Does a more positive outlook/self-love help?

elleelise wrote: »

Former binge eater and experienced yo-yo dieter here (but luckily reformed after two hard years of work with an intuitive eating/body image counselor.)

In the past weight loss was such an epic struggle and always ended up in failure after two or three weeks despite being a discliplined and successful woman in all other areas of my life. However upon starting my weight loss journey in April (tracking as of June) I found that a couple of very important intentions and habits are making ALL the difference. I am 1.8 pounds from 15 lost and it makes my goal of 40 feel SO doable.

Here is what I've gleaned this time around. Take it with a grain of salt, or take it to heart if it resonates with you:

1. You gotta love yourself before you ever begin to weigh your food or track your calories. If your intention to lose weight comes from a place of self loathing versus self love, you are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. Yes, even if you are a size 26 and 350 pounds ladies. Negative emotions don't help. We (females) are inundated with a disgusting number of negative body messages on a daily basis, so it is easy to fall into a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves about our bodies. Even in my conditioning class my instructor recently tried to motivate us by saying "Think about how bikini worthy you'll be and push on!" At this point I raised my hand and explained that I am already bikini worthy and ready at a jiggly size 16, as were all the other women in the room. Enjoy life now and don't put it off until you reach a goal weight. Challenge these messages. Grow to appreciate yourself and want to care for yourself first. Took me two years to learn this and for me, it was the most important step, and the most challenging one.

2. Move first, track second. This may go against 99% of people here, but my argument for getting moving first is that restricting your calories doesn't always FEEL good intitially but movement does (at least for me...) Movement and being active boosts your mood and makes you feel strong and accomplished at any stage in your body. When you work out it also has positive ripple effects relating to nutrition, sleep, water intake. Healthy habits trump being in a smaller body except in extreme cases, so focus on habits and health first, weight/physical mass second in my humble opinion.

3. Don't overthink it. Track your food. Weigh what you can. Stick within your daily caloric targets 90-95% of the time. And have it come from a place of self love and compassion, not hatred and punishment. And if you strumble, no biggie. Don't punish yourself or make it mean more than it is.

4. Don't villiainize foods. Cookies are not bad. You are not "good" for eating kale. Being paleo or primal or "clean" isn't the holy grail. Strip these stupid food rules away. If you want a brownie, make it work for your calories. Every food has a place in a well rounded deficit and diet. Guilt has no place in a well rounded diet however.

5. Don't place time constraits on your weight loss journey. Be flexible, be patient and enjoy the journey instead of trying to rush to the finish line. In the past I would always set up specific goals relating to weight or measurements, and this would always contribute to a sense of disappointment and self hatred at "failing." Just don't do it. Plan to be here for a long, long time and find a way to love the process more than the product.

6. Notice if you are in a binge-guilt-restrict-lose weight-binge-guilt-etc... eating pattern. If so, it'll take more than yet another diet program or calorie counting goal to work through. Disordered eating is rampant in our society. I would argue that a huge population of people on these threads have disordered eating and are totally unaware. If you do suffer from negative body image, binge eating disorder, yo-yo dieting addition, obsession with food, the answer won't be weight loss and you should confront those inner deamons and psychological aspects prior to counting calories and trying to get leaner and smaller.

Just my two cents! Hope this helps someone.