Husband advice, please...
Replies
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I'd tell her if her tit's get any smaller then I want a divorce. I married a woman with big tits and that's what I want.
In case you didn't understand my above comment, I was being sarcastic or ironic, whichever. Stop thinking with your *kitten*. Your lady rocks. No offence was meant by my post. wishing you guys many many happy years together :-)2 -
She doesn't make that *kitten* clap like she used to does she?0
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Unless she's unlike most of us, there is no way he can word that that will not hurt her feelings, at least a little bit IMO.
A hundred times yes! As a happily married man for over 21 years, I have learned the hard way that there are some topics that simply cannot be broached, no matter how good the intent. Discretion being the better part of valor, some things are just better left unsaid.
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Health reasons set aside... I've taught my hubby to tell me what he wants, after all he is the ONLY one I'm trying to look good for. I guess it depends on how you look at it and what kind of woman you're dealing with.9
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Say " I love you. I want you to be healthy and happy with your body."3
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You seem like a good husband..so as others have already said just being supportive is all you can do! You might find you love her shape even more since it's HER you ultimately love.0
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Health reasons set aside... I've taught my hubby to tell me what he wants, after all he is the ONLY one I'm trying to look good for. I guess it depends on how you look at it and what kind of woman you're dealing with.
To each their own. If my husband ever told me," Lulu I like big breasts and would like yours to be bigger...they have gotten smaller since you've lost weight...." Well, honestly I wouldn't have anything nice to reply to him. He should be attracted to the person that is ME...not the vessel which contains me.
I get that, not trying to piss anyone off here, just saying when it comes to JUST looks, a woman's husband's opinion should matter.7 -
I guess it really boils down to why you don't want her to lose some of her size. Is it truly that you like what she looks like now or that you are afraid that if she gets into shape that other men will begin to notice? Not sure if that is the case, but if it is, support your wife openly and honestly and she will know you are there and it won't matter if other guys are looking. Not trying to be disrespectful to you. Like I said, I don't know if that is the case, but I do know my friend had the same concern when his wife started going to the gym often. He actually did voice almost the same opinion and it was out of lack of confidence. Just know she probably wants to work out for herself AND for you. Hope all goes well and best wishes, but just be supportive of her.0
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Offer to pay for the boobjob. Done.5
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Just love her. I am going through big weight loss now and see every part of my body as disgusting. I watched the show "skin tight" last night and was traumatized and had anxiety even though I know that is exactly the direction I'm going.
If hubby said anything (married for 20 years) I would be forever hurt. It takes every bit of me to be working as hard as I can to get healthy for myself and family and I would find that a huge hurdle and I can't take many more of those.
Love her, love her every second just the way she is. Chances are she needs support more than anything, as would you4 -
In the spirit of TMI I'll share my experience. But then again maybe guys perceptions are different. When I put on weight it goes on my backside as well as other places. My wife says she really liked my bubble butt and misses it as it went away as my weight drops. I in no way took that as she'd prefer I stay fat and unhealthy but more of stating a fact of how my body changes with weight loss.
I think it's ok to mention what you liked and notice what's changing. As long as you're not suggesting she stop pursuing her weight loss goals. It's definitely a balancing act with this one though.
That's because you are a guy and most likely respond to things differently than most women would2 -
I have a question about my wife's fitness goals. I love her and I am very attracted to her. I am very proud of her for getting back in shape. However, is it possible for a husband to be supportive and selfish at the same time? There are certain "features" that are disappearing that I am kinda missing. I don't want anyone to think I am not attracted to my wife or anything. How do I approach her and tell her to maybe slow down while still being supportive and proud of her? Thanks
You are not alone brother...
My wife has lost a lot of weight and I'm starting to notice the same...
However having a massive weight loss story myself, I would never discourage her from getting after it... Unless of course she starts to make herself sick...
Just got to learn how to appreciate the new her and I'm digging it...
She's a Babe, a Scorpio and a Rooster (grief) but 17yrs and she still puts up with this Gemini Dog...2 -
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Thanks to all who responded. I do love my wife and will always love her for her, not her body. She is a great person, wife, and mother. I would never forget that. I am proud of her. I was, in fact maybe just being a little selfish. Again, I thank you all for your comments.4
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Another poster said chances are that she is noticing the changes as well. These changes are hard for all people to go through--it's like aging--all of a sudden parts are longer or flatter or have hangy skin. Love should be unconditional, and noone can control how they lose weight. First and foremost your wife needs reassurance and love and support.
However, if you are a weight lifter and your wife has never lifted, AND you have great communication without blaming or anger, you could ask her if she wants to learn to lift. Dead-lift is a great butt builder, and chest press can build the pectoral muscle behind the breast to make them look larger (or perkier). There are ways to work around body changes without making someone feel less than what they are or shaming them.0 -
I agree with everyone else, don't tell her. About 4 years ago I was on MFP and had tremendous success, I went from 180 pounds to 136 and felt amazing. Then my family started to tell me I was losing too much, I looked sick etc I overlooked all of them and their comments until my husband said that he missed this or that and that I had lost too much. It broke me. Here I am, again, Now 205 pounds. I feel terrible and don't even know how to get started again. Be supportive of her, help her and always tell her how proud you are of her hard work. Spouses have no clue how much their support and respect means when trying to make these types of changes.1
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I agree with everyone else, don't tell her. About 4 years ago I was on MFP and had tremendous success, I went from 180 pounds to 136 and felt amazing. Then my family started to tell me I was losing too much, I looked sick etc I overlooked all of them and their comments until my husband said that he missed this or that and that I had lost too much. It broke me. Here I am, again, Now 205 pounds. I feel terrible and don't even know how to get started again. Be supportive of her, help her and always tell her how proud you are of her hard work. Spouses have no clue how much their support and respect means when trying to make these types of changes.
I'm sorry to hear this, it's terrible. You'll find your path again and get to where you want to be. Never listen to what someone else wants you to be.1 -
I think all of the responses here are on target and I agree 100%.
Having said that, I can't help but wonder what the reaction would be if it were the wife asking about her husband?0 -
My reaction would be the same. Why wouldn't it be? Be positive, be sensitive, be encouraging. That's basic human decency. But in all honesty...what would a man lose that a wife would miss? Love handles? Moobs?1
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His butt, my butt got smaller. People used to love my big butt. No one ever notices anymore. My pants fall off all the time. People point, laugh and whisper. My poor lost bum. I miss old bummy.6
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