I feel weird when ppl talk about my weight loss

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  • duddysdad
    duddysdad Posts: 402 Member
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    I hate it too. Especially all of the comments about being too thin or looking anorexic. What the heck. I was 25 pounds above being considered underweight. I actually wanted to lose more. I started telling them my doctor is proud of me and says I am healthy and it's safe to lose more weight. I am not telling anyone this time about my weight goals, it's none of their business.
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,452 Member
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    It does make sense OP. We're all different in what makes us comfortable or not.
    I am personally neutral to compliments and comments. I feel no shame in having been obese before, and I am happy that I managed to lose and maintain a healthy size, and I don't care if people take note or not.
    What does bother me are consistently mean and annoying comments like those mentioned above and on other threads here on MFP, but even then, I've learned to ignore people or return an equally mean comment.
    If it makes you feel better, after my loss, people grew quieter, with perhaps only a handful of people who still might be annoying.
    ferderickt911 wrote: »
    Same old story to me, some people think i've been from in a serious disease thats why i lose weight, but seriously i never tell them im in a diet to confuse their suspicious minds lol

    Lol. I feel so mean for doing so, but unless people explicitly address my weight loss, I don't say a word. Some people have never said a word about my weight loss, and some of them have indirectly tried to bring up my weight loss, but I never bite.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    edited January 2017
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    neldabg wrote: »
    It does make sense OP. We're all different in what makes us comfortable or not.
    I am personally neutral to compliments and comments. I feel no shame in having been obese before, and I am happy that I managed to lose and maintain a healthy size, and I don't care if people take note or not...
    ferderickt911 wrote: »
    Same old story to me, some people think i've been from in a serious disease thats why i lose weight, but seriously i never tell them im in a diet to confuse their suspicious minds lol

    Lol. I feel so mean for doing so, but unless people explicitly address my weight loss, I don't say a word. Some people have never said a word about my weight loss, and some of them have indirectly tried to bring up my weight loss, but I never bite.

    Nice. Your confidence and self assurance is probably what is keeping people civil. Unless you were the one to bring it up, then it is obviously private information. "I'd rather not discuss it" is a fine reply to those who are nosy or pry --(or ignoring as you successfully do).

  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    Yes! It's gross and uncomfortable- especially when it's like a male co-worker or something. Eewww- why are we talking about this? I refuse to speak specifics too - if they ask how much weight I have lost I will either say some or a little. If they ask how I just say I am trying to eat a little better. Then I try and change the subject.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
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    I've only ever gotten a couple of I-didn't-recognize-yous, a few you-look-greats, & one how'd- you-do-it. And that was enough.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
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    I love it when people complement on an outfit I'm wearing or the shape I'm in for my age. For instance, I had on a cute dress the other day and got stopped several times by random people saying I looked adorable in it. I just smiled and replied, "Thank you very much!" It is fun to dress up once in a while.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Yes, I understand too. It's like I'm not doing it to get attention, I'm doing it to better myself. My biggest pet peeve is people saying "Kudo's to you." I don't know why - I just hate that phrase. And people would keep asking how much I lost. Why? Are we celebrating that I had that much to lose or that I lost it? Either way - again - that's not why I'm doing it.
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
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    cebreisch wrote: »
    Yes, I understand too. It's like I'm not doing it to get attention, I'm doing it to better myself. My biggest pet peeve is people saying "Kudo's to you." I don't know why - I just hate that phrase. And people would keep asking how much I lost. Why? Are we celebrating that I had that much to lose or that I lost it? Either way - again - that's not why I'm doing it.

    LOL! I agree. Something about it just sounds sarcastic in nature, even if the person saying it is genuine. I guess I feel like nobody that is truly genuine would use a phrase like "Kudos to you". I always sign my business e-mails with "Regards" at the end. An associate of mine who was born overseas thought I was mad at him for using "Regards" because from his neck of the woods, signing e-mails with "Regards" is seen as sarcasm. After a laugh over it, as well as an apology to him, I continued to use "Regards" for people I really disliked. Things like that and "kudos to you" are just those types of phrases.
  • Cylphin60
    Cylphin60 Posts: 863 Member
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    lady_ghost wrote: »
    I think I still feel the shame of letting myself get so fat in the first place.
    Why? Stop it. :)

  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    I guess I can understand but perhaps change your thinking. Don't think about the past but the hard work you've put into losing and people's comments are reflecting that. Accept it as positive.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
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    Maxematics wrote: »
    cebreisch wrote: »
    Yes, I understand too. It's like I'm not doing it to get attention, I'm doing it to better myself. My biggest pet peeve is people saying "Kudo's to you." I don't know why - I just hate that phrase. And people would keep asking how much I lost. Why? Are we celebrating that I had that much to lose or that I lost it? Either way - again - that's not why I'm doing it.

    LOL! I agree. Something about it just sounds sarcastic in nature, even if the person saying it is genuine. I guess I feel like nobody that is truly genuine would use a phrase like "Kudos to you". I always sign my business e-mails with "Regards" at the end. An associate of mine who was born overseas thought I was mad at him for using "Regards" because from his neck of the woods, signing e-mails with "Regards" is seen as sarcasm. After a laugh over it, as well as an apology to him, I continued to use "Regards" for people I really disliked. Things like that and "kudos to you" are just those types of phrases.

    I had no idea. I use 'regards' all the time. Oops.
  • geneticsteacher
    geneticsteacher Posts: 623 Member
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    I don't mind it at all and simply say thank you, but we are all different. I have never minded attention :p
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
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    cebreisch wrote: »
    Yes, I understand too. It's like I'm not doing it to get attention, I'm doing it to better myself. My biggest pet peeve is people saying "Kudo's to you." I don't know why - I just hate that phrase. And people would keep asking how much I lost. Why? Are we celebrating that I had that much to lose or that I lost it? Either way - again - that's not why I'm doing it.

    Oops. I say "Kudos". I say it to mean "good for you", but likely I'm using the word improperly? Or I'll say, "You look great." So I guess if someone doesn't like to hear that they can ignore me, and I will understand why now.
  • HeathermRVT
    HeathermRVT Posts: 79 Member
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    Just to throw a different perspective in here - I LOVE the compliments! The more, the better! I soak 'em up like a sponge. I worked hard for this and will take all the "kudos" I can get!

    For me it happens pretty often so I can't imagine how crappy that must be if you don't like it.
  • erosemiller314
    erosemiller314 Posts: 48 Member
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    caroline4011 wrote: »
    Have lost large amounts of weight, and gained it all back more than a few times. When I start to look smaller I hated all the "good job" "oh you look so good" etc. Like oh well I guess I looked like poo before but now I am behaving and losing. Of course then when it turns around, and it happens over a number of years I get the look. Nothing is said but you can hear it loud and clear "awe you failed again". Makes me crazy. I am still the same person big or little, and at 62 I don't appreciate people telling me I am doing a good job just because I lose some weight. There is so much more to me. hmmmm.....

    Oh my gosh. This. 100 times over. I have lost over 113 pounds and then over time and circumstances I gained it all back. I can *hear* the looks. I swear I *hear* it. It has really made it difficult to try again because I feel like I already know what will happen...
  • pebble4321
    pebble4321 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    It doesn't matter whether other people like hearing compliments about their weight loss or not - if you aren't comfortable, then you aren't comfortable. I completely understand it too, I'm not happy about having put on weight and I'd rather not discuss it whether I'm gaining or losing.

    If the comments are from strangers or acquaintances then I would just say a simple "thanks" and change the subject, maybe ask them a question about them!

    If it's from family or close friends, tell that while you love their support, it makes you uncomfortable talking about it, so please don't go discussing your business with other people. If they keep it up, then keep asking them to stop.
  • 3474449k
    3474449k Posts: 46 Member
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    I don't mind people asking most of the time, but I hate it when they ask me at inappropriate times, in public places, around strangers, etc. I'm trying to think up appropriate responses to cut them off at the pass. I'm thinking about - I don't want to talk about that right now - I don't know (how much weight have you lost) - I really don't like discussing this - etc. Some questions I don't mind, but if people get too personal, I do mind. I don't know what to say to your mom, though. I could tell mine to please not do that when I'm around, but others have mothers who are more argumentative than mine was.

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