups, dance, etc) I never consume more than 1100 cals a day and average 1050. I rarely do sweets, ever, hate candy, avoid cheese, and drink black coffee and water (I don't log these).

I eat very little because I get full so fast. In this third MFP round 35 days later, I have lost 7 pounds ....

What is making this worse for me is my friend, same age 52 started MFP 18 months ago, but since January, she has lost 65 pounds ...

1) Up your calories to net 1200. Weigh your food. Log carefully. Exercise and eat half your exercise calories back and eat only foods you like.

2) 7 lbs in 35 days is good. That's 1.4 lbs/week.

3) January was almost a year ago. Your friend lost 65 lbs over 47 weeks. That's at a rate of 1.4 lbs/week. Oh look ...

And menopause is not the problem. If it were, I wouldn't have lost 55 lbs last year.

amusedmonkey · November 2016

What exactly are you expecting? I weigh much more than you do and I would be ecstatic if I lost 7 lbs a month. If I were at your weight and lost 7 lbs and a couple of inches every 3-4 months I would be ecstatic. If I were at your weight and lost 7 lb in a month I would get worried, deem it too fast and reign it in (by a lot!). At your friend's weight she would lose much faster than you because she burns more just by existing, and that's a fact. If you want to lose that fast, gain enough to be her weight and watch the pounds drop.

I feel your issue is not lack of progress, but the effort to progress ratio. You feel like you are running yourself into the ground and expect to get more in return. There are two ways to go about it, grin and bear it and accept the unfair trade, or what I would personally do, go easier, more flexible, more sustainable, and when the effort doesn't feel overbearing any results would feel amazing for how relatively easy it is.

Roaringgael · November 2016

You're doing fine. You could eat a bit more. I'm 57, we just don't need to eat as much as younger people. You haven't got much to lose - it always comes off slower when you are closer.
Your weight loss is fab by the way. How fast did you think you would lose it?
Some weeks I have lost nothing - for weeks at a time.

jadelois · November 2016

sympha01 wrote: »

brandiuntz wrote: »

You've made excellent progress. Why would you quit when you've done so well?

This. OP, you said you know it's not a competition. Keep repeating that to yourself until you actually believe it.

Have you ever heard the expression "Comparison is the thief of joy"? Because it is.

Also, for whatever it's worth, as a former very obese person I'll just throw this out there. It used to make me pretty mad when I was still fat and my comparatively "skinny" friends (anyone with <20 vanity pounds to lose -- because when you have >50, >100, >150 lbs to lose anyone who wants to lose that much is "skinny" to you) would compare themselves and their progress to mine. Maybe it looked "easy" to them from the outside, but it bloody well wasn't easy by a long shot. And that kind of thinking always made me suspect people were, on some level, judging that I somehow didn't "deserve" to lose the weight because I wasn't making myself miserable enough.

It is not necessary to make yourself (or other people) miserable to work towards a healthy weight over a reasonable amount of time.

I so agree with the statement! I lost around 30lb before suffering a bout of depression during which time I was losing around 4lb a week because i wasn't eating. Nothing about that time of my life was easy. Eventually i broke. Started on meds and over the course of 9 months managed to put the majority of that back on, partly meds partly the fact i thought i was happier when i was bigger (true, but not because i was bigger). When you consistently lose big chunks of weight (because you have it to lose) then the weight loss slowing down completely throws you and if you're not mentally ready for it then you usually throw the towel in at that point.
Your weight may be coming off slowly but you have so little to lose, sometimes your body is at a happy place and its your composition you need to look at working on, as someone else suggested progressive lifting plans are a good idea and bodyweight exercises. Don't be tempted to undereat though, healthy fats, proteins and some carbs for energy then your doing it right but also be realistic about the fact that our bodies change as we age.
Good luck

(and don't give up!)

PAV8888 · November 2016

You're absolutely right that you cannot do this.

You cannot continue at the extremely high effective deficit and break-net rate of weight loss you've put yourself on without losing excess lean mass and making yourself miserable enough to quit.

You also cannot continue thinking that 7lbs and 1.5" in 30 days is "slow" performance when in fact it is dangerously fast and double the speed it SHOULD be for someone at a normal weight like you are.

Your 1424 Sedentary TDEE means that eating 1200 Cal a day would generate only a small loss (deficit of 224 Cal a day or ~0.4lbs a week. HOWEVER, you are NOT SEDENTARY by the TDEE method because your TDEE INCLUDES the exercise and walking that you do. And as is evidenced by your rate of loss and based on what you say you're eating, your actual deficit is actually closer to 850 Cal a day.

Which brings us into what you SHOULD do.

And what you SHOULD do is accept that your rate of loss OUGHT to be slow. In fact it ought to be so slow that you won't even know you're making any progress. Which is why a trending weight application is recommended to help you visualise the progress you're making.

Based on your current rate of loss and assuming you're correct in that you're eating 1100, your current TDEE is about 2000 Cal. Which means you should be eating approximately 1750 Cal a day for a loss of 0.5lbs a week.

Based on what you've said, you should explore which of the following suits you better: Reducing your cardio and your TDEE and eating a bit less than the 1750 I suggest. For example reducing some of your gym or walk time and only eating 1500 Cal a day while having a TDEE of about 1750. Or you could continue with the exercise activities you do and possibly even add strength training, while fuelling your body more appropriately and providing it with the energy you need to do all this activity.

BE HAPPY for your friend. As someone else mentioned, if you want to safely experience the "ease" of loss your friend is experiencing all you have to do is gain 100lbs and then reduce your calories and watch the lbs fly.

AND be very happy with your progress and your results so far.

snowflake954 · November 2016

Whew--so much great advice. I just know this, you should not be miserable and should be able to work in a treat now and again. This is going to take you a while for all the reasons given above. Be patient, try some new things--like lifting. I'm almost out of menopause, but it was hell, and it's hard to deal with it and restrictive weightloss too. You can do it--just re-evaluate and keep going.

Also take measurements weekly. That way you can see your progress over time.

courtneyfabulous · November 2016

You are making progress, I don't know why you can't see that. Maybe you need to take progress pictures to compare those.

You might be eating too little- eating less than BMR is counterproductive to weight loss. Your calorie intake sounds way too low to me.

Your friend can eat a lot and lose weight because she is larger. You could probably eat more and lose weight too actually, but not as much as your friend.

You probably have stress weight- that tire around the middle thing could just be where you naturally hold weight, but it kind of sounds like stress weight placement- too much cortisol from stress makes weight go to the mid section. Maybe try to relax and cut out coffee and do some yoga.

I'd also suggest making sure you eat plenty of protein and do some strength training. Types of exercise you do matters, and macros (macronutrients - protein, carbs, and fats) matter.

"I can't do this" is a terrible outlook. Wether you think you can or you can't, you're right.

courtneyfabulous · November 2016

Look into body recomposition rather than weight loss- you are a healthy weight, you probably want to stay the same weight but gain muscle and reduce body fat percentage.

Also your friend should watch out, avoiding exercise to avoid muscle gain is stupid. She should actually be exercising, eating protein, and trying as hard as she can to keep her muscle. You can't actually gain muscle while in a deficit/losing weight anyways, but you can lose muscle quite easily and that's a BAD thing. Ideally you want to lose fat and keep muscle.

I'm not sure why women are so afraid of muscle!!! I look like I've lost 30 pounds when I've only lost 10 because I work out to improve my muscle tone and preserve my muscle during weight loss so I've lost 10 pounds of mostly fat instead of a combo of muscle and fat and water... I look better at 155 pounds now than I did at 140 pounds in the past because I have more muscle and less body fat. Body composition makes a big difference to physique- more than just overall body weight does.

courtneyfabulous · November 2016

Check this out- this isn't me, it's a girl I follow in Instagram- but she weighs more on the picture to the right, but she looks way better- why? Because she has MORE MUSCLE and less fat. That's the difference body composition can make. And this also shows that muscle is beautiful, not something to be feared. Show this to your friend who is afraid of exercise.

LivingtheLeanDream · November 2016

You are not in any way overweight, so the fact that you've already lost 7lbs in just over a month is fantastic!! that is great progress. My only issue is that you're not eating that much so that might be making you feel miserable (I know it would for me). I'm a little bit smaller and found when I was losing that 1600-1800 cals meant an 1/2lb loss a week. To lose weight we don't have to half starve ourselves and be miserable.

I give up. Seriously ...can't do this.

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