Husband advice, please...

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MarineArmyVeteran1978
MarineArmyVeteran1978 Posts: 69 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have a question about my wife's fitness goals. I love her and I am very attracted to her. I am very proud of her for getting back in shape. However, is it possible for a husband to be supportive and selfish at the same time? There are certain "features" that are disappearing that I am kinda missing. I don't want anyone to think I am not attracted to my wife or anything. How do I approach her and tell her to maybe slow down while still being supportive and proud of her? Thanks
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  • BedsideTableKangaroo
    BedsideTableKangaroo Posts: 736 Member
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    that was easy
  • MarineArmyVeteran1978
    MarineArmyVeteran1978 Posts: 69 Member
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    Thank you, never did I think it was my right to tell her how her body should be. Appreciate the feedback.
  • MarineArmyVeteran1978
    MarineArmyVeteran1978 Posts: 69 Member
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    happilymegan wrote: »
    RayReed15 wrote: »
    Thank you, never did I think it was my right to tell her how her body should be. Appreciate the feedback.

    By telling her to slow down you are in some regard trying to control what she does with her body. At the end of the day it's hers and she needs to work for a body she is happy with.

    Didn't think of this way. Thanks!
  • MarineArmyVeteran1978
    MarineArmyVeteran1978 Posts: 69 Member
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    pinuplove wrote: »
    In all seriousness, chances are she's noticed and probably isn't thrilled either but we don't get to choose where we lose. My husband (a generally thoughtful man who adores me and is very supportive) asked me a similar question once. I was not impressed and let him know. Hopefully we've just saved your wife the trouble :wink:

    Well, please tell your husband thank you for me. I appreciate your feedback.
  • MarineArmyVeteran1978
    MarineArmyVeteran1978 Posts: 69 Member
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    4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »
    Unfortunately, you can't control which features disappear and in what order. So, if is is just an "I don't want to see a specific feature go", then I don't think it is worth bringing up as most likely you will just make her feel insecure about something she can't control anyways. However, since you did say you want her to slow down, if you feel that she is doing anything unhealthy I definitely think spouses should bring up that.

    I definitely don't want to hurt her feelings in any way. Nothing unhealthy about her fitness, just me being selfish. I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    As a woman, I think it's fine and even good for you to tell her you like the way she looks now, but beyond that you just have to be supportive of her goals. Unless they're unhealthy, then yes, it's fine to say something.

    Pretty solid advice here.
  • MarineArmyVeteran1978
    MarineArmyVeteran1978 Posts: 69 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    As a woman, I think it's fine and even good for you to tell her you like the way she looks now, but beyond that you just have to be supportive of her goals. Unless they're unhealthy, then yes, it's fine to say something.

    Pretty solid advice here.

    Agree, thanks for the feedback.
  • raindawg
    raindawg Posts: 348 Member
    edited March 2017
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    In the spirit of TMI I'll share my experience. But then again maybe guys perceptions are different. When I put on weight it goes on my backside as well as other places. My wife says she really liked my bubble butt and misses it as it went away as my weight drops. I in no way took that as she'd prefer I stay fat and unhealthy but more of stating a fact of how my body changes with weight loss.

    I think it's ok to mention what you liked and notice what's changing. As long as you're not suggesting she stop pursuing her weight loss goals. It's definitely a balancing act with this one though.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
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    For me, I'm ultimately love who she is, not what she is. Not saying the what doesn't help, but everything changes*.


    *Except for war. War never changes. --Bethesda :)

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