Unsupportive partners/spouses?
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Truvanessa
Posts: 327 Member
Do you have an unsupportive spouse or partner? It happens. They may discourage or make fun of your fitness goals. Maybe it's out of jealousy or insecurity. Who knows? Well, if you need support or just want to vent, leave a reply. Don't give up!
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Replies
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Yes sister! One of my favorite Pinterest pics of of a bad@$$ lifter-gal and it reads "I do this by myself FOR myself". Any other soloists in here? Feel free to friend me too!17
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I know it's amazing to do it with your spouse.. Has to be super hard not just on your own, but if they make fun of you.7
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The only one responsible to your goals and support is yourself. Never rely on the support of others. Support from others is "nice" but should never dictate your outcome.
Likewise it is unfair to "expect" a level of support from a person who does not share the same goal, especially if they are unfamiliar.
Personal responsibility is far and beyond the most critical and most deciding factor in your life. Whether for weight loss or anything else you do.23 -
Mine is supportive in theory, but undermines my efforts every. single. time. If I actually tell him I have a structured plan to manage my eating habits, he will, without exception, come home that evening with cake or cookies or something that he has bought just for me! He doesn't even know he does this, but he does. So this time I'm just not saying anything and then doing all of the meal planning and shopping on my own.
And don't even get me started with the sabotage that comes with trying to work out!36 -
My hubby was a bit passive aggressive at first. One day I got annoyed by one of his comments and said, "Well when you drop dead of a heart attack mowing the lawn, I will be a good looking widow." God love him, he has never made another comment and I have noticed he is trying to eat better and get a little more exercise.75
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Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and advice. I do agree, that you should only go through this journey for yourself. It is not easy when you share your life with someone who is not "fully" onboard with support.
My guy rarely gives me any compliments and gives me lectures on what I'm doing wrong. Funny thing, is he could use a change as well. Oh, and don't even get me started on the jealousy that comes out when another guy compliments me. Haha!20 -
Geocitiesuser wrote: »The only one responsible to your goals and support is yourself. Never rely on the support of others. Support from others is "nice" but should never dictate your outcome.
Likewise it is unfair to "expect" a level of support from a person who does not share the same goal, especially if they are unfamiliar.
Personal responsibility is far and beyond the most critical and most deciding factor in your life. Whether for weight loss or anything else you do.
Thank you for your reply. I am actually doing this for myself. However, it can be frustrating to live with someone who is unsupportive and critical of your efforts.13 -
I understand completely.
He doesn't make fun, but is no help and purposely counter productive when it comes to staying on track. I wish he was on board. He needs this too.7 -
I understand completely.
He doesn't make fun, but is no help and purposely counter productive when it comes to staying on track. I wish he was on board. He needs this too.
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Hopefully things will change. Maybe he'll be inspired seeing the transformation unfold and that you are stepping up and "doing" you.1 -
I had a boyfriend like this once... Now he is an ex. Aint nobody got time for kid games.36
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My fiance is in a lot better shape than me, mostly because her metabolism is amazingly fast and she has done martial arts all of her life.
I still recently bought her a Fitbit to match mine, and she is a bit competitive with the steps! I know metabolism won't last forever, and there is nothing wrong with working out when you're already as fit as could be.7 -
jacobhillman wrote: »My fiance is in a lot better shape than me, mostly because her metabolism is amazingly fast and she has done martial arts all of her life.
I still recently bought her a Fitbit to match mine, and she is a bit competitive with the steps! I know metabolism won't last forever, and there is nothing wrong with working out when you're already as fit as could be.
You are exactly right. I think it is sweet that you bought her a Fitbit btw.2 -
Feel free to add me for support.0
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Mine always thinks that he's got better ways of doing things and just shuts me down when I mention joining a gym. It's depressing5
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chantelp0508 wrote: »Mine always thinks that he's got better ways of doing things and just shuts me down when I mention joining a gym. It's depressing
Sorry to hear that. You can do this. Most of all, be on this journey for you! I think your man will be surprised.
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Yes, married 24 years, and my wife thinks going to the gym and weightlifting is a waste of time and effort. Frustrating when you put that much effort into something for years and your wife (spouse) thinks less then nothing of your improvements.12
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My husband is so sweet, but ever since we met, I've been telling him I was trying to eat healthy and lose weight. To this day he brings me home candy and sodas because he thinks he's doing something nice for me. I love that he's thinking about me, but I wish he'd bring me home an edible arrangement or a v8 or something instead. To top it off, the man LOVES junk food. So its a constant battle when were trying to compromise on what to eat.8
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angiejim0415 wrote: »My husband is so sweet, but ever since we met, I've been telling him I was trying to eat healthy and lose weight. To this day he brings me home candy and sodas because he thinks he's doing something nice for me. I love that he's thinking about me, but I wish he'd bring me home an edible arrangement or a v8 or something instead. To top it off, the man LOVES junk food. So its a constant battle when were trying to compromise on what to eat.
THIS! My fiancee is this person!! I have found a great cookbook we both like but he constantly wants the same thing out of it! And we definitely can't afford to be cooking 2 dinners every night.4 -
You know it's so funny for lack of a better word to read the different posts here...just when you think your alone you sit back and go WOW I'm not alone! I've been keeping my efforts to myself minus those of you that I chat with here. Anyway my spouse overheard me mentioning my 3lb weight loss yesterday and then comes home in the afternoon with a bag of candy just for me HA! and then this morning asks if I'd like to go to Tim Horton's.....YUP! I can so relate! I keep my workouts to private time when the house is empty and pride myself on my own accomplishments.9
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Contrary to what most people think, people closest to you in many cases don't give a crap about what you're doing. So it's important to RELY ON YOU and other people that may be on the same trek.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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