Help settle an argument?

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13

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  • sarraheclark
    sarraheclark Posts: 125 Member
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    My husband will do the dishes when I tell him to, otherwise it doesn't really cross his mind. Like many things, he just doesn't think about it. We're working on that.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,531 Member
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    samanthaapw wrote: »
    Me and my fiance have been arguing about dishes for years. Who should do the majority of the dishes?
    The one who does all the cooking?
    Or
    The one who doesn't cook?

    Fiance?
    Live separately. Eat out on a date. Argument over. ;)
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    when you say: do the dishes

    .... you really mean: throw out the pizza box

    right?
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
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    Who does the other chores? Does one person hate doing the dishes but does all the laundry? Or hates dishes but does the vacuuming? I think it's best to divide up the chores and just stick with a set per person (person A- dishes, laundry, etc Person B- dusting, vacuuming, etc) , rather than a "I cooked tonight so you do the dishes" mind set.

    As a kid I was forced to wash or dry the dishes with my brother was a total *kitten* hat to me, so now I LOATHE hand washing dishes- particularly with another person.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    I just do stuff. I don't worry about equality because my wife just does stuff too. At any time it can be either one of us is too busy with other things and we know we have to take up the slack to cover. I know it's weird in a relationship to work together and not keep score, but this crazy setup seems to work.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,550 Member
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    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Also, it is a proven fact that women find it sexy when men do housework and take care of kids. So why do so many fight it? They let their women become exhausted doing everything around the house and then wonder why they are too tired for sex. Maybe help out and turn her on at the same time. Duh.
    Lol, OTHER women may find it sexy. My DW thinks it's just great that she doesn't have to worry about cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills, trash, out door work and helping with homework. But then again, I'm not complaining about it either.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
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    You cook or clean but shouldn't be both.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I think the real answer is who does it bother the most if the dishes pile up. If it bothered you both equally there probably wouldn't be an argument.
    There is not a universal dishwashing rule so just split up the chores however works best in your house.
  • millzy64
    millzy64 Posts: 50 Member
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I do the cooking in my home. As I cook, I also clean cooking utensils and pots and pans. After dinner the only dishes to do are what we ate off of. My wife does those.

    We've never discussed the assignment of chores. We've been together for 28 years and just developed a routine that fits our schedules. She cleans the upstairs. I clean the downstairs. I do the basic yard work. She does the gardening.

    I do upkeep to our house, but she is the one that makes it a home.


    This is us.

    Sometimes she helps me with the prep dishes as I cook, but I usually would rather be undisturbed while I'm cooking anyway so it works out. It's not a hard set rule though. Many times I wind up doing the dishes as well as the cooking, but she has a much longer commute and work day than I do so I don't mind doing both when I know she's had a long day. After almost 30 years, we've worked it out.
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
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    You should do household tasks together out of love and mutual respect. You each should be generous toward the other and not have this idea about whose responsibility it is.
  • LeGaCyGiAnT91
    LeGaCyGiAnT91 Posts: 405 Member
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    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Also, it is a proven fact that women find it sexy when men do housework and take care of kids. So why do so many fight it? They let their women become exhausted doing everything around the house and then wonder why they are too tired for sex. Maybe help out and turn her on at the same time. Duh.

    You already know how I feel!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    My husband and I always have a rule the one who cooks the other washes dishes. It has always worked for us.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Hmm, we mostly split cooking/dish-washing duty. I do loads of washing by hand (as our dishwasher is a piece of *kitten* that rarely works), but when it does, I insist that Mr. Murderpaws loads it as he is way better at Tetris-ing stuff in place than I am.

    I don't like doing dishes (and neither does he), but it's better than having a sink full of gross, nasty dishes attracting bugs. Other chores mostly fall on me except when I bug him about doing something he said he would ages ago.
  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
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    I do both # sucker
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
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    Just buy paper plates and plastic wear. Nuke everything. You two obviously cant figure it out. We are talking dishes here. This shouldn't be hard.
  • JLAJ81
    JLAJ81 Posts: 2,477 Member
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    I do most of the cooking and dishes. I rarely do laundry or clean bathrooms, fair trade I think.
  • Macy9336
    Macy9336 Posts: 694 Member
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    We tend to have whoever didn't cook do the dishes. But it's flexible. If one of us is especially tired or had a bad day, the other will do both.

    My parents did the opposite...whoever cooked did the dishes. Their philosophy was that if a person is cooking and knows they won't be on the hook for the dishes, they'll dirty as many pots, pans, utensils and dishes as possible. They took turns to cook though and so it was a matter of viewing the chore of doing a meal as inclusive of dishes rather than dishes bring a separate chore.

    So you could go either way...view dishes as part of a meal chore that includes dishes or not. If one of you does all the meals, then the other should be responsible for something equivalent like all the laundry (wash,dry,fold,put away), or all the yard work (mowing, hedge trimming, weeding, etc).

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