Fighting depression & trying to get back on track

Behxo
Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
edited November 14 in Health and Weight Loss
I lost 30 lbs last year but gained it all back, (5'3" female, currently 179lbs) depression hit because of health issues, especially alopecia universalis (I'm a bald girl) causing more body issues, and other personal issues. I think depression has got to be one of the toughest things that keeps people from sticking with it, and sometimes it's just hard to find the slightest ounce of will power. Only time can heal to help fix some of those issues, but with anyone fighting such a terrible thing, were there any tips that helped you stay on track?

I know that most of it is up to me, but even the smallest things that could get me through could be a huge help.

Replies

  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    What helps me stick to my meal plan, is to plan meals I want to eat, and buy what I need for those meals, and nothing else. Eating well gives me more energy, so I want to move. Moving every day reduces stress, so I have less "need" for comfort food, and more energy, including energy to prepare good meals. Less stress makes sleep better, and a rested brain can more easily resist temptation. Willpower is a limited resource, so I save it for emergencies.

    yea, I used to meal plan but hard for me to make it a routine again. I think that's been a big problem too is chocolate, probably need to cut it out for the most part until I feel like I can buy it responsibly without binging on it. Thank you :]
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    I'm so sorry for your alopecia. I had a very good friend with that problem and it was so hard for her. Depression can be a real issue when trying to be positive but losing some excess weight can certainly be uplifting. What worked best for me was to find a plan I could live with. It isn't really just about losing weight it is about maintaining that loss. I changed things in my life slowly. The main issue to begin with was reducing calories and I was a sugar addict so I had to quit sugar. I still use products containing sugar like barbeque sauce but quit candy and other unnecessary sweets. Once I got used to eating less I tried to change to healthier versions of what I ate and after a couple months I started walking. Nothing big just 4000 steps a day (about 20 minutes). I am still only at 8000 a day. Some days I'm over and some days I'm under but I've lost 71 pounds.

    If you lost 30 pounds before you can do it again but take your time. You don't have to drop 20 pounds a month. 1 pound a week would get you there in a little over 6 months. I know that sounds like forever but every week you would be 1 pound thinner. The biggest advantage is that you won't feel starved and you can maintain the loss. Also the longer it takes the more you learn and you won't feel deprived.

    Good luck.

    thank you so much for your positive words. Alopecia really sucks, it takes a big toll on self esteem, some days I'm fine with it while others, it's a big pity party especially when I encounter rude people in public that like to treat me as if I look like an alien. I prefer becoming comfortable with being bald than wearing itchy wigs day in and day out just to please others... I try to tell myself that it could be way worse, I hope your friend is okay.

    Sugar is definitely my biggest problem, I need to try and slowly wean myself and maybe buy individual single servings than bags I can binge on. With winter here, I feel even less motivated but being here makes me feel better. :]
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    I use sugarless candy and try to limit myself to 4 hard candies a day (40 total calories for most brands). I can't eat the soft ones because I can't stop. For some reason the sugarless hard candies don't seem to set me off the way real sugar does. Might be worth a try. Also I use alot of Kool-Aid water drops. Helps to get the water down and is sweet. I know alot of people feel artificial sweetners are bad for you but so was being over 200 pounds. I figured I would rather be thinner and risk the sucralose.

    Hang in there kiddo. You are beautiful and you're gonna make your goal.

    Thank you so so much, it's honestly so nice to receive such support. That's a great tip though, I'm the same way with not being able to stop myself so I think I'll look into buying some hard candies!
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    I've been learning to live with depression and anxiety myself. In the past couple years I've lost a lot of ground due to work-related stress and loved ones fighting health issues. I chose to fight/push back a few months ago in an attempt to prioritize and reclaim my health. 45 minutes of cardio per day outside in the park religiously and without fail GREATLY reduces my depression and anxiety levels. Eating small amounts of healthy oils daily (~1tbs) found in olive oil, nuts, salmon, coconut and avocado seem to help as well with depression (and although high in cals reduces my cravings). Finally, having time to sit and reflect on my own thoughts for 1 hour a day without other people being around is very helpful.

    Yea working out always reduced them for me too, it's just finding the energy to make it a routine again when depression got the best of you and feel tired every day once more. :[ thank you for the awesome tips!
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
    Behxo wrote: »
    I've been learning to live with depression and anxiety myself. In the past couple years I've lost a lot of ground due to work-related stress and loved ones fighting health issues. I chose to fight/push back a few months ago in an attempt to prioritize and reclaim my health. 45 minutes of cardio per day outside in the park religiously and without fail GREATLY reduces my depression and anxiety levels. Eating small amounts of healthy oils daily (~1tbs) found in olive oil, nuts, salmon, coconut and avocado seem to help as well with depression (and although high in cals reduces my cravings). Finally, having time to sit and reflect on my own thoughts for 1 hour a day without other people being around is very helpful.

    Yea working out always reduced them for me too, it's just finding the energy to make it a routine again when depression got the best of you and feel tired every day once more. :[ thank you for the awesome tips!

    I know it can be a vicious cycle when you know working out helps with the depression, but you are depressed and don't want to work out. I have dealt with that also. I have kept on the workout routine even when everything else seems to be crappy around me. (Seems to be is the word I have to remember, a lot of times things aren't as bad in real life as they are in my head) Hopefully you can find a way to get back into healthy routines. I am currently working on the healthy eating part
  • try2again wrote: »
    Sorry- meant to follow up my link with a comment. I just remembered that we had a really nice thread about this a couple of weeks ago. Maintaining health & losing weight while struggling with depression is definitely a challenge, but it can be done. :)

    You had a really good post on that thread, thanks for sharing.
  • alijtd
    alijtd Posts: 10 Member
    I don't have much advice, because I'm just starting again on my "last" last time, but I have depression, I'm pretty sure an undiagnosed binge eating disorder to go with it, and it is so hard to stay motivated.

    This is probably counter-productive after a while, but I do find that the busier I keep myself, the less depressed I am. When I have free time I tend to sit around, which leads to binge eating, weight gain, and overall feeling like I'm not worthy of being beautiful.

    Currently I work FT, I have 2 kids and a husband and a home, and I'm in college PT. Trying to take each day in baby steps: yesterday I took down the Christmas tree and rearranged the living room, today my sister is dropping by my office so we can walk together. I just need to give myself something to do each day and I'll be OK.

    I also just weaned my "baby" over the weekend, so I plan to switch my anti-depressant from Zoloft generic to Wellbutrin to help with energy levels, sex drive, and motivation.

    Good luck to you on your journey.
  • alijtd
    alijtd Posts: 10 Member
    I'm so sorry for your alopecia. I had a very good friend with that problem and it was so hard for her. Depression can be a real issue when trying to be positive but losing some excess weight can certainly be uplifting. What worked best for me was to find a plan I could live with. It isn't really just about losing weight it is about maintaining that loss. I changed things in my life slowly. The main issue to begin with was reducing calories and I was a sugar addict so I had to quit sugar. I still use products containing sugar like barbeque sauce but quit candy and other unnecessary sweets. Once I got used to eating less I tried to change to healthier versions of what I ate and after a couple months I started walking. Nothing big just 4000 steps a day (about 20 minutes). I am still only at 8000 a day. Some days I'm over and some days I'm under but I've lost 71 pounds.

    If you lost 30 pounds before you can do it again but take your time. You don't have to drop 20 pounds a month. 1 pound a week would get you there in a little over 6 months. I know that sounds like forever but every week you would be 1 pound thinner. The biggest advantage is that you won't feel starved and you can maintain the loss. Also the longer it takes the more you learn and you won't feel deprived.

    Good luck.

    Such great advice! I've gone whole hog before, but I'm focused on maintainable goals this time (just 50 lbs in the first year). And cutting sugar is HUGE. Even if you don't meal plan, cut some fruit up and send yourself a piece of dark chocolate each day (like a Dove single) to help get past the cravings. I'm only day 3 and I'm looking forward to my strawberries and hot tea this afternoon instead of my usual dessert-and-coffee afternoon "snack". I can't say I won't give in the next time I see a cannoli, but I did pass my favorite donut shop yesterday without a glance.
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    alijtd wrote: »
    I'm so sorry for your alopecia. I had a very good friend with that problem and it was so hard for her. Depression can be a real issue when trying to be positive but losing some excess weight can certainly be uplifting. What worked best for me was to find a plan I could live with. It isn't really just about losing weight it is about maintaining that loss. I changed things in my life slowly. The main issue to begin with was reducing calories and I was a sugar addict so I had to quit sugar. I still use products containing sugar like barbeque sauce but quit candy and other unnecessary sweets. Once I got used to eating less I tried to change to healthier versions of what I ate and after a couple months I started walking. Nothing big just 4000 steps a day (about 20 minutes). I am still only at 8000 a day. Some days I'm over and some days I'm under but I've lost 71 pounds.

    If you lost 30 pounds before you can do it again but take your time. You don't have to drop 20 pounds a month. 1 pound a week would get you there in a little over 6 months. I know that sounds like forever but every week you would be 1 pound thinner. The biggest advantage is that you won't feel starved and you can maintain the loss. Also the longer it takes the more you learn and you won't feel deprived.

    Good luck.

    Such great advice! I've gone whole hog before, but I'm focused on maintainable goals this time (just 50 lbs in the first year). And cutting sugar is HUGE. Even if you don't meal plan, cut some fruit up and send yourself a piece of dark chocolate each day (like a Dove single) to help get past the cravings. I'm only day 3 and I'm looking forward to my strawberries and hot tea this afternoon instead of my usual dessert-and-coffee afternoon "snack". I can't say I won't give in the next time I see a cannoli, but I did pass my favorite donut shop yesterday without a glance.

    Great achievement! Baby steps :]
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I know someone with alopecia. It was a tough road to hoe for her too, being a woman and being bald. I know another woman who used to wear a lot of wigs, then had issue with one of them, and pretty much stays bald now (can't remember the details).

    Depression is a hard thing to deal with - I have PCO and depression goes hand-in-hand with it. (I'm 5'4 and lost 140 pounds, and gained back 100. SO I can relate to that too.) Talk to a therapist and or one of your doctors to see if taking something for the depression might be worthwhile. In either case, speaking to a therapist is a good idea too - someone who's not your husband, parent, sibling or whoever - "3rd party independent".

    As far as getting back on the weight loss wagon - that was HARD for me. I started in April 2011 - lost 115 pounds, had skin removal surgery (for another 26 pounds), the recovery was H-A-R-D!!! I lost my dad to multiple myeloma in 2013. I had to fight for my job in 2015. So yeah - I had life happen and which got me totally de-railed and I gained back 100 pounds. Now I'm up and moving again trying to get rid of the rest of it.

    I started with one question: What's the most important thing I need to do to start? T-H-E most important was logging my food. So that's what I focused on. Then I started making sure I had things I could eat that were reasonably healthy - yogurt, string cheese, pretzels, bottles of water, etc. Finally it seemed to "click".

    I also give myself permission to be human. Over Christmas - yes it happens once a year - and my family always makes bourbon balls for Christmas. So - I knew I wasn't going to be able to resist - so "control the stumble". Have some - enjoy them - whether you mark them down or not. Remember - humans are fallible beings, so it's not "If" you'll stumble but "when". No beating yourself up about it. Just a fact of life. Then back on track. I realized that every time I tell myself there's something I can't have - I want it all the more. It isn't "everything in moderation". I hate that phrase. It's a conscious decision to relax the rules just a bit so I won't binge later on and quit on myself AGAIN.

    Okay - I'll be on this rabbit trail all day -

    Good luck to you....I hope everything works out....
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    cebreisch wrote: »
    I know someone with alopecia. It was a tough road to hoe for her too, being a woman and being bald. I know another woman who used to wear a lot of wigs, then had issue with one of them, and pretty much stays bald now (can't remember the details).

    Depression is a hard thing to deal with - I have PCO and depression goes hand-in-hand with it. (I'm 5'4 and lost 140 pounds, and gained back 100. SO I can relate to that too.) Talk to a therapist and or one of your doctors to see if taking something for the depression might be worthwhile. In either case, speaking to a therapist is a good idea too - someone who's not your husband, parent, sibling or whoever - "3rd party independent".

    As far as getting back on the weight loss wagon - that was HARD for me. I started in April 2011 - lost 115 pounds, had skin removal surgery (for another 26 pounds), the recovery was H-A-R-D!!! I lost my dad to multiple myeloma in 2013. I had to fight for my job in 2015. So yeah - I had life happen and which got me totally de-railed and I gained back 100 pounds. Now I'm up and moving again trying to get rid of the rest of it.

    I started with one question: What's the most important thing I need to do to start? T-H-E most important was logging my food. So that's what I focused on. Then I started making sure I had things I could eat that were reasonably healthy - yogurt, string cheese, pretzels, bottles of water, etc. Finally it seemed to "click".

    I also give myself permission to be human. Over Christmas - yes it happens once a year - and my family always makes bourbon balls for Christmas. So - I knew I wasn't going to be able to resist - so "control the stumble". Have some - enjoy them - whether you mark them down or not. Remember - humans are fallible beings, so it's not "If" you'll stumble but "when". No beating yourself up about it. Just a fact of life. Then back on track. I realized that every time I tell myself there's something I can't have - I want it all the more. It isn't "everything in moderation". I hate that phrase. It's a conscious decision to relax the rules just a bit so I won't binge later on and quit on myself AGAIN.

    Okay - I'll be on this rabbit trail all day -

    Good luck to you....I hope everything works out....

    Thank you for taking the time to type your story and advice out, all of this helps a lot. Best of luck to you too!
  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
    @Bexho I too have depression, anxiety concurrently with auto-immune conditions and have taken the plunge to return to anti-depressant medication to help.I was very resitant to doing this but in all honesty it has helped....I think that I was at the point of sheer exhuastion trying to battle on alone, so if you aren't already on meds. maybe this is a way to help you too.

    In the past I have been through 3 rounds of chemotherapy (lowish dose) to help the Lupus. I lost a lot of hair each round. I was gutted, it really did effect my self-esteem to the point where I was reluctant to leave the house. For a younger Lady such as yourself I can only scratch the surface to imagine what you are going through.

    In regards to losing weight when you are depressed you have had some brilliant advice I agree with starting off with baby steps and would choose getting into a pattern of logging and have that as an accurate guide, first.

    It only takes a few minutes and it will give you a concrete insight into where improvements can be made. You might find that your are particularly low in a certain macro and not having enough water, so the logging can then be a guide for you to start to improve your nutrition that will have positive effects on your physical health and hopefully spinoff into helping your mental health.

    Exercise is fabulous for a healthy body but not necessary for weight loss and whilst many with depression find that exercise helps with their moods this is not universal. I know for me exercise is pretty hit and miss when it comes to mood change, yes I feel that I have accomplished a task and there is satisfaction in that but sadly it doesn't always translate into lifting the black dog off my back.

    Also I found that intense cardio always ramped up my anxiety and I had to consequently change what I did, for example no more HIIT or intense workout videos, I swapped in weights, Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates and meditation. Some of these I did at home but others were classes and that helped me get out of the house and ease the lonliness that comes with depression, just a thought.

    For me meditation and mindfulness training was a game changer. I will never be free of these health issues and they impact my life and how I want to live it immensely. I have gone through every stage of grief as a result. Honouring those feelings was extremely beneficial for me, a lot of the weight on my mind eased by being able to accept my difficulties and challenges perhaps these ideas will help you too.

    I wish you all the best. <3
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    alijtd wrote: »
    I don't have much advice, because I'm just starting again on my "last" last time, but I have depression, I'm pretty sure an undiagnosed binge eating disorder to go with it, and it is so hard to stay motivated.

    This is probably counter-productive after a while, but I do find that the busier I keep myself, the less depressed I am. When I have free time I tend to sit around, which leads to binge eating, weight gain, and overall feeling like I'm not worthy of being beautiful.

    Currently I work FT, I have 2 kids and a husband and a home, and I'm in college PT. Trying to take each day in baby steps: yesterday I took down the Christmas tree and rearranged the living room, today my sister is dropping by my office so we can walk together. I just need to give myself something to do each day and I'll be OK.

    I also just weaned my "baby" over the weekend, so I plan to switch my anti-depressant from Zoloft generic to Wellbutrin to help with energy levels, sex drive, and motivation.

    Good luck to you on your journey.

    I think it was Zoloft that made me lose my ability to climax. Hooray for Welbutrin! It's also a little speedy, which I find very helpful.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,979 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    alijtd wrote: »
    I don't have much advice, because I'm just starting again on my "last" last time, but I have depression, I'm pretty sure an undiagnosed binge eating disorder to go with it, and it is so hard to stay motivated.

    This is probably counter-productive after a while, but I do find that the busier I keep myself, the less depressed I am. When I have free time I tend to sit around, which leads to binge eating, weight gain, and overall feeling like I'm not worthy of being beautiful.

    Currently I work FT, I have 2 kids and a husband and a home, and I'm in college PT. Trying to take each day in baby steps: yesterday I took down the Christmas tree and rearranged the living room, today my sister is dropping by my office so we can walk together. I just need to give myself something to do each day and I'll be OK.

    I also just weaned my "baby" over the weekend, so I plan to switch my anti-depressant from Zoloft generic to Wellbutrin to help with energy levels, sex drive, and motivation.

    Good luck to you on your journey.

    I think it was Zoloft that made me lose my ability to climax. Hooray for Welbutrin! It's also a little speedy, which I find very helpful.

    It's tough to find the right one for a lot of us. I have zero side effects with Zoloft and had a terrible time on Welbutrin.

    Once I added in a regular lifting program, I was able to cut my Rx in half too.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,745 Member
    I'm another one with issues with depression. I go through periods where I have few issues then others with a serious inability to function. Exercise helps me, and most especially spending time in nature. A good hike will lift me up for a couple of days, while a TM run will just keep me going until bedtime. Both help. When I don't want to exercise, I do it anyway, because I know from experience that I will feel better if I do and worse (mad at myself) if I don't. I also find watching what I eat to be helpful, because it is something I have real control over, unlike many other things in my life.
  • fitRTs
    fitRTs Posts: 58 Member
    Depression is incredibly hard to explain to others who haven't dealt with it. It's nice to have people who understand the struggle.

    -Getting out and actually exercising is really hard, but I generally feel better afterwards. However, telling myself that isn't often helpful in actually getting me up and active. I have a dog - that's the real helpful thing for me because I have to get him his exercise. I swear, he makes every day so much better for me.
    -Having someone I can walk with who I'm close to and who understands the things I'm going through (or at least tries to) is really helpful and can push me to do more.
    -As a few others have mentioned, nature (especially on sunny days - that serotonin boost!) is really a benefit if you're able to get out there. I have one of those special lights that mimics the sunlight, which I sometimes pull out in the winter when the days are shorter.
    alijtd wrote: »

    I think it was Zoloft that made me lose my ability to climax. Hooray for Welbutrin! It's also a little speedy, which I find very helpful.

    I was on zoloft from the age of 11 (with dosages increasing as my age did). As an adult, I started to recognize a lack of sexual stimulation, lack of sex drive, general zombie-like feeling which i believe is somewhat common for some people on the drug. Even when adding Wellbutrin in college, I still had very little sex drive and felt like a zombie. So recently, I've gone off the zoloft completely and am just on the wellbutrin. Will see how that goes. The wellbutrin definitely helps with my emotional eating, I think it makes me less likely to binge. I think that finding the right combination for me will (hopefully) be really helpful.
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    Thank you for the kind words everyone and sharing your experiences as well
  • carriewallace76
    carriewallace76 Posts: 3 Member
    Behxo wrote: »
    I lost 30 lbs last year but gained it all back, (5'3" female, currently 179lbs) depression hit because of health issues, especially alopecia universalis (I'm a bald girl) causing more body issues, and other personal issues. I think depression has got to be one of the toughest things that keeps people from sticking with it, and sometimes it's just hard to find the slightest ounce of will power. Only time can heal to help fix some of those issues, but with anyone fighting such a terrible thing, were there any tips that helped you stay on track?

    I know that most of it is up to me, but even the smallest things that could get me through could be a huge help.

  • carriewallace76
    carriewallace76 Posts: 3 Member
    My 17 year old Daughter has Alopecia too. It is so tough. You are very pretty. Beautiful eyes! Keep that beautiful head up girl!!
  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
    I got you in the feels. I lost about 80, gained about 40 back, today I was having such a bad self-image day, and I'm still recovering from surgery so I just feel like a useless lump so to say I'm depressed would be about right. For me the most important thing is to fill out my diary, it's not the thrill of doing it, of being all green (cause it aiiiin't), it's just filling it out and knowing that I'm doing the best for me as best as I can each and every day. If I get too depressed, I try and get out and about, even if it's just going for a drive or to sit at a bench at a nice park (too many people makes me agitated), or even just watch a bunch of funny YouTube videos to make me laugh. The most important thing to remember is that there are people that care, and you're not the only person to feel the way you do and if you need to talk to a therapist to help you, there's no shame in that. It's okay not to be okay. And I think you're beautiful! You have beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile.
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    My 17 year old Daughter has Alopecia too. It is so tough. You are very pretty. Beautiful eyes! Keep that beautiful head up girl!!

    Thank you so much, I hope your daughter is doing well also
    Afura wrote: »
    I got you in the feels. I lost about 80, gained about 40 back, today I was having such a bad self-image day, and I'm still recovering from surgery so I just feel like a useless lump so to say I'm depressed would be about right. For me the most important thing is to fill out my diary, it's not the thrill of doing it, of being all green (cause it aiiiin't), it's just filling it out and knowing that I'm doing the best for me as best as I can each and every day. If I get too depressed, I try and get out and about, even if it's just going for a drive or to sit at a bench at a nice park (too many people makes me agitated), or even just watch a bunch of funny YouTube videos to make me laugh. The most important thing to remember is that there are people that care, and you're not the only person to feel the way you do and if you need to talk to a therapist to help you, there's no shame in that. It's okay not to be okay. And I think you're beautiful! You have beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile.

    Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you recover quick and best wishes on your journey. Also for the support, somedays are good while others are bad, but I will get through it... I'm on week two in a row right now which I havent done in awhile, so I'm on track again it seems like. ]
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