WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2017

Barbie: Thank you for creating the new thread for February! Your new arrival is so pretty

Re: Thank you for the hugs. I'm so glad that you seem to have an excellent physio. Congrats on that weight loss elliptical or not you're having great success!

Katie: Way to go on that loss! Would a heavy duty rolling suitcase work better for hauling your books around?

Sharon: Apparently you love your new trailer Enjoy it! Go with a plan for the birthday party - you know you can do it.

pitegny: Congrats on the fantastic result for January.

NYKaren: Love the picture - thanks for sharing

Chris: Yay January! I'd take those small #'s too. Keep up the great work you're obviously doing what works for you.

Sarah: Waves from the west.

KJ: I love your actions - truly inspiring!

Heather: Safe travels!

My goals for January were a bust. I'm usually much better at meeting my goals. This is a indication that my stress levels are climbing and that I'd better get a handle on it. The good thing is that I only have 1 more pound to lose to get back to where I was before Christmas.

For February I will hang on to this thought: “The difference in winning and losing is most often…not quitting.” – Walt Disney


Carey - Northern Alberta

Allie - Wishing the best for you and Tom. Hopefully, he will go to counseling with you without balking and will give it a good old college try. Someone that can be a good 'bounce ideas off the wall' and 'make each of you see and know what has been wrong and guide you gently toward a resolution'. Keep those names and numbers; decided on 'how much you are willing to go through' in your quest to save the marriage. It will be a tough 'row to hoe' ... probably for both of you. For Tom to 'relinquish his controlling ways' and for you 'to step out and gain a little control over your life and have more courage in what you are capable in doing'.

Keeping your paycheck coming to your account is a good idea; now you can make Tom show you what HE has done and teach you about the finances of the family (in the event, God Forbid, something happens to him, before you). Sometimes approaching life and finances is easier done when you put it in the form of NEEDING to know, rather than having something thrust upon you unknowingly and suddenly. If this happens, and you see things headed South, you will know when and how to jump to protect yourself as best you can. But, I would still not be his 'maid'. Teach him 'how to fend for himself' and 'make him do it'; in case, God Forbid, something happens to you. It works both ways. I taught both my sons how to cook, clean, and wash and dry their own things when they were only about 7 & 9 - 8 & 10. Now, they both help with things with their wives and they don't think they were put in their lives to be their maids. He is perfectly able to 'wash his own clothes', and to 'occasionally fix a meal' ... grill outside or something. He probably isn't willing to admit that the marriage has been 'on the rocks' either. For the time being, I would make it a point to 'go with him' when he wants to go to "Lowe's" or ask to go, even if it is an imposition of both of you. Could turn out to be a way to bring you closer. The 'needs' over the 'wants' should be utmost. You both need to express how you feel about one another to the other. Being honest will build trust ... it will come slowly; but, it can be done.

How are y'all going about getting the name and services of a marriage counselor? IF he refuses, then go to the attorney to find out your rights; even 'if' you are trying to save the marriage. It takes a lot of 'gumption' to work at 'fixing' something in this 'throw away society'. Gingerly, wishing y'all the best for your decision ... hopefully it is mutual with Tom. He needs to know that 'holding secrets in' is not helping. Being honest and 'learning how to disagree' is something that I hope you will both get out of the counseling. Louis and I don't keep secrets from one another - from how we raised our children to how we spend money on those things that we both want. He knows what I make and he knows what bills I pay. Those bills are MY bills; he pays the mortgage, utilities, groceries, phone bill(s) [one is his business, although my phone is on it]. Tom should take the majority of the bills to pay as he makes a lot more $$$ than you do. Now you can pay those bills that are yours (such as credit card bills used to buy your clothes, and other personal matters ... and also to be able to also open up a separated savings account in your name only. If you have Wills, then all either of you would have to do is present a copy of the Will and death certificate to the bank in order to close the accounts and move the money to your own account(s).

Louis and I have an appointment with our life insurance agent this Friday to discuss 'hopefully' them being able to save us some money (and maybe get a little more in the process). The company that has 1/2 of our insurance has gone up from $340 to about $590 a month ... need it just cannot afford it. She said she can definitely save us a lot more money and get more coverage and still be under that. I sure hope so. But, if the premium continues to come out of my account; then Louis will just have to pay my car payment; it is too much of a strain to do so now as it is. When I look at things as they stand with both of us, I get panicky; but, when I realize that some things will be cut out or greatly reduced if I was on my own; that gives me a little more breathing room. It would be tight as a girdle, but, I could make it.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

We all love you and want what is best for you!

Lenora

grandmallie wrote: »

Good Morning Ladies~
I have some news to share and I hope you all will all support my decision..
Tom and I had a heart to heart monday night.. we talked darn close to an hour..and we are going to try and make this work..
NOW don't y'all go crazy... I told him how much he has hurt me emotionally and mentally over the years and that would not continue. that things would need to change.. that he would agree to counseling.
Our personalities will never change but our behaviors can..so we will try and work through this.. I will keep my check in my own account and help pay the bills that way.. told him that I would like to control my own finances and want to be more involved with how it is distributed..
No One want's to see a marriage fail...
it is going to be a long and slow process . but please dont bash .. and wish us luck.. it will be a long road..

too late, i've gone crazy

Sharon in Lethbridge: It sounds as though you had a very busy day yesterday. Give your DH a few extra hugs if he is feeling insecure. . I love your goals for this month. :flowerforyou:

pitegny: A 17.4 pound loss in one month is monumental. Wow!

Allison: I wish you and Tom the best of luck. When my husband & I were discussing the possibility of buying our current home we simply couldn't have a discussion without losing our cool. I had reservations and he was beyond gung ho. We needed help. We finally made an appointment with the guidance counselor who had previously helped me through the loss of my mom. Dr. D was a master at helping us talk about the difficult issues. He was essentially a referee who helped us focus on the issues and keep the emotional level down. Keep the idea in the back of your mind if you have hard times talking with one another. (((hugs)))

Donna E TN, Adnama52 & all newbies: Welcome to a great group! :flowerforyou:

NYKaren: I love the photo of you and Rori! She is awesome, indeed.

KJLamore: Congrats on your seven pound loss! WTG!!

mavisjones: Nice to see you. I hope you stop by more often.

Lauravlad: Welcome! :flowerforyou:


Today would be a yoga day but DH has a doctor appointment and can't see well enough to drive. I'm sorry to miss yoga, but happy to help him work toward better health. Yesterday I moved his recumbent bike into the living room because he claimed it is too cold in the garage for him. I've used it in the garage and in the living room, but I haven't seen him give it a spin yet. I can motivate myself to take action toward getting healthier, but I can't motivate him. He has to do that for himself. so, I'll ride in the living room while watching TV. Maybe he'll eventually get over his passivity. I hope & pray that he'll take his health seriously enough to do something about it.

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

Heather posted a quote similar to this that I wanted to use, but I couldn't recall it quite right. I went online and found this one.

"So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because the perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it's also the enemy of the realistic, the possible and the fun."


February2017 Resolutions:

1: Log every bite and swallow;
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on strength and stamina.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least 3 glasses of water a day.
5. Monitor sleep. Average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.

Happy February (already!) -

Betty - Your friend might look for a swim coach who teaches adult beginners. There was a class like that in the pool where I swam, and the coach was absolutely wonderful, taking things very slow. They spent at least one whole session just learning to put their faces in the water... that may be a little too slow for your friend, but my point is they take it a little at a time and have the patience to help people work through fear. Your friend might also be able to get "back in the saddle" by starting out with a kickboard.

Sherry - It sounds like you really found a couple of angels. So happy that worked out! And happy that you have a new attorney who'll work hard for you.

Joyce - I feel for Michelle. We had two dogs who never did manage to work out their differences, so all we could do was manage their interactions. They were our dogs, not fosters, so this went on for many years. I loved them both dearly, but it really got exhausting sometimes. Most dog fights are all sound and fury, but these two were serious about killing each other. Anyhow, it sounds like her foster boxer needs someone who can give him serious attention (i.e., someone who can stay at home with him until he's comfortable in the crate). It feels like a failure, but not every foster home is right for every dog and she made the best decision for him.

Barbie - Thank you for leading us into a fresh new month, and snuzzles to your dogs!

awashin2 - Consider yourself joined! And welcome!

Allie - You've made a hard choice and I wish you all the best. Making counseling a condition was a good call - it'll help you both identify and break old patterns.


Had a NWV at the doctor's office yesterday. She was understanding about the weight gain and my blood pressure was great. My doctor is familiar with MFP and I told her how much this group was supporting my journey. On top of that, this morning's weigh-in showed a nice weight loss for the week. Yippee!

I also didn't realize until she asked me about it that the nighttime anxiety has been nearly gone. That's a sign the antidepressant is doing its job. It's always been that way for me with this med - there's no sudden change, but one day the realization just quietly slips into my mind that I'm feeling like "me" again.

Time to get to work. I hope you all have a happy, healthy day.

-Yvonne in TX

Thank you all for the encouragement. It is nice to have people who know what it is like!
Kate - the coat looks very nice!

-Leigh in France

Kate- your coat looks much better on you now. Very classy

Meredith - don't let the size of the group discourage you. We were all new at one time too and have come to feel very close though we are all over the globe. I've only been here about 1 1/2 year and as you keep coming back and reading posts, I'm sure you will begin to "know and love" this group. We're very glad to have you join us.

Janetr OKC

choklityum : wrote:

I'm not sure how long I'll stick with the troop. At least until we can find a new Scoutmaster. And wow - you went on some awesome trips! My son went to Philmont (NM) and we did the Boundary Waters (Ely, MN). He's been to other areas around the Midwest, but nothing overseas.,

My husband went to Philmont as a boy and then twice as an adult leader. I went once as an adult leader (did an 84 mile trek), my daughter went once and my son went twice as a scout and then worked there for three years as a Ranger. Philmont has a lot of special memories for all of us. We lived in the council where it is located so we visited in the off season for treks too. The troop my son was in usually did a summer camp in a different state every other year and then stayed in state on the opposite years. I think his favorite camp was San Isabel in Colorado. He also worked there for two summers as a counselor (which then led to the Philmont staff position when he was in college.) He didn't do any overseas trips but did go to Jamboree back in ... 80? Not sure when, but Clinton was president and refused to go speak to the scouts that year... booo

Marcelyn
mom to an Eagle Scout

Kate UK: I love the coat and it fits you just as it should. WTG! Congratulations. :flowerforyou:

Pam from Tidewater VA: Welcome to a great group!

Meredith from W Africa: We get to know one another a little at a time & everyone was new at one time or another. Don't worry about it at first. You don't have to reply to anyone or everyone. Soak up what you want and reply whenever you have something to say.

Charleen in CO: I love the Indian Hills community center sign. :bigsmile:


I took DH to his doctor appointment this morning in lieu of yoga. It was important for him to go & I can go to yoga on Friday. He is doing well with BP and blood sugar control but needs to exercise more. He told the doctor how pleased he is that I brought his trike into the house and said he is eager to use it. We're home now and he is napping in a location where he can enjoy the view of his trike from behind his closed eyelids. I have used it already and will continue to use it.

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

February 2017 Resolutions:

1: Log every bite and swallow;
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on strength and stamina.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least 3 glasses of water a day.
5. Monitor sleep. Average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.

February greetings -

It sounds like many of you are having success with losing this winter! Congrats! I missed Monday weigh in because of dizziness and fatigue. Just couldn't get out of bed to go. The first meeting I have missed for "illness". I am not sure if I would have lost. I was down 2.8 for the month up to 1/23. I am working to up my protein and fats and keep my carbs under 100/day. Noticing how many sugars are in "healthy" food. Really a challenge to keep them lower.

Barbie - thanks for continuing the thread

Allie - You seem to be making a plan together so that is very positive. Keep yourself strong and independent, too. You have my support whatever you do.

Meredith - I taught for 32 years. Third graders were my favorite!

Hubby came home from work early yesterday (5). We were able to go out to dinner together. Nice!

WELCOME new friends. Come often and visit with us.

Toni in Tennessee

Hey y'all. Welcome to the newbies. I finished January better than I started. My February goal list is short.
* pre-track my meals for each day, make adjustments if needed
* Be intentional
* make every effort to reach daily step goal
Like I said it's a short list but realistic. Well, back to the chores. Have a good afternoon.

Grace in east Texas