Is it possible to be positive all of the time?
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LiftingLady5 wrote: »Positive people are good. People who are unrealistically positive are annoying and should be quiet.
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Positive? *kitten* No.0
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I like to think I'm quite positive. It's not that I don't get annoyed or irritated....I do quite easily actually, but I also just get over it easily. I guess, more than positive, I'd say I'm easy-going.
You can't control the bad in life. Also, whatever is irritating you...chances are there's much more serious stuff going on in the world. So keeping perspective is good.
Life is short. And being happy is more fun than being a downer. So I try to find the humor or fun in things as much as possible.
Also @Timshel_ is my hero1 -
And I do think it is possible to learn to be more positive... For example, for a while I was starting to get really road-ragey about the pointlessly slow drivers around my town. I would always feel irritated/angry at people whenever I was driving. So I forced myself to go without my car for a month. It was so damn frustrating walking and taking the bus everywhere, that when I got my car back I had a new appreciation for the efficiency of it.
I think mindfulness is key. Focusing on one behavior/aspect at a time.
Or, you know, just be Eeyore or Rabbit. To each their own
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A family member was in the car with me when a car cut in front and very, very nearly caused a bad accident. He was upset I wasn't mad!
I had to explain to him that I wasn't giving them the power to ruin my day. There was no accident, so no need to get all crazy. Later, when I passed them, I said, something like "you need to pay better attention when you're driving" and that was that.
I once had a stranger tell me he was going to rape me and cut me into pieces. I told him to pull up his pants and have some respect. He did.
Next level calm. And not normal, I know. It's a gift, because I used to be quite high strung.1 -
^ You seemed both next level calm and positive in this thread, if I remember. Right around pages 5 and 6
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10460729/weird-gender-attraction-question/p62 -
Okay, so maybe I'm not so positive...
But I am good at FIFA, so I have that going for me. And I can sometimes stay on my skateboard. And I can down inhuman amounts of peanut butter despite how sticky it is
*Runs away*1 -
^ You seemed both calm and positive in this thread, if I remember. Right around pages 5 and 6
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10460729/weird-gender-attraction-question/p6
Exactly.
Here's a summary in pics:
Was it you? Were like:
And I was like:
Or maybe more like:
Have a nice night!
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Impossible for me I always expect the worst and hope for the best.0
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ClubSilencio wrote: »Ever meet someone who is positive all of the time and think to yourself, "I wanna be like that, too."
Whenever I try to do it though I usually crap out after 2.5 days. I love talking *kitten* too much. :laugh:
Do you guys think being super positive 24/7 is something that can be conditioned or is it only reserved for those whom are genetically predisposed? I work with a guy who is like this and I swear he must be from another planet. Makes me wonder if I should just accept myself for who I am and work with that.
ClubSilencio wrote: »Ever meet someone who is positive all of the time and think to yourself, "I wanna be like that, too."
Whenever I try to do it though I usually crap out after 2.5 days. I love talking *kitten* too much. :laugh:
Do you guys think being super positive 24/7 is something that can be conditioned or is it only reserved for those whom are genetically predisposed? I work with a guy who is like this and I swear he must be from another planet. Makes me wonder if I should just accept myself for who I am and work with that.ClubSilencio wrote: »Ever meet someone who is positive all of the time and think to yourself, "I wanna be like that, too."
Whenever I try to do it though I usually crap out after 2.5 days. I love talking *kitten* too much. :laugh:
Do you guys think being super positive 24/7 is something that can be conditioned or is it only reserved for those whom are genetically predisposed? I work with a guy who is like this and I swear he must be from another planet. Makes me wonder if I should just accept myself for who I am and work with that.
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Yes you should accept yourself for who you are. Don't try to be like anyone. Be yourself. we all go through ups and downs no matter what we put out there. No one can be positive all of the time. But you can sure think that way.1
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I'm working on it but seriously I can go from being super positive to horribly depressed in the blink of an eye, so... I've been called negative a lot. I think I'm more a 'realistic' kind of person... I try to enjoy the good things in life but when something bums me out, it bums me out! I always see the bright side, but seeing it and actually feeling that it makes up for the bad, well... that's another issue.
And I like real people. Those fake people who only post all the perfect stuff on Facebook annoy me to no end. I know some people who try really hard to be positive but they're also real and need to vent sometimes, and that's good! But no, I don't think I've ever really met someone who was a completely positive person.0 -
I don't know if I would say I know people that are always positive. I don't think that's healthy because it's unbalanced, just as being happy all the time is impossible. But I know people who are deeply introspective, and use that to understand their feelings and to see the positive sides of very negative things. I admire them so much for having the balls to think things through rationally.
I also have no time for people who say 'I'm not negative, just realistic.' Generally that's just a BS excuse for them to complain about everything and how hard everything is for them. I think that the more you complain (to yourself or other people) the more miserable you become. It's like a snowball effect.0 -
Most people think I'm too positive and happy and I must suppress feelings.
I decided when I was a kid people have enough issues of their own why burden them wirh mine as well so I deal with them and move on. also why give someone the power to ruin your day or a give thst power to negative feelings?
Being happy is fun. 2 -
Most people think I'm too positive and happy and I must suppress feelings.
I decided when I was a kid people have enough issues of their own why burden them wirh mine as well so I deal with them and move on. also why give someone the power to ruin your day or a give thst power to negative feelings?
Being happy is fun.
Correct.
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. -
Psalm 16:321 -
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I don't know if I would say I know people that are always positive. I don't think that's healthy because it's unbalanced, just as being happy all the time is impossible. But I know people who are deeply introspective, and use that to understand their feelings and to see the positive sides of very negative things. I admire them so much for having the balls to think things through rationally.
I also have no time for people who say 'I'm not negative, just realistic.' Generally that's just a BS excuse for them to complain about everything and how hard everything is for them. I think that the more you complain (to yourself or other people) the more miserable you become. It's like a snowball effect.
I agree with the bold.1 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I don't know if I would say I know people that are always positive. I don't think that's healthy because it's unbalanced, just as being happy all the time is impossible. But I know people who are deeply introspective, and use that to understand their feelings and to see the positive sides of very negative things. I admire them so much for having the balls to think things through rationally.
I also have no time for people who say 'I'm not negative, just realistic.' Generally that's just a BS excuse for them to complain about everything and how hard everything is for them. I think that the more you complain (to yourself or other people) the more miserable you become. It's like a snowball effect.
I agree with the bold.
Really not my experience. Being realistic means seeing both the good and the bad, and talking about both the good and the bad. Negative people only see the bad. And sure, sometimes the bad outweighs the good... but often it's the other way around too.
The thing is, personally, I don't always talk about the positive stuff because I don't like boasting/bragging (as it's not something I usually appreciate from people I don't really know well - like the people I mentioned above on FB who only post to brag about how wonderful their life is). But unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people only seem to focus on the negative things that people say... Like it doesn't really matter if someone is happy and laughing and making jokes, because as soon as they say something that isn't positive, they are labelled as being negative... I don't think you're necessarily a negative person just because you don't think that the world is all kittens and rainbows. I have a friend who talks a lot about her struggles, for example, but I would really not label her as a negative person just because of it.. she just talks about that stuff because we're friends.
(as soon as I saw that greyed out name, I knew she'd be making some passive aggressive comments about me.. and I'm right once again. Surprise, surprise (that's what being realistic is, by the way!)).0 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I don't know if I would say I know people that are always positive. I don't think that's healthy because it's unbalanced, just as being happy all the time is impossible. But I know people who are deeply introspective, and use that to understand their feelings and to see the positive sides of very negative things. I admire them so much for having the balls to think things through rationally.
I also have no time for people who say 'I'm not negative, just realistic.' Generally that's just a BS excuse for them to complain about everything and how hard everything is for them. I think that the more you complain (to yourself or other people) the more miserable you become. It's like a snowball effect.
I agree with the bold.
Really not my experience. Being realistic means seeing both the good and the bad, and talking about both the good and the bad. Negative people only see the bad. And sure, sometimes the bad outweighs the good... but often it's the other way around too.
The thing is, personally, I don't always talk about the positive stuff because I don't like boasting/bragging (as it's not something I usually appreciate from people I don't really know well - like the people I mentioned above on FB who only post to brag about how wonderful their life is). But unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people only seem to focus on the negative things that people say... Like it doesn't really matter if someone is happy and laughing and making jokes, because as soon as they say something that isn't positive, they are labelled as being negative... I don't think you're necessarily a negative person just because you don't think that the world is all kittens and rainbows. I have a friend who talks a lot about her struggles, for example, but I would really not label her as a negative person just because of it.. she just talks about that stuff because we're friends.
(as soon as I saw that greyed out name, I knew she'd be making some passive aggressive comments about me.. and I'm right once again. Surprise, surprise (that's what being realistic is, by the way!)).
I agree that sharing struggles is not negativity, especially if you are getting support or advice.
Complaining constantly is negativity. I've learned from personal experience that complaining about stuff is draining and often takes more energy than addressing the problem. So instead complaining about whatever it is, just do it. Then you've accomplished 2 things - the task and a better attitude. Sometimes you have to vent. That's natural.
As for Facebook, run, Forrest, Run!
Kidding aside, as much as people gossip and backbite, people are not happy to give people more crap for people to talk about. Facebook is the highlight reel, and people compare their entire lives with someone elses highlights. Not realistic.
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I don't know if I would say I know people that are always positive. I don't think that's healthy because it's unbalanced, just as being happy all the time is impossible. But I know people who are deeply introspective, and use that to understand their feelings and to see the positive sides of very negative things. I admire them so much for having the balls to think things through rationally.
I also have no time for people who say 'I'm not negative, just realistic.' Generally that's just a BS excuse for them to complain about everything and how hard everything is for them. I think that the more you complain (to yourself or other people) the more miserable you become. It's like a snowball effect.
I agree with the bold.
Really not my experience. Being realistic means seeing both the good and the bad, and talking about both the good and the bad. Negative people only see the bad. And sure, sometimes the bad outweighs the good... but often it's the other way around too.
The thing is, personally, I don't always talk about the positive stuff because I don't like boasting/bragging (as it's not something I usually appreciate from people I don't really know well - like the people I mentioned above on FB who only post to brag about how wonderful their life is). But unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people only seem to focus on the negative things that people say... Like it doesn't really matter if someone is happy and laughing and making jokes, because as soon as they say something that isn't positive, they are labelled as being negative... I don't think you're necessarily a negative person just because you don't think that the world is all kittens and rainbows. I have a friend who talks a lot about her struggles, for example, but I would really not label her as a negative person just because of it.. she just talks about that stuff because we're friends.
(as soon as I saw that greyed out name, I knew she'd be making some passive aggressive comments about me.. and I'm right once again. Surprise, surprise (that's what being realistic is, by the way!)).
I agree that sharing struggles is not negativity, especially if you are getting support or advice.
Complaining constantly is negativity. I've learned from personal experience that complaining about stuff is draining and often takes more energy than addressing the problem. So instead complaining about whatever it is, just do it. Then you've accomplished 2 things - the task and a better attitude. Sometimes you have to vent. That's natural.
As for Facebook, run, Forrest, Run!
Kidding aside, as much as people gossip and backbite, people are not happy to give people more crap for people to talk about. Facebook is the highlight reel, and people compare their entire lives with someone elses highlights. Not realistic.
Good point about accomplishing 2 things. But that's the thing. People that complain all the time don't even realise they're doing it. It becomes their personality. And I agree it's very draining.
As for the 'poor me' complaint of the person you quoted, I blocked her a long time ago because she's always complaining and/or playing the victim. Not surprising that she thinks my comment was a personal attack on her though.1 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I don't know if I would say I know people that are always positive. I don't think that's healthy because it's unbalanced, just as being happy all the time is impossible. But I know people who are deeply introspective, and use that to understand their feelings and to see the positive sides of very negative things. I admire them so much for having the balls to think things through rationally.
I also have no time for people who say 'I'm not negative, just realistic.' Generally that's just a BS excuse for them to complain about everything and how hard everything is for them. I think that the more you complain (to yourself or other people) the more miserable you become. It's like a snowball effect.
I agree with the bold.
Really not my experience. Being realistic means seeing both the good and the bad, and talking about both the good and the bad. Negative people only see the bad. And sure, sometimes the bad outweighs the good... but often it's the other way around too.
The thing is, personally, I don't always talk about the positive stuff because I don't like boasting/bragging (as it's not something I usually appreciate from people I don't really know well - like the people I mentioned above on FB who only post to brag about how wonderful their life is). But unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people only seem to focus on the negative things that people say... Like it doesn't really matter if someone is happy and laughing and making jokes, because as soon as they say something that isn't positive, they are labelled as being negative... I don't think you're necessarily a negative person just because you don't think that the world is all kittens and rainbows. I have a friend who talks a lot about her struggles, for example, but I would really not label her as a negative person just because of it.. she just talks about that stuff because we're friends.
(as soon as I saw that greyed out name, I knew she'd be making some passive aggressive comments about me.. and I'm right once again. Surprise, surprise (that's what being realistic is, by the way!)).
I agree that sharing struggles is not negativity, especially if you are getting support or advice.
Complaining constantly is negativity. I've learned from personal experience that complaining about stuff is draining and often takes more energy than addressing the problem. So instead complaining about whatever it is, just do it. Then you've accomplished 2 things - the task and a better attitude. Sometimes you have to vent. That's natural.
As for Facebook, run, Forrest, Run!
Kidding aside, as much as people gossip and backbite, people are not happy to give people more crap for people to talk about. Facebook is the highlight reel, and people compare their entire lives with someone elses highlights. Not realistic.
Agreed.
Honestly though, I've never met anyone who complains all the time. I don't know, maybe it's just the way people look at others too? I don't really know how to explain it, but when someone accuses someone else of being negative, that's also a pretty negative way of looking at things... like they're the one being negative for only noticing the negative stuff.
Or does it really bother those 'positive people' that much when someone complains about something that they actually take notice of it? I really never do... for me it's just part of conversation and things people tell each other. And most of the time, people who complain about something have a good reason to... it's not my place to tell them how they should feel. I haven't been in their shoes, and I know what it's like to be upset about something. Kinda reminds me of my mom and her 'someone out there has it worse than you' speeches that really only show a total lack of empathy.
So... do people who consider others negative just really lack empathy?
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