Dating and dieting
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NorthCascades wrote: »rchlthompson wrote: »I guess I should be more specific and less facetious. Typical dating involves food that is not in my normal catalog and drinks than I would not typically have. I understand it's easy to say "just don't do it" and I understand and respect that to a degree. However, I'm trying to fit in real life with my real life struggle to lose the last 20 pounds. My problem comes in is with the gray line. I can do this once a week, and that's OK. Problem is I have three or four dates a week and it's becoming excessive and impossible to lose the weight that I want.
What's more important to you?
They are both important.
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Check online for restaurant's calorie counts - write down a few on your phone that sound good and then you can decide when you get to the restaurant. There are things that are healthy but also will not make you look like a "salad and water girl"
i.e. cheeseburger, sandwich, rice bowl.
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But also in my opinion, get the salad and water if you want it!
There's nothing wrong with looking like a girl who watches her figure and cares about eating healthily.1 -
I absolutely hate going to restaurants on first dates because I feel stuck. If 5 minutes after we sit down I realize he is not going to work I can't leave. Instead I prefer to do dates at museums, mini golf, an art gallery, hiking, or even a bar with a good menu and a pool table it's too much pressure just sitting and eating especially if the food is wring and I have to send it back. Don't limit yourself to dinner if you are going on multiple dates a week do something fun, one of the bars in my town even does an an art class/tasting bi-weekly.1
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I'd say at this point your best option is just to shoot for maintenance. I'm pretty sure I'd have issue losing weight eating out and drinking 3-4 nights per week...I could maintain for sure, but I don't think I could cut weight doing that.
Married, so haven't dated in awhile, but dinner and drink dates were always my least favorite kind of dates...I always found them to be so awkward and borderline fake. I always liked doing something...my wife and I's first date was taking the Tram to the top of the Sandia Mountains and hiking around for a few hours...we weren't stuck awkwardly staring at each other and making small talk to break up silence...we hiked around, talked, joked around, laughed, etc. We wore appropriate hiking gear so we didn't look all fake and made up...got sweaty, and decided we had such a good time that it warranted a stop at the restaurant on top of the mountain for some suds.6 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »I'd say at this point your best option is just to shoot for maintenance. I'm pretty sure I'd have issue losing weight eating out and drinking 3-4 nights per week...I could maintain for sure, but I don't think I could cut weight doing that.
Married, so haven't dated in awhile, but dinner and drink dates were always my least favorite kind of dates...I always found them to be so awkward and borderline fake. I always liked doing something...my wife and I's first date was taking the Tram to the top of the Sandia Mountains and hiking around for a few hours...we weren't stuck awkwardly staring at each other and making small talk to break up silence...we hiked around, talked, joked around, laughed, etc. We wore appropriate hiking gear so we didn't look all fake and made up...got sweaty, and decided we had such a good time that it warranted a stop at the restaurant on top of the mountain for some suds.
Now that's what I'm talking about. Can't blame you for hitching up with that kind of lady.2 -
I am having a hard time understanding your goals. Why do you want to look for a partner by following habits you don't want to follow "in real life"? Will you really find a suitable partner who will support your goals and share your lifestyle by doing that? I agree that you want to celebrate your newly developed body. Do you want a guy who is mainly interested in your new fabulous sexy body? There are lots of avenues for dating these days, have you considered online dating where you can set up a profile and find someone who shares your goals?
As far as eating, have your whiskey and tacos as often as you can fit them into your calorie & macro goals. Make them part of your plan and know how much you can have each week, along with other foods to keep you within your goal and macro nutrition. This is not going to change after you meet someone. I would encourage you to stay in control of your life and eating and think over your plan. If you can't handle it for one week of dating, what are you going to do the rest of your life? I don't mean that in a bad way, just a little wake up nudge. Just read the dozens of threads from people who've gained it back umpteen times. What is YOUR plan so this doesn't happen to you?
The OP may be in sort of a catch 22 as she said she is not going out with the same person on each date. On Tuesday the guy that takes her for tacos and whiskey may be extremely health conscious and that is the only night of the week he eats like that. However, on Thursday she goes out with someone else and has the tacos and whiskey again. Same thing on Friday, etc.2 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »I'd say at this point your best option is just to shoot for maintenance. I'm pretty sure I'd have issue losing weight eating out and drinking 3-4 nights per week...I could maintain for sure, but I don't think I could cut weight doing that.
Married, so haven't dated in awhile, but dinner and drink dates were always my least favorite kind of dates...I always found them to be so awkward and borderline fake. I always liked doing something...my wife and I's first date was taking the Tram to the top of the Sandia Mountains and hiking around for a few hours...we weren't stuck awkwardly staring at each other and making small talk to break up silence...we hiked around, talked, joked around, laughed, etc. We wore appropriate hiking gear so we didn't look all fake and made up...got sweaty, and decided we had such a good time that it warranted a stop at the restaurant on top of the mountain for some suds.
I've been with my boyfriend 4 years and our first date was hiking and we had so much fun we went for ice cream and then dinner and then a bar. Doing something makes me feel like I'm not under a microscope lol.1 -
Packerjohn wrote: »I am having a hard time understanding your goals. Why do you want to look for a partner by following habits you don't want to follow "in real life"? Will you really find a suitable partner who will support your goals and share your lifestyle by doing that? I agree that you want to celebrate your newly developed body. Do you want a guy who is mainly interested in your new fabulous sexy body? There are lots of avenues for dating these days, have you considered online dating where you can set up a profile and find someone who shares your goals?
As far as eating, have your whiskey and tacos as often as you can fit them into your calorie & macro goals. Make them part of your plan and know how much you can have each week, along with other foods to keep you within your goal and macro nutrition. This is not going to change after you meet someone. I would encourage you to stay in control of your life and eating and think over your plan. If you can't handle it for one week of dating, what are you going to do the rest of your life? I don't mean that in a bad way, just a little wake up nudge. Just read the dozens of threads from people who've gained it back umpteen times. What is YOUR plan so this doesn't happen to you?
The OP may be in sort of a catch 22 as she said she is not going out with the same person on each date. On Tuesday the guy that takes her for tacos and whiskey may be extremely health conscious and that is the only night of the week he eats like that. However, on Thursday she goes out with someone else and has the tacos and whiskey again. Same thing on Friday, etc.
Yes, this is pretty accurate. I'm down to one guy, but I had 7 dates in 10 days. Not all of them were dinner and drinks, some more coffee, but I over ate/drank. Just looking for solutions moving forward.
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Someone probably already said this, but... When you agree on where to meet/eat, do a quick google search and plan your meal/drinks ahead of time.1
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Gallowmere1984 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »I'd say at this point your best option is just to shoot for maintenance. I'm pretty sure I'd have issue losing weight eating out and drinking 3-4 nights per week...I could maintain for sure, but I don't think I could cut weight doing that.
Married, so haven't dated in awhile, but dinner and drink dates were always my least favorite kind of dates...I always found them to be so awkward and borderline fake. I always liked doing something...my wife and I's first date was taking the Tram to the top of the Sandia Mountains and hiking around for a few hours...we weren't stuck awkwardly staring at each other and making small talk to break up silence...we hiked around, talked, joked around, laughed, etc. We wore appropriate hiking gear so we didn't look all fake and made up...got sweaty, and decided we had such a good time that it warranted a stop at the restaurant on top of the mountain for some suds.
Now that's what I'm talking about. Can't blame you for hitching up with that kind of lady.
We still prefer stuff like this...we have date night Saturday and we're going to the climbing gym...and then out for beers2 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »I'd say at this point your best option is just to shoot for maintenance. I'm pretty sure I'd have issue losing weight eating out and drinking 3-4 nights per week...I could maintain for sure, but I don't think I could cut weight doing that.
Married, so haven't dated in awhile, but dinner and drink dates were always my least favorite kind of dates...I always found them to be so awkward and borderline fake. I always liked doing something...my wife and I's first date was taking the Tram to the top of the Sandia Mountains and hiking around for a few hours...we weren't stuck awkwardly staring at each other and making small talk to break up silence...we hiked around, talked, joked around, laughed, etc. We wore appropriate hiking gear so we didn't look all fake and made up...got sweaty, and decided we had such a good time that it warranted a stop at the restaurant on top of the mountain for some suds.
Now that's what I'm talking about. Can't blame you for hitching up with that kind of lady.
We still prefer stuff like this...we have date night Saturday and we're going to the climbing gym...and then out for beers
Couples like you are why I keep dating. I know he's out there.
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I was just reading back through some of this and I want to offer my sincere apologies for some of the typos...Talk to text hates me. Cheers friends, thanks to everybody who commented.0
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Ugh. My pizza/whiskey date just left and now I'm bingey. I give advice and then don't take my own #refeed #willsquatwelltomorrow 1
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subcounter wrote: »
As I eat a bowl of pasta....
I'm tired of being in a deficit anyway. I want to lift all the weight.0 -
subcounter wrote: »
As I eat a bowl of pasta....
I'm tired of being in a deficit anyway. I want to lift all the weight.
Gotta eat big to get big. I usually do my PR's on a nice carb load. #staypositive
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Maybe try communicating for a bit more online before meeting in person, that way you can be a bit more selective about who you date. Also, if meeting for the first time you could suggest a coffee date first. That way you won't find yourself wasting so many calories on guys you will only see once anyway. Try low calorie alcoholic drinks or only having one alcoholic drink on a date as well especially if you have work the next day, that is a good reason to not drink alot. Also choose a low calorie menu option, ask questions about how the food is prepared. If the portions are huge cut the meal into quarters. Eat a quarter of your food, drink two glasses of water and then wait 15 minutes before deciding if you want more.
As well, just remember you're always in control of what you eat and drink and no one can force you.1 -
Don't mention diet on a date... workout extra before you go..the day after...and eat light to compensate. Then order the lean stuff. He'll just think you're fit and healthy. If going out four times a weeks means happy hours to meet guys.. you could be in trouble..unless you nurse a drink and say NO to bar food.0
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elisa123gal wrote: »Don't mention diet on a date... workout extra before you go..the day after...and eat light to compensate. Then order the lean stuff. He'll just think you're fit and healthy. If going out four times a weeks means happy hours to meet guys.. you could be in trouble..unless you nurse a drink and say NO to bar food.
I don't think she's on a diet, though, as she wants this to be a permanent lifestyle change. I have met a couple guys who think it's cool I have had such determination to change my lifestyle and my diet . . .and really, all diet means is what you consume. People say all the time my diet consists of . . . . or whatever. I dunno, I don't think I'd specifically bring it but if he mentions something about me running (which I have on my profile) or changing up my lifestyle (which I also have on there) then I don't see why I couldn't talk about it. I am not a typical salad and water girl though, I like to get to know someone. I won't pretend to be someone I'm not because if they want a second date based on the first - where I was someone I'm not - then I have to keep that up and that's just really, really exhausting.1
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