Mean Things People Said That Ended Up Motivating You
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I've been asked too many times when I'm due, it's depressing.
Of subtle things like being with a small group of ladies and having only me not being asked if I'll join the danse troup of one of them (btw I'm a really great dancer! Yep, fat girls can danse!)
No one is ever been mean to me in my face, but still...
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I was in a mentally abusive relationship. Was cheated on many times but never felt bad because of it, I deserved it right? Because I was so fat nobody else would ever want me. When I walked into our home and saw a woman leaving out the back....that's what hit me. I left him and lost 115 lbs in a year. Unfortunately I gained it all back after I met (then married) a wonderful guy. Now my main motivator is my 5 year old girl. I NEVER want her to struggle with weight and health like I do!17
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wellthenwhat wrote: »French_Peasant wrote: »My then-9-year-old daughter: "Why do you have to be the fat mom?" LOL!! Out of the mouths of babes. I told her, first of all, I'm not THAT fat, and second of all, SHE is the one who is responsible. I laughed, but it was a good kick in the pants to get back to my pre-baby weight.
Technically no, she didn't spoon the food into your mouth, lol
That was a cool insight.5 -
My mother said I was 'letting myself go' on a visit last summer after I gained an additional 10 lbs in a year to 162 at 5'4. I am not sure if that was my final motivation to lose 28 lbs, but she sure does approve of me now.2
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My ex told me 40 was going to hit me alot worse than it was going to hit him. I was 34 at the time. I'll be 40 in sept and scheduled for a pinup shoot so yeah 40 is looking pretty good.17
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I have 20lbs left to go after already losing 110lbs. I find no matter where I am in my journey people still say cruel things that help me lift heavier and push harder and want to be stronger.
Most recently my other half told me he's not that attracted to me anymore as I'm "too scrawny and that maybe implants would be a good idea as I don't have any fat left on my body."
I upped my weights again today and he can work on an apology.
Being who you are at any weight is not an invitation for comment ever. We are the most critical of ourselves and the only real motivation comes from within.
Love yourselves and the journey14 -
theskinnyonme wrote: »My ex told me 40 was going to hit me alot worse than it was going to hit him. I was 34 at the time. I'll be 40 in sept and scheduled for a pinup shoot so yeah 40 is looking pretty good.
@theskinnyonme - that's fantastic!
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People have said meaner things to me when I was thin and fit than they ever did when I was fat. Misery loves company and as long as I was party of the chubby crowd nobody every said anything horrible.
Some people can't help but attempt to undermine your efforts. Here's a few:
"Don't you think you've lost enough?"
"You're starting to look bony. Are you sick?"
"Where did your boobs go?"
"You must live at the gym these days."
and my all time favorite
"Skinny B!TCH!" (whispered in my ear while getting a hug from my sister-in-law)8 -
This thread makes me feel sad. I can't help but put myself in each of your shoes as I read these comments. I definitely don't feel inspired by insults.
For me, the last straw was shopping for jeans for my birthday. I couldn't find my size in long lengths anywhere. Apparently tall women aren't supposed to go beyond a size 16. I ended up finding a 22L at one store and settling for that. It was only slightly too big. I had never had such a problem finding clothes like that and decided I was never going to again.4 -
peanutbuttertuesday wrote: »This thread makes me feel sad. I can't help but put myself in each of your shoes as I read these comments. I definitely don't feel inspired by insults.
For me, the last straw was shopping for jeans for my birthday. I couldn't find my size in long lengths anywhere. Apparently tall women aren't supposed to go beyond a size 16. I ended up finding a 22L at one store and settling for that. It was only slightly too big. I had never had such a problem finding clothes like that and decided I was never going to again.
Not sure if you're still buying plus sizes but there are a lot of plus size options out there now. It took some time but companies have caught on.2 -
Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
Hopefully that's motivation for you to break up with him & then lose 20 lbs.
If she breaks up with him she'll lose much more than 20 lbs :-P16 -
Two summers ago when I was about 100 lbs heavier, my family was hanging out at the playground for a picnic. My then-7 year-old nephew went to the monkey bars and was hollering for someone to come play with him. I ran over to play ... but he said to me "You can't play with me because you're too fat!" My sister (who is in great shape) was humiliated (as was I) and I teared up briefly but I decided then that was it. And slowly and steadily I made the changes and lost the weight.12
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wellthenwhat wrote: »French_Peasant wrote: »My then-9-year-old daughter: "Why do you have to be the fat mom?" LOL!! Out of the mouths of babes. I told her, first of all, I'm not THAT fat, and second of all, SHE is the one who is responsible. I laughed, but it was a good kick in the pants to get back to my pre-baby weight.
Technically no, she didn't spoon the food into your mouth, lol
Actually...having kids can greatly contribute to weight gain.6 -
I made this thread because - while I know that offensive things can be super detrimental - sometimes things that were really negative at the time can be made more positive if you reclaim them/their power over you. I'm not losing weight for the haters. I'm losing weight as a f*** you to every judgment against my appearance, whether that's from a family member, the media, or even myself.
I'm not losing weight FOR my great aunt, nor am I trying to impress her or anyone like her. It's a commitment to myself that I actually can do something that people were telling me I couldn't: take control of my weight and look better than ever.
A lot of weight loss can be for superficial reasons, so having superficial motivations isn't necessarily a bad thing. Also, getting these barbs out and reclaiming your power over them can be really empowering to some people.10 -
starfruit132 wrote: »My mother said I was 'letting myself go' on a visit last summer after I gained an additional 10 lbs in a year to 162 at 5'4. I am not sure if that was my final motivation to lose 28 lbs, but she sure does approve of me now.
Sorry that happened to you - that's *kitten* that approval is based on your weight.
However, I'm glad you were able to lose weight, if that's what you wanted
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I got sick of everyone asking if I was pregnant. The worst was at wedding, during the ceremony, I could hear my husband's mother discussing with someone whether or not I was pregnant or if it was just my dress. I refuse to call that witch by anything other than her name or "my husband's mother".
Not the reason I started losing weight, but definitely something that stays with me. My final straw was actually the embarrassment of having to have my wedding band cut off my finger.2 -
Because it happened to me, it was funny but I wouldn't think it funny if it happened to someone else but...
Several years ago I had just started walking and I wear ear buds. When approaching someone I turn down the music to exchange pleasantries. One day while passing a group of teenagers I heard one say "look at that fat *kitten*" not thinking I could hear them. I turned and said "why do you think I'm out here walking"? I had a smile on my face. Poor kids they actually said "so sorry" they were really embarrassed. I actually took it pretty lighthearted, one because it was true but also because they were apologizing.
But I can't say anything external helped. I've never been happy being overweight. My self talk was the worst!6 -
Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
You have bigger problems than just weight loss!
Agreed. Have you thought about talking to him about that? It seems like a really shallow, superficial and judgmental comment. No one who cares about you should say something like that.
You could lose over 100 pounds really fast and ditch the boy"friend."
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The only mean things about my body that anyone has ever said was when I got fit.
What got me to change was the voice in my own head. My jeans were getting pretty tight and one morning after a bit of a struggle, I saw two very large women waiting on the elevator to take them up one floor, and clear as a bell the voice said, "in 5-10 years, that will be you if you don't change". I'd been gaining 10lbs/year..Needed the first 20, didn't need the last 30. Took a walk that afternoon, and never looked back.
My mum told me that my muscles made me "almost ugly". That didn't change my routine or my goals.1 -
Oh I've heard it all! "You are fat. Your husband had an affair because you are disguisting. You have to stay because you have no other options for love. You've lost 62 lbs and you think 100 will
make it any better? What a joke!" That *kitten* in the mirror is pretty ruthless. Working on it.12
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