massage by a man or woman???? does it matter to you????

sixtyinchesoffury
sixtyinchesoffury Posts: 321 Member
edited November 14 in Health and Weight Loss
hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion :smile:

If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!
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Replies

  • newbie3122
    newbie3122 Posts: 480 Member
    It doesn't matter to me the gender of the massage therapist.
  • cmazurek85
    cmazurek85 Posts: 99 Member
    I agree. I get regular massages. The first time I got one from a male therapist, I was nervous...not because of an inappropriate touch, but because I am so uncomfortable in my own skin, that I thought a man would care more than a woman about how overweight I am. It's stupid....I know.

    The male therapist was the best one I've had! I see him on occasion -- he's usually booked! If you find an applicant who is good at what they do and qualified, I personally do not think that it makes a difference if the person is a man or woman.
  • nitromaniac
    nitromaniac Posts: 2,479 Member
    I much prefer a woman. I have had massages by men but, it's kinda weird.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    edited December 2016
    Being female, I prefer a female massage therapist. I had a voucher once for full body massage, and when i saw a male walk out i changed the session to back and shoulders lol
  • ChristinaOrr65
    ChristinaOrr65 Posts: 112 Member
    I think it is strange to care about this since massage is not a sexual thing to me. If anything, I usually get deep tissue and it is kinda painful! But, it sounds like you are getting pretty consistent feedback that it may be better for your business to focus on female applicants.
  • leajas1
    leajas1 Posts: 823 Member
    edited December 2016
    I don't care, either way. I was a little uncomfortable the first time I had a massage given by a male, but I quickly got over it. Thoughts on OBGYNs? I used to have a male. That was a little more uncomfortable.
  • saralukies
    saralukies Posts: 24 Member
    I am usually very uncomfortable with male therapists, doctors, what have you, but my current massage therapist is a male and I wouldn't see anyone else. He is great. He came recommended from a good friend, though, which is why I felt comfortable. So, I guess I wouldn't worry so much about the sex of your applicants, but about their references and experience. A good referral makes all the difference.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    WTH is this in the Debate section?

    What's the debating point?
    216.gif
  • helocat
    helocat Posts: 40 Member
    I am a man and I prefer a woman. No excuses I just prefer a woman. It's not a sexual thing, I think. I would not say no to a man, but if ask to scedule with "Mike or Jennifer" I am going to start with Jennifer. If its not good then Mike it is.
  • givesometogetsome
    givesometogetsome Posts: 35 Member
    American culture is weird. Only thing that should matter is the quality of the massage, not the gender of the person giving it. But if it was going to matter, you'd think people would pick the male over the female because of strength assumptions and getting a deeper massage.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,596 Member
    I've gone to women & men both. The first time I went to a male massage therapist, I thought a little bit about how I'd feel, but had reason to believe he was competent & professional, so didn't seriously worry.

    My current MT is male, and I picked him by buying massage groupons from various MTs until I found one I liked. He says it's harder to make a living as a male MT . . . but he does.

    I've had male and female friends who were freaked out by having massages at all, by having one from someone of the same sex, or by having one from someone of the opposite sex - varies all over the map. I've suggested my current MT to maybe half a dozen (female) friends, and about half of them have gone to him.

    You may even find a small number of women who'll feel more comfortable with a male if he's in business with a woman, or if a woman's in the building at the same time, on that first visit, if they're worried that a male might not be . . . um . . . appropriately professional.

    One thought: If you only have male applicants, perhaps consider hiring one, but setting some kind of performance standards/expectations up front, like how many client-hours he needs to achieve by a certain date, so you have some assurance that your business won't be negatively affected.
  • Joanna2012B
    Joanna2012B Posts: 1,448 Member
    Nope doesn't matter...they are professionals!
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,057 Member
    Is your business strictly full-body? I prefer female full-body, but male shoulders-back.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Don't care as long as they know what they are doing and have strong hands.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    edited December 2016
    I've never had issues with either. As a former RMT, I have worked with plenty of male therapists, and they do take a little more flack, but they are professionals. I actually judge my MTs by the quality of their work, rather than their gender. I typically go for massage that is therapeutic/rehab focused, so a quality MT who knows what they are doing is important. Additionally, having been an MT, I am very picky. For those who are mentioning concerns about being naked, you don't have to be naked. You can wear your underwear, if it is a bra that does up in the back, they can unfasten it for the back part and refasten it before moving on to the next area, and the sheet can be tucked into your panties/shorts.

    ETA: I like the idea of having performance expectations when hired, just be realistic about them.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    No, it wouldn't matter to me, and I've had massages by male MTs, although at my current health club I think all the MTs are women.
  • Cylphin60
    Cylphin60 Posts: 863 Member
    I only care that they know what they're doing. The longest term I kept the same MT was a woman who happened to be a friend of mine. I never had to get fully nude, her massages hurt to be honest, but she explained everything as she worked and I felt fantastic when I left.

    Quality and knowledge absolutely.
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    I have been seeing a massage therapist along with a chiropractor, every two weeks for the past 6 years. I have had both male and female massage therapists. As far as I am concerned it doesn't matter what gender their body is. What matters is if they are good. I prefer a deep massage and in my experience most female therapists simply are not strong enough to get the job done. I have had a couple that are great. My current regular MT is male. He is also african american, not that that should matter either. He does a fine job of helping my body function better and is a good compliment to my chiropractor's practice.
  • Erik8484
    Erik8484 Posts: 458 Member
    I've had male and female physios. My masseuse is a guy. It doesn't make a difference to me, it's healthcare, same reason I don't care what sex my doctor is.

    That being said, my physio visits and massages could never be described as feeling good, they all involve some amount of pain, and maybe that influences things.
  • sixtyinchesoffury
    sixtyinchesoffury Posts: 321 Member
    zyxst wrote: »
    WTH is this in the Debate section?

    What's the debating point?
    216.gif

    because I really didn't know where to put it! didn't seem like chit-chat, fun and games, etc seemed more like a poll/debate? idk

  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    MeganAM89 wrote: »
    Before I went for my first I tried to book a massage with a woman because I'd be more comfortable being naked around one but at the time they needed to reschedule so I got a man instead. I've seen him a few times now and while I love the pressure that he uses and I appreciate how respectful he is of me I am still fully aware that I am naked under that sheet and I feel like I could forget about that if he'd been a woman.

    But I don't let that stop me from seeing him again but he's really helped sort out my back issues. Also, I'm not gonna lie, he's really, really cute.

    Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    I like men, well I like one particular man, well I like my masseur

    He's a proper sports masseur...he's got big hands, use lots of force and he can help fix my body so it works better.

    I don't like him when does my adductors though or uses his thumb or elbow

    I like him after...just not during

    Kind of like my trainer TBH
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,596 Member
    MeganAM89 wrote: »
    Before I went for my first I tried to book a massage with a woman because I'd be more comfortable being naked around one but at the time they needed to reschedule so I got a man instead. I've seen him a few times now and while I love the pressure that he uses and I appreciate how respectful he is of me I am still fully aware that I am naked under that sheet and I feel like I could forget about that if he'd been a woman.

    But I don't let that stop me from seeing him again but he's really helped sort out my back issues. Also, I'm not gonna lie, he's really, really cute.

    Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?

    Yes. But completely covered by a sheet, except the part they're working on.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,596 Member
    As an aside: The deepest, most powerful massages I ever had were from a tiny, slender, petite woman - I'd be surprised if she weighed as much as 110 pounds. She swore it was all about properly using leverage & body weight. Since then, I have no illusions that one needs a large or male MT to get a very intense massage.
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
    edited December 2016
    I don't think I'd care either way. I've never seen a masseur. As long as they are good, I'll be back!

    I've had women that were to gentle and some too rough and it's just uncomfortable.

    I say give the fella a go and see.



    ETA I leave my undies on.
  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
    I prefer women to massage me, but only because I'm a huge weenie and don't like a lot of pressure.
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,189 Member
    @deluxmary2000
    Me too! I don't like deep tissue massages, they hurt too much. I want a massage that relaxes me with only medium pressure on my back and shoulder. And I prefer a woman.
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