When you live with people who never gain weight and eat all the stuff you cannot touch.

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rouhnaz
rouhnaz Posts: 62 Member
edited March 2017 in Health and Weight Loss
Hello.
I'm just stressed a tad here. I live with my boyfriend who cooks amazing food, orders fatty deep rich pizza from restaurants, devours as much as he pleases and can never seem to synchronize meal time with me.

It's so exhausting watching him inhale all the delicious bottomless meals all day, while I am 35lbs overweight and cannot lose for the life of me.

He never gains anything. Naturally lean and fit.

Life ain't fair, that's for d@!$ sure.

What do you do when you are trying to stay at your calorie limit every day while the person/people you live with eat everything you can't in front of you?

If nothing else, vent with me! Gah!
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Replies

  • ElizabethHanrahan
    ElizabethHanrahan Posts: 102 Member
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    I grew up this way. My dad ate 3 sandwiches, bags of chips, and dessert for lunch every day. For dinner he would eat 3 helpings of everything. He only got UP to 150 lbs(5'10") when he broke his leg and was on bed rest for 4 weeks and in a cast for 8 more. I was 150 a 12. You just have to watch what you eat and let him eat what he wants/needs. He may not be happy that he has to eat so much to stay the same weight, My Dad wasn't.
  • rouhnaz
    rouhnaz Posts: 62 Member
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    I guess this all means, I just have to deal with it and suck it up.
    Sigh
  • rouhnaz
    rouhnaz Posts: 62 Member
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    Yes, I adjusted my goal so that it's a bit higher. Still, it's hard for me to just moderate and have a thin slice of pizza or a small helping of pancakes.. especially when I can make myself a more diet-friendly alternative.
  • SusanMFindlay
    SusanMFindlay Posts: 1,804 Member
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    amymoreorless wrote: »
    TimothyFish wrote: »
    What many people don't realize about people who are "naturally lean and fit" is they are either eating less at other times or their activity level is higher than most people's.

    While this seems to make sense -- I live with someone who defies this logic. My husband can't keep weight on. He is rail thin and looses weight at the drop of a hat. He has seen many doctors and has had numerous tests. He drinks ensure plus between meals just to maintain his weight. He will even wake up at night just to down an ensure and go back to bed!

    The doctors have concluded that he just has a naturally crazy high metabolism. Part of me is bitter - I have to fight for every pound i take off. However, i watch him struggle too. It sucks at both ends of the spectrum.

    He likely fidgets all the time. Gets up to do something constantly (grab a snack, go to the bathroom, get something he forgot in the bedroom, etc.) And/or he's tall. And, yes, he's probably also a metabolic outlier on the "fast" end of the distribution.

    For the OP: I can somewhat relate. My husband weighs about 60 pounds more than me and is 9 inches taller. He's also really muscular. His maintenance calories are ~1000 calories/day higher than mine if we're comparably active. Usually, I'm more active, and his maintenance calories are still ~500/day higher than mine.

    My calorie allowance is high enough that I can have some of the calorie-rich foods he enjoys, and we eat the same basic foods for meals - but he gets larger portions of all the calorie-dense stuff and I get equal/bigger portions of the salad and veggies. (I also take my salad before the croutons go in.)

    But, yeah, sometimes it sucks. All I can suggest is "move more" to get your calorie allowance up a bit.

  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,108 Member
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    amymoreorless wrote: »
    TimothyFish wrote: »
    What many people don't realize about people who are "naturally lean and fit" is they are either eating less at other times or their activity level is higher than most people's.

    While this seems to make sense -- I live with someone who defies this logic. My husband can't keep weight on. He is rail thin and looses weight at the drop of a hat. He has seen many doctors and has had numerous tests. He drinks ensure plus between meals just to maintain his weight. He will even wake up at night just to down an ensure and go back to bed!

    The doctors have concluded that he just has a naturally crazy high metabolism. Part of me is bitter - I have to fight for every pound i take off. However, i watch him struggle too. It sucks at both ends of the spectrum.

    I have a friend like that. We lived together when we first moved out on our own at 19/20. I used to be very jealous but finally realized our bodies were just different. I can add muscle easier than she can. There are definitely struggles for all of us even if they aren't the same ones.

  • bee_bee8
    bee_bee8 Posts: 96 Member
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    Oh, I sure identify with this... Eating like my boyfriend was the main cause of my weight problem. Not his fault at all, but he's the same - he can eat whatever he wants and doesn't gain a pound. Luckily for me he doesn't really cook, so at least I don't have to smell delicious food for an hour while he prepares it... But it still kinda sucks having to watch him down 3 slices of pizza with a cup of ranch and not worry about gaining weight.

    What kinds of food do you eat during the day? The only thing that helps me not be too jealous is eating meals that I still enjoy. Sure, they're not as yummy as his, but I don't feel like I'm eating cardboard at least. I recommend looking up some low calorie recipes that actually look appealing to you... they're out there, I promise. This situation requires a lot of will power, but you can do it!
  • rouhnaz
    rouhnaz Posts: 62 Member
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    I value all the feedback. At least we're not alone!
    And yes, having a super high metabolism is a challenge that I will never truly know.
    (Of course, it sounds like a good problem to have from where I'm standing!)

    As for cooking meals for us-- that usually goes south. He can really cook tasty rich foods. I don't have the culinary pizzazz that he inherited from his father (French chef). At least I can have my diet ice cream and peanut butter.
  • ccsernica
    ccsernica Posts: 1,040 Member
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    amymoreorless wrote: »
    TimothyFish wrote: »
    What many people don't realize about people who are "naturally lean and fit" is they are either eating less at other times or their activity level is higher than most people's.

    While this seems to make sense -- I live with someone who defies this logic. My husband can't keep weight on. He is rail thin and looses weight at the drop of a hat. He has seen many doctors and has had numerous tests. He drinks ensure plus between meals just to maintain his weight. He will even wake up at night just to down an ensure and go back to bed!

    The doctors have concluded that he just has a naturally crazy high metabolism. Part of me is bitter - I have to fight for every pound i take off. However, i watch him struggle too. It sucks at both ends of the spectrum.

    This can happen, but it's rare. I even know of a sumo wrestler who spent 10 years in the sport unable to put on any fat. But it's rare enough that you can't assume of anyone who just looks as if they can eat anything and not gain, unless you have a medical opinion.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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    It doesn't bother me. He's naturally slim and he eats his food. I eat mine. Happy life.
  • Tania_181
    Tania_181 Posts: 100 Member
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    I can relate here. My partner needs double the amount of calories just to maintain his weight. I'm in charge of cooking dinner during the week so I can track what goes into my meals. I always load up his plate with much larger portions, particularly of carbs. He's also been kindly trying to snack on foods I don't like but he does, like cream cakes instead of chocolate biscuits.
  • DustinAllgood
    DustinAllgood Posts: 7 Member
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    Just because he is slim doesn't mean he is healthy. It can be really hard but try cutting sugar from your diet. Its in everything and it can cause you to have cravings through out the day.

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