Question for Men (Ya, don't hate)
Replies
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NorthCascades wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
Only when you're trying to get some in the first place. Sex is wonderful, but there's more to life, too.
Fantastic! 0 -
I have female friends that I don't have any sexual desire towards. Then, I have some that I do have an attraction for but I don't pursue it. It's just a natural thing to have a physical "attraction" to attractive people. Or to develop an attraction based on personality. So, you can be friends with the opposite sex. I think it's case by case.7
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NorthCascades wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
Only when you're trying to get some in the first place. Sex is wonderful, but there's more to life, too.
please tell the younger youths1 -
why would you be friends?1
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Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost all my male friends have never thought sexually about me. That's gross. Those dudes are like my brothers.
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In my past experiences, there is always some sort of sexual tension between friends of the opposite sex. I think to some degree there is something there that attracted you to this friend in the first place.
Setting boundaries very early on, sets the stage for the relationship..
If one wants more than the other can deliver then usually the relationship short lived.. If all goes well, you have a friend for life.
This post spells out my thoughts on it better than I could although I am hesitant to paint everyone (nor every male/female relationship) with the same brush. I'm not even sure there is a right or wrong answer as much as it is simply an interesting topic to discuss.2 -
My two best friends are guys. I was in a relationship when I met them. I went through a couple of boyfriends and have since gotten married, and they've been there with me for all of it. The idea that the endgame for either of them was sleeping with me is ridiculous - if that was all they wanted, they would have bailed a long time ago. We've all be through too much together, and we've been each other's rocks through dark periods.
I do have other guy friends that I see infrequently and in "safer" settings like a restaurant rather than alone at their house. I don't have the same level of trust or comfort with them, and while I don't *think* they'd be disrespectful, I don't know them as well. I do think there's a lot of guys out there who value sex more than friendship, and I've been burned in the past by being overly trusting.
My husband's best friend is a woman. She was married when they met, then got divorced. He misread her desire to spend a lot of time with him during that difficult time as romantic interest, and she broke his heart, but they got through it and rebuilt a strong platonic friendship. She was the best woman at our wedding, and one of my guy friends was my man of honor.
I'm not jealous of my husband's friend, he's not jealous of my friends, my best friend's girlfriend isn't jealous of me, my husband's best friend's husband isn't jealous of him... We all know each other and hang out together. When I tell people this I get weird reactions, like they can't believe this utopia exists, but we all have strong relationships built on honesty and transparency.2 -
KrazyDaizy wrote: »Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost all my male friends have never thought sexually about me. That's gross. Those dudes are like my brothers.
You would be totally surprised at who thinks of you sexually...don't underestimate yourself, friends or not!4 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »A lot of the responses lately on the threads make me feel like men only want male/female relationships that have potential for sex.
Depends on the guy. For me, I certainly am not friends with females always looking for ways to have sex with them. I have life long girl friends that I have never crossed that line, and never would, even though there are a few that are absolutely bangable in the physical sense. I do flirt a lot with just about every girl I know. Heck, I flirt with guys in a friendly way sometimes, but it's really all for not.
I do have a few acquaintances that I do think about sex. Like...a lot.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
People who pursue women only to bed them are sexual predators and are flawed individuals.
Very closeminded statement......
Some people don't want the emotions or the attachment.
[, biologically, sex is designed to be about emotions and attachment.
.... along with rubber bedsheets, handcuffs and gatorade
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_unsteady_ wrote: »chocolate_owl wrote: »My two best friends are guys. I was in a relationship when I met them. I went through a couple of boyfriends and have since gotten married, and they've been there with me for all of it. The idea that the endgame for either of them was sleeping with me is ridiculous - if that was all they wanted, they would have bailed a long time ago. We've all be through too much together, and we've been each other's rocks through dark periods.
I do have other guy friends that I see infrequently and in "safer" settings like a restaurant rather than alone at their house. I don't have the same level of trust or comfort with them, and while I don't *think* they'd be disrespectful, I don't know them as well. I do think there's a lot of guys out there who value sex more than friendship, and I've been burned in the past by being overly trusting.
My husband's best friend is a woman. She was married when they met, then got divorced. He misread her desire to spend a lot of time with him during that difficult time as romantic interest, and she broke his heart, but they got through it and rebuilt a strong platonic friendship. She was the best woman at our wedding, and one of my guy friends was my man of honor.
I'm not jealous of my husband's friend, he's not jealous of my friends, my best friend's girlfriend isn't jealous of me, my husband's best friend's husband isn't jealous of him... We all know each other and hang out together. When I tell people this I get weird reactions, like they can't believe this utopia exists, but we all have strong relationships built on honesty and transparency.
Like save by the Bell!
Never saw it, a bit before my time... Is it a pop culture crime to not have watched that show?0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
People who pursue women only to bed them are sexual predators and are flawed individuals.
Very closeminded statement......
Some people don't want the emotions or the attachment.
[, biologically, sex is designed to be about emotions and attachment.
.... along with rubber bedsheets, handcuffs and gatorade
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I think lot of it depends on the circumstances of your becoming friends. If you're both single when you guys meet then there's a much higher likelihood that he's wanted more at some point (and if you're still single, I'd wager he'd still be interested).
With that said, for the most part, I think that guys will still happily be friends with someone they're attracted to even if they know it won't lead anywhere.
I had a lot of very close female friends growing up (h.s./college) and I'd say there's a fairly large percentage that I'd have been interested in.
I've been married for a while now and obviously that's completely changed the nature of the relationship with female friends I've made since, haha.
Still, based on the responses on here, I think a lot of women on here would be surprised at how many of their single male friends would be 'interested' in them.5 -
I was out on a 'date' with this guy (who actually lived in my town) that I met on Tinder and after the date he walked me to my car and said "I'd hug you but you're in the friendzone now". I thought it was weird, but we stayed in communication as friends for about a month and then went out to dinner one night and out of the blue he just kissed me. It was pretty confusing, so I asked him if he only liked me as a friend or more than a friend - and since he never could give me a straight answer I just eventually stopped texting him back.
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NorthCascades wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
Only when you're trying to get some in the first place. Sex is wonderful, but there's more to life, too.
That's exactly right !
Wait.
Well, that might be correct....
I'm just having a very difficult time identifying those other things.
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For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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You already have a bedazzled vagina so I don't understand what you could possibly want from a "friendship" with another woman.
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Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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GleisnerBot wrote: »
Best.Gif.Evah1 -
Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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So you don't "get anything" out of the friendship itself? I thought what you got out of friendship was, "friendship."
Thanks for answering honestly.5 -
Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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KrazyDaizy wrote: »Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost all my male friends have never thought sexually about me. That's gross. Those dudes are like my brothers.
I'm thinking about it right now....
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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So you don't "get anything" out of the friendship itself? I thought what you got out of friendship was, "friendship."
Thanks for answering honestly.
I'm not a fan of people in general so...
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Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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No need to get offended or violent just because our opinions differ....
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I think about everyone sexually.5
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davidcliff wrote: »I have several good friends that are women, and I don't imagine what it would be like to sleep with any of them.
You just need to try harder.
Photoshop is your friend.1 -
Escloflowne wrote: »KrazyDaizy wrote: »Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost all my male friends have never thought sexually about me. That's gross. Those dudes are like my brothers.
I'm thinking about it right now....
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Escloflowne wrote: »Escloflowne wrote: »For me personally, I don't see the point of being friends with women if there is no possibility of a relationship, I would rather just avoid women if there is nothing I will get from the "friendship"
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No need to get offended or violent just because our opinions differ....
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