For those of you who aren't SUPER FIT-yep they are judging us.

canadianlbs · March 2017

wrt to your thread title: i disagree that 'they' are judging 'us'. you personally had a specific bad experience in what sounds specifically like a bad place. but as a fellow non-super-fit'er, i don't like the feeling of getting dragged by association into some global us-and-them war on the basis of that.

ninerbuff · March 2017

Christine_72 wrote: »

What a pair of Dicks!

I just wanted to ask about your kids age. Here, our gym wont accept anyone under 18 years old, is it different in America?

Kids in my gym (and a lot of other's I've worked at) are allowed with a parent from 12-15 years old. At 16 they can work out, but have to have a parent sign off on a waiver.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff · March 2017

LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »

So I haven't been serious about this whole workout thing much in the last year, and I've put on about 20lbs. So I look like I'm not fit anymore. I have been lifting for about 17 years though. It's probably why I am so mad right now.

Today I took my kid, who is 14, to the gym. She wanted to do squats, so we went and found a squat rack and I set her up with a bar. She did her squats and then I loaded the bar with some weights (the 14 year old doesn't use any weights yet, just the bar because she's young and she's learning, but we don't want to stress her growing joints too much)

Anyways, I stood in front of the bar and went to do my set, but holy moly - the bar was too high. I stood there in a daze for a second. The last time we went to the gym this wasn't an issue. Someone is obviously taller than me!!! Yikes!

So I stand there a second and process that I am now the shortest member of my family, and that I'm now going to have to unload the bar and fix this situation. That's when this girl, who was maybe 20, who was squatting in the next rack comes over and tells me, I need to lower the rack in a really rude condescending voice. No really? I told her I'm good, I've been squatting over a decade, but that my kid is taller than me for the first time...I then jokingly tell her - the nice thing about doing squats your whole life is that at forty you can still have a great booty, so keep it up girl! She gave me a dirty look and wandered back to her bar. My point was, I'm old enough to be your mother...

Anyways, I did my squats, my kid did her squats and we left for the cardio section because I honestly wasn't feeling well at all to begin with.

This other guy, super muscle bound, bald, shiny (you know the type) was walking around slamming things the whole time I was squatting with my kid. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. He asked me in a pretty rude manner if I was done. I told him it was all his.

I forgot something, so I came back only to find that these two weren't squatting. Instead they were having a chat about how stupid I was. About how newbies should listen or stay in the other sections. I stopped them and told them it wasn't nice to talk about other people and they should just do their own thing and not worry about me. The guy literally got in my face and screamed at me that they were just trying to keep me from hurting myself.

It wasn't until later that I realized that this guy was pissed off at me from the very beginning, just because I was using the rack and I wasn't fit enough I guess. That's why he was slamming things and acting like a general douche while I did my lifts.

As it stands I plan to have a word with the management. I'm never ever bringing my kids in there again. My other child is autistic and loves to lift with mom, but something like that would have scared the crap out of him.

I literally joined that gym because the other one didn't have a squat rack. I only get to use it on Saturdays because usually the gym is so full of really big muscle bound guys that I don't get a chance. They won't let me, I've tried asking. Booked solid. Now I have to deal with this.

I always thought, no one is judging you because you aren't super fit. But I was always super fit looking at the gym. Now this shows me I was wrong. Just because I'm silently cheering on people who are new or who are looking to get back into things, doesn't mean anything. I'm the exception, not the rule.

They are judging me. And I only have 20lbs to lose. This gym is only for super fit people, unless I want to stay in the machine section. I need to leave their squat rack alone I guess. Every time someone overweight has told me they didn't want to go to the gym for people judging them, I didn't believe them. Now I see it. I'm so sad right now.

OP, I've worked in several gyms in my profession. It sounds like you just got a bad dose of some bad people. The majority of people in gyms don't judge people the way you may think. In fact the majority of people don't give a damn about what other people are doing. Now there will be some that are impatient or disgruntled that they have to wait for people. And unfortunately you cannot change that in their character. People who are self centered aren't judging, they are just trying to get you out of their way.
If you were super fit, got under the bar and had the same thing happen and got the same responses (and I've seen it happen), you'd likely think differently. There was even a thread on this a few days back.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Barbonica · March 2017

So sorry you had such a terrible experience. I have been lucky. I started lifting at the age of 51, well more than 20# overweight, and at first was just left alone, but now the regulars know I am serious, get nothing but consideration and kindness (and some teasing) from the other regulars. the guys know I take the sport seriously, but I don't take myself too seriously, which I think makes me fit in with even the young ones. I hope that it was an isolated incident, and your experiences improve.

SonyaCele · March 2017

needing to lose 20 lbs has nothing to do with being fit or knowing what you are doing. I walk into the gym like a big brick house, with confidence and anyone can judge me all they want, i dont care. Some people might think i have lots of weight to lose, but i think i'm just fine and could care less what anyone thinks or says about me. If you know what you are doing, and even if you dont, just go into the gym and do it.

LiveLoveFitFab · March 2017

Christine_72 wrote: »

...And if that's a current pic of you in your profile OP, you look super fit to me!

That's what I look like UNDER the 20lbs of chub. Lol. That was two years ago. But thanks. I keep that pic handy, because my goal body, is my body, only 2 years ago.

FindingAwesome · March 2017

I think those two would have been judging you no matter what you looked like. They sound like azzclowns who think they own the joint.

I think there are people who judge, and people who don't. The judgy ones will judge you regardless of whether you're fat, thin, short, tall, strong, weak, new, regular, wear makeup, don't, tight clothes or not. It really sucks that these ones are so vocal and rude, I'd totally talk to management.

mamasmaltz3 · March 2017

FindingAwesome wrote: »

I think those two would have been judging you no matter what you looked like. They sound like azzclowns who think they own the joint.

I think there are people who judge, and people who don't. The judgy ones will judge you regardless of whether you're fat, thin, short, tall, strong, weak, new, regular, wear makeup, don't, tight clothes or not. It really sucks that these ones are so vocal and rude, I'd totally talk to management.

I agree with this post. I recently started working out at a gym, after lifting in my basement for the last 3 years. I am way heavier than you, and every time I have gone to the gym I have had a pleasant experience. I've had some strange looks, some nods of the head, and several people come up and ask for advice on form, or to spot them. Apparently, in this gym you don't have to be lean to look like you know what your doing. I would shake it off as best as you can. I'm sorry it brought up those old memories. That's tough.

TavistockToad · March 2017

LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »

lorrpb wrote: »

Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!

I'm glad your amused. I'm actually considering never going back ever again. I go to workout, not be badgered by teenagers and yelled at by men who are 300lbs of solid muscle because it took me a second to figure out why the bar was too high. I however am not amused. I'm actually really sad. I just want to workout and be left alone.

I don't see where you were 'badgered'? She made 1 comment about the bar being too high...

The other guy was rude, unfortunately people are twats, but dont let your insecurities about not looking fit enough affect you going to the gym.

LiveLoveFitFab · March 2017

TavistockToad wrote: »

LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »

lorrpb wrote: »

Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!

I'm glad your amused. I'm actually considering never going back ever again. I go to workout, not be badgered by teenagers and yelled at by men who are 300lbs of solid muscle because it took me a second to figure out why the bar was too high. I however am not amused. I'm actually really sad. I just want to workout and be left alone.

I don't see where you were 'badgered'? She made 1 comment about the bar being too high...

The other guy was rude, unfortunately people are twats, but dont let your insecurities about not looking fit enough affect you going to the gym.

Perhaps the part when I left, and these two stood around and talked about how stupid I was and all that jazz. Perhaps the part where I heard them, clear as day from several meters away, so obviously everyone else heard them. The part where the "roid rager yelled at me that they were just trying to keep me safe. Safe from what? From being the shortest member of my family ? (except the dog lol)

The funny thing is, when I looked like the girl in the picture on my profile, no one said *kitten* to me. Ever.

Perhaps the fact that a girl who I am old enough to be a mother to, spoke to me like I was a moron because I couldn't figure out for about 30 seconds why the darn bar was so much higher than four weeks ago when we did squats together.

Honestly, unless someone is about to murder themselves with a bench press that is twice their weight with no spotter, I don't think anyone should say anything to anyone at the gym.

Should I walk around and tell people doing planks to put their bum down further? Should I tell the young boys who are curling more weight than they can handle that their form would be better if they curled a proper amount?
The answer is no. Unless someone is about to die, leave them be.

sijomial · March 2017

Alternative viewpoint would be that you encountered two thoroughly unpleasant people and that encounter just happened to be in a gym. There are bullies in all walks of life and locations.

Your past horrible experience with violence and also feeling you aren't looking your best is magnifying it - doesn't invalidate your feelings but don't let them win by intimidating you. Rise above it for you and your daughter.

Sure we get judged and judge others, that's life, not just gym life.
Bet people look at me and think I should be playing golf or visiting a garden centre instead of using "their" gym but that's their problem to deal with, not mine.

DannyYMi54321 · March 2017

I will never be mistaken for a GQ model or one of those guys from the cover of a body building magazine. Overweight and self-conscious and weak with poor strength, poor form. I've had a lot of positive encouragement from strangers at the gym. You can encounter rude people anywhere - but the vast majority are great.

You can't be overlysensitive or overly dramatic about a bad encounter, it happens. Shake it off and move on.

mrstrod1 · March 2017

I think you are going to find judgers in any gym you go to. But you'll also find supporters in any gym too. The object (in my humble opinion) is to learn the difference and surround yourself with the positive influences while blocking out the negative influences. I mean, I'm way overweight and of course I think some people are going to be judging me - especially since I chose to join a crossfit gym where about 80% of the members seem to be under thirty. But I also think there are genuinely caring people who do not judge and offer support instead. I think of those judgers are the type of people who are negative about life in general and not people I would have as friends outside of the gym so why would I care what they do inside the gym?

The thing I always try to remind myself (and this goes for outside the gym too) is that I can only control my actions and reactions. I have no control over anyone else's. So, while I might have to deal with a hater - I don't have to respond with hate or negativity.

SonyaCele · March 2017

i really think you are way too hung up on thinking you are 20 lbs overweight or dont have a perfect "gym" body, no one cares about 20 pounds or a perfect body. So what if a couple people said something to you, can't you just ignore them? or did you snap back some comments to them to engage in their gym drama that led to this escalation? Go do your workout and dont worry about anyone. 90% of the people at any gym are overweight or not in perfect shape, and they dont seem to have problems doing their workouts.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld · March 2017

Could they not have just being trying to help at first?

Playing devils advocate they seemed to be concerned about you.

_Bro · March 2017

AnvilHead · March 2017

sijomial wrote: »

Sure we get judged and judge others, that's life, not just gym life.
Bet people look at me and think I should be playing golf or visiting a garden centre instead of using "their" gym but that's their problem to deal with, not mine.

I'll bet people look at me playing golf and think I should be playing checkers instead.

I guess I've just been lucky. I've belonged to over 20 gyms (and been a guest at a few more) over the last 35 years or so, and have never once run into even one of the douches described in some of these gym threads. I look nothing like a bodybuilder and have been everything from a skinny, scrawny teenager to a fat, out of shape middle-aged guy, nobody has ever made fun of me or said one word out of line. Could they have been thinking it? Maybe, I dunno - I can't read people's minds and don't really care what they think. It's my gym as much as it is theirs.

lorrpb · March 2017

....i said the nice thing about doing squats your whole life is that at forty you can still have a great booty, so keep it up girl! She gave me a dirty look and wandered back to her bar. My point was, I'm old enough to be your mother... I stopped them and told them it wasn't nice to talk about other people and they should just do their own thing and not worry about me.

Next time, just don't talk to them. Problem solved.

cerise_noir · March 2017

LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »

lorrpb wrote: »

Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!

I'm glad your amused. I'm actually considering never going back ever again. I go to workout, not be badgered by teenagers and yelled at by men who are 300lbs of solid muscle because it took me a second to figure out why the bar was too high. I however am not amused. I'm actually really sad. I just want to workout and be left alone.

Report his *kitten*. Seriously. A doucheface shouldn't stop you from going to the gym. You have every right to be there. I would keep going after reporting him and SMILE at him every time he leers at you, or acts like a douche. He will get kicked out for being a douche. If he is still banging stuff around, go to staff and report him on the spot. Why take someone's crap like that? Do something about it. Don't let him get away with it. It's not HIS gym.

For those of you who aren't SUPER FIT-yep they are judging us.

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