Are your partners supportive?

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Replies

  • bhurley100
    bhurley100 Posts: 201 Member
    Thanks girls I put it down to his faulty personality and trying to bring me down but it still makes me feel like crap dreading my holiday with him I'd rather go on my own and not feel judged on what I look like or feel like he's embarrassed by me at the end of the day he is not all that great himself although he thinks he's gods gift ha anyway onwards and upwards I don't need a man in my life I'm quite capable and independent with my 5 kids I've had a c section and a ectopic previously so have a horizontal scar from my belly button down and the c section scar too so get called jelly belly blah blah blah he bores me I told him to go find a skinny woman cos I'm not interested

    You go girl!! Ditch that undeserving loser!! There is so much better out there. Do what fitness and exercise plan you want in your journey. This is for YOU. Theres plenty of online support when you need it.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    Mine forced me to go to the gym despite crying that I didn't want to because my depression has completely overwhelmed me. And normally I don't miss a gym day even in the worst circumstances. So I knew he was trying to be supportive by ensuring I continued to do what I enjoy.

    In regards to eating.. well that can be hard at times because he likes eating out. But I manage.
  • texasfarmer
    texasfarmer Posts: 502 Member
    My boyfriend called me an ugly fat whale and when I go on holiday on the beach there will be no water left

    You need a new boyfriend! Why would you be with someone that talked to you like that? I'd rather be alone.
  • aganey
    aganey Posts: 501 Member
    My husband is so unbelievably supportive of me. I'm 5'7 and 181 currently. My heaviest was 198. When we met I was 118 (dancer's body). He has worked out his whole life and is in such great shape. I tell him all the time that people probably look at us out and about and think "how did they end up together" because he's so fit and I'm just not. He tells me all the time that I am so mean to myself with the things I say about myself and that he loves me no matter what I look like. He actually prefers my curves better. He tells me all the time how proud of me he is and he doesn't want me to lose too much. I'm aiming for a healthy and toned 140. I feel like that would make me and him happy even though he tells me to do it for myself, not him. After all I am a mom of two and would like to just look like a healthy fit mom. He encourages me. We watch workout videos together. He listens when I talk about my struggles and offers advice. I couldn't have a more supportive man that I love.
  • wpg2mpls
    wpg2mpls Posts: 17 Member
    My husband is generally very supportive- he loves to cook and is always open to trying new things with healthier ingredients. He has also started making an effort to eat better and exercise as well, which is a big change for a guy who can put away a dozen donuts without batting an eye (I've seen it!). The only issue I have with him is that he thinks I don't eat enough and will sometimes ask a bit too frequently what I've eaten and then comment that I should have more. He is 6'1 210lbs and I am 5'6 130lbs so he needs WAY more calories than I do and he also doesn't have a good sense of proper portions. I eat around 2000 calories a day which is totally reasonable but because his sense of portions is so skewed he assumes its a lot less than that. He also burns way more at the gym than I do so I think he is also overestimating my needs in that respect. I know he is just concerned that I am taking it too far but I wish he had a little more faith that I know what is right for my body.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    vespiquenn wrote: »
    Mine forced me to go to the gym despite crying that I didn't want to because my depression has completely overwhelmed me. And normally I don't miss a gym day even in the worst circumstances. So I knew he was trying to be supportive by ensuring I continued to do what I enjoy.

    In regards to eating.. well that can be hard at times because he likes eating out. But I manage.

    This is just great. I need this.
  • Leah_62803
    Leah_62803 Posts: 292 Member
    My husband isn't unsupportive... I don't know if I'd call him supportive though. He's part of the reason I gained weight. He spoils me and spoils me with food. He doesn't purposely sabotage me (I don't think) but he likes to surprise me with candy and sweets. Just food in general, anything he knows I like.
    He grew up in a family that just doesn't care about health or their weight. They are all extremely unhealthy and morbidly obese but make no effort to change at all. So it's been hard for him to notice or care. He's 6'3 and over 350 lbs. Occasionally he'll get on a kick and lose about 20 lbs or so but always goes back. I always fail too though so he probably doesn't feel like I take it seriously either.

    I do wish he was more supportive. I wish I was better for him too though. I don't know how to talk to him about food.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Super supportive. We met just after I lost weight 15 years ago. So he met me as slimmer me.
    He's always supported "my way" of eating.
    When menopause hit and the scale crept up a bit, he was wonderful.
    He couldn't be more supportive.
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    My husband is my biggest support system and my biggest inspiration. We're both into health and fitness, so we mesh wonderfully.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    Ni_La82 wrote: »
    My husband tries but doesn't understand. It's either one extreme or the other.
    I did Lindora and the first day he brought home Popeyes fried chicken.
    Then he got over enthusiastic. When I started losing weight he told everyone I was on a diet (it was embarrassing) and he'd be irritated with me if I so much as looked at dessert. When I thought I was done he said I hadn't lost enough weight. I gave up about then. I'm ready to restart but I'm keeping him out of it.
    I think this is kinda sweet. Maybe a bit clueless but good intentions.
    My hubby is super supportive so I can't fault him in that regard. When I'm on a bender though the last thing I need is him criticizing what I eat. I don't believe I need anyone's permission to eat whatever the heck I want.

  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    Thanks girls I put it down to his faulty personality and trying to bring me down but it still makes me feel like crap dreading my holiday with him I'd rather go on my own and not feel judged on what I look like or feel like he's embarrassed by me at the end of the day he is not all that great himself although he thinks he's gods gift ha anyway onwards and upwards I don't need a man in my life I'm quite capable and independent with my 5 kids I've had a c section and a ectopic previously so have a horizontal scar from my belly button down and the c section scar too so get called jelly belly blah blah blah he bores me I told him to go find a skinny woman cos I'm not interested

    Forgive me for stating/asking the obvious, but why are you with him?
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    edited April 2017
    My boyfriend is great. He is. However, I think he worries about me losing weight. We kind of bond over our love of food and both of us have gained since we met. I think he is extra insecure as he watches me become thinner as he is maintaining a higher weight or gaining a little. However, with that said, he TRIES. He does try. He complained at first, but seeing my progress he doesn't order out unless I'm okay with it or he's not home so that he won't tempt me because I am definitely addicted to food. He buys snacks (for me), but now he usually asks first. I also plan around him so we eat at different times because of multiple reasons, but mainly because if I eat and then he eats in front of me I want to eat again and struggle not to. He's very considerate. I love that he tries even if sometimes it's stressful for him because he needs to accommodate for me or it sometimes makes him insecure.
  • DietPrada
    DietPrada Posts: 1,171 Member
    My partner is pretty good. He lacks self control himself, he is a big snacker and doesn't really care what he eats, but he has an active job so he's not huge. Carries a bit of extra weight but he's not worried about it. He has, however, taken the time to understand what foods are low carb and what aren't, and he's learned to read labels. He cooks dinner most nights and has really extended himself in the low carb department, cooking meals I can eat. When we go out for dinner he takes care to pick somewhere I can get a low carb option. He also buys the low carb snacks I like. I don't feel any pressure to eat anything off plan.

    I was 108kg when we met, and he was attracted to me then. I'm 85kg now and he did mention the other day something about "don't lose too much weight". I know from his comments about women on the TV that he is not at all attracted to skinny women. I don't think I'll ever be skinny though - I'd be happy with 75kg, which would put me at the upper end of a healthy BMI.
  • xoxbrandigurl
    xoxbrandigurl Posts: 3 Member
    My husband is somwhat supportive. He defends me when our friends want bad food like pizza. But at the same time he wont eat what i eat and we have a lot of trouble agreeing on what to eat for dinner.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,162 Member
    edited April 2017
    My husband is somwhat supportive. He defends me when our friends want bad food like pizza. But at the same time he wont eat what i eat and we have a lot of trouble agreeing on what to eat for dinner.

    He doesn't have to eat what you eat! My partner doesn't!
    But we do have the same evening meal but mine is adapted to me.
    So for example the other day I made spag Bol. I did him pasta and I spiralized some veg instead of pasta.

    That way you won't disagree on dinner because yours is adapted to you!
    So say you both fancy roast dinner, have the chicken and veg, but have a salad instead of the potatoes or something

    Hope that helps!
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    edited April 2017
    Bex953172 wrote: »
    My husband is somwhat supportive. He defends me when our friends want bad food like pizza. But at the same time he wont eat what i eat and we have a lot of trouble agreeing on what to eat for dinner.

    He doesn't have to eat what you eat! My partner doesn't!
    But we do have the same evening meal but mine is adapted to me.
    So for example the other day I made spag Bol. I did him pasta and I spiralized some veg instead of pasta.

    That way you won't disagree on dinner because yours is adapted to you!
    So say you both fancy roast dinner, have the chicken and veg, but have a salad instead of the potatoes or something

    Hope that helps!

    To an extend I agree - I don't have to eat what he eats, but I translate that in quantity, not by chanign dinner.
    My husbnad and I will have one dinner at all times, it is healty homemade stuff that much we agree on. He just has more (or call it; I have less). Both my husband and I refuse flat out to cook two dinners. It is so much our time together that we would feel completely disenganged from the little time we have during the week together if we gave that up, because the next step would be not having dinner together because it is just easier

    I am not on a diet - I have changed my eating habits and exercise regime to suit the reality of my body and that simply means for me eating less. He's male and quite a bit taller he needs more calories so he'll eat more of what I am eating in gerenal
    So he will eat spiralized vegies when we have dinner together- and I know that he will then often have some nuts afterward. He'll have some chips stuff etc, but usually not when I am there.
    He'll have the larger lunch so he (very supportively) is fuller and also can make due with a low cal dinner if that is what we are having.

    For instance tonight he knows I will have the same meal as he does, just I will have a lot less of the rice that goes with it. (like 1/4 of his).
    Tomorrow We'll have Pasta Carbonara because my CO allows it. The whole nine yards - eggs, bacon, pasta and cheese.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,631 Member
    edited April 2017
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,162 Member
    Bex953172 wrote: »
    My husband is somwhat supportive. He defends me when our friends want bad food like pizza. But at the same time he wont eat what i eat and we have a lot of trouble agreeing on what to eat for dinner.

    He doesn't have to eat what you eat! My partner doesn't!
    But we do have the same evening meal but mine is adapted to me.
    So for example the other day I made spag Bol. I did him pasta and I spiralized some veg instead of pasta.

    That way you won't disagree on dinner because yours is adapted to you!
    So say you both fancy roast dinner, have the chicken and veg, but have a salad instead of the potatoes or something

    Hope that helps!

    To an extend I agree - I don't have to eat what he eats, but I translate that in quantity, not by chanign dinner.
    My husbnad and I will have one dinner at all times, it is healty homemade stuff that much we agree on. He just has more (or call it; I have less). Both my husband and I refuse flat out to cook two dinners. It is so much our time together that we would feel completely disenganged from the little time we have during the week together if we gave that up, because the next step would be not having dinner together because it is just easier

    I am not on a diet - I have changed my eating habits and exercise regime to suit the reality of my body and that simply means for me eating less. He's male and quite a bit taller he needs more calories so he'll eat more of what I am eating in gerenal
    So he will eat spiralized vegies when we have dinner together- and I know that he will then often have some nuts afterward. He'll have some chips stuff etc, but usually not when I am there.
    He'll have the larger lunch so he (very supportively) is fuller and also can make due with a low cal dinner if that is what we are having.

    For instance tonight he knows I will have the same meal as he does, just I will have a lot less of the rice that goes with it. (like 1/4 of his).
    Tomorrow We'll have Pasta Carbonara because my CO allows it. The whole nine yards - eggs, bacon, pasta and cheese.

    Yeah I agree with you too, I just realised I answered based on my diet.
    But before I overhauled what I ate I just had less quantity.
    So I'd have 75g of pasta and my OHwould have like 150

    So really it depends what kind of diet you're on and how you adapt it to you
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,162 Member
    Sorry not diet, lifestyle changes!
  • nataliebreen85
    nataliebreen85 Posts: 2 Member
    Of course my husband supports me! He wouldn't be my husband if he didn't. I feel so bad for people with partners who don't support them.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Of course my husband supports me! He wouldn't be my husband if he didn't. I feel so bad for people with partners who don't support them.

    Agreed.
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