Any 'child-free by choice' people out there?

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Replies

  • ESVABelle
    ESVABelle Posts: 1,264 Member
    23 and child free!

    But my dog is the love of my life!
  • mikonei
    mikonei Posts: 291 Member
    Ha. It's always good to see other people that won't give me weird looks when I say I have no interest in having children. I'm 25 and my friends started having kids 4 years ago. The ones that don't have them want them, which leaves only me and one friend in agreement. Our children are our pets, though sometimes I think it might be easier to have children than my ferrets. lol
    I don't dislike children, I love my ...9 (had to count in my head) nieces and nephews and my friends' children, but I also love that I can give them back to their parents.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    It's funny how your own personal decisions seem to affect other people so much, eh?!

    True, so very true!!!! :laugh:
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    I'm only 20, so this could change.
    But as of now, I do not EVER want kids. [:

    I have actually ended relationships over this.
    It tends to be a deal-breaker for people that actively want babies.
  • monocot
    monocot Posts: 475 Member
    i'm 25 and Child Free. I am content without them. If I have a urge to be mother like, I go see my sisters kids., by the time I leave. reminds me why I do not want Kids.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    oh and to top it off I am the only person on my team at work with no kids and most of theirs I could care less about so we are very limited on the small talk at work.

    Oh my goodness, me too!! Everyone at my workplace that's my age or older has kids or is raising their grandkids (ahem...), so small talk is sorely limited.

    Currently the only person at work that doesn't want to talk kids and after-school activities is the 18 year old highschool volunteer. Sigh. She's pretty cool though, she gets me through the days :)
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member

    Besides, the world isn't ready for one of my devil-spawn.

    Muwahahahaha :laugh:
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    To be honest, I still like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm also still a bit at the selfish stage of my life and would not be willing to put my needs second to my child.

    You know, I very often say the same thing - I'm too 'selfish'......I use that term loosely, because I'm not so sure the word is correct for simply knowing what you want in life.

    And honestly - I'm not ashamed of being 'selfish'. HECK, I'm PROUD to say that I am! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Nope, sure don't.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    23 and child free!

    But my dog is the love of my life!

    YAY FOR FUR BABIES!!!

    Partner and I are proud mama and daddy to 3 Mini Schnauzers, a giant ole Rottie, and a Corn Snake. We adore them!
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    I just realized I'm wearing my Albert Fish "I like children. They are tasty." t-shirt. :embarassed:

    Oh my heavens, I NEED that shirt....hahahaha!!!!
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    No kids here either, I have too much trouble taking care of myself and a dog....

    Hahaha! I hear you there!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    im 21 so still young...but dont want kids as of now >__< I used to say I did simply because it was expected, but frankly, I don't want to take care of another human being for years on end. I want to be the one taken care of...although I love caring for animals. :blushing:

    Sometimes I think, "Awww...look how cute." and I think of how I could give a kid a great B-day or Christmas etc...

    Then I think of the other 363 days of the year and shudder. I think I would make a great parent, but I just don't want to be one.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    I'm child free and I've never been married so I deal with a double dose of being inferior in other people's eyes. :tongue:
    I knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids and I've never had a moment's doubt about it.

    I resent being called selfish for this choice as well. I think it was a very adult decision to not give in to societal pressure to have kids when I knew I wouldn't be up for the job.

    I'm told by quite a few married, male co-workers than I am envied for my lifestyle decisions. :happy:

    I hear this from almost everyone with kids ... "I love my kids but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't."

    I do regret not ever having found a life partner though. That part haunts me.

    I think 'selfish' in this case needs to be used very loosely, and I agree with you that it's a VERY adult decision to do what is right FOR YOU regardless of what others say.

    As far as not finding a life partner - you will, I'm positive of it! I always thought I'd never find someone who would truly 'get me' and that I could spend the rest of my life with.

    Then I did. :heart:

    Hang in there! Love finds you at the weirdest times.
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
    My wife and I are 27 and 28, been married 6 years. We get the "when ya gonna have a baby?" questions all the time. We really still have no desire at this point. It just keeps getting pushed out, maybe when we are in our 30's, I dunno. Just no strong desire. Ultimately, we see ourselves adopting in the future, but no time soon. We are focused on our careers and our time together. And our 3 dogs, they are our kids. I come from a big family, I have multiple biological siblings and multiple adopted siblings. A big family has its pros and cons, but for me I would never want a big family of my own. Maybe one biological child and a couple adopted would be good...but I am no where near that happening any time soon...maybe in 10 years? maybe never? I don't feel I need a child, we will see if that changes.
  • KAT1892
    KAT1892 Posts: 54 Member
    I'm 25 and my husband and I (4.5 years married) are not having children, (by choice). No going back either after the 'ole snip snip!

    People always ask us when we are having kids and look at as crazy when we say we aren't ("Never?!" is usually their response).

    Good to know I'm not alone! I'm perfectly happy *just* being an Aunt. It's a lot funner that way (for me anyways).
  • Pink_turnip
    Pink_turnip Posts: 280 Member
    I'm child free and I've never been married so I deal with a double dose of being inferior in other people's eyes. :tongue:
    I knew from a very early age that I didn't want kids and I've never had a moment's doubt about it.

    I resent being called selfish for this choice as well. I think it was a very adult decision to not give in to societal pressure to have kids when I knew I wouldn't be up for the job.

    I'm told by quite a few married, male co-workers than I am envied for my lifestyle decisions. :happy:

    I hear this from almost everyone with kids ... "I love my kids but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't."

    I do regret not ever having found a life partner though. That part haunts me.

    I think it's more selfish to have children and not be able to provide for them, than to make the decision that you do not want children of your own.
  • prettytoxic
    prettytoxic Posts: 122 Member
    I'm only 20 but I seem to be the only girl from my high school class year that doesn't have a kid/is pregnant. I'm cool with other people's kids but for me, kids just don't fit into my little plan anywhere.
    That and if I have kids I lose the luxury of being able to afford stuff for myself.... selfish but meh.
  • PoppyPea
    PoppyPea Posts: 28 Member
    Hallo!

    I'm 33, have been in a fantastic relationship for 15 years, and have no desire to pass on my genetic material.

    In fact I've just got a job after being a skint student for 2 years, so am looking forward spending a bit of dough on a nice holiday and meals out and all those things that kids get in the way of. Not that I'm smug. Well...maybe a bit :)
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
    I hear this from almost everyone with kids ... "I love my kids but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't."

    really? how sad.
    i don't feel that way and none of my mommy-friends do either (we have talked bout it and none of us would change a thing). we must be very blessed.


    (by the way, i started out not wanting kids for a minimum of 10 years after of our marriage, but got a surprise after 4 months and then another oops 19 months after the first was born. they added so much joy, they changed our whole outlook and now i'm desperate for more.)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    now i'm desperate for more

    You might want to examine this thought a bit more. And apparently you don't believe in birth control? Because a "surprise" and an "oops" is not the way I want to live my life. Not when it comes to the biggest committment you can make in life. I wish you well, but it sounds like someone else is making your decisions for you.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    I just realized I'm wearing my Albert Fish "I like children. They are tasty." t-shirt. :embarassed:

    AW, NO!!! I catch the reference! *shaking head to try to dislodge from brain* :laugh:
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    I hear this from almost everyone with kids ... "I love my kids but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't."

    really? how sad.
    i don't feel that way and none of my mommy-friends do either (we have talked bout it and none of us would change a thing). we must be very blessed.


    (by the way, i started out not wanting kids for a minimum of 10 years after of our marriage, but got a surprise after 4 months and then another oops 19 months after the first was born. they added so much joy, they changed our whole outlook and now i'm desperate for more.)

    No, I don't think it's sad at all. It's all in how you look at it.

    I think it's terribly refreshing to hear people with kids being HONEST and telling others that children are hard, hard, work. Those people who say they wouldn't do it again aren't sad, they should be applauded for making the best out of their situation AND knowing how they truly feel, rather than what others THINK they should feel.

    Good for you though. Different strokes.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    now i'm desperate for more

    Because a "surprise" and an "oops" is not the way I want to live my life.

    THIS.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    Hallo!

    I'm 33, have been in a fantastic relationship for 15 years, and have no desire to pass on my genetic material.

    In fact I've just got a job after being a skint student for 2 years, so am looking forward spending a bit of dough on a nice holiday and meals out and all those things that kids get in the way of. Not that I'm smug. Well...maybe a bit :)

    Hallo there!! :drinker:

    Nothing wrong with bein' a bit smug!
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    I'm only 20 but I seem to be the only girl from my high school class year that doesn't have a kid/is pregnant. I'm cool with other people's kids but for me, kids just don't fit into my little plan anywhere.
    That and if I have kids I lose the luxury of being able to afford stuff for myself.... selfish but meh.


    I am also 20.
    And I AM the only girl from my graduating class that has never been pregnant.
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    This is my kind of topic! I blogged about this about a year ago, and my opinion still stands:

    http://leylash.wordpress.com/2010/08/06/why-ill-pass-on-motherhood/

    This is so awesome!
  • ShellyLee
    ShellyLee Posts: 293 Member
    Vet Tech here as well with no kids planned for the future, 26 y/o. I'm actually what I call "indifferent"... hubby is 23 and doesn't want kids. I'm cool with no kids, but if he suddenly hits 25-30 and decides that yeah he wants them I'm ok with that too lol. But I'm quite happy with our animal children... 1 cat and 2 dogs (one 7 month black lab and one 4y/o Pembroke Corgi). I also ride horses. We both have fairly expensive hobbies that we would rather not give up. We also both love travelling so.. children obviously would restrict the things we love to do.
  • Swimgoddess
    Swimgoddess Posts: 711 Member
    Mom of 3 here and found the whole discussion fascinating. More power to all of you! Just wondering what PC response you would like to get when you say you're child-free-by-choice? Basically anything except questioning your position, right? 'Cause I think I have that part down. The only thing I don't have down to a science is having a full conversation without them coming up at least in passing. It's like mom-Tourettes. For those that get the "not really a woman unless" thing, I can offer a flip side :D Just ask hypothetical smug mom who's looking at you like you have 5 heads, "So, what do you do for fun?", because it certainly makes me feel like an inferior person when SO much of my life is taken up with kids that I honestly forgot what I even USED to do for fun. AWKWARD.

    Can I say that I HATE kids (in some cases, "too")? I mean, I really do hate them, OTHER people's kids I mean. Grate on my every last nerve. There's a 4 year old across the street who is such a spoiled little drama queen (think high-pitched screams, stomping, throwing things, etc.) that my hubby and I had a candid conversation about using the hole our Sis-in-law's boxer dug in the backyard to bury her in. (Too soon?) Love MY kids to bits though. That's totally different! Lol.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KVHXmu2rNc&amp;feature=youtube_gdata_player
  • rob_base
    rob_base Posts: 97
    right now I am having enough trouble with my dog, I can only imagine what kids would be like
  • Jennwith2ns
    Jennwith2ns Posts: 296 Member
    For those of you saying you are still young, but dont want them.. it has been my experience you probably wont change your mind :) I have wanted them since I was 5 (and am infertile, irony is a b*tch), and that hasnt changed. But my sister on the other hand has always HATED kids, like bad, lol. She will tolerate other peoples kids, but has always been against them.. She is now 33 and hasnt changed her mind a bit over the last 20 years or so. And unfortunately has lost a lot of potentially good relationships because of it.
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