My Dr made me feel like crap yesterday....

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Replies

  • MindyBruno
    MindyBruno Posts: 535 Member
    You look amazing in both photos. I agree with changing doctors. You need a doctor that can build you up not tear you down. Especially with your history of eating disorders.
  • mickey2942
    mickey2942 Posts: 71 Member
    You need to change providers. Stat.
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
    Honestly - it looks like you've gained muscle, not fat. You look great! But good luck on your goals; if you find yourself restricting calories below healthy levels, please consider going to a new doctor.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    SpotLighttt wrote: »
    Perhaps the doctor was not being malicious?

    This is basically my question/thought. How, exactly, did the doctor say this? And what did she follow up this statement with?

    15-20 lb is what I would consider a fair amount of weight, but it's not necessarily bad. In addition, since your doctor knows of your battle(s) with anorexia, was she maybe pleased by the weight gain?
  • iofred
    iofred Posts: 488 Member
    must be blind as a cuckoo , but where are those 20lbs?? you look great in both pics
  • healthypelican
    healthypelican Posts: 215 Member
    You look great in both!
  • GeorgesGirl65
    GeorgesGirl65 Posts: 9 Member
    Sometimes doctors can be incredibly insensitive. My problem is that they always tend to look at me and say I should have weight loss surgery. At my age I now let them know that that was not appropriate when I am not seeing you about my weight. Of course I know I need to lose weight and no I don't want to have surgery! Yesterday my doctor made me cry because she asked me who was there to support me with my husband who has cancer, my broken wrist and my weight loss struggles. No one, no one is there to support me - I need a housekeeper.
  • wellthenwhat
    wellthenwhat Posts: 526 Member
    Wow, your doctor was a jerk! I'm the same way. I'm fit, but not as fit as I was. If someone told me that, it would devastate me. I'm currently trying to get to the point that I'll be happy in a two piece. c31xfhaxjkc8.jpg
  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
    You look lovely in both pics and perhaps your doctor was tactless. However, it's their job to talk about weight loss/gain with you.
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
    Pay no attention to the crabs in the crab bucket telling you that you look fine the way you are. If your goal is a leaner weight, that is all that matters. Work hard, and remember how this feels before putting weight back on. If a doctor making a plain medical statement "triggers" your eating disorders that's more in the realm of needing a therapist than anything. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the observation oh physical changes. Be glad you got a kick in the butt now instead of if you let it keep going.

    (You do look great, but that is NOT the point, do not let looking great demotivate you. Hit the gym. Count the calories).
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    Happy birthday! My birthday is Saturday. I had a very similar experience with my doctor last summer. I admitted that I had gained about 10 pounds but I was in the gym 5 days a week lifting heavy and that my measurements were going down. He told me that didn't mean anything and that I needed to do less weight lifting and more cardio.

    I about fell off the chair. I'm in the best shape of my life (and do admit that I need to lose a few more pounds) and for him to tell me I'm doing it all wrong after I've finally found something that will keep me in the gym was devastating.

    When its time for my next physical I'm finding a new doctor.

    It taught me a lesson: not all doctors know what they're talking about when it comes to weight loss and exercising.
  • NightShadeMary
    NightShadeMary Posts: 16 Member
    Jax, you look badass and amazing! What an inspiration! I've wanted to slap a few doctors in the past. I went to see a new cardiologist several years ago, and he was looking at my bloodwork (elevated cholesterol and triglycerides) and family history (diabetes is common on the maternal side) and he said "Do you have diabetes?" I said "No" (patting myself on the back), and he said "Well, you will." I was dumbfounded. Never went back to him again, and part of my motivation in getting healthy has been "I'm going to prove Dr. Whats-His-Face wrong." Keep on doing - you are fabulous!
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    I also wonder if it wasn't just a matter-of-fact statement, and not intended as a criticism. If there was some doubt, you could have asked for clarification- "Are you saying my weight is unhealthy?"- rather than stew on it privately. And if you were certain it was delivered critically, you should have challenged her. That shouldn't be the first thing out of a doctor's mouth about anyone, let alone someone with your history.

    All that aside, I agree both versions of you are impressive! Frankly, I favor the heavier one :)
  • rainbow198
    rainbow198 Posts: 2,245 Member
    That's too bad. I do agree with the other posters questioning the doctor's intent. Sounds a bit malicious to me as well.

    You know what to do so keep working hard and I wish you the best with reaching your goal. Happy early bday!
  • JeanieWww
    JeanieWww Posts: 4,037 Member
    If those pics are what you look like, then your doctor should be ashamed, not you. Overall, you look fit and healthy. Next time your doc says something like that, just tell her along the lines, "and wow, look what a big hurtful mouth you got!" It will teach her a proper lesson in manners in a short but sweet manner.
  • AmbitiousButRubbish
    AmbitiousButRubbish Posts: 246 Member
    You look great. Your doctor would have a heart attack after seeing me then haha
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
    Wow! You look incredible in those pictures. I don't think you need to change a thing.
  • Laurie6578
    Laurie6578 Posts: 154 Member
    sbrandt37 wrote: »
    I think you look fantastic in both pictures. I'm sorry you went through such a rough time and I hope you can get back to where you feel good about yourself.

    That said, nobody can MAKE you feel anything. As your doctor, she would actually be remiss if she did not mention this change in your health since she last saw you. Her wording was thoughtless, because anyone with half a brain would know that it would be triggering for you, but if she hasn't seen you for two years, it isn't that surprising that she would forget, and it was mostly a statement of fact (except for "a lot", which is a judgement). How you feel about it is really up to you.

    And I don't think you need to feel bad about it. You DID gain weight. And there are reasons. And it wasn't bad. It just ... was. It really is ok. If you want to lose the weight, go for it. If you don't, don't. Either way, be happy. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond, and it sounds like you are doing great.

    Good advise above...we are in total control of what we think and feel..others don't control that. You look amazing and healthy in both pics. If you feel the need to take off a few pounds know that is your decision and do it in a healthy way. Do not let someone's (medical professional or not) opinion or careless remarks trigger a negative cycle for you. YOU GOT THIS!
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    It looks to me that, some of the extra weight's muscle which's a; good weight gain!
  • LZMiner
    LZMiner Posts: 300 Member
    I think you look fabulous in both! Hang in there....chalk it up to her feeling like family...you're beautiful!
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    I would be shocked that my doc remembered what I looked like 2 years ago! I too think you look great in both pics, but the "fact" is that you did gain 15-20 lbs per your post. So there's no reason to be upset because doc noticed. However, she could have commented differently.
  • solieco1
    solieco1 Posts: 1,559 Member
    You are stunning! Do what makes you healthy - don't let this get to you if you can avoid it. :) I'm not just saying it to make you feel better - you truly look beautiful and fit!
  • Brodystar
    Brodystar Posts: 8 Member
    edited March 2017
    Jax2120 wrote: »
    ... I know I have put on weight. ...

    I was on the bus home from work. Kinda hunched over, tired etc. and a new "friend" pokes my belly roll and says "you need to hit the gym" and chuckles. I don't know this person very well, but that was kinda the kick-in-the-*kitten* that I needed. The next day I got my gym membership back and started my profile here.

    Sometimes, people just don't think before they speak or mean it differently than whats coming out. For a doctor to say it, is unsettling. Perhaps she wanted to motivate you, knowing you take pride in your physique??

    Btw, you look phenomenal both photos! Be my hero!
  • omakase619
    omakase619 Posts: 226 Member
    edited March 2017
    Jax2120 wrote: »
    So I have had a very rough year & lost major focus on my diet & workouts. I went through a divorce, ankle injury & then gained some "happy weight" in my new relationship. I know I have put on weight. But I went to my Dr yesterday & she hadn't seen me in almost 2 years & she makes this surprised face & goes "You have put on a lot of weight!" I was gutted & it made me feel awful. I have battled anorexia in the past & things like this can trigger me badly. I am determined to lose this extra 15-20 pounds & get back to where I was before. I'll post before & current pics below. I just want to look like the 2nd pic again.
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    ee0re9s3zduk.jpg

    You look amazing in both. Try not to let the word of others get you down.

    Also, I don't think your dr was saying it to be mean or anything.

  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
    You look fabulous. See this link: https://www.fitwatch.com/blog/5-surprising-facts-about-ideal-body-weight. <3
  • DietPrada
    DietPrada Posts: 1,171 Member
    My gyno - a lady doctor who used to be a man doctor - commented to me that "when you lose some weight I can recommend a good plastic surgeon to put your boobs back where they should be" all while she had her big man hand somewhere rather uncomfortable.

    Nice Dr Rose, thank you for that.
  • MonaLisaLianne
    MonaLisaLianne Posts: 398 Member
    Looking at the two photos, it seems to me that you've added a good bit of muscle to your arms and shoulders. Were you clothed when she commented? because if she saw the muscles I doubt she'd have thought you "put on a lot of weight." I can see where you might want to lose a couple of pounds. We all have our "trouble spots" that gather any little bit of fat (mine ALL goes to my waistline!) and so it's understandable to want to deal with that. Don't let the Dr. get you down - you look *very* strong and a healthy weight, to me!
  • puttputt24
    puttputt24 Posts: 30 Member
    You are in better shape than 95% of the population. Don't get down on yourself. Be proud!
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