For those of you who aren't SUPER FIT-yep they are judging us.
LiveLoveFitFab
Posts: 302 Member
So I haven't been serious about this whole workout thing much in the last year, and I've put on about 20lbs. So I look like I'm not fit anymore. I have been lifting for about 17 years though. It's probably why I am so mad right now.
Today I took my kid, who is 14, to the gym. She wanted to do squats, so we went and found a squat rack and I set her up with a bar. She did her squats and then I loaded the bar with some weights (the 14 year old doesn't use any weights yet, just the bar because she's young and she's learning, but we don't want to stress her growing joints too much)
Anyways, I stood in front of the bar and went to do my set, but holy moly - the bar was too high. I stood there in a daze for a second. The last time we went to the gym this wasn't an issue. Someone is obviously taller than me!!! Yikes!
So I stand there a second and process that I am now the shortest member of my family, and that I'm now going to have to unload the bar and fix this situation. That's when this girl, who was maybe 20, who was squatting in the next rack comes over and tells me, I need to lower the rack in a really rude condescending voice. No really? I told her I'm good, I've been squatting over a decade, but that my kid is taller than me for the first time...I then jokingly tell her - the nice thing about doing squats your whole life is that at forty you can still have a great booty, so keep it up girl! She gave me a dirty look and wandered back to her bar. My point was, I'm old enough to be your mother...
Anyways, I did my squats, my kid did her squats and we left for the cardio section because I honestly wasn't feeling well at all to begin with.
This other guy, super muscle bound, bald, shiny (you know the type) was walking around slamming things the whole time I was squatting with my kid. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. He asked me in a pretty rude manner if I was done. I told him it was all his.
I forgot something, so I came back only to find that these two weren't squatting. Instead they were having a chat about how stupid I was. About how newbies should listen or stay in the other sections. I stopped them and told them it wasn't nice to talk about other people and they should just do their own thing and not worry about me. The guy literally got in my face and screamed at me that they were just trying to keep me from hurting myself.
It wasn't until later that I realized that this guy was pissed off at me from the very beginning, just because I was using the rack and I wasn't fit enough I guess. That's why he was slamming things and acting like a general douche while I did my lifts.
As it stands I plan to have a word with the management. I'm never ever bringing my kids in there again. My other child is autistic and loves to lift with mom, but something like that would have scared the crap out of him.
I literally joined that gym because the other one didn't have a squat rack. I only get to use it on Saturdays because usually the gym is so full of really big muscle bound guys that I don't get a chance. They won't let me, I've tried asking. Booked solid. Now I have to deal with this.
I always thought, no one is judging you because you aren't super fit. But I was always super fit looking at the gym. Now this shows me I was wrong. Just because I'm silently cheering on people who are new or who are looking to get back into things, doesn't mean anything. I'm the exception, not the rule.
They are judging me. And I only have 20lbs to lose. This gym is only for super fit people, unless I want to stay in the machine section. I need to leave their squat rack alone I guess. Every time someone overweight has told me they didn't want to go to the gym for people judging them, I didn't believe them. Now I see it. I'm so sad right now.
Today I took my kid, who is 14, to the gym. She wanted to do squats, so we went and found a squat rack and I set her up with a bar. She did her squats and then I loaded the bar with some weights (the 14 year old doesn't use any weights yet, just the bar because she's young and she's learning, but we don't want to stress her growing joints too much)
Anyways, I stood in front of the bar and went to do my set, but holy moly - the bar was too high. I stood there in a daze for a second. The last time we went to the gym this wasn't an issue. Someone is obviously taller than me!!! Yikes!
So I stand there a second and process that I am now the shortest member of my family, and that I'm now going to have to unload the bar and fix this situation. That's when this girl, who was maybe 20, who was squatting in the next rack comes over and tells me, I need to lower the rack in a really rude condescending voice. No really? I told her I'm good, I've been squatting over a decade, but that my kid is taller than me for the first time...I then jokingly tell her - the nice thing about doing squats your whole life is that at forty you can still have a great booty, so keep it up girl! She gave me a dirty look and wandered back to her bar. My point was, I'm old enough to be your mother...
Anyways, I did my squats, my kid did her squats and we left for the cardio section because I honestly wasn't feeling well at all to begin with.
This other guy, super muscle bound, bald, shiny (you know the type) was walking around slamming things the whole time I was squatting with my kid. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. He asked me in a pretty rude manner if I was done. I told him it was all his.
I forgot something, so I came back only to find that these two weren't squatting. Instead they were having a chat about how stupid I was. About how newbies should listen or stay in the other sections. I stopped them and told them it wasn't nice to talk about other people and they should just do their own thing and not worry about me. The guy literally got in my face and screamed at me that they were just trying to keep me from hurting myself.
It wasn't until later that I realized that this guy was pissed off at me from the very beginning, just because I was using the rack and I wasn't fit enough I guess. That's why he was slamming things and acting like a general douche while I did my lifts.
As it stands I plan to have a word with the management. I'm never ever bringing my kids in there again. My other child is autistic and loves to lift with mom, but something like that would have scared the crap out of him.
I literally joined that gym because the other one didn't have a squat rack. I only get to use it on Saturdays because usually the gym is so full of really big muscle bound guys that I don't get a chance. They won't let me, I've tried asking. Booked solid. Now I have to deal with this.
I always thought, no one is judging you because you aren't super fit. But I was always super fit looking at the gym. Now this shows me I was wrong. Just because I'm silently cheering on people who are new or who are looking to get back into things, doesn't mean anything. I'm the exception, not the rule.
They are judging me. And I only have 20lbs to lose. This gym is only for super fit people, unless I want to stay in the machine section. I need to leave their squat rack alone I guess. Every time someone overweight has told me they didn't want to go to the gym for people judging them, I didn't believe them. Now I see it. I'm so sad right now.
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Replies
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Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!32
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That is too sad. I hope you can find a better place to work out. We go to the YMCA because they are always super supportive and there are many people our age who are no more fit than we are.
Best wishes to you (hugs) and (bravos) for working out.8 -
Ouch. Sounds like you just ran into some ugly people at the gym.
I honestly don't worry about other people at the gym. I look at it as, no matter how fit or unfit you may appear, we are all there to improve our health.
(As for the guy....roid rage comes to mind)24 -
I don't doubt your veracity but aren't you over reacting against the gym, because of one experience?
I wouldn't abandon a convenient and capable gym because of one encounter with some lugs.14 -
Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!
I'm glad your amused. I'm actually considering never going back ever again. I go to workout, not be badgered by teenagers and yelled at by men who are 300lbs of solid muscle because it took me a second to figure out why the bar was too high. I however am not amused. I'm actually really sad. I just want to workout and be left alone.20 -
I see nothing funny about it at all. If I had that type of incident when we decided to join the YMCA, I would have reported it to the manager. Bullying is bullying no matter what the age or place and is not acceptable.25
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That's kind of scary. I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you find a way to overcome. Thugs shouldn't win. You shouldn't have to not work out because of a rotten person.6
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What a pair of Dicks!
I just wanted to ask about your kids age. Here, our gym wont accept anyone under 18 years old, is it different in America?4 -
Sorry you experienced that, none of the gym's I PT at nor the gym I train at myself would put up with that kind of behaviour. It's more than enough to merit a warning from management and ultimately it drags down the overall impression that people have of the gym in question, meaning that it's highly likely that if caught again after a warning then they would have their membership revoked.
Ultimately, I understand why you might think the things you do regarding people that train a lot but - we aren't all like that. Myself and MANY others here would rather encourage people to enjoy the gym.
It's refreshing seeing people either getting into or getting back into training!
All the best and don't let it put you off for good!18 -
Our gym admits anyone 14 or older. I had to prove my daughter's age with a birth certificate before they'd admit her, though.Christine_72 wrote: »What a pair of Dicks!
I just wanted to ask about your kids age. Here, our gym wont accept anyone under 18 years old, is it different in America?
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Oh and if you decide to go again, you should wear this t-shirt:
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Christine_72 wrote: »What a pair of Dicks!
I just wanted to ask about your kids age. Here, our gym wont accept anyone under 18 years old, is it different in America?
My Y has special training for kids I think 13 and up to teach them to use the equipment properly.1 -
Is this the gym you posted about a few weeks ago? The one where you felt self conscious about being weaker than others and where you were irked by others not putting their stuff away? It sounds like you just need to go elsewhere. It's not a good fit.14
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What a bunch of jerks, you keep doing you; forget them.
I still imagine people are more likely to be silently cheering others on, not being unmitigated douche bags.2 -
Christine_72 wrote: »Oh and if you decide to go again, you should wear this t-shirt:
Yes! Where can I order this?
And yes, children can attend. I'm not sure what the age limit is, but a lot of the area sports teams do their training there.
And yes, it's a horrible fit for me, but I can't afford another membership and the other gym in town is a Planet Fitness, which is an even more horrible fit. I've really been working hard on making sure I get in there when the place is almost empty and I have modified my workouts so I don't have to deadlift until I can lift the bar with some proper weights on it.
I know that I shouldn't have taken so much time off and gotten so out of shape, that is my fault totally. But now I'm not just afraid that I will screw something up and make myself look bad, I'm afraid that if I do I will be treated the exact same way I was today.
To further complicate my head space, I was almost killed by a big muscular roid rager guy who was bald about 12 years ago when I didn't agree with him so he threw me into a wall five or six times. So I was legitimately frightened and it gave me flash backs to something I thought I was over completely.
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I'm not sure where to buy them. You may need to Google.0
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Christine_72 wrote: »I'm not sure where to buy them. You may need to Google.
I'm guessing, maybe just a general T-shirt printing shop? I think most towns/cities in most countries have them and I think most will do pretty much any wording you want.. right?
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AdamAthletic wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »I'm not sure where to buy them. You may need to Google.
I'm guessing, maybe just a general T-shirt printing shop? I think most towns/cities in most countries have them and I think most will do pretty much any wording you want.. right?
Yes true.
OP you can make the wording bright Red
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At the end of the day, if you leave that gym and never go back, he wins. He gets what he wants. Some people forget how they got to where they were. If people want to judge me, that's fine. They can talk about it as much as they want, heck they can even laugh. Somewhere along the line, we need to remember, "sticks and stones." People are idiots, people can be mean. We need to control the only thing we can. That is how we react. In my opinion, get your butt back in there and keep moving forward. If we stop every time we "feel bad," or someone makes us feel unwelcome. Then the a**holes win. Keep being awesome. Laugh it off. Picture them being made fun of at home. And keep being awesome.20
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...And if that's a current pic of you in your profile OP, you look super fit to me!5
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wrt to your thread title: i disagree that 'they' are judging 'us'. you personally had a specific bad experience in what sounds specifically like a bad place. but as a fellow non-super-fit'er, i don't like the feeling of getting dragged by association into some global us-and-them war on the basis of that.
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Kids in my gym (and a lot of other's I've worked at) are allowed with a parent from 12-15 years old. At 16 they can work out, but have to have a parent sign off on a waiver.Christine_72 wrote: »What a pair of Dicks!
I just wanted to ask about your kids age. Here, our gym wont accept anyone under 18 years old, is it different in America?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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OP, I've worked in several gyms in my profession. It sounds like you just got a bad dose of some bad people. The majority of people in gyms don't judge people the way you may think. In fact the majority of people don't give a damn about what other people are doing. Now there will be some that are impatient or disgruntled that they have to wait for people. And unfortunately you cannot change that in their character. People who are self centered aren't judging, they are just trying to get you out of their way.LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »So I haven't been serious about this whole workout thing much in the last year, and I've put on about 20lbs. So I look like I'm not fit anymore. I have been lifting for about 17 years though. It's probably why I am so mad right now.
Today I took my kid, who is 14, to the gym. She wanted to do squats, so we went and found a squat rack and I set her up with a bar. She did her squats and then I loaded the bar with some weights (the 14 year old doesn't use any weights yet, just the bar because she's young and she's learning, but we don't want to stress her growing joints too much)
Anyways, I stood in front of the bar and went to do my set, but holy moly - the bar was too high. I stood there in a daze for a second. The last time we went to the gym this wasn't an issue. Someone is obviously taller than me!!! Yikes!
So I stand there a second and process that I am now the shortest member of my family, and that I'm now going to have to unload the bar and fix this situation. That's when this girl, who was maybe 20, who was squatting in the next rack comes over and tells me, I need to lower the rack in a really rude condescending voice. No really? I told her I'm good, I've been squatting over a decade, but that my kid is taller than me for the first time...I then jokingly tell her - the nice thing about doing squats your whole life is that at forty you can still have a great booty, so keep it up girl! She gave me a dirty look and wandered back to her bar. My point was, I'm old enough to be your mother...
Anyways, I did my squats, my kid did her squats and we left for the cardio section because I honestly wasn't feeling well at all to begin with.
This other guy, super muscle bound, bald, shiny (you know the type) was walking around slamming things the whole time I was squatting with my kid. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. He asked me in a pretty rude manner if I was done. I told him it was all his.
I forgot something, so I came back only to find that these two weren't squatting. Instead they were having a chat about how stupid I was. About how newbies should listen or stay in the other sections. I stopped them and told them it wasn't nice to talk about other people and they should just do their own thing and not worry about me. The guy literally got in my face and screamed at me that they were just trying to keep me from hurting myself.
It wasn't until later that I realized that this guy was pissed off at me from the very beginning, just because I was using the rack and I wasn't fit enough I guess. That's why he was slamming things and acting like a general douche while I did my lifts.
As it stands I plan to have a word with the management. I'm never ever bringing my kids in there again. My other child is autistic and loves to lift with mom, but something like that would have scared the crap out of him.
I literally joined that gym because the other one didn't have a squat rack. I only get to use it on Saturdays because usually the gym is so full of really big muscle bound guys that I don't get a chance. They won't let me, I've tried asking. Booked solid. Now I have to deal with this.
I always thought, no one is judging you because you aren't super fit. But I was always super fit looking at the gym. Now this shows me I was wrong. Just because I'm silently cheering on people who are new or who are looking to get back into things, doesn't mean anything. I'm the exception, not the rule.
They are judging me. And I only have 20lbs to lose. This gym is only for super fit people, unless I want to stay in the machine section. I need to leave their squat rack alone I guess. Every time someone overweight has told me they didn't want to go to the gym for people judging them, I didn't believe them. Now I see it. I'm so sad right now.
If you were super fit, got under the bar and had the same thing happen and got the same responses (and I've seen it happen), you'd likely think differently. There was even a thread on this a few days back.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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So sorry you had such a terrible experience. I have been lucky. I started lifting at the age of 51, well more than 20# overweight, and at first was just left alone, but now the regulars know I am serious, get nothing but consideration and kindness (and some teasing) from the other regulars. the guys know I take the sport seriously, but I don't take myself too seriously, which I think makes me fit in with even the young ones. I hope that it was an isolated incident, and your experiences improve.3
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needing to lose 20 lbs has nothing to do with being fit or knowing what you are doing. I walk into the gym like a big brick house, with confidence and anyone can judge me all they want, i dont care. Some people might think i have lots of weight to lose, but i think i'm just fine and could care less what anyone thinks or says about me. If you know what you are doing, and even if you dont, just go into the gym and do it.12
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Christine_72 wrote: »...And if that's a current pic of you in your profile OP, you look super fit to me!
That's what I look like UNDER the 20lbs of chub. Lol. That was two years ago. But thanks. I keep that pic handy, because my goal body, is my body, only 2 years ago.6 -
I think those two would have been judging you no matter what you looked like. They sound like azzclowns who think they own the joint.
I think there are people who judge, and people who don't. The judgy ones will judge you regardless of whether you're fat, thin, short, tall, strong, weak, new, regular, wear makeup, don't, tight clothes or not. It really sucks that these ones are so vocal and rude, I'd totally talk to management.11 -
FindingAwesome wrote: »I think those two would have been judging you no matter what you looked like. They sound like azzclowns who think they own the joint.
I think there are people who judge, and people who don't. The judgy ones will judge you regardless of whether you're fat, thin, short, tall, strong, weak, new, regular, wear makeup, don't, tight clothes or not. It really sucks that these ones are so vocal and rude, I'd totally talk to management.
I agree with this post. I recently started working out at a gym, after lifting in my basement for the last 3 years. I am way heavier than you, and every time I have gone to the gym I have had a pleasant experience. I've had some strange looks, some nods of the head, and several people come up and ask for advice on form, or to spot them. Apparently, in this gym you don't have to be lean to look like you know what your doing. I would shake it off as best as you can. I'm sorry it brought up those old memories. That's tough.
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LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!
I'm glad your amused. I'm actually considering never going back ever again. I go to workout, not be badgered by teenagers and yelled at by men who are 300lbs of solid muscle because it took me a second to figure out why the bar was too high. I however am not amused. I'm actually really sad. I just want to workout and be left alone.
I don't see where you were 'badgered'? She made 1 comment about the bar being too high...
The other guy was rude, unfortunately people are twats, but dont let your insecurities about not looking fit enough affect you going to the gym.6 -
TavistockToad wrote: »LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!
I'm glad your amused. I'm actually considering never going back ever again. I go to workout, not be badgered by teenagers and yelled at by men who are 300lbs of solid muscle because it took me a second to figure out why the bar was too high. I however am not amused. I'm actually really sad. I just want to workout and be left alone.
I don't see where you were 'badgered'? She made 1 comment about the bar being too high...
The other guy was rude, unfortunately people are twats, but dont let your insecurities about not looking fit enough affect you going to the gym.
Perhaps the part when I left, and these two stood around and talked about how stupid I was and all that jazz. Perhaps the part where I heard them, clear as day from several meters away, so obviously everyone else heard them. The part where the "roid rager yelled at me that they were just trying to keep me safe. Safe from what? From being the shortest member of my family ? (except the dog lol)
The funny thing is, when I looked like the girl in the picture on my profile, no one said *kitten* to me. Ever.
Perhaps the fact that a girl who I am old enough to be a mother to, spoke to me like I was a moron because I couldn't figure out for about 30 seconds why the darn bar was so much higher than four weeks ago when we did squats together.
Honestly, unless someone is about to murder themselves with a bench press that is twice their weight with no spotter, I don't think anyone should say anything to anyone at the gym.
Should I walk around and tell people doing planks to put their bum down further? Should I tell the young boys who are curling more weight than they can handle that their form would be better if they curled a proper amount?
The answer is no. Unless someone is about to die, leave them be.5
This discussion has been closed.
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