Any 'child-free by choice' people out there?

quixoticmantis
quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
edited October 11 in Chit-Chat
Hey everyone!

I'm a 30 year old Licensed Veterinary Technician, and I've never had the desire to have kids. I like kids, don't get me wrong - they're just not for me :) Luckily, my boyfriend of 3 years respects this whole-heartedly.

Any others out there who are child free by choice? The only complaint I have is that it's VERY hard to find friends who don't want/already have children....especially in the south where we are.
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Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    :drinker: Me!

    I just have no maternal instincts towards human babies. I've been a vet tech, too, and have 7 cats and a dog, so all my motherly urges are satisfied with them. I'm sooooo happy my husband is like-minded on the matter.

    People like to try to tell me I'll change my mind. Someone told me that The Clock would start ticking when I hit 30. I was 37 when she told me that. :laugh: I'm 39 now, and there's still no ticking.
  • arhzon
    arhzon Posts: 150
    Well, I'm still 24, but I have no desire for kids. I have occasionally been okay with someone else's kids, and that's when they are going home anytime. I have 3 pets, and am not patient enough for them, so I would hate to think what I would be like with something that'll start talking back to me after 2 or 3 years.
  • Lstrhi
    Lstrhi Posts: 132
    Me too! It's great to know that there are others out there, I'm 27 and I hate the awkward questions.... Sometimes I feel like you arent really considered a woman unless you have a baby
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    Me! I was certain from a very young age that I was never intended to be a mother. People always told me I'd change my mind one day. But, here I am... turning 40 in September, and I haven't ever felt a maternal urge or a biological clock.

    I've been happily married 14 years, have three great dogs, and I love my life just the way it is!
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    I'll be 34 in a few days (URGH), and I seriously think my biological clock is broken. No desire whatsoever. And I live in Houston. :happy:
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Yes, and I agree with you that people look at you like you've got three heads in the south if you're unmarried and like you've got five heads if you don't have kids. Much less of that in the north. ;) I couldn't get out of Atlanta fast enough!
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Yeah I am 34 and have never had a desire to have a kid. People also tell me that well you will change your mind. Well they have been telling me that since I was 21 and it hasn't changed yet.
  • pitbullmama
    pitbullmama Posts: 454 Member
    No kids by choice here as well. Now that I'm in my 50's, people who don't know me will ask if I have any grandkids yet. And get that weird look on their face when I say would have had to have kids first.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    I am married and have kids, so obviously I can't join your group...But I wanted to tell you about a woman I used to work with. She and her husband also decided not to have kids and they started a wine club in their area to meet others who were child-free by choice. They had so much fun! Anyway, you can find other who are like minded, just keep trying.
  • katgirl57
    katgirl57 Posts: 7 Member
    Love kids.. just did not have them. Very happy @ 54!
  • Babs1
    Babs1 Posts: 4 Member
    I also have no kids by choice, although I am Mum to three gorgeous cats. I wondered whether I would change as I got older, but I'm 42 now, and still have no feelings of desire when I see a baby. I'm a teacher, so it's not that I don't like young people, but babies do nothing for me.

    I don't think I'm weird...
  • rayneface
    rayneface Posts: 219 Member
    I am 25 and strongly do not want children, my boyfriend respects that but I still always have people trying to convince me otherwise. It's funny how your own personal decisions seem to affect other people so much, eh?!
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    I'm 47 and childless by choice. AH, the good life. When my wife and I are napping on the weekends, we wonder aloud about what our friends with kids are doing right now.? I think that there is a certain societal pressure to have kids. For me and my wife; our time is our time. And it is a beautiful life!
  • kmanda
    kmanda Posts: 7
    I hear ya...I am 25 and I honestly can't picture myself being a mother. I really like kids and consider myself to be a responsible person but ahh...I mean it's such a huge decision!
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
    I'm a teacher. 180 days a year I have 320 kids. I have no desire to go home to them too. Sadly for my parents, I'm an only child. No grandkids for them. It's definitely a stigma though. So often people ask about my kids and when I say I've chosen not to have them I get a look like are you crazy. If that's crazy, I'll take it.
  • peejie
    peejie Posts: 43
    My husband and I are very happy with our lives right now. We both have jobs that we love, free time with each other when we want, and independent time when needed. Maybe as I grow older(I am 27), my views will change, but I wouldn't change a thing right now.

    Although, every now and then I think a baby is cute. Then, I help babysit for a friend or family member and change my mind super quick. I like sleep. I like "me time." I like thinking, "Hey, I want to go out for coffee," or "Let's go to the bar!" and being able to do those things without making phone calls or asking for favors

    My sister never wanted kids either, but she just had her first at 36 years old. Priorities change and I am adaptable.
  • PegasusDeb
    PegasusDeb Posts: 665 Member
    I'm 46 (on Tues) and have no children. It was more that I never met the right guy I'd want to have kids with! I remember when I was little telling my mom that I was going to have puppies instead of kids! lol Well, I have just one dog! I would love more but time & money won't allow for more. Oh, and I'm still looking for Mr Right, but I've dated enough losers to realize being single isn't so bad! Kids... they are ok, just not for me!
  • ekopelevich
    ekopelevich Posts: 8 Member
    Checking in here. I'm 27 and in Denver, where it seems like being child-free by choice should be acceptable, but I still find myself constantly having to explain/justify myself. This is a good topic post. It's nice to see so many people in the same boat. =)
  • dHowe4406
    dHowe4406 Posts: 114
    As of right now I don't want kids. That may change someday but right now I don't want kids at all.
  • shells62682
    shells62682 Posts: 16 Member
    childfree by choice!

    I am 29 and have never had the desire, and doubt that it'll ever show up. It sounds really horrible, but I feel like I have better things to do with my time/life than raise kids.

    My husband feels the same way. We've always been childfree and loving it, and we've been together 10 years and married 6.

    It's not going to change. We've got two lovely dogs, careers that are not easy to work having kids into, and plans to travel the world.

    glad to see others out there!
  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
    Me too!!! I'm married and my husband's in total agreement. I teach 7th grade. I have 100 kids every day; I don't want any at home. I love kids, especially when I can give them back to someone else. :ohwell: My dog is my baby. :heart:
  • Mishy
    Mishy Posts: 1,551 Member
    I'm not sure if I qualify as "by choice" because at one point I did try. Anyway.

    I'm 35, and have been married for hmmmm...7 years and have no children, and I loathe being asked if I have any children. One @ss hat even went as far as asking if I was sure I didn't have kids.

    Perhaps the only thing I dislike more is when people say that one day I'll be blessed with kids. C'mon! I feel pretty damn blessed/fortunate to be living the life I have NOW.

    ::: jumping from soap box :::
  • Ang5669
    Ang5669 Posts: 14 Member
    Never EVER wanted them....have had no regrets so far and I am now 41.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    Well, I'm 57 with no kids, by choice. I can say that I made the right decision. I knew as a teenager that I wasn't going to have kids.


    At my age, people have stopped saying "Oh, you still have time" :laugh:

    That got real old.
  • crackers3333
    crackers3333 Posts: 8
    been there done that and a'int ever going back haha
    one grown up daughter now and as much as she means the
    world to me, i'd never do it again......

    it just strokes for different folks.........:wink:
  • masihskitter4god
    masihskitter4god Posts: 11
    I'm 26 and am also a teacher. My mother asks me quite often when I'm going to settle down and have her some grandchildren (she's got 1 from my sister). I show her pictures from the plays I do at school with my students and say, "There are your grandchildren." I love teens and pre-teens, but have little use for young children. I would be a horrible mother to little kids. If I ever get married, I would like to adopt teens who need a home and encouragement their last few years before adulthood, but for now, I have a saying, "The best part about being a teacher is that I can have as many kids as I want and at the end of the day, they go home with somebody else!"
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    One more thought I had; How many people have children who shouldn't? When I look around, I would say clearly, 30% of parents should have been sterilized before they brought children into this world. Just think; you need a license to drive, own a business, cut hair, be a manicurist, a pharmacist, and just about any other profession, but any ill equipped, irresponsible, loser can have a kid. Maybe a license should be required for child bearing. Which to me is a the biggest responsibilty that there is. Just a thought.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    Oh, I should also mention that I don't give a damn who likes it and who doesn't.
  • MsKittyCAT
    MsKittyCAT Posts: 217
    I'm 42, never married, and no kids. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy when I was still in my 20's and at the time it was a really hard thing to deal with and I became pretty bitter and anti-kid for a while. Now I have to believe there was a reason for it, perhaps I just wouldn't have been a good mom, who knows? But I do know that when dating and I tell guys I'm not able to have kids sometimes that is a deal breaker. And at this stage of my life I really don't wanna be a step-mom to someone else's young children. I'm not interested in diapers and growing pains and attitudes.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    LORINA!!

    :drinker:

    I didn't know you'd been a vet tech! Small world!

    My whole life people have been telling me I'll change my mind too - "When you're 20.....30...... ( and probably 40 and right before menopause, haha) " , "When you find the right one...." (to this I say, I've found the right one - and still no change, haha!)
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