Unsupportive partners/spouses?

I normally confront my challenges alone.

In this specific case, I wanted to make my journey as a long term, so not abrupt changes and minimum impact in my day to day routine, to run away from the yo-yo effect.

So my closed ones were not aware of what I did. They even noticed some curious changes, like having MORE breakfast calories than before. Going to the gym was a clear tell anyway

Now, after 6 months and 20 kgs lost. My family is asking me how to get in better shape

Wow. I had no idea what some people were putting up with at home. While my husband really needs to lose weight and he isn't doing anything about it, he is definitely not unsupportive. He hasn't commented on my weight loss but is encouraging when I update him on pounds or inches lost. He complains sometimes about being overweight but I can't do it for him. If he wants to stuff his face with junk it is on him. I am not his mother so I don't nag him about what he does or doesn't eat. I just try and set an example. Also, since I cook supper, he eats what I make. If he doesn't like it he can cook for himself. Not to say that I purposely make things he doesn't like, but I don't live to serve. You can't make someone change. You can only control yourself and your choices. Here's to confidence and happiness and feeling good about ourselves!

My wife doesn't have the same drive or passion as I do when it comes to health, fitness, eating right. However, i'm very persistent and contagious when it comes to preaching topics about this that it finally paid off. Now we work out together daily at home using P90x, Some yoga DVD's from the book store, and general walking.

I do most the cooking and I live a 90-95% vegan lifestyle. I've had fish on a few occasions, so that's where the 90-95% comes in to play. Nevertheless, several approaches from being the tough guy, nice guy, to the (i'm just gonna do this by myself guy), I have tried to motivate her. What worked was positive reinforcement, leading by example, and educating. IF we're watching t.v. we would watch shows like, biggest loser, or any other weight loss shows, and this really opened up for a dialogue for us to have.

I was also careful of how I used my words. Instead of saying "YOU" I replaced it with "WE". And, instead of saying We should I replaced with We can and WE WILL.

All of these tips I studied from a psychological approach and it has paid off. So plant the seed early and water it with positivity. Your spouse will eventually come around.

There is most defiantly a difference in people being unsupportive and abusive. My ex started as the unsupportive type, but quickly turned into the abusive type. Hence the ex factor. He started out just telling me that a gym membership was a waste of money, and I should just go outside and run up and down the road. By the way, we had a gym in town that was $10/month. NOT a big waste of money! I really watched what I was eating and went to the gym for an hour to an hour and a half almost every day, mostly just cardio. I ended up losing 43 pounds in about 5 months. After about the first 15, it started out that I was "seeing" someone at the gym. Another 10 and it turned into I was a big wh*re, and was "screwing" every guy there. I tried to get him to go with me several times, but he always refused. Seriously, I went from 187 to 143 in 5 months! Wouldn't you think it was obvious that I was working out?! And there's just no way anyone could have that much sex to burn that many calories! Lol. I put up with it for so long because we had a child together. But after a couple of years, I started caring less and less about him. I was trying to improve my health, and he thought I was trying to expand my sex life...all over town. But after finding several texts to his ex (who actually DID sleep around with at least 10 guys during their 5 years of marriage) about how he wanted her, he was gone. And really, I wasn't snooping through his phone. I grabbed it to take a picture of one of the kids, and when I turned it on, that was on the screen.
I would really suggest that, if it's a boyfriend/girlfriend or fiancé, you need to find a new one. Marriage does NOT fix anything, and it only makes them more possessive and critical. Especially if it starts out that way. If you are trying to improve your health and lose weight, even if it's only for vanity reasons, you do not need the criticism, lack of support, or mental abuse. If you dot have that level of trust in a relationship, find one you do. If you are married, you need to have a serious heart to heart and explain exactly why you're doing what you're doing and what you need from them. Maybe they'll jump on board and maybe not, but at least they could start being more supportive and less critical. You only get one life, and there is no reason to spend it in an unhappy relationship. You deserve better than that, regardless of gender. The fear of being alone shouldn't stop you from getting out of a toxic relationship. I have been single for almost 2 years, raising 4 children entirely on my own, and I have never been in a more mentally healthy place in my life. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I know I can take care of myself an my children. I haven't even received child support! And there are reasons behind that, so please don't leave a comment on that part. There are reasons I don't want their money.
Regardless of the type of relationship you are in, if it is mentally unhealthy or abusive, have a good discussion about it and see if you can fix it. Give them the chance to fix it. If nothing changes, or even gets worse, just get out. It really isn't worth it, as you deserve so much better! If you do have one of those amazing, supportive spouses/SO's, give them a great big hug and tell them how amazing they are.

I love my SO...but he LOVES to eat out and grab drinks at the bar on the weekend which blows my calories. He's super fit so he doesn't need to watch his intake like I do. He will run and bike with me but I always feel like I'm slowing him down...sigh...
One of my trainer friends called us "not nutritionally intimate" lol. That pretty much sums it up.