Mean Things People Said That Ended Up Motivating You
viviennereill
Posts: 7 Member
I was just on the thread about fit shaming and I saw that a lot of users remembered mean things people had said to them that, in the end, motivated them to do better. What are some of the stupid things people said that you remember when you're sweating your butt off at the gym, or avoiding that 3rd slice of pizza?
Mine? My great aunt, unsolicited, "You've gained weight...you looked better before."
It gave me the kick in the pants I needed to start losing weight - before I thought it wasn't that noticeable that I'd gained 30 pounds. What she said was brutal, and I don't think it was called for, but now that I'm 10 pounds down and on my way to my dream body, I'm glad that I have comments like that to motivate me!
Mine? My great aunt, unsolicited, "You've gained weight...you looked better before."
It gave me the kick in the pants I needed to start losing weight - before I thought it wasn't that noticeable that I'd gained 30 pounds. What she said was brutal, and I don't think it was called for, but now that I'm 10 pounds down and on my way to my dream body, I'm glad that I have comments like that to motivate me!
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I kept getting asked when my baby was due
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Them: "You just had a baby, didn't you? How old is your baby now?"
Me: "My son is 19".
Them: "Oh, 19 months old?"
Me: "No, he's 19 years old!"
I realize this isn't exactly mean spirited but after you keep hearing it on a daily basis (from working with the public) it gets depressing fast. No one has asked about my "baby" since I lost weight!
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A lot of my motivation has come not from what people have said, but from the things that people have not said.13
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When people made mean comments to me from childhood and on, it just made me eat more... Now, I'm doing it for spite... Oh yeah, and for my health because I'm not getting any younger... But spite keeps me from inhaling entire pizzas and bags of chocolate...13
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My then-9-year-old daughter: "Why do you have to be the fat mom?" LOL!! Out of the mouths of babes. I told her, first of all, I'm not THAT fat, and second of all, SHE is the one who is responsible. I laughed, but it was a good kick in the pants to get back to my pre-baby weight.10
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I was walking my dog about 3 years ago and while crossing the street (I had the right of way to do so), a bunch of teenage guys rolled down their window and yelled "Get out of the street, cow, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" That random 2 second incident by a bunch of strangers has really stuck with me. I wasn't even at my heaviest then. But I am determined to be at a place where people don't see me as a cow.9
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The meanest things I've ever heard said to me were said by me, to my reflection in the mirror at my heaviest weight. It was a great motivator, as I knew I was the only one responsible for my condition and also the only one with the power to change it.21
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Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.1 -
The meanest things I've ever heard said to me were said by me, to my reflection in the mirror at my heaviest weight. It was a great motivator, as I knew I was the only one responsible for my condition and also the only one with the power to change it.
This. No one has ever said anything as hurtful to me as what I have said to myself.
Although, the very distint oh-so-southern way my mother says the word "obese"--as if she is trying to find a polite word to substitute for FAT-- rings in my ears often. as in:- when I was 16 while shopping for a prom dress: "oh darling, that dress would look just lovely on someone a little less. . . .obese."
- when I was 34, celebrating my 10-year wedding anniversary by reminiscing over the wedding pictures: "oh sweetheart, you looked just radiant in your wedding dress! It was so becoming on an obese girl."
- when I was 55 after I had lost ~60 lbs: "I always felt responsible for the fact that you were obese."
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Am I the only person who is more motivated by people who are kind and accepting?
Like when someone accepts me and makes me feel good enough I feel empowered to improve myself even more.
i think this is important to a lot of people, especially people like me who in ways like their lives and really have the fear of change holding them back from losing the weight.
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@augustremulous I'm the same way. Mean stuff has never, ever motivated me, just made me lose respect for the person who said whatever. And rightfully so!
Why should I care what other people say? What qualifies them to be the judge of the beauty contest I never entered anyway?13 -
rosebarnalice wrote: »The meanest things I've ever heard said to me were said by me, to my reflection in the mirror at my heaviest weight. It was a great motivator, as I knew I was the only one responsible for my condition and also the only one with the power to change it.
This. No one has ever said anything as hurtful to me as what I have said to myself.
Although, the very distint oh-so-southern way my mother says the word "obese"--as if she is trying to find a polite word to substitute for FAT-- rings in my ears often. as in:- when I was 16 while shopping for a prom dress: "oh darling, that dress would look just lovely on someone a little less. . . .obese."
- when I was 34, celebrating my 10-year wedding anniversary by reminiscing over the wedding pictures: "oh sweetheart, you looked just radiant in your wedding dress! It was so becoming on an obese girl."
- when I was 55 after I had lost ~60 lbs: "I always felt responsible for the fact that you were obese."
I certainly hope you gave her a super-sweet Southern smile and said, "Why bless your little heart!" right back to her. That's how you use a drawl to shank a MF'er.
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The truth is hurtful2
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It wasn't really something mean but eye opening. I'm 5' 11" and once when I was out shopping with my 5'2" 115 lb friend I said something about not being able to shop at the same stores she could because they didn't carry my size (I was a size 18 or 20 then). She said "you're just bigger because you're tall" and that made me think about 15 years ago when I was the exact same height but a size 9. So, no, I wasn't just bigger because I'm tall, I was bigger because I had gained 70 lbs.5
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Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
You have bigger problems than just weight loss!
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Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
Hopefully that's motivation for you to break up with him & then lose 20 lbs.30 -
"Aren't you going to drink a Diet Coke?"
Said from my brother when I gained weight
Also my family nitpicks at weight and size. Pointing out weight loss, weight gain, etc.2 -
Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
I hope you dumped him. What a jerk.8 -
French_Peasant wrote: »My then-9-year-old daughter: "Why do you have to be the fat mom?" LOL!! Out of the mouths of babes. I told her, first of all, I'm not THAT fat, and second of all, SHE is the one who is responsible. I laughed, but it was a good kick in the pants to get back to my pre-baby weight.
Technically no, she didn't spoon the food into your mouth, lol7 -
I was walking my dog about 3 years ago and while crossing the street (I had the right of way to do so), a bunch of teenage guys rolled down their window and yelled "Get out of the street, cow, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" That random 2 second incident by a bunch of strangers has really stuck with me. I wasn't even at my heaviest then. But I am determined to be at a place where people don't see me as a cow.
I had something like that happen to me a month after having my son. They yelled something like, "you better run faster if you want to lose any weight." As I sprinted across the busy intersection. For a split second I wanted to pick up a brick and toss it through the windshield. People can be down right mean. Sadly I'm bigger now then I was then, things like that stick with you.5 -
Someone told my best friend she looked like Mimi from the Drew Carey show, not just because she was big, but she did look like her.☹ I don't know how much weight she lost, but she worked very hard and got very thin after that.7
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I've been asked too many times when I'm due, it's depressing.
Of subtle things like being with a small group of ladies and having only me not being asked if I'll join the danse troup of one of them (btw I'm a really great dancer! Yep, fat girls can danse!)
No one is ever been mean to me in my face, but still...
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I was in a mentally abusive relationship. Was cheated on many times but never felt bad because of it, I deserved it right? Because I was so fat nobody else would ever want me. When I walked into our home and saw a woman leaving out the back....that's what hit me. I left him and lost 115 lbs in a year. Unfortunately I gained it all back after I met (then married) a wonderful guy. Now my main motivator is my 5 year old girl. I NEVER want her to struggle with weight and health like I do!17
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wellthenwhat wrote: »French_Peasant wrote: »My then-9-year-old daughter: "Why do you have to be the fat mom?" LOL!! Out of the mouths of babes. I told her, first of all, I'm not THAT fat, and second of all, SHE is the one who is responsible. I laughed, but it was a good kick in the pants to get back to my pre-baby weight.
Technically no, she didn't spoon the food into your mouth, lol
That was a cool insight.5 -
My mother said I was 'letting myself go' on a visit last summer after I gained an additional 10 lbs in a year to 162 at 5'4. I am not sure if that was my final motivation to lose 28 lbs, but she sure does approve of me now.2
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My ex told me 40 was going to hit me alot worse than it was going to hit him. I was 34 at the time. I'll be 40 in sept and scheduled for a pinup shoot so yeah 40 is looking pretty good.17
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I have 20lbs left to go after already losing 110lbs. I find no matter where I am in my journey people still say cruel things that help me lift heavier and push harder and want to be stronger.
Most recently my other half told me he's not that attracted to me anymore as I'm "too scrawny and that maybe implants would be a good idea as I don't have any fat left on my body."
I upped my weights again today and he can work on an apology.
Being who you are at any weight is not an invitation for comment ever. We are the most critical of ourselves and the only real motivation comes from within.
Love yourselves and the journey14 -
theskinnyonme wrote: »My ex told me 40 was going to hit me alot worse than it was going to hit him. I was 34 at the time. I'll be 40 in sept and scheduled for a pinup shoot so yeah 40 is looking pretty good.
@theskinnyonme - that's fantastic!
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People have said meaner things to me when I was thin and fit than they ever did when I was fat. Misery loves company and as long as I was party of the chubby crowd nobody every said anything horrible.
Some people can't help but attempt to undermine your efforts. Here's a few:
"Don't you think you've lost enough?"
"You're starting to look bony. Are you sick?"
"Where did your boobs go?"
"You must live at the gym these days."
and my all time favorite
"Skinny B!TCH!" (whispered in my ear while getting a hug from my sister-in-law)8 -
This thread makes me feel sad. I can't help but put myself in each of your shoes as I read these comments. I definitely don't feel inspired by insults.
For me, the last straw was shopping for jeans for my birthday. I couldn't find my size in long lengths anywhere. Apparently tall women aren't supposed to go beyond a size 16. I ended up finding a 22L at one store and settling for that. It was only slightly too big. I had never had such a problem finding clothes like that and decided I was never going to again.4 -
peanutbuttertuesday wrote: »This thread makes me feel sad. I can't help but put myself in each of your shoes as I read these comments. I definitely don't feel inspired by insults.
For me, the last straw was shopping for jeans for my birthday. I couldn't find my size in long lengths anywhere. Apparently tall women aren't supposed to go beyond a size 16. I ended up finding a 22L at one store and settling for that. It was only slightly too big. I had never had such a problem finding clothes like that and decided I was never going to again.
Not sure if you're still buying plus sizes but there are a lot of plus size options out there now. It took some time but companies have caught on.2
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