My parents are obsessed with trying to stop my weight loss
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I am always reluctant about these threads, because I remember one where the OP was complaining about everyone in her life trying to get her to stop, and people giving all kinds of advice, and then when the OP's stats were finally cajoled out of her, it turned out she was already underweight and striving to be dangerously underweight. In other words, her parents and the people in her life were right, but she was deep in the throes of her eating disorder and couldn't see it.
So much this... Plus a lot of under aged people pose as adults here.7 -
I remember one like that too.I am always reluctant about these threads, because I remember one where the OP was complaining about everyone in her life trying to get her to stop, and people giving all kinds of advice, and then when the OP's stats were finally cajoled out of her, it turned out she was already underweight and striving to be dangerously underweight. In other words, her parents and the people in her life were right, but she was deep in the throes of her eating disorder and couldn't see it.
Or underage.
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I'm not I am losing weight in a healthy way and not really fast or too much and I'm not underage either. I wasn't happy when I was obese so I lost weight to be happy it is just the same now but a lot less weight I am already a lot happier with how I look and my body is a lot better I know size doesn't cause happiness but it helps me be more comfortable with my body.
I'll try telling her about the health benefits whenever she critises me but it's really hard when it is constant and she doesn't really care about any of that it's just how I look she just tells me I look too thin and then tries to make me feel guilty for not wanting to talk to her about it and she is only concerned. But she doesn't ever get less concerned when I explain or talk about the health benefits off being a healthier weight either7 -
So move out and limit contact with mom if it bothers you.16
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As annoying as it is, it is a mom's job to worry. She may be wrong but given all of the eating disorder information we have today, I don't think she nuts for being concerned.
As long as you are truly losing weight in a healthy way, staying within a healthy BMI range, and you aren't basing your happiness on the number on the scale, there might not be much you can do other than try your best to ignore her.
You can present the facts to her until you're blue in the face and she may never accept it or believe you.4 -
Question OP, is your Mom overweight or obese?7
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Concentrate on distraction, if you can get her interested in something else it may help, good luck0
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You have about the same BMI as my kid, who has probably achieved her adult height and who unsurprisingly looks entirely weight-height appropriate to me. A BMI of 22 is right about 50th percentile for 18yos. So I have no complaint with that size. My concern has more to do with mental state than physical size.
"I want to lose a little more to be really happy with my size" is an enormous red flag for me. There's no size that causes happiness.
Additionally, I would be less concerned with weight that fell off due to cutting back sugar, increasing vegetables, and picking up an active hobby than I would be with weight that fell off due to skipping breakfast and lunch, cutting out as much fat as possible, and grimly exercising in isolation.
You're rather judgmental about people who prefer solo exercise, and there are a lot of people who do. Exercising solo does not make exercise "grim".
As far as there not being a size that makes someone happy, that is also something that may not apply to you but does to others, like everyone who is trying to lose weight or gain it, because if they were happy with their current size they wouldn't be trying to change it.23 -
You are logging here so I am presuming you truely are 18 with a BMI of 22. If not, ignore this post and talk to your health professional.
If you only want to lose a few vanity pounds either. -
Start doing a recomp- maintain weight but do resistence/strength training to improve your body's composition.
Or set a healthy .5 lbs a week goal, log your food, eat a mainly nutritious diet and share the info in your diary with your mum so she knows you are acting responsibly.
My mum worries about my thinner face- I am 63 and she is 90. A mother never stops worrying- find a way to reassure here that you are approaching your goal in a responsible adult manner.
Cheers, h.26 -
Parents worry. That's their job. Maybe give weight loss a break for a while to give your skin time to tighten up, so they won't worry as much.2
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You can't change your mom. You can only change the way you react to your mom. The two of you can't have an argument if you're not holding up your end. So you respond, "thanks, mom, I appreciate your concern, but I've explained to you that I'm at a healthy weight, and I don't see what can be accomplished by talking about it anymore." If she continues, you have a choice of just not responding at all, responding by talking about something else, or leaving the room.3
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heiliskrimsli wrote: »You have about the same BMI as my kid, who has probably achieved her adult height and who unsurprisingly looks entirely weight-height appropriate to me. A BMI of 22 is right about 50th percentile for 18yos. So I have no complaint with that size. My concern has more to do with mental state than physical size.
"I want to lose a little more to be really happy with my size" is an enormous red flag for me. There's no size that causes happiness.
Additionally, I would be less concerned with weight that fell off due to cutting back sugar, increasing vegetables, and picking up an active hobby than I would be with weight that fell off due to skipping breakfast and lunch, cutting out as much fat as possible, and grimly exercising in isolation.
You're rather judgmental about people who prefer solo exercise, and there are a lot of people who do. Exercising solo does not make exercise "grim".
Yeah I didn't really get that at all. So everyone that exercises alone is "grimly exercising"??? My goodness. I guess I have been "grimly exercising" all my life.
I don't enjoy working out or running with a partner. Never have.heiliskrimsli wrote: »As far as there not being a size that makes someone happy, that is also something that may not apply to you but does to others, like everyone who is trying to lose weight or gain it, because if they were happy with their current size they wouldn't be trying to change it.
So much this^^.7 -
I'm 45 and my mum voiced her concerns when i was 20lbs into my 30lb loss. I was only overweight for a few years, i weighed less than i do now in my 20's and 30's, how quickly they forget...
I fibbed and just told her i had stopped trying to lose weight and am maintaining when ever she started in on the weight loss talk.3 -
heiliskrimsli wrote: »Exercising solo does not make exercise "grim".
I don't disagree with that! "I would be concerned about my kid grimly exercising in isolation" is not the same as "everyone who prefers solo exercise is doing it wrong." If I said I would be concerned about my kid excessively drinking alcohol, that would not imply that drinking alcohol makes drinking excessive. Same grammatical construction in both cases.
I personally am happy with my size and body, and I was happy with my size and body 50 pounds heavier. What I wasn't happy with was my health, by which I mean blood pressure, cholesterol, and ability to enjoy moderate physical activity. The times in my life I have been most unhappy with my size and body were the times I had the most disordered eating; they were not the times I had the highest BMI.
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fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »So everyone that exercises alone is "grimly exercising"???
No, my child grimly exercising in isolation would be concerning to me. My child cheerfully exercising independently would not be.
I suspect you can tell when your kid is independent vs isolated, and when your kid is grim vs cheerful. None of us know for sure which of those the OP's mom is seeing.13 -
fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »So everyone that exercises alone is "grimly exercising"???
No, my child grimly exercising in isolation would be concerning to me. My child cheerfully exercising independently would not be.
I suspect you can tell when your kid is independent vs isolated, and when your kid is grim vs cheerful. None of us know for sure which of those the OP's mom is seeing.
Like when you hear the treadmill banging for hours behind the closed door because they're desperately trying to burn off that jelly bean they ate. There's definitely a difference between independent v isolation.
I prefer to exercise by myself, because people annoy me 28 -
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Christine_72 wrote: »I prefer to exercise by myself, because people annoy me
My current exercise of choice is swimming. Sometimes I get really lucky and have the whole lap pool to myself. The other day, the warm pool was closed and I had to share a lane and it was so much harder to relax and do my thing.
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Congratulations on your achievements. You have done really well to get to where you are without the support of your parents and as it has been gradual weight loss it would mean that you have done so at a healthy rate.
I'd suggest transitioning into maintenance now. If you gradually inccrease your calorie intake once a week you will still lose a bit more. On top of this do strength training if you aren't already. As muscle is much denser than fat you can keep the weight you are, gain muscle, lose fat and still lose a few more centimetres here and there. The end result will be a much more toned body. That way you can honestly tell your mom that you are no longer losing weight which will keep her happy and off your back but you will like what you see in the mirror more. Also remember that your mom is doing this out of genuine concern and love.6 -
Christine_72 wrote: »I prefer to exercise by myself, because people annoy me
My current exercise of choice is swimming. Sometimes I get really lucky and have the whole lap pool to myself. The other day, the warm pool was closed and I had to share a lane and it was so much harder to relax and do my thing.
Ugh, I hate it when people are in my pool! (Okay, it's the city's pool, but still).
OP, the bickering with my mom stopped when I moved out (well, not stopped, but much easier to distance from it). If that's not something you can do, then as others have said, change your response to her. That's the only control you have in the situation... yourself.5
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